Mike Fink Quotes in Davy Crockett and the River Pirates (1956)

[Crockett and Russel approach Fink as the Gullywhumper is secured to the boat landing]

Davy Crockett: Excuse me, mister? Which one of them fellers is captain of this boat?

Mike Fink: What did you say?

Moose: [laughing] He wants to know who the captain is!

[Fink smacks Moose]

Mike Fink: How long you bush-wackers been beating the backwoods? Why, everybody knows who the captain of the Gullywhumper is! It's me! Mike Fink, King of the River!

George Russel: Well, Captain, meet up with Davy Crockett, King of the Wild Frontier.

Mike Fink: Davy Crockett, huh? Well, it sure is a small world. You're about a foot shorter than you oughta be.

George Russel: Don't worry, he's still a growin'.

Mike Fink: Yeah, like them yarns they keep spreadin' about him.

Davy Crockett: Mighty hard to live up to, sometime.

Mike Fink: Well, I don't have any trouble livin' up to mine. I am the original ringtail roarer from the thunder 'n lightnin' country! I'm a real snorter and a head buster! I can out-run, out-jump, out-sing, out-swim, out-dance, out-shoot, out-eat, out-drink...

Davy Crockett: Out-talk?

Mike Fink: Yeah, out-talk, out-cuss and out-fight anybody in the Mississippi and Ohio Rivers put together!

[singing]

Mike Fink: Listen to the thunder, hear the winds roar, hurricane's a comin', board up the door. Load up the cannon, call out the law, worstest calamity that folks ever saw! Girls run and hide, brave men shiver, I'm Mike Fink, King of the River!

[Fink sees the Bertha Mae crew singing]

Mike Fink: Look at them clodhoppers, wouldja.

[Jocko kicks Moose to wake him up]

Moose: Was I snoring again?

Jocko: On your feet! They're catchin' up!

Mike Fink: Don't strain yourselves, boys. They ain't gonna catch us.

[the crew stumbles when the Gullywhumper hits an obstructive tree]

Mike Fink: Hey, you stumble-footed idiots! What are trying to do, sink us to the bottom?

[Jocko shares a glass with Russel, who never drinks]

Mike Fink: Ah! That's kind of tasty, ain't it?

Davy Crockett: That'd grow pink whiskers on a...

[hiccups]

Davy Crockett: That'd grow pink whiskers on a hound dog.