Mike Engelberg Quotes in Bad News Bears (2005)

Mike Engelberg: [Buttermaker falls down drunk] Is he dead?

Prem Lahiri: No, he is drunk.

Tanner Boyle: Screw this, man, I'm takin' his wallet.

Morris Buttermaker: Is that a baggy full of bacon?

Mike Engelberg: I'm on Atkins!

Mike Engelberg: Gotta protect the family jewels.

Tanner Boyle: Who are you kidding. When's the last time you even saw them?

Mike Engelberg: Hey Kelly can we make another stop?

Kelly Leak: Engelberg can't you just...

Mike Engelberg: Look it happens I can't control things like this...

Mike Engelberg: [after a huge fight between Carmen and Tanner, Engelberg is on the phone with KFC] Hey, what do you mean biscuits and coleslaw are extra?

Mike Engelberg: Couldn't you throw it a little harder please? They're hitting every one you throw!

Mike Engelberg: [entire Bears team singing] Won't your mother be disgusted when she finds her son is busted, footprint on the dashboard upside down, yee haw! Won't she scream in your ear when she finds you with that beer, grinin' and a stumblin all around yee haw!