Mike Ditka Quotes in Kicking & Screaming (2005)
Mike Ditka Quotes:
Ann Hogan: Hi, Mr.Ditka. I was wondering - my son byong-sun is a little shy, so could I get an autograph?
Mike Ditka: Yeah, sure, how do you spell it?
Ann Hogan: B-Y-...
Mike Ditka: I think I got it.
Donna Jones: [walking away looking at autograph] Bing-bong?
Mike Ditka: Coffee is the lifeblood that fuels the dreams of champions.
Phil Weston: You're my assistant. You're supposed to back me up and go get me juiceboxes whenever I want. Now go get me a juicebox!
Mike Ditka: DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE TALKING TO?
Phil Weston: I'm talkin' to the juicebox guy!
Mike Ditka: You're crazy!
Phil Weston: I'm not crazy, I'm just thirsty!
Mike Ditka: OH, YOU GO TO HELL!
Phil Weston: No, you go to hell, and while you're there, why don't you grab me a juicebox!
Mike Ditka: [to the Tigers team] Now this is gonna be the hardest, most difficult thing you ever attempted in your entire life. But you know what, when it's over...
Phil Weston: Don't get emotional...
Mike Ditka: When it's over...
Phil Weston: When it's over...
Mike Ditka: You guys are gonna be champions! My God, you're going to be champions!
Phil Weston: Champions!
Mike Ditka: Now let's get out there and kick some butt!
Phil Weston: On three, 'let's have fun'.
The Tigers: [all chant] One, two, three, Let's have fun!
Mike Ditka: [to Phil, mocking] 'Let's have fun,' what's THAT?
Buck Weston: Oh, this oughtta be good. If we live long enough, we'll see Iron Mike and Aluminum Phil coaching the Tigers.
Mike Ditka: I couldn't really hear ya, Weston. My Superbowl ring was making too much noise.
Mike Ditka: Way to go, Bing Bong!
Mike Ditka: [team is doing push-ups] If you guys were the Bears, I'd fine you $10,000 apiece.
Phil Weston: [to Barbara] My dad, he's a coach. He knows the game, he's confident, he's smart, witty, dynamic, vicious, brutal, vindictive, a monster! And he will win by intimidation and forceful tactics if need be. I'm not like that. I don't know anyone like that. Do you?
[quick cut to Ditka house]
Mike Ditka: So Paul, what's on your mind?
Phil Weston: Actually, it's Phil.
Mike Ditka: It's not Paul?
Phil Weston: No.
Mike Ditka: What's the difference? Spit it out.
[lights a cigar]
Diana Ditka: Mike?
Mike Ditka: Here, hold this.
[gives cigar to Phil]
Diana Ditka: Oh no! We do not allow smoking in the house!
Phil Weston: I'm sorry, Mrs. Ditka.
Diana Ditka: You should be.
Mike Ditka: [Phil hands back cigar] I'll get rid of it, honey!
Phil Weston: Looks who's here! I'll give you a hint - Hall of Fame, Chicago Bears...
Mark Avery: Sammy Sosa?
Mike Ditka: C'mon!
Phil Weston: Football... coached the 1986...
Mike Ditka: '85.
Phil Weston: Right, '85 Bears to Superbowl victory... it's Mike Ditka!
Mark Avery: Do you know Sammy Sosa?
Mike Ditka: Hey, zip it, kid!
The Tigers: [winning team, shouting] Two, four, six, eight! Who do we appreciate?
Mike Ditka: Shut up, ya little rats!
Phil Weston: They're just showing their appreciation.
Mike Ditka: I don't care about appreciation, I just want to win a soccer game.
[throws down his clipboard and walks off]
Phil Weston: [picks it up] Can I have this?
Phil Weston: Sure.
Phil Weston: Alllllright!
Mike Ditka: Did you just kick your son?
Phil Weston: Yeah.
Mike Ditka: New game plan - pass the ball to the EYEtalians!
Phil Weston: This is Gian Piero and Massimo. They're apprentice butchers.
Mark Avery: Could the blacksmiths and candlestick makers not make it?
Mike Ditka: Shut up!
Ann Hogan: Coach Ditka? Hi. Our son, Byong Sun, he's very shy, and we were wondering
[hands him a pad to autograph]
Mike Ditka: Sure, 'be happy to.
Ann Hogan: Thank you so much. It's Byong Sun
Ann Hogan: B-Y...
Mike Ditka: [autographing] I think I got it.
[hands it back to them]
Mike Ditka: Bye bye.
Mike Ditka: [to Phil, awkwardly] Just... a wonderful couple.
Ann Hogan: [looking at the autograph] What...
Donna Jones: "Bing Bong"?
Mike Ditka: I eat quitters for breakfast and spit out their bones.
Mike Ditka: Every good thing starts with a Brat!
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