Mike Ditka Quotes in Kicking & Screaming (2005)


Mike Ditka Quotes:

  • Ann Hogan: Hi, Mr.Ditka. I was wondering - my son byong-sun is a little shy, so could I get an autograph?

    Mike Ditka: Yeah, sure, how do you spell it?

    Ann Hogan: B-Y-...

    Mike Ditka: I think I got it.

    [gives paper]

    Donna Jones: [walking away looking at autograph] Bing-bong?

  • Mike Ditka: Coffee is the lifeblood that fuels the dreams of champions.

  • Phil Weston: You're my assistant. You're supposed to back me up and go get me juiceboxes whenever I want. Now go get me a juicebox!


    Phil Weston: I'm talkin' to the juicebox guy!

    Mike Ditka: You're crazy!

    Phil Weston: I'm not crazy, I'm just thirsty!

    Mike Ditka: OH, YOU GO TO HELL!

    Phil Weston: No, you go to hell, and while you're there, why don't you grab me a juicebox!

  • Mike Ditka: [to the Tigers team] Now this is gonna be the hardest, most difficult thing you ever attempted in your entire life. But you know what, when it's over...

    Phil Weston: Don't get emotional...

    Mike Ditka: When it's over...

    Phil Weston: When it's over...

    Mike Ditka: You guys are gonna be champions! My God, you're going to be champions!

    Phil Weston: Champions!

    Mike Ditka: Now let's get out there and kick some butt!

    Phil Weston: On three, 'let's have fun'.

    The Tigers: [all chant] One, two, three, Let's have fun!

    Mike Ditka: [to Phil, mocking] 'Let's have fun,' what's THAT?

  • Buck Weston: Oh, this oughtta be good. If we live long enough, we'll see Iron Mike and Aluminum Phil coaching the Tigers.

    Mike Ditka: I couldn't really hear ya, Weston. My Superbowl ring was making too much noise.

    [crowd hisses]

  • Mike Ditka: Way to go, Bing Bong!

  • Mike Ditka: [team is doing push-ups] If you guys were the Bears, I'd fine you $10,000 apiece.

  • Phil Weston: [to Barbara] My dad, he's a coach. He knows the game, he's confident, he's smart, witty, dynamic, vicious, brutal, vindictive, a monster! And he will win by intimidation and forceful tactics if need be. I'm not like that. I don't know anyone like that. Do you?

    [quick cut to Ditka house]

    Mike Ditka: So Paul, what's on your mind?

    Phil Weston: Actually, it's Phil.

    Mike Ditka: It's not Paul?

    Phil Weston: No.

    Mike Ditka: What's the difference? Spit it out.

    [lights a cigar]

    Diana Ditka: Mike?

    Mike Ditka: Here, hold this.

    [gives cigar to Phil]

    Diana Ditka: Oh no! We do not allow smoking in the house!

    Phil Weston: I'm sorry, Mrs. Ditka.

    Diana Ditka: You should be.

    Mike Ditka: [Phil hands back cigar] I'll get rid of it, honey!

  • Phil Weston: Looks who's here! I'll give you a hint - Hall of Fame, Chicago Bears...

    Mark Avery: Sammy Sosa?

    Mike Ditka: C'mon!

    Phil Weston: Football... coached the 1986...

    Mike Ditka: '85.

    Phil Weston: Right, '85 Bears to Superbowl victory... it's Mike Ditka!

    Mark Avery: Do you know Sammy Sosa?

    Mike Ditka: Hey, zip it, kid!

  • The Tigers: [winning team, shouting] Two, four, six, eight! Who do we appreciate?

    Mike Ditka: Shut up, ya little rats!

    Phil Weston: They're just showing their appreciation.

    Mike Ditka: I don't care about appreciation, I just want to win a soccer game.

    [throws down his clipboard and walks off]

    Phil Weston: [picks it up] Can I have this?

    Phil Weston: Sure.

    Phil Weston: Alllllright!

  • Mike Ditka: Did you just kick your son?

    Phil Weston: Yeah.

  • Mike Ditka: New game plan - pass the ball to the EYEtalians!

  • Phil Weston: This is Gian Piero and Massimo. They're apprentice butchers.

    Mark Avery: Could the blacksmiths and candlestick makers not make it?

    Mike Ditka: Shut up!

  • Ann Hogan: Coach Ditka? Hi. Our son, Byong Sun, he's very shy, and we were wondering

    [hands him a pad to autograph]

    Mike Ditka: Sure, 'be happy to.

    Ann Hogan: Thank you so much. It's Byong Sun


    Ann Hogan: B-Y...

    Mike Ditka: [autographing] I think I got it.

    [hands it back to them]

    Mike Ditka: Bye bye.

    Mike Ditka: [to Phil, awkwardly] Just... a wonderful couple.

    Ann Hogan: [looking at the autograph] What...

    Donna Jones: "Bing Bong"?

  • Mike Ditka: I eat quitters for breakfast and spit out their bones.

  • Mike Ditka: Every good thing starts with a Brat!

Browse more character quotes from Kicking & Screaming (2005)