Miguel Quotes in The Magnificent Seven (1960)

[O'Reilly is teaching the villagers how to shoot]

O'Reilly: Miguel, didn't I tell you to squeeze? Hm? Just like when you're milking a goat, Miguel.

Miguel: It's that I get excited!

O'Reilly: Well don't get excited! Now this time squeeze. Slowly, but squeeze. All right now, squeeze.

[Miguel shoots]

O'Reilly: *Squeeze*! I'll tell you what. Don't shoot the gun. Take the gun like this, and you use it like a club, all right?

Leon Alastray: Thanks for the mule, old man. But remember: you won't see me again. Not in San Sebastian.

Miguel: Perhaps in Heaven?

Leon Alastray: I promise: NOT in Heaven!

[laughing]

Chel: Oh, then I suppose you'll be wanting these back?

[produces dice in her hand]

Tulio: [pats pockets, shocked] Hey... how'd you get those?

Miguel: [raising eyebrows] WHERE was she KEEPING them?

Miguel: You fight like my sister!

Tulio: I've fought your sister. That's a compliment.

Miguel: Look! El Dorado! The city of gold! This could be our destiny! Our fate!

Tulio: Miguel, if I believed in fate, I wouldn't be playing with loaded dice.

[Miguel and Tulio are stranded in the boat, together with Altivo]

Miguel: Tulio, did you ever imagine it would end like this?

Tulio: The horse is a surprise...

Miguel: Any... regrets?

Tulio: You mean besides dying? Yeah. I never... had enough... gold.

Miguel: My regret, besides dying is... our greatest adventure is over before it began, and no one will even remember us.

Tulio: Well, if it's any consolation, Miguel, you... made my life... an adventure.

Miguel: And if it's any consolation, Tulio, you made my life... rich.

[Tzekel-Kan is about to perform a human sacrifice]

Tulio: [in an undertone to Miguel] I don't like this.

Miguel: Tulio, we've got to do something!

[Tzekel-Kan raises his axe]

Tulio: Stop! This is not a proper tribute!

[Miguel catches the intended victim and drags him away from the cliff edge]

Tzekel-Kan: [confused] You do not want the tribute?

Miguel: No no, we want tribute, it's just that, um... Tulio, tell him.

Tulio: The stars are not in position for this tribute!

Miguel: Like he said! Stars!... Can't do it... Not today.

Tuilo: All right. Here's the plan. In the dead of night, you and I grab some provisions, hijack one of those... one of those longboats... and then, we... row back to Spain like there's no mañana!

Miguel: [pauses] Back to Spain, yeah?

Tuilo: Yeah.

Miguel: [uncertainly] In... a rowboat.

Tuilo: Yeah!

Miguel: [sarcastically] Great. Sensational. That's your plan, is it?

Tuilo: That's... pretty much it, yeah.

Miguel: [delighted] Well, I like it! So, how do we get on deck?

Tuilo: [pauses, deep breath] In the dead of night, you and I grab some provisions, hijack one of those... longboats...

Miguel: Altivo! Hey, Altivo! You want the nice apple? Come and get it! But, you have to do a trick for me first! All you have to do, is find a pry bar. It's a long piece of metal with a hooky thing at the end.

Tulio: Miguel, you're talking to a horse!

Miguel: Yes, that's it Altivo. Find the pry bar!

Tulio: Yes, "find the pry bar". He doesn't understand "pry bar"! He's a dumb horse, there's no way he could understand...

[Altivo drops keys into the brig]

Tulio: Well... it's *not* a pry bar.

Cortes: My crew was chosen as carefully as the Disciples of Christ, and I will not tolerate stowaways. You will be flogged. And when we put in to Cuba to resupply, *God willing*, you will be flogged some more. And then enslaved on the sugar plantations for the rest of your miserable lives. To the brig!

Miguel: All right! Cuba.

Tulio: The little voice, remember? Just imagine for a moment that you have one. Now, what would it be saying about Chel?

Miguel: Um...

[purrs]

Miguel: I am Miguel.

Tulio: And I am Tulio.

[They dismount, Miguel's foot gets tangled in the reins]

Miguel: And they call us Miguel and Tulio!

Miguel: Pff! What makes you think we need your help?

Chel: [imitating Miguel] Kkh Kkh! Are you serious?

[Altivo the horse starts laughing]

Miguel: Tulio! Tulio, we've done it!

Tulio: Is that the map?

Miguel: It's all right here!

Tulio: You *still* have the *map*?

Miguel: The whistling rock! The stream!

Tulio: You kept the map but you couldn't manage to grab a little more FOOD?

Miguel: Even those mountains! You said it yourself, it could be possible, and it is! It really *is* the map to El Dorado!

[pause]

Tulio: You drank sea water, didn't you?

Miguel: We'll follow that trail!

Tulio: What trail?

Miguel: [chopping at vines with sword] The trail that we blaze!

[the vines fall down revealing a solid wall of rock; long pause]

Miguel: [pointing] THAT trail that we blaze...

Tulio: Any last words?

Miguel: I will cut you to ribbons!

Tulio: Fool! Such mediocrity! Let your *sword* do the talking!

Miguel: I will, it will be loquacious to a fault!

Tulio: Miguel and Tulio!

Miguel: Tulio and Miguel!

[Together]

Miguel: Mighty and powerful Gods!

Chel: Hello.

[both squeal]

Tulio: What's happening here?

Miguel: We're both in barrels. That's the extent of my knowledge.

Tzekel-Kan: I know what you are, and I know what you are not. And you are *not* Gods!

Tulio: You're not a God? You lied to me? How dare you!

Miguel: [to Tzekel-Kan] Hey, it was *his* stupid plan!

Tulio: *My* plan was that we should *lie low*! But *your* plan was to run off! And be all, "Oh, look at me, look at me, I'm a God!"

Miguel: That's not true!

Tulio: No? Who are you kidding? You're buying your own con!

Miguel: At least I'm not *dating* mine!

Tulio: I...! Oo, low blow. Listen, mister high-and-mighty, we'd both be sailing out of here with a mountain of gold if you had *just listened* to me!

Miguel: Well, now you have all the precious gold *and* Chel! So what do you need *me* for?

[pushes Tulio]

Tulio: [pushing back] Well, maybe I *don't* need you anymore!

Miguel: Fine! So why don't you just *go* back to Spain, and I'll stay here, and we'll *both* get what *we* want!

Tulio: That's fine with me, pal!

Miguel: *Fine* with me too!

Tulio: Fine!

Tulio, Miguel: All RIGHT!

[they both punch Tzekel-kan]

Tulio: [sighs] Well, it was nice working with you, partner.

Miguel: Tulio, I just want you to know... I'm sorry about that girl in Barcelona.

Tulio: Miguel wake up. We found it!

Miguel: We did? Where?

Tulio: Here.

Miguel: What, behind the rock?

Tulio: Nope, here.

Miguel: But, but... *give* me that!

[snatches the map from Tulio's hands]

Miguel: I... this... can't be...

Tulio: Apparently, "El Dorado" is native for... GREAT... BIG... ROCK!

[echo: Rock... rock... rock... ]

Tulio: But I'll tell you what: I'm feeling generous today, so *you* can have *my* share!

Miguel: You don't think that... that Cortes could've gotten here before us and... and...

Tulio: And what? Taken all the *really* big rocks? The SCOUNDREL!

Miguel: Tulio! We... we've got to think about this, I... I mean we come all this way and...

Tulio: Get... on... the horse!

[Miguel sighs and makes a pitiful face]

Tulio: No, no, no, not with the face. Stop.

Chel: Hello...

Tulio: Get back mortal!

Miguel: Beware the wrath of the Gods! Be Gone! Kkh kkh!

Tulio: Back mortal, before we strike you with a lightning bolt!

Chel: [calmly] Save it for the High Priest, honey, you're gonna need it.

Miguel: You don't think... Cortes could have got here before us and...

Tulio: And what? Taken all the *really* big rocks? The scoundrel!

[Tulio is banging his head against the wall in the brig]

Miguel: So how's the, uh... how's the escape plan coming?

[Tulio stops banging his head]

Tulio: Wait! I'm getting something!

[pauses, then goes back to banging his head on the wall]

[after seeing a skeleton on the beach]

Tulio: All in favor of getting back in the boat, say aye.

Miguel: Aye!

Tulio: Look, change of plans. We have to grab what we can and go.

Miguel: What? Why?

Tulio: Because the High Priest is NUTS!

Miguel: Tulio, you worry too much.

Tulio: No, I worry exactly the right amount. You can never worry too much!

Tulio: Wait a minute, new plan: we find the city of gold, we *take* the gold, and THEN we row back to Spain!

Miguel: And buy Spain!

Miguel: [trying to make up an excuse why the ship needs to be redone] I have BEEN around boats, believe me! And that, uhm, the... pointy, tall... uhm... the long up and down thingy...

Chief: The mast?

Chel: Go ahead, I'll cover for you.

Miguel: Oh, good! Thanks.

[Tries to step outside without Tulio noticing]

Miguel: So, what happened to Altivo?

Chel: I don't know.

[Miguel takes off. Tulio walks past Chel singing]

Tulio: ...Hey. What happened to Miguel?

Chel: I don't know.

Tulio: Oh my God! He's gone! Miguel's gone, he's loose! What am I gonna do!

[throws himself on the couch]

Tulio: Ah, oh-ho no, no!

[sobs]

[Tulio, Miguel and Altivo have finally, after much effort, all gotten into the rowboat and avoided getting run over by any of the ships]

Tulio: Did any of the supplies make it?

Miguel: Um, well, yes and no.

[Tulio looks: Altivo is eating the few supplies that did make it]

Tulio: Oh, great!

Miguel: Hey, Tulio, look on the positive side: at least things can't get...

[a thunder clap. It starts pouring rain]

Tulio: Excuse me, were you about to say "worse"?

Miguel: No.

Tulio: No? You're sure?

Miguel: Definitely not, I'm going to revise that whole thing.

Tulio: Yeah. We are at least in a rowboat.

Miguel: We are in a rowboat.

[the boat drifts away to reveal the sharks following it]

Cortes: My crew was as carefully chosen as the disciples of Christ, and I will not tolerate stowaways. You will be flogged, and when we put into Cuba to resupply, God willing you will be flogged some more. And then enslaved on the sugar plantations for the rest of your miserable lives. To the brig.

Miguel: Alright! Cuba!

Tulio: What is the object of this game *pray tell*?

Chel: You gotta knock the ball through the hoop.

Miguel: What hoop?

Chel: *That* hoop.

Miguel: Oh, come on!

Tulio: I'm not coming on!

Miguel: [quietly, obviously hurting, to himself] Forget Miguel? Well... forget Tulio.

Miguel: Under British law, singing badly is not a crime.

Delgardo: [singing] Show me no mercy, give me no bail! I'm ready and willing to go to jail!

Garfield: Right now!

Baxter Thwaites: I'm not going to send you to jail for two reasons: first, I refuse to make a martyr of you, and second, it is still being redecorated.

Miguel: I can't get the paint, boss!

Miguel: I'll talk to you. You're a reasonable man: your friend is a barbarian.

Felix Bowers: Tony. You gonna sit here and hear your friend called a barbarian?

Tony: Miguel, I forbid you to call this barbarian a barbarian.

Felix Bowers: [nods] You're a true friend.

Miguel: [on assurance that a smuggling job's been completed] A friend left this, uh, note for you.

Felix Bowers: [flipping through the money in the envelope] Our friend didn't have very much to say, did he?

Miguel: What do you mean by that?

Felix Bowers: I mean he wasn't very generous, was he?

Miguel: There are many expenses; you know that as well as I do. Palms to be greased and people paid to turn the other way. It's getting harder every day.

Felix Bowers: Well, you tell that friend if he can't be a little more communicative, that this is the last trip.

Miguel: If you ask me, relatives are a bit like eggnog. Never around til Christmas and then suddenly it's everywhere.

Miguel: We're not "Amigos", NEGRO!

Edward Robinson: Let's send the brown man back across the border.

Miguel: We didn't cross the border, the border crossed us.

Miguel: [to Vincent] You drive us all the way to the end of the earth... for a fuckin' stiff?

Vincent Prather: You're a smart boy, Miguel. Because of that I'm gonna let you have some of what we find.

Miguel: Ah! Remember that you said that.

Vincent Prather: I will. I'm gonna let it have some of you, too.

Miguel: [back home after being given in adoption to a pedophiliac dentist] At first it was fun, but I am too young to be tied down.

Miguel: Tomorrow we're going to get rid of a very, very bad person.

John J.: [Muttering inaudibly] All right. OK.

Miguel: This country's going to be a better country because of it.

John J.: Whether that guy's rotten to the core should make a difference, but it doesn't. My job doesn't depend on a list of character references. My job is my job, and that's it. Tomorrow evening I intend to do my job.

Miguel: Will thinks you guys are on pills. Figuratively.

David: You think we're crazy?

Will: I-I never said that.

David: It's okay, I'm not offended. A lot of people think we're crazy. But I doubt they're as happy as we are.

[last lines]

Roy: [in Spanish] This fence has been pushed over, cut, stepped on... I'm tired of repairing it. But I'm not taking it down.

Roy: Here's what I propose. I will pay you for your time and materials, if you repair the fence on a regular basis. You can do the work from your side of the fence. You're going to need to purchase some materials. Here's money to get you started. We'll meet here every Thursday around the same time, and we can speak about what sections need to be repaired. Okay? Okay.

Roy: You can go ahead and cross back through here. Your father-in-law will pick you up down the road.

Miguel: [speechless]

Roy: That's my horse. So you go ahead.

Miguel: [dismounts]

Roy: So I'll see you next Thursday?

Miguel: [yes]

Roy: Okay...

Miguel: Thank you very much.

Roy: You're welcome, Miguel... Goodbye... Good luck.

Miguel: Meeting people you admire is the first step towards not admiring them any more. You can only admire bodies and dead people. What's inside is dirty, rotten, untidy. It's better no to go in.

Miguel: Life is the perfect way to sabotage a dream.

Miguel: I can only talk about myself, even when I'm taking about other people.

Miguel: Wow! I thought the ones you screwed always held a grudge, but I see you have to watch out for the ones you don't screw as well.

Miguel: The Spanish drink to loosen up. The British to kill themselves.

Miguel: When you write in the papers every day for 25 years, you don't even get along with your shadow. People put up with you, period.

Miguel: I'm a dead body washed up on the beach.

Miguel: That's what gets me about this country. We went from a grotesque tragedy to an American TV series. Like 'Eight is Enough' or something. From Goya to Norman Rockwell.

Miguel: One day, after Catholic school, walking along the dock, he sees a beautiful girl walking in the water with her skirt pulled up, and it's like an illumination. An illumination that leads him to choose life and art above everything else. Even if life is disorder and art is suffering.

Miguel: The worst part is everyone will imagine what we did here all this time, and we won't be able to tell the truth because it's too ridiculous.

Miguel: They say sexual desire makes your beard grow faster. And fear.

Miguel: You crossed the cafe like a gazelle, totally out of place among all this vulgarity.

Miguel: I can't love you. It's not right.

Miguel: [referring to Matsuji] Do I have to be HIS age before I can afford a bride like her?

Walter, Leader of the Outlaws: [after Miguel has shot an bounty killer] C'mon. It's safe now.

[the outlaws come out of hiding]

Walter, Leader of the Outlaws: You're all afraid of these confounded bounty killers, even if they're dead?

[to Silence, who he hands some money to]

Walter, Leader of the Outlaws: Silence, you bagged them polecats just in time. Take this, you earned it. Y'know, we're obliged to come down for food, and they're always laying for us in the valley. They know we can't hold out for long in this weather without supplies. Still, if we fought for our rights, they'd raise the price on our heads, and we'd be massacred.

Miguel: You could at least thank me for my trouble. Didn't you see he was about to fire?

[Silence rides off]

Walter, Leader of the Outlaws: All you did was waste a good shot, I'd say. Why, that fella there had both his thumbs shot off; he never would have fired another pistol as long as he lived. That's why Silence didn't wanna shoot him. Because when he shoots anyone, it's always in self-defense - that's right. And them bounty killers are afraid of him. He's faster on the draw!

Miguel: But why do we pay a professional fighter? We all been in the army, so let's fight back, then! I say we should fight it out with those bounty killers - once and for all! I'll be damned if I'm freezing to death up here!

Outlaw: He's right!

[outlaws argue]

Walter, Leader of the Outlaws: Now listen here - I say we're all better off staying right where we are. The price on our heads, sooner or later, will be removed. They say the new Governor will declare an amnesty, and we'll be able to think as we want. Now, we don't want to spoil our chances.

Miguel: I can't take it no more... I'm going back. I'd rather be taken alive... so, turn myself in. It's better.

[hands his shotgun to Walter]

Miguel: Sorry, Walter.

[walks away from the group]

Outlaw: Hey, wait. I'm coming too.

[follows Miguel]

James Middleton: I wanna see my wife.

[follows]

Outlaw: [to Walter] I reckon they'll be in jail when the pardons come.

Walter, Leader of the Outlaws: Or the graveyard...

Thurston: You get a job?

Miguel: I got the best job - everybody else does the work; I get the money.

Thurston: You know, five of our trucks were hijacked and the boys think that you did it. Now where'd you hide the cattle?

Miguel: Aw, them boys aren't thinking that I-I, Miguel... Ah, I got him. They must have confused me with my brother, Juan. He would steal your cattle. He's the kind of fellow that would shoot you! Of course, he would apologize later...

Miguel: You know, we're in the same business. You steal the cattle, I steal from you. Of course, I get the money - that's the difference.

Thurston: Alright, I'll give you 50 per cent.

Miguel: Fifty? One half - for Miguel won't work for less!