Mickey Finn Quotes in Way Out West (1937)
Mickey Finn Quotes:
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Patron: Hey Finn, you're a lucky man to have a swell gal like that.
Mickey Finn: Yeah I... What are you talking about? She's the lucky one to have a swell guy like me!
-- Mickey Finn -
Lola Marcel: [shows Finn the deed] Ha - *ha*!
Mickey Finn: Ho - *ho*!
Ollie: [grabs the deed] He - *he*!
-- Mickey Finn -
Mickey Finn: I'm Mary's legal guardian. What do you want to see her for?
Ollie: [smiling and shutting his eyes in his famous charming disarming way] Well, sir, we aren't supposed to talk about that to anyone else.
Stan: [attempting to speak in a serious, slightly self-important tone, but obviously just blabbing away carelessly] Yeah, you see, it's PRIVATE. Her father died and left her a gold mine, and we're not supposed tell it to anyone but her, right Ollie?
Ollie: [looking disgusted at Stan's stupidity] Now that he's taken you into our CONFIDENCE...
[gives Stan an annoyed shove]
Ollie: You might as well know the rest!
-- Mickey Finn -
Mickey Finn: Can you do it?
Lola Marcel: [scoffs] Can I do it? For a gold mine, I could be Cleopatra!
-- Mickey Finn -
Mickey Finn: [enters room] Lola, Lola, we've got a fortune right in the palm of our hand!
Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale: What do you mean?
Mickey Finn: There's a couple of desert rats downstairs looking for Mary Roberts.
Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale: What about it?
Mickey Finn: They've got a deed to a very valuable gold mine left to her by her father, and they're here to deliver it to her in person.
Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale: Well, ain't that just grand!
Mickey Finn: It would be... if you were Mary Roberts.
Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale: I gotcha, but I'd never get away with it.
Mickey Finn: Sure you would; they've never seen Mary Roberts.
Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale: Then it's a cinch!
-- Mickey Finn -
Mickey Finn: [from the staircase] Hey! If you come upstairs, I'll introduce you to Mary Roberts.
Oliver: Right away, sir.
Mary Roberts: [enters from the kitchen] Did you call me, Mr. Finn?
Mickey Finn: [runs down the stairs] Ohhh! Get back into the kitchen where you belong! Go ahead now, don't bother me!
[goes up the stairs to his residence]
Mickey Finn: This way gentlemen, come right this way.
[stumbles on the staircase]
-- Mickey Finn -
Mickey Finn: [the real Mary knocks at the door] Who's there?
Mary Roberts: Mary.
Stan: Mary who?
Mickey Finn: [nervously] Mary - Merry Christmas. Ohhh...
[opens the door]
Mary Roberts: Excuse me, Mr. Finn, one of these gentlemen dropped this at the foot of the stairs.
Ollie: [takes the deed from her hands, not recognizing her as the real Mary] Oh, oh why thank you, little lady, you don't know what you've done, thanks!
Mickey Finn: [shows Mary out of the room, closing the door] All right, all right, all right.
Ollie: [hands the deed to Lola, unaware that she's pretending to be Mary] There you are: signed, sealed, and now delivered.
Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale: Oh, thank you so much.
Ollie: Not at all.
[Mickey Finn utters a sigh of exhausted relief]
Ollie: Come Stanley, we'd better be going.
Stan: Oh say, what about the locket?
Ollie: That's right I...
Stan: We've got something else for you.
Ollie: I almost forgot it.
[puts on his derby and loosens his necktie]
Ollie: And besides that...
[unbuttons his shirt and takes out the locket]
Ollie: your father left you this family heirloom.
Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale: Oh yes, I - I remember it well.
Ollie: Help me get it off, Stanley.
[Ollie loosens his collar while Stan tries to take the locket chain off of Ollie's neck by pulling it up around his chin]
Stan: Am I hurting you?
Ollie: No, just a minute.
Stan: Won't be long.
[Stan tries again to take the chain off of Ollie]
Stan: Maybe I'd better try and open it again.
Ollie: I think so.
[Stan loosens Ollie's collar to get to the clasp]
Stan: It slipped.
[Stan unbuttons Ollie's shirt]
Stan: Maybe you'd better take your coat off.
Ollie: [starts to take off his coat] Pardon me just a minute.
[Stan removes Ollie's necktie and collar; Ollie takes his suspenders off and the locket falls down his trousers leg to the floor]
Ollie: [Stan reaches up Ollie's back and finds a thread, Ollie breaks the thread and discovers an unraveled undergarment] We'll find it in just a moment.
[Ollie takes off his shirt, and Stan notices the locket on the floor and picks it up]
Ollie: We got it.
[Stan hands the locket to Lola]
Ollie: I'm gonna go in and change, pardon us.
[Ollie goes into the bedroom to put his clothes back on, and Stan follows]
-- Mickey Finn -
Stan: [Ollie lays his clothes on the bed, Stan sits down] Say Ollie?
Oliver: What?
Stan: Now that you've got your clothes off, why don't you take a bath?,
Oliver: Would you mind leaving the room? Can't I ever have a little privacy?
Stan: I was just trying to kill two birds with one stone.
Mickey Finn: [in the living room] And I'll take care of those two bozos and get them out of town.
Lola Marcel: [Stan opens the door and overhears Lola talking to Mickey] Don't worry, leave everything to me. I've done pretty good up to now, haven't I?
Stan: You certainly have, I wish you were in my shoes.
Mickey Finn: Eh-hrm, oh how about a drink on the house?
Oliver: That suits me fine.
Stan: How'd you get dressed so quick?
Oliver: None of your business.
[Finn goes to open his front door]
Oliver: Goodbye Miss Roberts, and thanks for the use of your boudoir.
Lola Marcel: You're very welcome.
Stan: Goodbye. Now that you've got the mine, I bet you'll be a swell gold-digger.
[Ollie pushes Stan out the door as Finn leaves the room]
Lola Marcel: [Lola examines the deed as Finn re-enters the room a moment later, hiding the deed behind her back] What did you leave them for?
Mickey Finn: I'll send her right up, you have her sign that deed over to us.
Lola Marcel: Oh, don't worry about me, get those guys out of town, and pronto!
Mickey Finn: All right!
[Finn goes down to the saloon]
Lola Marcel: What a cinch!
-- Mickey Finn -
Stan: [Ollie knocks on Mickey Finn's door] Who's there?
Ollie: Me.
Stan: Me, who?
Ollie: [annoyed at Stan's response] "Me, who?"
[Mickey Finn goes to the door, Ollie knocks on his head]
Mickey Finn: Well - What do you want?
Ollie: Out of my way, you snake in the grass!
[Ollie brushes Finn aside]
Stan: You toad in the hole.
[Stan yanks Finn's necktie, Finn kicks Stan in retaliation]
Lola Marcel: Say you slugs, what do you mean busting in here like this?
Stan: We want to know why you are not Mary Roberts.
Ollie: I'll take care of this matter.
Lola Marcel: So you got wise, huh? Well, if it's this deed you're after, you're just out of luck.
[Ollie grabs the deed from Lola, and a chase ensues]
Lola Marcel: Give that back to me!
Ollie: Take it, Stan!
[Ollie pursues Mickey Finn]
Ollie: Beat it!
-- Mickey Finn -
Mickey Finn: [holding a pistol] Now, get out of here!
[knock on the door]
Mickey Finn: Who's there?
Sheriff: The sheriff.
Ollie: Just in the nick of time! Now we'll get justice! Come in, Sheriff, you're just the man I'm looking for!
Sheriff: And you're just the man I'm looking for.
Ollie: Oh thank you, this man -
[Ollie recognizes the Sheriff whose wife was pestered by Stan and Ollie in the stagecoach]
Ollie: Ohhh!
[Stan laughs hysterically]
Sheriff: [Ollie taps Stan on the shoulder, he stops laughing] I thought I told you two dudes to catch the next coach out of town.
Ollie: [meekly] Yes, sir.
Sheriff: Well, it left ten minutes ago.
Ollie: It did? Well, maybe we'd better try and catch it.
Sheriff: Well, I'd say you'd better!
[the Sheriff fires his guns, chasing Stan and Ollie out of town]
Sheriff: Look at 'em go!
Mickey Finn: Ha, you can't see 'em for dust!
[Sheriff laughs]
-- Mickey Finn -
Mickey Finn: [crowd chants "We want Lola! We want Lola! We want Lola!"] And now gentlemen, it has always been my aim to give you the best entertainment that money can buy. I have brought here at great expense...
Patron: Aw, get a piece of fat and slide off!
Mickey Finn: Who said that?
[a customer fires a gun and the shot blows Finn's top hat from his head, laughter and a scream are heard]
Mickey Finn: All right, you'll get Lola!
-- Mickey Finn -
Mickey Finn: Splendid. Splendid!
Lola Marcel, the Singing Nightingale: She fell for it, like you fell for me.
Mickey Finn: Lola, my gal, we're sittin' pretty.
-- Mickey Finn -
[Finn pushes the $1 key on the cash register and .10 shows up, he opens the cash register case to examine it, and .10 appears when he presses the $1 key again]
[first lines]
Mickey Finn: Hey, this thing ain't workin' right.
Bartender: It's working all right for me.
[Finn does a double take]
-- Mickey Finn
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