Michelle Rubin Quotes in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003)

Ben: Look, look, look, wait a minute. The one night we even thought about having sex, all right, she up and decides she's going to nickname my...

Michelle Rubin: Penis?

Ben: Yeah. "Princess Sophia." You want to talk about shooting a man's horse? Whop! Come on!

Ben: Excuse me, ma'am.

Jeannie Ashcroft: Holy crap!

Ben: Where's Andie Anderson?

Jeannie Ashcroft: Uh, she's not here.

Ben: Where is she?

Michelle Rubin: She quit.

Jeannie Ashcroft: She's got an interview in Washington.

Ben: When is she leaving?

Jeannie Ashcroft: Today.

Ben: When?

Jeannie Ashcroft: Well, like, now.

Ben: You're not a therapist, are you?

Michelle Rubin: Oh, haha... no.

Ben: Good job, though. You owe me three hundred bucks.

Michelle Rubin: So, tell me, how long have you guys been seeing each other?

Andie: Seven days.

Michelle Rubin: Seven days. Interesting.

Ben: Is that too soon to be seeing a therapist?

Andie: Well, Ben, seven days isn't like a lifetime, or anything...

Ben: It's like a week.

Michelle Rubin: Oh, you are never going to pull this off.

Andie: Watch me. Tonight, I'll hook a guy. Tomorrow, pull the switch. Before the ten days are up, I'm going to have this guy running for his life.

Jeannie Ashcroft: You're not going to burn his apartment down or bite him, or anything?

Andie: No! I'm going to limit myself to doing everything girls do wrong in relationships. Basically, everything we know guys hate. I'll be clingy, needy...

Jeannie Ashcroft: Be touchy-feely.

Andie: Yeah.

Jeannie Ashcroft: Ooh, call him in the middle of the night and tell him everything you had to eat that day.

Michelle Rubin: What's wrong with that?

[Andie & Jeanie stare at Michelle]

Michelle Rubin: I'm kidding.

Michelle Rubin: Why this place?

Jeannie Ashcroft: It's perfect. Hi, Ingrid.

Mullen's Hostess: Hi.

Jeannie Ashcroft: Mullen's is the apres-work watering hole for the upwardly mobile.

Andie: Why do they always forget my bacon?

Jeannie Ashcroft: I can't believe you got that guy knocked out.

Andie: Only for a few seconds.

Lana Jong: Andie, I am loving your notes on this piece.

Andie: [with her mouth full] Thank you, Lana.

Lana Jong: When are you seeing him again?

Andie: Tonight. He's inviting me over to his house for dinner.

Lana Jong: Excellent! I've got a feeling about this one.

Michelle Rubin: I hate it when she pops her head in like that.

Andie: I never noticed it.

Lana Jong: A-hem. I heard that. And Andie, tonight take smaller bites.

Andie: Thank you, Lana.

Michelle Rubin: Oh, my God!

Jeannie Ashcroft: Disgusting! I can barely eat over here.

[Andie takes an even bigger bite]