Michael Jordan Quotes in Space Jam (1996)

Bill Murray: It's 'cause I'm white, isn't it?

Michael Jordan: No. Larry's white, so what?

Bill Murray: Larry's not white. Larry's clear.

Michael Jordan: What's going on here?

Bugs: Why Michael! l thought you'd never ask! You see These aliens from outer space want to make us slaves in their theme park. They're little. So we challenged them to a basketball game. Eh, what do we care? They're little, so we challenge them to a basketball game! But then they show up and they ain't so little,

[shouts]

Bugs: they're huge! We need to beat these guys, 'cause They're talking about slavery! They'll make us do stand-up, the same jokes every night every night for all eternity! We're going to be locked up like wild animals and then trotted out to perform for a bunch of lowbrow, bug-eyed, bad-headed, humor-challenged aliens! Eh, what I'm trying to say is...

[shouts]

Bugs: we need your help!

Michael Jordan: Yeah, but I'm a baseball player now!

Bugs: Right.

[gets out rabbit skull]

Bugs: And I'm a Shakespearean actor.

Michael Jordan: Whatever you do, don't forget my North Carolina shorts.

Daffy Duck: Your shorts? From college?

Michael Jordan: I wore them under my Chicago Bulls uniform every game.

Looney Tunes: Eeewwww!

Michael Jordan: Hey! I washed them after every game!

Sylvester: Sure...

Michael Jordan: I did!

Bugs: You wanna play a little one on one, doll?

Lola Bunny: [angrily, with fire in her eyes] Doll?

Bugs: [with hearts over his head] Uh huh.

Lola Bunny: On the court, *Bugs*.

Bugs: Sure.

Tweety Bird: Ooo, she's hot.

[Touches his rear and steam appears with a hissing sound]

Lola Bunny: [starts dribbling] Ready?

Bugs: Yes.

[she gets past him]

Bugs: I got it, I got it!

[she spins around him, he winds up into a knot and she makes a basket]

Michael Jordan: The girl's got skills.

Bugs: [Lola comes over to him seductively] Yes?

Lola Bunny: Don't ever call me "doll".

[blows her ears out of her face]

Bugs: Check.

Lola Bunny: [as she is leaving] Nice playin' with ya.

Michael Jordan: Very smooth.

Bugs: Ahh, she's obviously nuts about me.

Michael Jordan: Obviously.

Bugs: Look at our facilities.

Daffy: We've got hoops!

Elmer Fudd: We've got weights!

Sylvester: We've got balls!

Michael Jordan: You sure do. This place is a mess.

Stan Podalak: Let me help! Let me help! I can help! I can help!

Michael Jordan: What can you do?

Stan Podalak: Well, I may not be very tall, but... I'm slow.

Sylvester: And large.

Daffy Duck: And a dork.

Michael Jordan: [after winning the game] Thanks guys, you got a lot of... a lot of... well, whatever it is, you got a lot of it.

[One of the Monstars hurts Tweety]

Michael Jordan: [to Tweety] Are you OK?

Monstar Blanko: Yeah, are you OK?

[the other Monstars gets angry at him]

Monstar Blanko: Oops!

[Stan prepares to take a picture of Michael after the hole in one]

Stan Podalak: Let me get a picture of this. All right, here we go, you want to smile. You reach in, you reach in for the ball and then you smile. OK?

Michael Jordan: Yes.

Stan Podalak: And you think this is good.

Michael Jordan: Just take the picture!

Stan Podalak: All right.

[a rope comes out of the hole and pulls Michael in]

Bill Murray: [after a pause] What kind of camera is that?

Stan Podalak: It's just a

Bill Murray: [interrupts] Would you not point it at me please and close the lens cap?

Stan Podalak: I didn't do anything! I just took...

Larry Bird: Where'd he go?

Michael Jordan: Let's do some drills.

Michael Jordan: Bugs?

Bugs: Yeah, Mike?

Michael Jordan: Stay out of trouble.

[he leaves]

Bugs: [to Lola] You know I will.

[Lola laughs]

Bugs: [grabbing her arms] Come here!

[he gives her a long kiss, she howls and then quickly changes to the next scene by pulling it down over them like a window shade]

Bill Murray: Okay, here's how I see it. Duck?

Daffy Duck: Yes.

Bill Murray: You kick it in to the girl bunny. Down in the post. Then you dish it back out to the guy bunny.

Lola Bunny: Got it.

Bill Murray: Swing it around to Mike, over here. You go to the hole and dominate!

Michael Jordan: Bill! We're on defense!

Bill Murray: Whoa ho ho! I don't play defense. Okay, you're gonna have to listen to Mike on this guys, listen up.

Michael Jordan: Okay, somebody steal the ball, give it to me, and I'll score before time runs out.

Bill Murray: Don't lose that confidence, okay, paws and wings in here, all right!

Jeffrey Jordan: Does everyone get mad at you?

Michael Jordan: No. Worse. Everyone's real nice about it.

Michael Jordan: Someone has to go to my house and pick up my basketball gear.

Daffy: To your house? In 3-D land?

Mr. Swackhammer: [after berating them for losing to the Looney Tunes] Alright, the party's over! Get in the spaceship!

Michael Jordan: [to the Monstars] Why are you taking from this guy?

Monstar Bupkus: Because he's bigger!

Monstar Pound: He's bigger?

Monstar Bang: Then, we *used* to be...

Mr. Swackhammer: [the Monstars realize they are now bigger than Swackhammer and look at him menacingly] What are you doing?

[They seize him and stuff him on a rocket and blasts it off into space to crash onto the Moon]

Michael Jordan: Had it in you all the time, didn't ya?

[the Monstars look embarrassed for a moment]

Michael Jordan: He got game.