Mercedes Harbont Quotes in Snakes on a Plane (2006)

Mercedes Harbont: Why don't we just take a picture?

Paul: Oh, sure, let's drop it off at Jiffy Photo when we land, Einstein.

Mercedes Harbont: Ever heard of e-mail, dick-wad?

Mercedes Harbont: [Comforting her dog, insulting the Englishman] Don't worry, Mary Kate. His hair plugs can't hurt you.

Mercedes Harbont: [to Three G's, about her dog] My doctor says she's bipolar.

Claire Miller: I'm sorry but first class is overbooked, but there is plenty of room to stretch out in coach which is only half-full.For the inconvenience we would like to offer you this travel voucher which is good on any date for any South Pacific Airlines flight.

Paul: Hmm, and this travel voucher won't help get me to my meeting on time, will it?

Claire Miller: Sir, I'm pretty sure that coach gets to Los Angeles about the same time that first class does.

Paul: Funny. Does my Senior Reward membership come with your sarcasm, or should I speak with your supervisor... Claire?

[walks into the plane]

Claire Miller: This had better be a matter of national security,

Mercedes Harbont: Did I just hear right that there's no first class?

Claire Miller: Yes, only coach.

Mercedes Harbont: Is it safe back there?

Tiffany: [after a pause] Yes, yes, it is totally safe there.