Mendez Quotes in Machete Kills (2013)


Mendez Quotes:

  • Machete: You're crazy.

    Mendez: With a capital C, muchacho.

  • Mendez: Special Agent Mendez.

    Machete: How many of you are there?

    Mendez: Sorry, that's classified.

  • Mendez: Vengeance never dies, it only changes targets.

  • Mendez: I got news for you, cabrón. Killing me ain't in the cards. 'Cause I'm the ticking, ticking, wrath of Mexico, motherfucker.

  • Mendez: Machete, this man is a dirty cop.

    Police Captain: Shut your fucking mouth! Shut up, loco!

    Mendez: You shouldn't have said that, amigo. Because if you call me loco, then I'm afraid loco is what you get!

  • Mr. Joshua: General, Mr. Mendez is here.

    McAllister: [turns around to greet Mendez] Ah, Mr. Mendez. How are you?

    Mendez: Hey, I'm fine.

    [motioning to Mr. Joshua]

    Mendez: Where the hell did you get him? Psychos 'R Us?

    McAllister: I don't think you're funny.

    Mendez: I don't think this whole goddamn setup's funny. You're using mercenaries, for chrissake, tell me I'm wrong.

    McAllister: No. You're not wrong.

    Mendez: And you expect me to trust these fuckin' bozos?

    McAllister: My people are loyal, Mr. Mendez. They are loyal to me.

    Mendez: Ohhh, bullshit...

    McAllister: Do you smoke?

    Mendez: What the hell does that got to do with anything, do I smoke...

    McAllister: Do you smoke?

    Mendez: Yeah.

    McAllister: Give me your lighter.

    Mendez: My... my lighter?

    McAllister: Your lighter!

    Mendez: Yeah, okay right here... here, take it...

    [thugs grab his arm, General McAllister grabs Mendez's hand, still holding the lighter]

    Mendez: Hey, man, what the fuck is wrong with you guys? Aw, Jesus...

    McAllister: Shut your mouth! Shut up! And don't move.

    [flicks the lighter on]

    McAllister: Mr. Joshua, your left arm, please...

    [Mr. Joshua bares his arm, and allows the lighter to be held under his forearm, which starts to burn]

    Mendez: Hey, you guys are fuckin' gone... you know what I'm sayin'?... Aw, Jesus Christ!

    [looks disgusted, as Joshua's arm continues to be burnt]

    Mendez: You guys are fuckin' crazy, man. Come on!

    McAllister: [clicking the lighter off] Have Endo look at that, Mr. Joshua.

    Mr. Joshua: Yes, sir.

    [gives Mendez a look, and walks off]

    McAllister: [to Mendez] You wish to do business with us, yes? You wish to make a purchase, yes?

    Mendez: Yes, yes, Jesus Christ, yes... Ya know, you guys are out there like fuckin' Pluto, man. You're gone!

    McAllister: The bulk of the heroin will be here Friday night, we'll make delivery at that time. Have the money ready, and no tricks. If you try anything... you'll have to talk to Mr. Joshua. Merry Christmas.

  • Mr. Joshua: Good afternoon Mr. Mendez.

    Mendez: Yeah, how you doing?

    Mr. Joshua: Did you pat him down Mr. Larch?

    Mendez: Aw hey man, we went through this act already...

    Mr. Joshua: [Cutting off Mendez] Go through it again!

    Mendez: Who are you?

    Mr. Joshua: That's hardly important but if it matters you may call me Mr. Joshua.

    [Turns and motions to follow him]

    Mr. Joshua: Let's go.

    Mendez: Oh, great, swell, Mr. Joshua, huh?


  • Mendez: Glory be to the Bomb, and to the Holy Fallout. As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be. World without end. Amen.

  • Mendez: May the Blessings of the Bomb Almighty, and the Fellowship of the Holy Fallout, descend upon us all. This day and forever more.

    Congregation: [singing] Amen!

  • Mendez: [praying] The heavens declare the glory of the Bomb, and the firmament showeth His handiwork.

  • Mendez: If we shoot, we'll break twelve years of peace!

    Governor Kolp: Yes, it has been rather boring hasn't it?

Browse more character quotes from Machete Kills (2013)