Melanie McGowan Quotes in How to Kill Your Neighbor's Dog (2000)

Melanie McGowan: Other houses have M&Ms, we stock up with Smarties. It's like living at the duty-free-shop at Heathrow.

[Peter is smoking]

Melanie McGowan: You know, you're going to have to cut that out when the baby comes.

Peter McGowan: What? Are you expecting it tonight?

Melanie McGowan: Maybe you should see a therapist about your anxiety.

Peter McGowan: That's exactly what I'm afraid of. What if he cures me? Then, I'll have nothing to write about. Nobody wants to know about how happy you are.

Melanie McGowan: Oh, I don't think you ever have to worry about an over-abundance of happiness, dear.

Peter McGowan: "Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to conceive." *That* is Sir Walter Scott.

Melanie McGowan: Oh, really? I seem to remember that quote a bit differently.

Peter McGowan: [during wife's gyn exam] You know, to me sex education was always missing the answer to that key question, which was, yeah, how do I get me some?

Peter McGowan: [starts walking around] O-B-G-Y-N. What kind of acronym is that? Oh-bee guy'n. It's not really imaginative, I mean, you should come up with something that spells vagina - Vaginal Association of Gynecological Interns Navigating...

Melanie McGowan: Peter, give the doctor some quiet.

Peter McGowan: [now alongside the doctor] I'm sure it was an oversight on God's part when He positioned the gateway to paradise so dangerously close to the...

Melanie McGowan: Peter! Don't stand there and stare at my crotch!

Peter McGowan: Well, anything else would be considered inappropriate, my dear.

[last lines]

Melanie McGowan: [in back of limo] You ever done it in a vehicle?

Peter McGowen: Well... that time in Idyllwild, remember? But... I'm not driving this time...