Megan Dayton Quotes in Return to Me (2000)

Megan Dayton: Grace has Bob's dead wife's heart!

Megan Dayton: "What do you expect most from a relationship? A: Companionship. B: Sex. C: Respect." I'd have to go with B: Sex. But let's mark "C" so we get a higher score...

Megan Dayton: You're going to get a heart, I *know*. And you'll be able to do all the things you never could before. That's what you've gotta concentrate on. Think of riding a bike, and going to Italy... and dating *really* handsome men. *That*, I know, has to happen for one of us.

Grace Briggs: I'm getting a new heart, not a new ass.

Joe Dayton: [sees Grace crying] Aw, Christ. Who died?

Megan Dayton: No one.

Grace Briggs: [sobbing] Bob's wife!

Joe Dayton: He's married?

Megan Dayton: Oh, God...

Joe Dayton: Rat bastard!

Tyler Dayton: Yeah, rat bastard!

Joe Dayton: Tyler, shh! You want me to go over there and handle this? You want me to handle that son of a bitch?

Megan Dayton: Joe, no, please don't. Joe...

Joe Dayton: I knew it! I knew it, that hairline...

Megan Dayton: Joe, stay out of it, you don't know...

Joe Dayton: ...the "creative type", it's a given!

Megan Dayton: You don't know what you're talking about. Take the kids, stop it. Go with Daddy.

Joe Dayton: I'll go take care of it. I swear to God, I will kick his ass for you. I'll kick the shit out of him!

Megan Dayton: Honey, stop it, please! Stop it...

Joe Dayton: Quit pushing me!

Megan Dayton: I'm gonna push you! You don't...

Joe Dayton: Grace, what's going on here?

Megan Dayton: Joe, nothing's going on!

Joe Dayton: You want me to handle it? I'll kick the shit out of him for you, Grace! That son of a bitch!

Megan Dayton: Joe, please!

Joe Dayton: What? What?

Megan Dayton: Grace has Bob's dead wife's heart!

[pause]

Joe Dayton: [stunned] He's not married? Huh. Okay.

Megan Dayton: Whatever you do, don't shave your legs.

Grace Briggs: Why?

Megan Dayton: Well, then you definitely won't let it go too far.

Grace Briggs: Megan! It's a *first* date!

Megan Dayton: Yeah, well, I married a first date, missy, and you know how it is. You're out with a guy, you find him attractive, and suddenly everything he says sounds brilliant. Hairy legs are your only link to reality.

Grace Briggs: I think you should needle-point that on a pillow.

Megan Dayton: Well, I just might! It kept me a virgin until... y'know, *whenever*.

Megan Dayton: I have never said hell you son of a bitch.

Grace Briggs: So, I'm gonna tell him tonight.

Megan Dayton: Oh, please, I've heard that before.

Grace Briggs: No, I am.

Megan Dayton: Well, you should because he's perfect you know.

Grace Briggs: Yeah... for me he is.

[Joe is dancing in the kitchen with his shirt off]

Joe Dayton: I'm a bad cowboy

[Motions to Megan]

Joe Dayton: Come on.

Megan Dayton: No, no... our rhythm gets us in trouble.

Tyler Dayton: [back from the zoo] And then we went to see the gorillas and Mommy said it was you.

Megan Dayton: I did not!

Joe Dayton: Oh, really? Did you go to see the elephants?

Megan Dayton: Watch it, Joe.