Mechanic Quotes in The Road Warrior (1981)

Mechanic: The last of the V8 Interceptors... a piece of history!

[Picks up the booby trap he just removed]

Mechanic: Would've been a shame to blow it up.

Papagallo: [Mechanic has just rattled off a long list of things wrong with the big rig] Well, what does all that mean?

Zetta: Yeah, okay, but what does that mean?

Mechanic's Assistant: [to the Mechanic] What does that mean?

Mechanic: 24 hours.

Mechanic's Assistant: [to Papagallo] 24 hours?

Papagallo: They got 12!

Zetta: You've got 12!

Mechanic: Okay.

Mechanic's Assistant: [to Zetta] Okay!

Benedict: I wonder if you'd help me test a theory?

Mechanic: Sure, what can I do for ya?

Benedict: Well...

[Benedict shoots him. He listens for a while, looks at his wristwatch, then shouts]

Benedict: Hello? I've just shot somebody, I did it on purpose!

[listens some more, still nothing]

Benedict: I said, I have murdered a man and I want to confess!

[listens some more, someone tells him, "Hey, shut up, down there!". He looks pleased]

[Hub and Floyd arrive at the Redhook chop shop in a beat-up car in need of service]

Anthony 'Hub' Hubbard: [to a mechanic] Yo.

[the Hispanic mechanic looks up from under the car he is servicing]

Mechanic: Que pasa?

Anthony 'Hub' Hubbard: Tariq around?

[the mechanic gestures to the office in the back. Hub eyes the other mechanics in the shop, including a mechanic changing a tire and one doing a compression check. As he enters the office, Tariq is talking on the phone to someone in Arabic]

Anthony 'Hub' Hubbard: Tariq?

[Tariq holds a finger up to indicate "hold on," then quickly lowers the receiver]

Tariq Husseini, Auto Shop Owner: How can I help you?

Anthony 'Hub' Hubbard: You're Tariq Husseini?

Tariq Husseini, Auto Shop Owner: He's out.

Anthony 'Hub' Hubbard: Damn. Do you think you could give him a message?

Tariq Husseini, Auto Shop Owner: Of course.

Anthony 'Hub' Hubbard: Tell him the FBI is after him.

Tariq Husseini, Auto Shop Owner: You're joking.

Anthony 'Hub' Hubbard: [takes out his gun and badge] I'm not joking. Put the phone down, put your hands in the air.

Mechanic: Better get off the ground quick before this one gets canceled. Computer's been acting kinda strange today.

Jill: Aw, come on. It'll be a weekend you'll never forget.

Mechanic: All three of us?

Marcie: It's gonna be a weekend you can tell your kids about. If they're all boys.

Mechanic: Smilla, why does such a nice person have such a rough mouth?

Smilla: I'm sorry I've given you the impression it's my mouth that's rough. I try to be rough all over.

[David talks to the other Mecha robots locked away with him in the Flesh Fair cage]

Mechanic: Would you be so kind and shut down my pain receivers?

David: Why is this happening?

Cop: History repeats itself. It's of blood and electricity.

TV Face: So, when the opportunities avail themselves, they pick away at us... cutting back our numbers so they can maintain numerical superiority.

Mechanic: [after making some repairs on Tracey's truck] There, it's done, but I still do't think she's gonna hold.

Nick Schaffer: About how much we owe you?

Mechanic: [shrugs] 500 bucks.

Tracy Faucet: For what? For 2 quarts and sealant? No, that's 20 bucks, tops. Here's 40 dollars, that's double what it's worth.

[hands the mechanic 40 dollars and turns to leave]

Mechanic: [pulls a gun from, his belt] Hold it! Another little tool no mechanic should be without!

Nick Schaffer: Fine, here's your money...

[gives him the money]

Nick Schaffer: . But let me tell you something, Billy Ray. What goes around comes around.

Tracy Faucet: This is so un-... Christian!

Mechanic: Un-Christian? HA! Well, if the good Lord doesn't like the way I conduct business, let him say something! Let him gimme a sign.

[looks up and puts a hand to his ear]

Mechanic: Oh Lord, I'm here, and I'm listening! Helloooooo!

[Veera and her daughter drive past in the rocket car, and the mechanic's gas station collapses]

Mechanic: Darlin, we don't have any sand.

Tracy Faucet: Hello! WE'RE IN THE DESERT!

[repeated line]

Mechanic: Trailer brakes first!

Mechanic: Think of it as a train behind you. Forty feet of train.

Gross' Secretary: [into a phone] Mr. Yonge's on three. He's just seen the campaign. He sounds upset.

Howard Gross: [into the phone] Tell him to hold!

Gross' Secretary: Mr. Raybeck's on four. He's also seen the campaign. He also sounds upset.

Howard Gross: Tell Raybeck to hold!

Gross' Secretary: Your wife's on five from the hospital. Her father just passed away.

Howard Gross: Tell my wife to hold!

Gross' Secretary: Your mechanic's on six. He wants to talk to you abour your Mercedes. That's all.

Howard Gross: [calms down] Put my mechanic on.

[clicks switch and begins talking in a calm and happy tone]

Howard Gross: Hey. How are you doing, Lars?

Mechanic: [voice] Hello, Mr. Gross. How are you? Good talk to you.

Howard Gross: [into the phone] I'm fine. No, I'm great. You guys, you guys are great! You guys are great, are ya kiddin'?

Mechanic: Yeah, well we're having a problem with your car.

Howard Gross: [talking over] Is my car gonna be ready or what?

Mechanic: [voice] It's more then just an oil leak.

Howard Gross: [not registering yet] Yeah.

Mechanic: I'm afraid we'll have to also fix the transmission. Uh, $2500, I'd say.

Howard Gross: What are you talkin' about? No no no no, just oil. I just wanted oil.

Mechanic: [voice] Plus labor, we're talking maybe $4,000 even.

Howard Gross: [suddenly angry again; talking fast] You don't have my money- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! No, I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I- no, what do you mean? You wanna come over and see my driveway? I got no oil on my driveway! What are you talkin'- what are you talkin' about a leak? You guys know what it is? You guys are a bunch of goniffs! You bring in a car, you bring it in, put a leak in it which could cost me if it's under warranty...

Howard Gross: You guys are goniffs! You guys are worse- you-you guys are worse than-than-! You guys think you have a monopoly on the whole thing because you have a goddamn dealership there? You're crazy! I bring in at 15, I bring in at 25, bring it in at 35 for a goddamn oil change! That's under warranty, that transmission! I'm workin' here all day long! I'm 35 years old! I'm the head of this division! I'm gonna have a goddamn heart attack trying to pay for this car!

Jim Stone: [looks inside cylinder] This is full of cocaine.

Mechanic: [laughing] Yeah.

Jim Stone: This needs to be submitted to evidence.

Mechanic: [stops laughing] Yes, and it will, I'm sorry.

Mechanic: [indicating jumbo-sized tractor] The captain wants this for his son?

Jim Stone: Son-in-law.

Mechanic: Well, that's quite the gesture.

Mechanic: Is that your car?

Jeanne Tournier: If only it were. Mine's down the road about four miles from here.

Mechanic: That's bad. What is it?

Jeanne Tournier: A Peugeot 203.

Mechanic: What?

Jeanne Tournier: A Peugeot 203!

Mechanic: That's even worse. This is a Renault garage.

Abraham Klimt: I heard they have a story for sale.

Mechanic: Sir, do you buy stories?

Abraham Klimt: Exactly.

Mechanic: You should say: 'Mr' and 'Mrs." No first names. We're not characters in a novel.

Abraham Klimt: Maybe you are.

Mechanic: You should say: 'Mr' and 'Mrs.' No first names. We're not characters in a novel.

Mechanic: Maybe you are.

Mechanic: Down in front, asshole!

Mechanic: [after inspecting car] The fan blade's bent. Rock must've hit it. Yeah, she'll drive fine just noisy, that's all. You might want to have someone smarter than me take a look at it when you get where you're going, though.

David Fox: I'll do that, thanks. So now what do I owe you?

Mechanic: Oh, no, nothing. No, we're good. Hell, I should pay you for finally giving me something to do.

Mechanic: Every day's the fourth of July at Small's!

[lights up sparkler]

Mechanic: Owner makes me say that.

Mechanic: So, you're a cop?

Det. Catherine Palmer: Yeah. You like that?

Mechanic: Yeah. What do you work, vice?

Det. Catherine Palmer: Homicide.

Mechanic: That's a little weird, isn't it? I mean, you being a woman and all?

Det. Catherine Palmer: [pause] What do you do?

Mechanic: Mechanic. I fix things.

Det. Catherine Palmer: Say you got an old lady, she comes into the shop. She's driving a '72 Chevy, she's hearing a little ticking noise. Turns out she's got a busted transmission, gonna cost her 2,000 bucks. Only thing is, she doesn't have any money. What are you gonna do?

Mechanic: I'd say 'I don't fucking care.'

Det. Catherine Palmer: You're looking at someone's mother, pal. And all you see is an old lady with a busted-up car and not enough cash. All I ever see... people's dead mothers. Just a name on a file... guy in a dumpster, girl in a landfill, little dead boy in a park. Can you fix that?