McMurphy Quotes in The Jackal (1997)

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McMurphy Quotes:

  • McMurphy: How did you know whose phone to tap?

    Carter Preston: I didn't. So I tapped everybody's.

    Ambassador Koldin: But I have Diplomatic Immunity! Who authorized you to tap my telephone?

    Valentina Koslova: I did, Ambassador.

  • McMurphy: Jesus, I mean, you guys do nothing but complain about how you can't stand it in this place here and you don't have the guts just to walk out? What do you think you are, for Chrissake, crazy or somethin'? Well you're not! You're not! You're no crazier than the average asshole out walkin' around on the streets and that's it.

  • McMurphy: Which one of you nuts has got any guts?

  • McMurphy: Get out of my way son, you're usin' my oxygen.

  • McMurphy: Is that crazy enough for ya'? Want me to take a shit on the floor?

  • McMurphy: But I tried, didn't I? Goddamnit, at least I did that.

  • McMurphy: [about shock treatments] They was giving me ten thousand watts a day, you know, and I'm hot to trot! The next woman takes me on's gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars!

  • McMurphy: She was fifteen years old, going on thirty-five, Doc, and she told me she was eighteen, she was very willing, I practically had to take to sewing my pants shut. Between you and me, uh, she might have been fifteen, but when you get that little red beaver right up there in front of you, I don't think it's crazy at all and I don't think you do either. No man alive could resist that, and that's why I got into jail to begin with. And now they're telling me I'm crazy over here because I don't sit there like a goddamn vegetable. Don't make a bit of sense to me. If that's what being crazy is, then I'm senseless, out of it, gone-down-the-road, wacko. But no more, no less, that's it.

  • [McMurphy is pretending to watch the World Series on TV]

    McMurphy: Someone get me a fucking wiener before I die.

  • Chief Bromden: My pop was real big. He did like he pleased. That's why everybody worked on him. The last time I seen my father, he was blind and diseased from drinking. And every time he put the bottle to his mouth, he didn't suck out of it, it sucked out of him until he shrunk so wrinkled and yellow even the dogs didn't know him.

    McMurphy: Killed him, huh?

    Chief Bromden: I'm not saying they killed him. They just worked on him. The way they're working on you.

  • Night Nurse: Mr. Turkle?

    McMurphy: Where the fuck is he, why doesn't he answer her?

    Taber: He's jerkin' off somewhere.

    Orderly Turkle: Ain't no one jerkin' off nowhere muthafucker!

    McMurphy: Turkle what the fuck are you doing in here? Go out and talk to her.

    Orderly Turkle: I'm doin' the same fuckin' thing your doin'- hidin'!

  • [the inmates are playing cards and betting with cigarettes]

    Martini: [rips a cigarette in half] I bet a nickel.

    McMurphy: Dime's the limit, Martini.

    Martini: I bet a dime.

    [Puts the two halves onto the table]

    McMurphy: This is not a dime, Martini. This is a dime.

    [shows a whole cigarette]

    McMurphy: If you break it in half, you don't get two nickels, you get shit. Try and smoke it. You understand?

    Martini: Yes.

    McMurphy: You don't understand.

  • McMurphy: I can't take it no more. I gotta get outta here.

    Chief Bromden: I can't. I just can't.

    McMurphy: It's easier than you think, Chief.

    Chief Bromden: For you, maybe. You're a lot bigger than me.

  • McMurphy: I must be crazy to be in a loony bin like this.

  • McMurphy: I'm a goddamn marvel of modern science.

  • Young Psychiatrist: Have you ever heard of the old saying "a rolling stone gathers no moss?"

    McMurphy: Yeah.

    Young Psychiatrist: Does that mean something to you?

    McMurphy: Uh... tt's the same as "don't wash your dirty underwear in public."

    Young Psychiatrist: I'm not sure I understand what you mean.

    McMurphy: [smiling] I'm smarter than him, ain't I?

    [laughs]

    McMurphy: Well, that sort of has always meant, is, uh, it's hard for something to grow on something that's moving.

  • McMurphy: [pretending to watch the World Series on TV] Koufax... Koufax kicks. He delivers. It's up the middle! It's a base hit! Richardson is rounding first. He's going for second. The ball's into deep right center. Davis cuts the ball off! Here comes the throw. He throws it to second! He slides! He's in there! He's safe! It's a double.! Richardson's on second base!

    [McMurphy gets up as the other patients come to see what he's doing]

    McMurphy: Koufax is in big fucking trouble! Big trouble, baby! All right. Tresh is the next batter. Tresh looks in. Koufax... Koufax gets a sign from Roseboro. He kicks once. He pumps. He fires. It's a strike! Koufax's curve ball is snapping off like a fucking firecracker! All right, here he comes with the next pitch. Tresh swings. It's a long fly ball to deep left center!

    [patients cheer]

    McMurphy: It's going! It's gone! Let's hear it! One way!

  • McMurphy: In one week, I can put a bug so far up her ass, she don't know whether to shit or wind her wristwatch.

  • McMurphy: What are you doin' here? You oughta be out in a convertible bird-doggin' chicks and bangin' beaver.

  • [about Nurse Ratched]

    McMurphy: Well I don't wanna break up the meeting or nothin', but she's somethin' of a cunt, ain't she Doc?

  • McMurphy: Goddamn it Chief, you're about as big as a damn mountain!

  • Dr. Spivey: Well, the real reason that you've been sent over here is because they wanted you to be evaluated... to determine whether or not you are mentally ill. This is the real reason. Why do you think they might think that?

    McMurphy: Well, as near as I can figure out, it's 'cause I, uh, fight and fuck too much.

  • McMurphy: Nurse Ratched, Nurse Ratched! The Chief voted! Now will you please turn on the television set?

    Nurse Ratched: [she opens the glass window] Mr. McMurphy, the meeting was adjourned and the vote was closed.

    McMurphy: But the vote was 10 to 8. The Chief, he's got his hand up! Look!

    Nurse Ratched: No, Mr. McMurphy. When the meeting was adjourned, the vote was 9 to 9.

    McMurphy: [exasperated] Aw come on, you're not gonna say that now! You're not gonna say that now! You're gonna pull that hen house shit? Now when the vote... the Chief just voted - it was 10 to 9. Now I want that television set turned on *right now*!

    [Nurse Ratched closes the glass window]

  • McMurphy: You're not an idiot. Huh! You're not a goddamn looney now, boy. You're a fisherman!

  • McMurphy: That's right, Mr. Martini. There is an Easter Bunny.

  • McMurphy: [pointing to naked woman on playing card] Where do you suppose she lives?

  • McMurphy: We're just having a little party.

    Orderly Turkle: Party my ass, this ain't no nightclub!

  • McMurphy: [to other patients regarding naked playing cards] "No, no, I'll show you some card tricks. You ain't seen the Spanish deck yet. That's 20 percent more torture!"

  • Attendant Washington: Hey, McMurphy, what the hell you doin', man? He's a deaf, dumb Indian. He can't hear a fuckin' thing.

    McMurphy: I ain't talkin' to him, I'm talkin' to myself. You know what I mean?

  • Nurse Ratched: If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it.

    [McMurphy turns around to see Harding smiling at him]

    McMurphy: Heh, YOU'D like it, wouldn't you?

    [to Harding, regarding the pills]

    McMurphy: Here, give it to me.

  • McMurphy: A little dab'll do ya.

  • McMurphy: I'm here to cooperate with you a hundred percent. A hundred percent. I'll be just right down the line with ya'. You watch.

  • Nurse Pilbow: Don't get upset, Mr. McMurphy.

    McMurphy: I'm not getting upset, Nurse Pilbow. I just don't want anyone to slip me salt peter!

  • McMurphy: Jesus Christ! D'you nuts wanna play cards or do ya wanna fuckin' jerk off?

  • McMurphy: What are we doing in here, Chief? Huh? What's us two guys doing in this fucking place? Let's get out of here. Out.

    Chief Bromden: Canada?

    McMurphy: Canada. We'll be there before these sonofabitches know what hit 'em. Listen to Randall on this one.

  • McMurphy: Koufax looks down! He's looking at the great Mickey Mantle now! Here comes the pitch! Mantle swings! It's a fucking home run!

    [loud cheering from the patients]

  • McMurphy: Why don't ya shut your goddamn mouth and play some music.

  • [McMurphy, getting Chief into the basketball game]

    McMurphy: Hit me, Chief, I got the moves!

  • McMurphy: Who's the head bull-goose loony around here?

  • McMurphy: Lookit the faces on ya! Lookit ya!

    [laughing]

    McMurphy: The thieves brigade, ya ding a lings. The mental defective league, in formation.

    [laughing]

    McMurphy: How are ya, Nurse Ratched? I'm happy to be back."

  • McMurphy: All we need's one vote. Just one vote. Just your one vote!

    McMurphy: Just raise your hand up and your buddies can watch the baseball game.

  • Martini: [looking in the bait bucket on the fishing boat] Little fishes.

    McMurphy: That's right, Martini, and what are we gonna do with these little fishes?

    Martini: [grins] Catch big fishes.

  • McMurphy: [to Chief Bromden, who is looking on seemingly without comprehension] Now jump up there and put the ball in the basket.

    [no response]

    McMurphy: Jump up in the air and stuff that son of a bitch in there, Chief!

    [still no response]

    McMurphy: Take a rest, Chief.

  • McMurphy: When we get to Canada...

Browse more character quotes from The Jackal (1997)

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