McCoy Quotes in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982)

McCoy: [Kirk runs in to the engine room and sees Spock inside the reactor compartment. He rushes over but McCoy and Scotty hold him back] No! You'll flood the whole compartment!

Kirk: He'll die!

Scotty: Sir! He's dead already.

McCoy: It's too late.

[They let go and Kirk walks to the glass and pushes the intercom button]

Kirk: Spock!

[Spock slowly walks over to the glass and pushes the intercom]

Spock: The ship... out of danger?

Kirk: Yes.

Spock: Do not grieve, Admiral. It is logical. The needs of the many, outweigh...

Kirk: The needs of the few.

Spock: Or the one. I never took the Kobayashi Maru test until now. What do you think of my solution?

Kirk: Spock.

[Spock sits down]

Spock: [Gasping] I have been... and always shall be... your friend.

[he places a Vulcan salute on the glass]

Spock: [Gasping] Live long... and prosper.

[Spock dies]

Kirk: No.

Kirk: Physician, heal thyself!

McCoy: [Lying on the floor, propping himself up on one elbow] Is that all you've got to say? What about my performance?

Kirk: I'm not a drama critic!

Saavik: Admiral, may I ask you a question?

Kirk: What's on your mind, Lieutenant?

Saavik: The Kobayashi Maru, sir.

Kirk: Are you asking me if we're playing out that scenario now?

Saavik: On the test, sir... will you tell me what you did? I would really like to know.

McCoy: Lieutenant, you are looking at the only Starfleet cadet who ever beat the no-win scenario.

Saavik: How?

Kirk: I reprogrammed the simulation so it was possible to rescue the ship.

Saavik: What?

David Marcus: He cheated.

Kirk: I changed the conditions of the test; got a commendation for original thinking. I don't like to lose.

Saavik: Then you never faced that situation... faced death.

Kirk: I don't believe in the no-win scenario.

McCoy: [to Spock] Are you out of your Vulcan mind?

McCoy: He's not really dead. As long as we remember him.

Kirk: It's a far, far better thing I do than I have ever done before. A far better resting place that I go to than I have ever known.

Carol Marcus: Is that a poem?

Kirk: No. Something Spock was trying to tell me. On my birthday.

McCoy: You okay, Jim? How do you feel?

Kirk: Young. I feel young.

McCoy: Damn it Jim, what the hell is the matter with you? Other people have birthdays, why are we treating yours like a funeral?

[Discussing the effects of the Genesis torpedo]

McCoy: Dear Lord. You think we're intelligent enough to... suppose... what if this thing were used where life already exists?

Spock: It would destroy such life in favor of its new matrix.

McCoy: Its "new matrix"? Do you have any idea what you're saying?

Spock: I was not attempting to evaluate its moral implications, Doctor. As a matter of cosmic history, it has always been easier to destroy than to create.

McCoy: Not anymore; now we can do both at the same time! According to myth, the Earth was created in six days. Now, watch out! Here comes Genesis! We'll do it for you in six minutes!

Spock: Really, Dr. McCoy. You must learn to govern your passions; they will be your undoing. Logic suggests...

McCoy: Logic? My God, the man's talking about logic; we're talking about universal Armageddon! You green-blooded, inhuman...

[Kirk unwraps Bones' birthday present]

Kirk: Romulan Ale. Why, Bones, you know this is illegal.

McCoy: I only use it for medicinal purposes.

Kirk: Engine room. Well done, Scotty!

McCoy: Jim... I think you'd better get down here.

Kirk: Bones?

McCoy: Better hurry...

McCoy: [grabbing Spock's arm] You're not going in there!

Spock: Perhaps you're right. What is Mr. Scott's condition?

McCoy: [turns to Scotty] Well I don't think that he...

[Spock use the vulcan nerve pinch on McCoy]

Spock: I'm sorry, Doctor, I have no time to explain this logically.

[sits McCoy down and performs mind meld]

Spock: Remember!

[Kirk and McCoy are beaming down to Regula One]

Spock: Jim, be careful.

McCoy: *We* will!

Kirk: [Kirk is reacting - badly - to Spock ordering Saavik to take the Enterprise out of spacedock, something she has never done before]

McCoy: Do you want a tranquilizer?

Kirk: [shakes head quickly]

Kirk: [to McCoy, who is still lying where he fell during Saavik's simulation] Physician, heal thyself.

McCoy: Is that all you've got to say? What about my performance?

Kirk: I'm not a drama critic!

McCoy: Where are we going?

Kirk: Where they went.

McCoy: Suppose they went *nowhere*?

Kirk: Then this will be your big chance to get away from it all.

McCoy: [handing Kirk a birthday gift, after Kirk hands him the Romulan ale] Now you open this one.

Kirk: [taking gift] I'm almost afraid to. What is it, Klingon aphrodisiacs?

McCoy: No. More antiques for your collection.

McCoy: [reference to the turbolift] Who's been holding up the damn elevator?

McCoy: Admiral, wouldn't it be easier to put an experienced crew back on the ship?

Kirk: Galloping around the cosmos is a game for the young, Doctor.

[Leaves]

Commander Nyota Uhura: Now what is that supposed to mean?

McCoy: Everywhere I go, there's always an asshole.

McCoy: You know some of you guys have some cute little asses. It'd be a real shame if I had to blow'em off.

Tom Cody: Hey you always walk around packed?

McCoy: I told you, I'm a soldier.

Tom Cody: Well, don't go pointin' that thing at me, I wouldn't like it.

McCoy: I don't go pointin' it unless I'm gonna use it.

Tom Cody: Yeah, right.

McCoy: I've been a soldier, 'til I ran out of wars.

McCoy: We're gonna play a little game, you Bombers are gonna like it, it's called lights out.

McCoy: Some people that never talk about their feelings got 'em deeper than anybody. Other people never talk about their feelings 'cause they ain't got any.

McCoy: You wanna change this tire, shorty?

Billy Fish: Changing tires isn't exactly my line of work, dear.

McCoy: If that's the case, then why don't you just shut up!

McCoy: Are we going to talk about it, or are we going to do it?

McCoy: Hey look, I did real good back there.

Tom Cody: So what, I'm all out of medals.

Tom Cody: OK Fish, you head back to the car. I want you in that doorway over there in fifteen minutes. And I mean fifteen minutes.

Billy Fish: Are you crazy? They'll notice me in a second down there.

Tom Cody: Don't worry about that, I'm gonna give them a couple of other things to worry about.

Billy Fish: What about her? I thought she's supposed to do the driving!

Tom Cody: Get moving, and you better be ready when we get there.

McCoy: Do you trust him, or are you just desperate?

Tom Cody: You take the front entrance, I'm going topside. If you can work your way upstairs to help me out, fine. If not, I'll handle it.

McCoy: Just what I always wanted to do, Cody. Take on the Bombers.

[after Kirk and Martia kiss passionately]

McCoy: What IS it with you, anyway?

Kirk: Still think we're finished?

McCoy: Now, more than ever!

[the crew enter the bridge]

Kirk: Once again, we've saved civilization as we know it.

McCoy: And the good news is they're not going to prosecute.

Uhuru: They might as well have prosecuted me. I felt like Lt. Valeris.

McCoy: [looks at Spock] Well, they don't prosecute people for having feelings.

Chekov: Just as well, or we'll all have to turn ourselves in.

Kirk: What are we all doing here?

McCoy: Maybe they're throwing us a retirement party.

Scotty: That suits me. I just bought a boat.

Uhuru: This had better be good. I'm supposed to be chairing a seminar at the Academy.

Chekov: Captain, isn't this just for top brass?

McCoy: If we're all here, where's Sulu?

Kirk: *Captain* Sulu, on assignment. Where's Spock?

Kirk: [showing the Vulcan salute] How many fingers do I have up?

McCoy: That's not very damn funny.

Kirk: You're sense of humor's returned!

McCoy: The hell it has!

[Witnessing the destruction of the Enterprise]

Kirk: My God, Bones... what have I done?

McCoy: What you had to do, what you always do. Turn death into a fighting chance to live.

Kirk: You're suffering from a Vulcan mind-meld, doctor.

McCoy: That green-blooded son of a bitch! It's his revenge for all the arguments he lost.

Kirk: Scotty, you're as good as your word.

Scotty: Aye, sir. The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain.

[giving McCoy a handful of computer chips]

Scotty: Here, Doctor, souvenirs from one surgeon to another. I took them out of her main transwarp computer drive.

McCoy: Nice of you to tell me in advance.

Kirk: That's what you get for missing staff meetings, Doctor. Gentlemen, your work today has been outstanding and I intend to recommend you all for promotion... in whatever fleet we end up serving.

Kirk: Scan for vessels in pursuit.

McCoy: [in Spock's voice and manner] Scanning. Indications negative at this time.

[everyone stares at him]

McCoy: [as himself] Did I get it right?

Kirk: Great, Bones. Just great.

McCoy: [to an unconscious Spock] I'm gonna tell you something that I... never thought I'd ever hear myself say. But it seems I've... missed you. And I don't know if I could stand to lose you again.

Kirk: How are we doing?

McCoy: How are "we" doing? Funny you should put it quite that way, Jim. "We" are doing fine. But I'd feel safer giving him one of my kidneys than what's scrambled in my brain.

Alien: To your planet, welcome.

McCoy: I think that's *my* line, stranger.

Alien: Oh, forgive. I here am new. But you are known, being McCoy from Enterprise.

McCoy: You have me at a disadvantage, sir.

Alien: Oh, I name not important. You seek I. Message received. Available ship stands by.

McCoy: How much and how soon?

Alien: How soon is now. How much is, where?

McCoy: Somewhere in the Mutara sector.

Alien: Oh, Mutara restricted! Take permits many; money more.

McCoy: There aren't gonna be any damned permits! How can you get a permit to do a damned illegal thing? Look, price you name, money I got.

Alien: Place *you* name, money *I* name, otherwise bargain, no.

McCoy: Alright, damn it! It's Genesis! The name of the place we're going is GENESIS!

Alien: Genesis?

McCoy: Yes, Genesis! How can you be deaf with ears like that?

Alien: Genesis allowed is not! Is planet forbidden!

[Kirk finds McCoy in Spock's quarters]

McCoy: Jim... help me. You left me... on Genesis... why did you do that? Help me...

Kirk: Bones? What the hell are you doing? Have you lost your mind?

McCoy: Help me, Jim. Take me home.

Kirk: Home is where we are. We are home.

McCoy: Then perhaps it's not too late. Climb the steps, Jim. Climb the steps of Mount Seleyah.

Kirk: Mount Seleyah? Bones, Mount Seleyah's on Vulcan. We're home. On Earth.

McCoy: Remember...

Mr. Adventure: Look at you. You're a twenty-year space veteran, yet you pick the worst duty station in town. I mean, look at this place. This is the hind end of space.

Uhura: Peace and quiet appeals to me, Lieutenant.

Mr. Adventure: Well, maybe that's okay for someone like you, whose career is winding down. But me, I need some excitement, some adventure... maybe even just a surprise or two.

Uhura: Well, you know what they say, Lieutenant. Be careful what you wish for. You might get it.

[Kirk, McCoy and Sulu enter the transporter room]

Kirk: Uhura, is everything ready?

Uhura: Step into my parlor, gentlemen.

Mr. Adventure: That's Admiral Kirk, my God!

Uhura: Very good for you, Lieutenant.

Mr. Adventure: But it's damned irregular. No destination points, no encoded ID's.

Uhura: All true.

Mr. Adventure: So what are we gonna do about it?

Uhura: I'm not gonna do anything about it. You're gonna sit in the closet.

Mr. Adventure: The *closet*? Have you lost your sense of reality?

Uhura: This isn't reality.

[Turns a phaser on him]

Uhura: This is fantasy. You wanted adventure, how's this? The old adrenaline going, huh? Good boy. Now get in the closet.

Mr. Adventure: All right...

Uhura: Go on.

Mr. Adventure: I'll just get in the closet. All right! Damn!

[Falls into the closet and shuts the door]

McCoy: I'm glad you're on *our* side!

Kirk: [Pointing to the closet] Are you sure you can handle...?

Uhura: Oh, I'll have "Mr. Adventure" eating out of my hand, sir. And I'll see all of you at the rendezvous.

[McCoy is informed of the danger of the transfusion]

McCoy: I choose the danger.

[Kirk glances at McCoy]

McCoy: [mutters to Kirk] Hell of a time to ask...

Vulcan High Priestess: Sarek! Child of S'kon, child of So'kar! The body of your son breathes still. What is your wish?

Sarek: I ask for fal tor pan: the refusion.

Vulcan High Priestess: What you seek has not been done in ages past and then, only in legend. Your request is not logical.

Sarek: Forgive me, T'layr. My logic is uncertain where my son is concerned.

Vulcan High Priestess: Who is the keeper of the katra?

McCoy: I am. McCoy, Leonard H, son of David.

Vulcan High Priestess: McCoy, son of David, since thou art human, we cannot expect thee to fully comprehend what Sarek has requested. Spock's body lives: with your approval, we shall use all our powers to return to his body that which you possess.

Vulcan High Priestess: But McCoy, you must now be warned. The danger to thyself is as grave as the danger to Spock. You must make the choice.

McCoy: I choose the danger. Hell of a time to ask.

[the Enterprise faces off against a cloaked Klingon Bird-of-Prey]

Kirk: If my guess is right, she'll have to decloak before she can fire.

McCoy: May all your guesses be right.

McCoy: Rapid aging. All genetic functions highly accelerated.

Kirk: What about his mind?

McCoy: His mind is a void. It seems, Admiral, that I've got all his marbles.

Kirk: Is there anything we can do?

Saavik: Only one thing, sir. Get him off this planet. His aging is part of what's going on around us.

Kirk: Unit two, this is unit one. The Kobayashi Maru has set sail for the promised land. Acknowledge.

Chekov: [on communicator] Message acknowledged. All units will be informed.

McCoy: You're taking me to the promised land?

Kirk: What are friends for?

Sulu: One minute to space doors.

McCoy: Are you just gonna walk through them?

Kirk: Calm yourself, Doctor.

Kirk: What does God need with a starship?

McCoy: Jim, what are you doing?

Kirk: I'm asking a question.

"God": Who is this creature?

Kirk: Who am I? Don't you know? Aren't you God?

Sybok: He has his doubts.

"God": You doubt me?

Kirk: I seek proof.

McCoy: Jim! You don't ask the Almighty for his ID!

"God": Then here is the proof you seek.

[Shoots Kirk with lightning]

Kirk: Why is God angry?

Sybok: Why? Why have you done this to my friend?

"God": He doubts me.

Spock: You have not answered his question. What does God need with a starship?

"God": [shoots Spock with lightning; then addresses McCoy] Do you doubt me?

McCoy: I doubt any God who inflicts pain for his own pleasure.

Kirk: Damn it Spock! God damn it!

Spock: Captain, what have I done?

Kirk: What you've done is betray every man on this ship!

Spock: Worse I've betrayed you. I do not expect you to forgive me.

Kirk: Forgive you? I oughta knock you on your goddamned ass!

Spock: If you think it would help.

McCoy: Do you want me to hold him, Jim?

Kirk: You stay out of this! Why, Spock, why? All you had to do is pull the trigger!

Spock: If I had done that Sybok would be dead.

Kirk: I ordered you to defend your ship!

Spock: You ordered me to kill my brother.

Kirk: But the man may be a fellow Vulcan but he...

Spock: No, no you do not understand. Sybok also is a son of Sarek.

Kirk: You mean he's your "brother" brother?

[Spock nods]

Kirk: You made that up.

Spock: I did not.

Kirk: You did too! Sybok couldn't possibly be your brother because I happen to know for a fact that you don't have a brother.

Spock: Technically you are right I do not have a brother.

Kirk: There! You see?

Spock: I have a half-brother.

Kirk: I gotta sit down.

McCoy: I'll tell you one thing, Spock: You never cease to amaze me.

Spock: Nor I, myself.

McCoy: What's the matter, Jim?

Kirk: I miss my old chair.

Kirk: Go to bed, Spock. Good night, Bones.

McCoy: Good night, Jim.

Spock: Good night, doctor.

McCoy: Good night, Spock.

Spock: Good night, captain.

Kirk: [to himself] ... I don't know... I just don't know...

Spock: I've lost a brother.

Kirk: Yes. I lost a brother once. I was lucky I got him back?

McCoy: I thought you said men like us don't have families.

Kirk: I was wrong.

Scotty: [to Kirk about ship status] Ah. All I can say is they don't make them like they used to.

Kirk: You told me you could get this ship operational in two weeks, I gave you three, what happened?

Scotty: I think you gave me too much time, Captain.

Kirk: Very well, Mr Scott. Carry on.

Scotty: Aye, sir.

[Spots a junior engineer nearby]

Scotty: How many times do I have to tell you, the right tool for the right job!

McCoy: [laughs] I don't think I've ever seen him happier.

[They enter the turbolift]

Computer: Le-le-level?

Kirk: Bridge... I hope. I could use a shower.

Spock: [looks at Kirk] Yes.

Kirk: [responds to a tapping within the wall] What's that noise?

Spock: [tapping continues] I believe it is a primitive form of communication known as morse Code.

Kirk: You're right. I'm out of practice.

[tapping]

Kirk: That's an "S".

Spock: "T".

Kirk: "A"... "N"... "D", end of word.

McCoy: "Stand".

Kirk: New word... "B"... "A"...

Spock: "C"... "K".

McCoy: "Back". "Stand back".

Kirk, Spock, McCoy: "Stand back"?

[the wall explodes]

Scotty: [on the other side of the wall] What are you standing around for? Do you not know a jailbreak when you see one?

[eating a campfire dinner]

Spock: Bipodal seeds, Doctor?

McCoy: Beans, Spock. But no ordinary beans. These are from a special Southern recipe handed down by my father. And if you stick your Vulcan nose up at these, you're not only insulting me, but generations of McCoys.

Spock: In that case, I have little choice but to sample your beans.

Kirk: What are you doing?

Spock: I am preparing to toast a marsh melon.

McCoy: Well, I'll be damned. A marsh melon. Where'd you learn to do that?

Spock: Before leaving the ship, I consulted the computer library to familiarize myself with the customs associated with "camping out".

McCoy: Well, tell me, Spock. What do you do after we toast the marsh - er, marsh melons?

Spock: We consume them.

McCoy: I know we consume them. I mean after that.

Spock: Oh. I believe we are required to engage in a ritual known as the sing-a-long.

McCoy: We were speculating. Is God really out there?

Kirk: Maybe he's not out there, Bones. Maybe he's right here.

[points to his heart]

Kirk: Human heart.

Spock: [about Sybok] He reminds me of someone I knew in my youth.

McCoy: Why, Spock, I didn't know you had one.

Spock: I do not often think of the past.

[Around a campfire singing "Row Row Row Your Boat"]

Kirk: Come on. Spock... Why didn't you jump in?

Spock: I was trying to comprehend the meaning of the words.

McCoy: It's a song, you green-blooded... Vulcan. You sing it. The words aren't important. What's important is that you have a good time singing it.

Spock: Oh, I am sorry, Doctor. Were we having a good time?

McCoy: God, I liked him better before he died.

McCoy: All that time in space, getting on each other's nerves. And what do we do when shore leave comes along? We spend it together. Other people have families.

Kirk: Other people, Bones. Not us.

McCoy: [in response to Spock carrying Kirk while wearing jet-boots] You two go on ahead, I'll wait for the next car.

McCoy: Jim... if you ask me, and you haven't, I think this is a terrible idea. We're bound to bump into the Klingons, and they don't exactly like you.

Kirk: The feeling's mutual. Engine room.

Scotty: [over the intercom] Scotty here.

Kirk: We'll need all the power you can muster, mister.

Scotty: Don't you worry, Captain. We'll beat those Klingon devils, even if I have to get out and push.

Kirk: I hope it won't come to that, Mr. Scott.

Kirk: "All I ask is a tall ship, and a star to steer by."

McCoy: Melville.

Spock: John Masefield.

McCoy: Are you sure about that?

Spock: I am well-versed in the classics, Doctor.

McCoy: Then how come you don't know "Row, Row, Row Your Boat"?

[Spock raises his eyebrows]

[last lines]

[around a campfire]

Kirk: [to Spock] Are you just gonna sit there and pluck that thing? Or are you gonna play something?

Spock: [starts playing]

Kirk, McCoy, Spock: [singing in canon] Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream...

McCoy: [McCoy is watching Kirk climb a mountain] "You'll have a great time, Bones. You'll enjoy your shore leave. You'll relax." You call this relaxing? I'm a nervous wreck. I'm not careful, I'll end up talking to myself.

Sybok: What are you doing?

Kirk: In order to lower and re-raise the shields as quickly as possible, we're going to forego the tractor beam, and fly her in manually.

McCoy: *Manually*?

Sybok: How often have you done this?

Sulu: [smiles] Actually, it's my first attempt.

Kirk: Mr. Spock, have you accounted for the variable mass of whales and water in your time re-entry program?

Spock: Mr. Scott cannot give me exact figures, Admiral, so... I will make a guess.

Kirk: A guess? You, Spock? That's extraordinary.

Spock: [to Dr. McCoy] I don't think he understands.

McCoy: No, Spock. He means that he feels safer about your guesses than most other people's facts.

Spock: Then you're saying...

[pause]

Spock: It is a compliment?

McCoy: It is.

Spock: Ah. Then, I will try to make the best guess I can.

McCoy: Please do.

McCoy: [probing Chekov's head] Tearing of the middle meningeal artery...

Doctor #1: What's your degree in, dentistry?

McCoy: How do YOU explain slowing pulse, low respiratory rate and coma?

Doctor #1: Fundascopic examination!

McCoy: Fundascopic examination is unrevealing in these cases!

Doctor #1: A simple evacuation of the epidural hematoma will relieve the pressure!

McCoy: My God man, drilling holes in his head is not the answer! The artery must be repaired! Now, put away your butcher's knives and let me save this patient before it's too late!

Kirk: Out of the way...

Shore Patrolman: Sorry, Doctor, I have strict orders...

Dr. Gillian Taylor: [Gillian moans in pain]

McCoy: My God, man. Do you want an acute case on your hands? This woman has immediate postprandial, upper-abdominal distention. Now, out of the way! Get out of the way!

[They enter the operating room]

Kirk: What did you say she has?

McCoy: Cramps.

McCoy: You, ah, realize of course that if we give him the formula we're altering the future.

Scotty: Why? How do we know he didn't invent the thing?

McCoy: You sure this is such a bright idea?

Kirk: What do you mean?

McCoy: [referring to Spock] I mean him! Back at his post like nothing happened. I don't know if you got the whole picture or not, but he's not quite operating on all thrusters!

Kirk: It'll come back to him.

McCoy: Are you sure?

[Kirk doesn't answer]

McCoy: That's what I thought.

McCoy: [McCoy, masked and in surgical garb, passes an elderly woman groaning on a gurney in the hallway] What's the matter with you?

Elderly patient: [weakly] Kidney

[pause]

Elderly patient: dialysis.

McCoy: [geniunely surprised] Dialysis?

[musing to himself]

McCoy: What is this, the Dark Ages?

[He turns back to the patient and hands her a large white pill]

McCoy: Here,

[pause]

McCoy: you swallow that, and if you have any more problems, just call me!

[He pats her cheek and leaves]

McCoy: [Dr. McCoy is talking about Mr. Spock]

McCoy: I don't know if you've got the whole picture, but he's not exactly working on all thrusters.

McCoy: I mean, I may have carried your soul, but I sure couldn't fill your shoes.

Spock: My shoes?

McCoy: Forget it.

McCoy: Perhaps, we could cover a little philosophical ground. Life

[pause]

McCoy: Death

[pause]

McCoy: Life.

[pause]

McCoy: Things of that nature.

Spock: I did not have time on Vulcan to review the philosophical disciplines.

McCoy: C'mon, Spock, it's me, McCoy. You really have gone where no man's gone before. Can't you tell me what it felt like?

Spock: It would be impossible to discuss the subject without a common frame-of-reference.

McCoy: You're joking!

Spock: A joke

[pause]

Spock: is a story with a humorous climax.

McCoy: You mean I have to die to discuss your insights on death?

Spock: Forgive me, Doctor. I am receiving a number of distress calls.

McCoy: I don't doubt it.

[Kirk is pacing back and forth, considering a below-decks room in the Klingon ship for possible whale transport]

Kirk: Scotty, how long is this bay?

Scotty: About sixty feet, Admiral.

Kirk: Can you enclose it to hold water?

Scotty: [laughs] I suppose I could. You planning to take a swim?

McCoy: [sourly] Off the deep end, Mr. Scott!

Kirk: We got to find some humpbacks.

Scotty: Humpbacked... people?

Kirk: Whales, Mr. Scott, whales!

McCoy: You're going to try time traveling in this rustbucket?

Kirk: Well, we've done it before.

McCoy: Sure, you slingshot around the Sun, pick up enough speed - You're in time warp. If you don't, you're fried.

Kirk: I prefer it to nothing.

McCoy: I prefer a dose of common sense! You're proposing that we go backwards in time, find humpback whales, then bring them foward in time, drop 'em off, and hope to Hell they tell this probe what to do with itself!

Kirk: That's the general idea.

McCoy: Well, that's crazy!

Kirk: You've got a better idea?

[pause]

Kirk: Now's the time.

Spock: Ready to engage computer, Admiral.

Kirk: What's our target in time?

Spock: Late twentieth century.

Kirk: Can you be more specific?

Spock: Not with this equipment. I've had to program some of the variables from memory.

Kirk: What are some of the variables?

Spock: The availability of fuel components, mass of the vessel through a time continuum, and probable location of humpback whales - in this case, the Pacific Basin.

Kirk: And you programmed all that from memory?

Spock: I have.

McCoy: Angels and ministers of grace, defend us!

Spock: [recognizing the quote] Hamlet, Act One, Scene Four.

Kirk: [smiling] No doubt about your memory, Spock. Engage computers. Prepare for warp speed.

McCoy: My God, man! Drilling holes in his head isn't the answer! Now put away your butcher knives and let me save this patient before it's too late!

McCoy: Hi. Busy?

Spock: Uhura is busy. I am monitoring.

McCoy: So, this is the probe's way of saying, "hello" to the people of Earth?

Spock: [looking annoyed] There are other species on earth. Only human arrogance would assume the signal must be meant for mankind.

McCoy: Do you know anything about rafts? There's rough water down river.

Rooster Cogburn: I can ride. Can't be much different.

McCoy: You ain't no sailor. I can see that. Water is like a woman: sly and fickle. You gotta watch it every minute.

Rooster Cogburn: You a sailor?

McCoy: I was once. Shanghai McCoy's my name. Been around the Horn, sailed the seven seas, seen everything, done everything, that's how I know people are rotten. I've seen 'em all.

Eula Goodnight: You're wrong, old man. We're made in God's image, and goodness is in us. Even in you.

McCoy: Amazing! I never took you for a Bible-thumper.

Rooster Cogburn: Hold it. She is what she is 'cause she wants to be. That's the way you take her. Like me.

McCoy: You're wastin' your time preachin'. You too, Sister. I'm a ship that can't be salvaged.

Rooster Cogburn: You ain't very hospitable.

McCoy: I ain't got an ounce of goodwill in me, and that's a fact. I hate everybody. I'm a cantankerous old man, and I know it. I like myself better'n anyone I ever met, that's how come I took this job - to be alone with me!

McCoy: You're shippin' out with a strange crew, captain.

Rooster Cogburn: I'll match their mettle against most.

McCoy: I'm glad it's your ship, not mine. Women can no more keep their mouths shut than a yellow-tailed catfish.

Rooster Cogburn: [pats McCoy's stomach] Got to agree with you there.