Maury Ballstein Quotes in Zoolander (2001)

Maury Ballstein: Mugatu is so hot right now he could take a crap, wrap it in tinfoil, put a couple fish hooks on it and sell it to Queen Elizabeth as earrings.

Derek Zoolander: God?

Maury Ballstein: God? What the shit are you talkin' about. It's me, Maury.

Maury Ballstein: What do we do when we fall off the horse?

Derek Zoolander: [thoughtfully looking up and mouthing the words silently] ... fall off the horse...

Maury Ballstein: [looking to supply finish] ... we... get back on!

Derek Zoolander: Sorry, Maury. I'm not a gymnast.

Maury Ballstein: For Christ's sake it's a casserole Sheila... it'll stay!

Maury Ballstein: I've got a prostate the size of a honeydew and a head full of bad memories.

Maury Ballstein: You want an opinion? With a push-up bra you could have a nice rack of lamb up there.

Maury Ballstein: The designer's got your nuts in a vice! He's offering you three percent for every pair of underwear sold! WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO!

Kids: Screw Him! Hold out for more!

Maury Ballstein: It's a casserole Sheila... it'll keep!