Matty Quotes in Pixels (2015)


Matty Quotes:

  • Sam Brenner: Hello. I am a nerd from the Nerd Brigade. Here to nerd out on all your audio and visual needs.

    Matty: Do you have to say that every time you showed up by the house?

    Sam Brenner: If I wanna get paid, yes.

    Matty: Isn't it kind of demeaning?

    Sam Brenner: Only if someone brings that up.

    Matty: Ehh. Well, bring it up then.

    Sam Brenner: Thanks.

  • Matty: Classics you mean Halo and Call of Duty?

    Sam Brenner: No. The real classics. Defender. Pac-man. Astroids. Games you play in an arcade which was a building outside of your house. You would go there with your friends, listen to music, cute girls everywhere. In ancient times, they call it 'socializing'.

  • Matty: Anyway, my mom hates him and she says she's gonna invent a slut seeking missile to take out Sinnamon.

  • Sam Brenner: Is it your birthday?

    Matty: No. My parents are getting a divorce.

    Sam Brenner: Oh. So it's like 10 birthdays.

  • Matty: Man, that opening party was incredible. Check out the pictures on Myspace. There's one of me eating cheese off some girl's titties.

    Aaron Green: Please just lie to me and say I didn't miss another awesome party.

    Matty: You missed an awesome party. I woke up with glitter on my dick.

  • Lisa: Matty, what am I doing? I caught myself. Don't judge anybody else until you check yourself out that way you are lucky if it's your fault because then you can correct the situation. I'm nervous over something that is going on with me, and I ended up with an attractive guy who you would have to be an idiot to mistake for anything more than just a fun friendship, and... and, yes amazing sex, and then I give that guy a hard time for just being who he is. Totally my fault, I'm sorry. Please forgive me.

    Matty: Are you apologizing?

    Lisa: Yeah.

    Matty: If you are really apologizing, you may be my dream girl. I heard those footsteps and I'm like, right somebody nuts is coming back to be more nuts and now an apology, you might be my dream girl.

  • Lisa: OK, then this is what I need, if in the middle of the night I start crying, shaking or getting enormously upset I don't want you to ask me what's wrong, I just want you to ignore it. Is that OK with you?

    Matty: Actually that's my preference!

  • Matty: I screw up, that's why I wrote something out that I wanna... I wanna say to you. OK this will be good. Is it bad that I wrote it out?

    Lisa: Its unusual, it's not bad. Stop asking me things like that it's weird.

    Matty: Oh yeah sorry, I went nuts when you left, I broke a lamp!

    Lisa: OK, read me the thing.

    Matty: That was the thing!

  • Matty: Let me ask you something, how do you know when you're in love?

    Bullpen Pitcher: Well...

    Matty: What?

    Bullpen Pitcher: I've got a way, whenever this one thing happens I know I'm done. I will tell you but its personal and I don't want anybody making fun of me for it.

    Matty: No, no-ones going to... just go!

    Bullpen Pitcher: I think I'm in love with somebody when I wear a condom with the other girls, OK?

    Matty: Holy shit I'm in love.

  • Matty: I think I screwed up.

    George: Not from my perspective.

  • Lisa: George, this is my boyfriend Matty.

    George: Nice to meet you.

    Matty: Who is he?

    Lisa: You didn't even say hello!

    Matty: Yeah, I think you ought to check with me before you invite some guy over, so I'm a little bit too pissed off to say hello!

  • Francesca: [after Kyle tells them about telling Anna] You told Anna Ross?

    Matty: Yeah. Kyle said he had a "feeling" about her.

    Francesca: Hey, was the feeling anywhere near your crotch?

    [Roy laughs]

  • Desmond Rhodes: [when group explains reasons for cooperating] I'm here cuz the SAT is racist.

    Matty: Well, that didn't take long, did it?

    Desmond Rhodes: What, you don't think so? Who made the test? Rich white guys. Who scored the highest on the test?

    Roy: [interrupts Desmond] Asian chicks. Middle-class asian girls who watch less than an hour of television a day. They can't drive, but they can kick the shit out of the SAT.

  • Matty: Did you happen to see my dad's truck in the driveway when you drove up? It's the one with the large crapper on the top of it. It doesn't say Matthew's Septic on it Kyle. It says Matthew *and Son's* Septic. If I don't get into Maryland my life is shit... literally. And its not even my own shit!

  • Kyle: Do you even know what SAT stands for?

    Matty: Suck Ass Test?

    Kyle: Scholastic Aptitude Test. Then they got rid of that altogether. You know what it stands for now?

    Matty: Humph.

    Kyle: SAT.

    Matty: What?

    Kyle: SAT stands for SAT. That's it.

    Matty: That's fucked up!

  • Francesca: Remember when you said that you were great at being Sandy's boyfriend? Well, you weren't.

    Matty: That's nice, Francesca. Why don't you just rub it in a little...

    [Francesca interrupts him with a surprise kiss]

    Francesca: You weren't great at being some girl's boyfriend, Matty. You just found someone who would let you be OK with yourself.

  • Roy: [looking at a crow in a tree] Caw! Caw! Caw, caw, caaaaaw!

    Matty: [to Kyle] You've assembled a crack team, chief.

  • [Matty just insulted Francesca after Francesca insulted his relationship with his girlfriend]

    Matty: I'm sorry... I didn't mean it.

    Francesca: Then why did you say it?

    Matty: Because she doesn't call anymore.

  • Matty: This is never gonna work.

    Kyle: It'll be okay.

    Matty: [scoffs] Yeah, we're going to be great. I mean, all-state's phone is ringing off the hook here, and...

    [looks behind him at Roy]

    Matty: Roy's trying to smoke Larry's comforter.

  • Matty: If we eat that whole brownie, we're gonna immediately grow dreadlocks.

  • Matty: [to Ned] You aren't too smart, are you? I like that in a man.

    Ned: What else do you like? Lazy? Ugly? Horny? I got 'em all.

    Matty: You don't look lazy.

  • Ned: You can stand here with me if you want but you'll have to agree not to talk about the heat.

    Matty: I'm a married woman.

    Ned: Meaning what?

    Matty: Meaning I'm not looking for company.

    Ned: Then you should have said I'm a happily married woman.

  • Ned: Maybe you shouldn't dress like that.

    Matty: This is a blouse and a skirt. I don't know what you're talking about.

    Ned: You shouldn't wear that body.

  • Ned: Can I buy you a drink?

    Matty: I told you. I've got a husband.

    Ned: I'll buy him one too.

    Matty: He's out of town.

    Ned: My favorite kind. We'll drink to him.

    Matty: Only comes up on weekends.

    Ned: I'm liking him better all the time.

  • Ned: I need someone to take care of me, someone to rub my tired muscles, smooth out my sheets.

    Matty: Get married.

    Ned: I just need it for tonight.

  • Matty: Would you get me a paper towel or something? Dip it in some cold water.

    Ned: Right away. I'll even wipe if off for you.

    Matty: You don't want to lick it?

  • Matty: What are you doing in Pine Haven?

    Ned: I'm no yokel, I was all the way to Miami once.

  • Ned: I like this place; it's got a nice feel.

    Matty: You were on top.

    Ned: So it could use a better mattress. See to it, will you?

    Matty: Yes, sir.

  • Matty: Ned, this is Mary Ann.

    Mary Ann: We were just meeting. Ned made me feel very welcome.

  • Matty: Well, some men, once they get a whiff of it, they trail you like a hound.

  • Matty: My temperature runs a couple of degrees high, around a hundred. I don't mind. It's the engine or something.

    Ned: Maybe you need a tune up.

    Matty: Don't tell me. You have just the right tool.

  • Matty: Cops are involved.

    Chris Scarpa: Dirty fucking cops.

    Teddy Deserve: Yeah, he said cops.

  • [first lines]

    Jim Beale: [from control booth] Balance metric pressure at 057.

    Matty: [working in full suit] Metric pressure sustaining 057. Releasing valves.

    Jim Beale: Prepare to load M.R.D.

    Matty: Radioactivity meters online, ready for exposure.

  • Vera: Mom, are you taking a bath?

    Matty: No, a big black guy is giving me a massage...

  • Johnny: Do you know what they say in Italy?

    Johnny: 'Ti Amo'

    Matty: D'you know what they say in Ledeberg?

    Matty: 'Kiss my ass!'

  • Susan: Matty, I love you.

    Matty: How can I love you back, when I don't even love myself?

  • Matty: How do you answer a question that, you know, that...

    Therapist: Have you looked at your life, are you satisfied with what and where you are in your life? What do you want to be different?

    Matty: Ah, I want to be free... of my past. I want, I want...

    Therapist: Well, what comes to mind, what are your options?

    Matty: That's the problem, I mean what do I, what do I do? I can't get on with my life until I... solve... my past.

    Therapist: And you say you have these nagging thoughts that you did something terrible. Has anybody ever supported those thoughts? Anyone?

    Matty: No.

    Therapist: So this is all in your mind...

Browse more character quotes from Pixels (2015)