Matheson Quotes in Pineapple Express (2008)

Budlofsky: [Matheson is smoking weed] No, I can't. My wife can always tell. She can smell it on my sweater.

Matheson: [laughs] You want my vest? It smell good.

Budlofsky: It's not my style.

Matheson: You ain't got no style, muthafucka.

Matheson: Red, this is your last chance. You gonna give us something we can use?

Red: Matheson, you gotta be kidding me, man. What more do you want? I told you the guy's name was Dale Denton. He's obviously working with Saul. They came in here, they busted my house to shit, they kicked the hell out of me, and then duct-taped me to my grandfather's wheelchair. What more do you want me to tell you? Want me to read your horoscope?

Matheson: You hear that, Ted?

Ted Jones: [on the phone] Okay, ask if either of them were Asian.

Matheson: What skin color were they?

Red: They were white people. Denton might've been a Jew. I don't know. I don't judge people based on things like that. Obviously, we're friends.

Matheson: Ted, you hear him?

Ted Jones: Dale Denton. Not Asian. All right, kill Red.

Red: Man, listen, I would just appreciate it if both of y'all would take your shoes off. This is brand-new carpet. You're tracking mud in here. Matheson, you got British Knights on. I ain't seen anybody wear them since 1987-...

[Matheson shoots Red]

Matheson: [to Budlofsky] You used to be fierce. You used to be ruthless!

Budlofsky: Hey! How about a little fuckin' discretion!

Matheson: What abo- you catch that? you see that? You use to not give a fuck about discretion. I seen't you break somebody's jawbone off! I SEEN'T it! You was ruthless man! ruthless!

Dale Denton: You killed my ear!

Matheson: You shot me!

Dale Denton: I didn't do that!

Matheson: HE shot me!

Dale Denton: You shot him?

Saul: nods his head

Matheson: Get your hands off me!

Saul: Shut up! we've had enough of you!

Matheson: I'm not your friend!

Matheson: You know you gonna die right?

Saul: [sadly] Yeah...

Matheson: I'm gonna kill the fuck out you... I hope you enjoy these last... 17 minutes of your life... cause when Ted gets here, he's gonna be like, 'Kill that motha fucker, kill that motha fuckin ass'... watch your head!

Matheson: [Saul has smashed a coffee pot in Matheson's face, leaving huge scars] I look like the Hamburglar.

Matheson: Well, lookie here. Mr. Folgers. What's up, sir?

Matheson: You know you gonna die, right?

Saul: Yeah.

Matheson: I'm gonna kill the fuck out of you! I hope you enjoy these last seventeen minutes of your life.

Matheson: [to Budlosky] I may act tough, but i got a lot of feelings, and you hurt damn near everyone of them.

Budlofsky: [Matheson punches Saul] Stand back! Ted wants him alive!

Matheson: Why're you holding me back?

Budlofsky: Ted wants him alive, okay?

Matheson: I should be kicking his fucking teeth in!

Budlofsky: If anybody's gonna beat him up, it's gonna be Ted.

Matheson: I look like Hamburglar! And the Elephant Man!

Saul: You look like someone fucked you up with a coffee pot, man!

Budlofsky: Professional. Professional.

Saul: Professional on this, bitch!

Matheson: [to Saul] Whatever, man.

[to Budlofsky]

Matheson: And where were you?

Budlofsky: I was there!

Matheson: You're supposed to be my partner!

Budlofsky: I was there!

Matheson: No, you wasn't there! How did this happen, then?

Saul: He's got good reflexes, man.

Matheson: [clapping hands together] This is so exciting!

Matheson: [pulling Saul's leg] Tear this ass up!

[Matheson kills Budlofsky for refusing to refusing to shoot Saul when he had the chance]

Matheson: I knew you were going soft. Dinner's gonna be cold tonight, asshole!

Saul: Fucked up, man.

Matheson: [Points his gun at Saul] Well looky here, Mr. Forges. Wussup, Saul?

Saul: Look, I didn't want to hit you, man...

Matheson: SHUT THE FUCK UP! You think you was gonna get me, motherfucker? Huh? You need to set your little sexy ass down and watch yourself get killed now!

Saul: Alright! You know what, if this is how it's gonna be, alright. Silence!

[Red drives his car into the barn, killing Matheson]

Matheson: Shut the fuck up! Do you know what shut the fuck up mean?