Mater Quotes in Cars 3 (2017)

Mater: [to Lightning McQueen on a computer] You know what I'd do?

Lightning McQueen: What?

Mater: ...I don't know. I got nothin'.

Mater: [to Sterling] You are not a nice guy! But you sure do make a quality mud flap at a reasonable price.

Mater: Go McQueen!

Finn McMissile: I never properly introduced myself: Finn McMissile, British Intelligence.

Mater: Tow Mater, average intelligence.

Mater: [after being served a whole plate of wasabi] Now that's a scoop of ice cream.

Sushi Chef: [in Japanese] My condolences.

Francesco Bernoulli: [at the Tokyo World Grand Prix party, Francesco spots Lightning] Ah! Lightning McQueen! Bona seda!

Lightning McQueen: Uh, nice to meet you, Francesco.

Francesco Bernoulli: Yes, nice to meet you too. You are very good looking. Not as good as I thought, but you're good!

Mater: 'Scuse me, can I get a picture with you?

[drives next to Francesco]

Francesco Bernoulli: Ah, anything for McQueen's friend.

Mater: Miss Sally is gonna flip when she sees this!

[Lightning sighs]

Mater: She's Lightning McQueen's girlfriend.

Francesco Bernoulli: Ooh...

Mater: She's a big fan of yers.

Francesco Bernoulli: Hey, she has a-good taste.

Lightning McQueen: Well, Mater's prone to exaggeration; I wouldn't say she's a "big fan".

Mater: You're right. She's a HUGE fan! She goes on and on about your open wheels here.

[He taps Francesco's left front wheel]

Lightning McQueen: Well, mentioning it once doesn't qualify as going "on and on".

Francesco Bernoulli: Francesco is familiar with this... reaction to Francesco. Women respect a car that has a-nothing to hide.

Lightning McQueen: Yeah, uh...

[fake-laughs and shakes his frame "no" while falsely smiling]

Mater: Oh, for a second there I thought you was trying to fix my dents.

Holley Shiftwell: Yes, I was.

Mater: Well then, no thank you. I don't get them dents buffed, pulled, filled or painted by nobody. They way too valuble.

Holley Shiftwell: Your dents are valuble? Really?

Mater: I come by each one of 'em with my best friend Lightning McQueen. I don't fix these. I wanna remember these dents forever.

Mater: I'll have some of that there pistachio ice cream.

Sushi Chef: No, no. Wasabi.

Mater: Oh, same old, same old. What's up with you?

Mater: I call this move "what I accidentally did to my friend Luigi".

Mater: [voice-over reading his letter] "By the time you read this, I'll be safely on an airplane flying home. I'm so sorry for what I did..."

Lightning McQueen: [reading Mater's letter in the hotel lobby] "... I don't want to be the cause of you losing any more races. I want you to go prove to the world what I already know: that you are the greatest race car in the whole wide world. Your best friend, Mater."

Lightning McQueen: [looks up] I didn't really want him to leave.

Luigi: Wait, there's more here...

Luigi: [moves to next page] "P.S. Please tell the hotel I didn't mean to order that movie. I thought it was just a preview and I didn't realize I was paying for it."

[shifts the page]

Luigi: "P.P.S. That's funny right there."

[Shifts the pages around]

Luigi: "P.P..." There's a few more pages of P.S.'s here.

Lightning McQueen: Well, at least I know if he's at home, he'll be safe.

[McQueen is showing Mater his latest Piston Cup, which has been renamed in honor of Doc Hudson, who is implied to have passed away]

Mater: Wow. I can't believe they renamed the Piston Cup after our very own Doc Hudson.

Lightning McQueen: I know Doc said these things were just old cups, but to have someone else win it just didn't feel right, you know?

[McQueen looks sadly at the newspaper article depicting Doc winning his third Piston Cup]

Mater: Well, Doc would've been real proud of you. That's for sure.

[McQueen gives Mater a smile of thanks]

Mater: [Approaches Guido, who is tending the bar] Hey, Guido, what's McQueen's usual?

Guido: Come faccio a saperlo?

[How should I know?]

Mater: Perfect! I'll take two!

[Mater has been outfitted for his undercover mission]

Holley Shiftwell: So Mater, it's voice-activated. But, you know, everything's voice-activated these days.

Mater: What? I thought you was supposed to be making me a dee-sguise.

Mater's Computer: Voice recognized. Disguise program initiated.

[the computer uses a hologram to make Mater look like Ivan, another tow truck]

Mater: Haha. Cool! Hey, computer, make me a German truck!

Mater's Computer: Request acknowledged.

[Mater wears a funny German costume with a green hat]

Mater: Check it out! I'm wearing Materhosen! Make me a monster truck!

Mater's Computer: Request acknowledged.

[Mater wears a vampire costume]

Mater: What the? Hahahaha.

Mater: [Transylvanian accent] I vant to siphon your gas! Haha! Now make me a taco truck!

Mater's Computer: Request acknowledged.

[Mater becomes a white taco truck, and his horn plays "La Cucaracha"]

Mater: A funny car!

Mater's Computer: Request acknowleged.

[He becomes painted yellow with red flames, hot rod exhaust pipes, a hot rod engine, and a spoiler. Mater revs his engine a few times, enjoying the disguise]

Finn McMissile: [turns off the hologram] The idea is to keep a low profile, Mater.

Mater: Do not try the free pistachio ice cream! It done turn!

Finn McMissile: Siddeley? Paris, tout de suite.

Mater: Yeah, two of dem sweets for me too, Sid.

[Finn McMissile has just tricked the lemons into thinking they've killed him after escaping from the oil platform]

Grem: He's dead, Professor.

Professor Zundapp: Wunderbar. With Finn McMissile gone, who can stop us now?

[We cut to Mater driving along Route 66 just outside Radiator Springs]

Mater: Mater, Tow Mater - that's who - is heeere to help you!

Finn McMissile: Mater, what would you say to setting up an informal task force on this one?

Mater: Wait. What?

Finn McMissile: You obviously have plenty of experience in the field.

Mater: Well, yeah, I live right next to one. I don't know, Finn. I ain't exactly been much help to anybody recently.

Finn McMissile: You're helping me. Please, Mater.

Mater: Well, OK. But you know I'm just a tow truck, right?

Finn McMissile: Right. And I'm just in the import-export business.

Mater: [as he and Lightning McQueen are surrounded by The Lemons] Listen fellas... I know what you're goin' through. Many have been laughin' and makin' fun of my my whole life. But becoming rich and powerful beyond your wildest dreams ain't gonna make ya feel better.

Lemon: Yeah, but it's worth a shot!

[raises a machine gun at them when he's suddenly sprayed away by the firetruck and the rest of the Radiator Springs gang attacks the others as well]

Mater: Excuse me, ma'am.

[expels exhaust]

Mater: Dadgum pistachio ice cream.

Holley Shiftwell: This cannot be him.

Finn McMissile: Is he American?

Mater: [swinging his tow cable] Look out, ladies. Mater's fittin' to get funky!

Holley Shiftwell: Extremely.

Mater: [in London] What's everyone on the wrong side of the road for?

Mater: What's a rendezvous?

Luigi: It's like a date.

Mater: A date?

Lightning McQueen: Mater, what's going on?

Mater: Well, what's going on is I've got me a date tomorrow.

Luigi: [Guido speaks Italian] Guido don't believe you.

Mater: Well, believe it. My new girlfriend just said so. Hey, there she is. Hey! Hey lady! See ya tomorrow!

Luigi: [Guido speaks Italian] Guido still don't believe you.

Finn McMissile: Mater, are these cars considered lemons?

Mater: Is the Popemobile Catholic?

Lightning McQueen: The bad guys hit me with the beam from the camera, so, why didn't I... you know.

Mater: Explode in a fiery inferno?

Lightning McQueen: Yeah.

Finn McMissile: We couldn't figure that one out, either.

Holley Shiftwell: Our investigation proved that Allinol was actually gasoline, and Axelrod engineered it so that when it got hit by the beam, it would explode.

Lightning McQueen: Wait a second, Fillmore. You said my fuel was safe.

Fillmore: If you're implying that I switched out that rot-gut excuse for alternative fuel with my all natural sustainable organic bio-fuel, just because I never trusted Axelrod, you're dead wrong man...

[points to Sarge]

Fillmore: It was him.

Sarge: Once big oil, always big oil... man.

Luigi: [at the Tokyo party, Lightning, Mater, Luigi, Guido, Sarge, and Fillmore descend a spiral ramp] Guido, look! Ferraris AND tires! Let's go!

Lightning McQueen: Oh ho ho! Look at this! Okay, now Mater, remember - best behavior.

Mater: You got it, buddy. Hey! What's that?

[drives off]

Lightning McQueen: No, Mater!

Lewis Hamilton: [offscreen] Hey, McQueen! Over here!

Lightning McQueen: [Lightning joins them] Lewis!

Lewis Hamilton: Hey, man.

Lightning McQueen: Jeff!

Jeff Gorvette: Hey, Lightning! Can you believe this party?

Mater: [drives over to a small isolated room with glass walls on all sides, with a zen garden and zen master inside; he taps on the glass with his hook] Hey! you done good, you got all the leaves!

Jeff Gorvette: Check out that tow truck!

Lewis Hamilton: Man, I wonder who that guy's with.

Lightning McQueen: Uh, heh heh. Will you guys excuse me for one little second?

[heads towards Mater]

[Mater has exposed the head of the lemon gang and saved the day]

Lightning McQueen: It's official. You're coming to all my races from now on.

Mater: Now you're talkin'.

[the two friends give each other a "high-wheel"]

Lightning McQueen: Look, Mater, we're not in Radiator Springs.

Mater: You're just noticing that? Boy, that jet lag really done a number on you.

Mater: You know, I always wanted to be a spy.

Lightning McQueen: [driving on train tracks into a tunnel] Mater?

Mater: Relax. These tracks ain't been used in years.

[train horn sounds]

Mater: McQueen, they're gonna kill you!

Mater: I knew it! I knowed I made a good choice!

Lightning McQueen: In what?

Mater: My bes' friend.

Lightning McQueen: I'm serious! He's won three Piston Cups!

Mater: [spits out fuel] He did WHAT in his cup?

Lightning McQueen: You know, I've really missed you Sally.

Sally: Well, I create feelings in others that they themselves don't understand, and blah blah blah blah...

[Both lean in to kiss]

Mater: McQueen and Sally, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S- uh... I-N-T!

Lightning McQueen: Great timing, Mater!

Lightning McQueen: Oh, I am SO not taking you to dinner.

Sally: That's OK, Stickers. You can take Bessie.

Mater: Oh, man, you get to work with Bessie! I'd give my left two lugnuts for somethin' like that!

Lightning McQueen: I thought you said you'd never come back.

Doc Hudson: Well, I really didn't have a choice. Mater didn't get to say goodbye.

Mater: GOODBYE! Okay, I'm good.

Mater: Ain't no need to watch where I'm goin'; just need to know where I've been.

Lightning McQueen: Will you stop that?

Mater: Stop what?

Lightning McQueen: That driving backwards. It's creeping me out. You're gonna wreck or something.

Mater: Wreck? Shoot! I'm the world's best backwards driver! Just watch this right here, lover boy.

Mater: I'm happier 'n a tornado in a trailer park!

Doc Hudson: All right, I wanna know who's responsible for wrecking my town, Sheriff. I want his hood on a platter! I'm gonna put him in jail 'til he rots. No, check that... I'm gonna put him in jail 'til the jail rots on top of him, then I'm gonna move him to a new jail and let that jail rot. I'm...

[Doc finally spots Lightning]

Doc Hudson: Throw him outta here, Sheriff! I want him out of my courtroom, I want him out of our town! Case dismissed!

Lightning McQueen: Yes!

Mater: Boy, I'm pretty good at this lawyerin' stuff!

Mater: [Fishing something from the bottom of a cliff] Look at this! It's my hood! It's my hood! I ain't seen this thing in twenty years!

[Puts it on]

Mater: Well, it fits perfectly. How do I look?

[Sneezes, the hood falls back down the cliff]

Mater: Aw, dang.

Sheriff: Mater! What did I tell you about talking to the accused?

Mater: To not to.

Mater: [after Lightning loses the case and is sentenced to repair the road] Hey, I know this may be a bad time right now, but you owe me $32,000 in legal fees.

Lightning McQueen: What?

[McQueen is going to surprise Sally with his new look]

Mater: Here she comes!

Lightning McQueen: Okay, places, everybody! Hurry! Act natural.

[McQueen hides and everybody else gets in a perfectly straight line as Sally approaches]

Mater, Ramone, Flo, Luigi, Sarge, Fillmore: Hi, Sally!

Sally: All right, what's going on?

Mater: Git-R-Done!

Mater: McQueen and Sally parked beneath the tree / K-I-S-somethin'-somethin'-somethin'-T.

[tractors have stampeded the town]

Sheriff: MATER!

Mater: I wasn't tractor-tippin'!

Sheriff: Then where'd all these gol-darn tractors come from?

Lightning McQueen: I need to get to California pronto. Where am I?

Mater: Where are ya? Shoot! You're in Radiator Springs, the cutest little town in Carburetor County.

Mater: [Out tractor tipping] I tell you what, buddy, it just don't get better than this.

Lightning McQueen: Yep, you're living the dream, Mater boy.

Mater: You know, I once knew this girl Doreen. Good-looking girl. Looked just like a Jaguar, only she was a truck! You know, I used to crash into her just so I could speak to her.

Lightning McQueen: What... are you talking about?

Mater: I dunno.

Mater: My name is Mater.

Lightning McQueen: Mater?

Mater: Yeah, like tuh-mater, but without the "tuh."

Sally: Hey there, Mater.

Mater: Howdy, Sally!

Sally: Hi, folks!

[crowd murmuring greetings back]

Lightning McQueen: [to Mater] You know her?

Mater: She's the town attorney - and my fiancée.

Lightning McQueen: What?

Mater: [nudges McQueen playfully] I'm just kiddin'. She jus' likes me for my body.

Lightning McQueen: Officer, talk to me, babe. How long is this gonna take? I gotta get to California, pronto.

Sheriff: Where's your lawyer?

Lightning McQueen: I don't know. Tahiti, maybe? He's got a time share there.

Sheriff: When the defendant has no lawyer, the court will assign one to him. Hey, anyone wants to be his lawyer?

[Everyone backs up except Mater]

Mater: Shoot, I'll do it, Sheriff!

Mater: I don't care who you are, that's funny right there.

Mater: [hurriedly] Hey, listen, listen! If anybody asks you, we was out smashin' mailboxes, OK?

Mater: [in a scared voice as a spotlight hits Lightning] It's the ghostlight!

Kathy Copter: We have found McQueen. We have found McQueen.

Lightning McQueen: I'm a precision instrument of speed and aerodynamics.

Mater: You hurt your what?

Mater: What's your name?

Lightning McQueen: You... you don't know my name?

Mater: No, uh... no, I know your name. Is your name Mater too?

Mater: Maybe I should've uh... hooked him up to Bessie... and *then,* uh... then took the boot off.

Mater: When I say go, we go. But don't let Frank catch yeh. Go!

[speeds off]

Mater: Tractors is so dumb.

Lightning McQueen: [about Red, who just ran away after McQueen asked a favor of him] Where's he going?

Mater: Oh, he's just a little bit shy, and he hates you for killin' his flowers.

Mater: We'll talk later, Mater... hehe - later, Mater - that's funny!

Flo: Whoo! Watchin' him is makin' me thirsty. Anybody else want somethin' to drink?

Mater: Nah, not me, Flo. I'm on one of them there special diets. I am a precisional instrument of speed and aeromatics.

Lightning McQueen: [Tar falls on his bolt sticker] Aw, man, that's just great!

Mater: Hey, what's wrong?

Lightning McQueen: My lucky sticker's all dirty.

Mater: Ah, that ain't nothin'. I'll clean it for ya.

[Starts snorting and hacking]

Lightning McQueen: No, no, no, no! That won't be necessary.

Mater: Boy, I tell you what. I bet the roads on the moon ain't this smooth.

Mater: That's Frank!

[speeds away]

Mater: [looks down the road at the damage Lightning has to fix] HOLY SHOOT!

Lightning McQueen: [to Red the fire truck] Hey! Hey, big fella! Yeah, you in the red! I could use a little hose down. Help me wash this off.

[Red backs away nervously]

Lightning McQueen: Where's he goin'?

Mater: Oh, he's just a little bit shy, and he hates ya for killin' his flowers.