Master Doe Quotes in Kung Pow: Enter the Fist (2002)

Master Doe: I have a mortal wound.

Master Tang: Where? Where does it hurt?

Master Doe: Oh, pretty much around the big bloody spot.

Master Tang: I remember a long time ago, when a friend told me there would be a chosen one.

[flashback to a younger Tang talking to Master Doe]

Master Doe: There will be a chosen one.

Master Tang: He then told me of the significance.

[flashback]

Master Doe: It will be significant.

Master Tang: And then he killed the dog.

[flashback, Master Doe closes his eyes, we hear a fart then a dog whimper]

Chosen One: I now officially know too much, and why are you in bed?

Master Tang: Oh, you wouldn't believe what happened next...

Chosen One: [flashback begins] No wait, please!

Master Tang: If you insist.

Master Doe: Uhh, water, everywhere. All over me, I'm getting wet. I am falling, you are falling, we are falling!

[shouts]

Master Doe: A whale!

[the Chosen One is preparing to fight Master Betty. A man comes up to him]

Master Doe: Wait! You are not ready!

Chosen One: Who are you?

Master Doe: Ling's father! Wee-Ohh Wee-Ohh Wee-Ohh-Wee!

Chosen One: Oh, dear.

Master Doe: Please, I'm dying, you must listen to me. I fear the Chosen One may give up hope, this must not happen. The creature in his tongue, although a little disturbing, possesses great supernatural powers. Without Tonguey, the Council is invincible, they will come to Betty's aid. Do you understand that?

Master Tang: [Nods head up and down] No. I do not understand.

Master Doe: Let me know if you see a Radio Shack.