Marty the Zebra Quotes in Madagascar (2005)

[Marty the Zebra and Alex the Lion running towards each other on the beach in slow motion with arms outstretched and Chariots of Fire music]

Alex the Lion: Marty!

Marty the Zebra: Alex!

Alex the Lion: Marty!

Marty the Zebra: Alex!

Alex the Lion: Marty!

Marty the Zebra: Alex!

Alex the Lion: [angrily] Marty!

Marty the Zebra: [afraid] Alex?

Alex the Lion: [real-time] Marty!

Marty the Zebra: Oh, Sugar Honey Ice Tea!

Marty the Zebra: I'm ten years old. My life is half over and I don't even know if I'm black with white stripes or white with black stripes!

Marty the Zebra: Grand Central Station. It's grand, and it's central.

Skipper the Penguin: You, quadruped. Sprechen Sie Englisch?

Marty the Zebra: I sprechen.

Skipper the Penguin: What continent is this?

Marty the Zebra: Manhattan.

Skipper the Penguin: Hoover Dam! We're still in New York! Abort! Dive! Dive! Dive!

Marty the Zebra: What are you guys doing?

Private the Penguin: We're digging to Antartica!

[Skipper smacks Private]

Marty the Zebra: An-who-tica?

Skipper the Penguin: Can you keep a secret, my monochromatic friend?

[Marty looks around and nods]

Skipper the Penguin: Do you ever see any penguins running free around New York City?

[Marty shakes his head]

Skipper the Penguin: Of course not. We don't belong here. It's just not natural. This is all some kind of wacked out conspiracy. We're going to the wide open spaces of Antarctica! To the wild!

Alex the Lion: Today was a great day. It just doesn't get any better than this, you know? Oh, look, it just did. Even the star is out. You won't find a star like that in the wild.

Marty the Zebra: Helicopter.

Julian: Welcome to Madagascar.

Marty the Zebra: Mada-who-ah?

Julian: No. Not who-ah. As-car.

Melman the Giraffe: [Melman presents Marty with a gift-wrapped thermometer]

Marty the Zebra: Aw a thermometer!Thanks!I love it Melman, I love it!

[he puts it in his mouth and poses]

Melman the Giraffe: I really wanted to give you a personal present. Do you know that was my first rectal thermometer?

Marty the Zebra: Motherf...

[Marty spits it out and retches]

Marty the Zebra: Did you ever think that there might be more to live than steak, Alex?

Alex the Lion: [to his steak] He didn't mean that, baby. No, no, no.

Marty the Zebra: Alex, do not interrupt me when I'm daydreaming. If a zebra's in the zone, leave him alone.

[first lines]

Alex the Lion: Surprise!

Marty the Zebra: Aaahhh! Alex! Do not interrupt me when I'm daydreaming. When a zebra's in the zone, leave him alone.

Marty the Zebra: [whispering] It's the man!

Marty the Zebra: Who is it?

Alex the Lion: It's the pizza man. Who the heck do you think it is?

Marty the Zebra: Come on, Alex. Do you honestly think I intended all of this to happen? You want me to say I'm sorry? Is that what you want? Okay, I'm so...

Alex the Lion: Shush!

Marty the Zebra: He just shushed me.

Gloria the Hippo: Look, Alex, you have to be more understanding...

Alex the Lion: Shush!

Gloria the Hippo: Don't you shush me!

Alex the Lion: Do you hear that? Can't you hear that?

Marty the Zebra: You guys look hungry. How would you like some of nature's goodness?

Gloria the Hippo: You have food?

Marty the Zebra: One Fun Side special, coming up. Seaweed on a stick.

Alex the Lion: Seaweed?

Marty the Zebra: On a stick. Don't love it 'till you try it.

Gloria the Hippo: Melman! Are you okay?

Melman the Giraffe: Yeah. I often doze off while I'm getting an MRI.

Alex the Lion: Melman, you're not getting an MRI.

Melman the Giraffe: CAT scan?

Alex the Lion: No! No CAT scan! It's a transfer! It's a zoo transfer!

Melman the Giraffe: Zoo transfer? Oh, no. No, no. I can't be transferred. I have an appointment with Dr. Goldberg at five. There are prescriptions that have to be filled! No other zoo can afford my medical care! And I am NOT going HMO!

Marty the Zebra: Take it easy, Melman. We are gonna be o-kizzay.

Alex the Lion: No, we're not gonna be o-kizzay! Because of you, we're ruined!

Marty the Zebra: [about King Julian] He's got style.

Alex the Lion: What is he, like, king of the guinea pigs?

Melman the Giraffe: I think it's a squirrel.

Julian: Welcome, giant pansies. Please feel free to bask in my glow.

Alex the Lion: Definitely a squirrel.

Melman the Giraffe: Yep, a squirrel.

Marty the Zebra: This place is crackalacking. Oh, I could hang here. I could hang here.

Gloria the Hippo: Come on, we are New Yorkers, right?

Marty the Zebra: Yeah.

Gloria the Hippo: We're tough! We're gritty!

Marty the Zebra: Yeah!

Gloria the Hippo: We're adaptable!

Melman the Giraffe: Yeah!

Gloria the Hippo: And we are not gonna lay down like a bunch of Melmans!

Melman the Giraffe: No, we're not!

Julian: Wait! I have a plan.

Maurice: Really?

Julian: I have devised a cunning test to see whether these are savage killers.

[Julian kicks Mort out in the open]

Marty the Zebra: Hi there!

Alex the Lion: No, I will handle this. Alex handles it. Marty says nothing.

[approaches the frightened Mort]

Alex the Lion: Hi there!

[Mort starts to cry]

Alex the Lion: Oh, geez!

Melman the Giraffe: Oh, Alex. What did you do?

Alex the Lion: No, it's okay, it's okay. I'm just a silly, just a silly lion.

[Mort cries louder]

Alex the Lion: Oh, jeez!

Alex the Lion: The wild? Are you nuts? That is the worst idea I have ever heard!

Melman the Giraffe: It's unsanitary!

Marty the Zebra: The penguins are going, so why can't I?

Alex the Lion: The penguins are psychotic!

Marty the Zebra: Here, have a drink.

Alex the Lion: [Spits it out] This is sea water!

Marty the Zebra: [Spits out his drink] Oh, you don't swallow it. This is just temporary until the plumbing comes in.

Marty the Zebra: You the cat.

Alex the Lion: Who's the cat?

Marty the Zebra: You the cat.

Alex the Lion: Who's the cat?

Marty the Zebra: You the cat.

Alex the Lion: Who's the cat?

Marty the Zebra: You the cat.

Alex the Lion: Who's the cat?

Marty the Zebra: You the cat.

Alex the Lion: Who's the cat?

Gloria the Hippo: It's not people, it's animals.

Melman the Giraffe: California animals. Dude.

Marty the Zebra: This is like a Puffy party.

Gloria the Hippo: What kind of zoo is this?

Melman the Giraffe: I just saw twenty-six blatant health code violations.

Marty the Zebra: I'm loving San Diego. This place is off the chizain.

Melman the Giraffe: Twenty-seven.

Marty the Zebra: [doing armpit farts] Yeah! You don't see that on Animal Planet.

Marty the Zebra: Okay! You all have your side, and I'll have mine. And, if you need me, I'll be over here! On the FUN side of the island, havin' a good ol' time. A great ol' time! A GREAT ol' time. A yabba-dabba-doo ol' time! WILMA!

Alex the Lion: That's not the fun side. THIS is the fun side! This is the fun side where we're gonna have a great time surviving until we go home! Whoo! I love this side; this side's the best! That side STINKS! You're on the JERSEY side of this cesspool!

Melman the Giraffe: Well, now what do we do?

Alex the Lion: Don't worry Melman, I have a plan to get us rescued.

Zoo Animal: Shut up, shut up, shut up! I'm trying to sleep? Not everyone here is nocturnal, you know!

Marty the Zebra: Hey, I'll knock your turnal right off, pal!

Alex the Lion: You know, by the time we get back to New York, it'll be the middle of winter. So I was thinking, why rush? Maybe we could make a few sidestops along the way.

Marty the Zebra: How about Paris?

Gloria the Hippo: Ooh, you've read my mind.

Alex the Lion: I was thinking Spain.

Marty the Zebra: Yeah. A little running with the bulls.

Gloria the Hippo: How about Fiji?

Melman the Giraffe: Or Canada? Can't we? Cheap meds. Huh?

Marty the Zebra: I'll be here all week. In fact, I'll be here my entire life. 365 days a year, including Christmas, Hannukah, Halloween, Kwanzaa. Please be sure to never spay or neuter your pets, and tip your cabbie, 'cause he's broke.

Marty the Zebra: Hey, have a drink. It's on the house.

Alex the Lion: [drinks water then spits it out] This is seawater!

Marty the Zebra: Oh, you don't swallow it.

[whispers]

Marty the Zebra: It's just temporary 'til the plumbing's done.

Marty the Zebra: Gonna be fresh today. Straight off the ground. Tasting fresh. Freshalicious. Ziploc fresh.

Alex the Lion: I'm gonna kill you, Marty!

Marty the Zebra: Take it easy! Take it easy!

Alex the Lion: And strangle you!

Marty the Zebra: Calm down!

Alex the Lion: Then I'm gonna bury you, then dig you up and clone you, and kill all your clones!

Marty the Zebra: 20-second time-out!

Alex the Lion: And then I'm never talking to you again!

Marty the Zebra: Excuse me, you're biting my butt!

Marty the Zebra: You're biting my butt!

Alex the Lion: [with Marty's butt in his mouth] No, I'm not.

[Maurice just told Marty that he was steak]

Marty the Zebra: Oh, c'mon! Do I look like a steak to you?

Alex the Lion: Yeah!

Marty the Zebra: See I told you I don't look like no... wait, what'd you say?

Alex the Lion: Don't worry, everything's under control. We just had a little situation here. Just a little internal situation. Our friend just went a little crazy. Happens to everybody. The city gets to us all. Just went a little cuckoo in the head.

Marty the Zebra: Don't you be calling me cuckoo in the head!

Gloria the Hippo: Lets, go. Make a wish babycakes.

[Marty blows out the candle and eats a chunk out of his birthday cake]

Alex the Lion: Come on, what you wish for?

Marty the Zebra: Nope! Can't tell you that.

Alex the Lion: Come on, tell.

Alex the Lion: No siree. I'm telling you'a, its bad luck. You want some bad luck, I'll blab it out, But if you want to be safe, I'll keep my mouth shut.

Gloria the Hippo: [interrupting] Could you just tell us? I mean, really. What could happen?

Marty the Zebra: Okay. I wish I could go... To the wild!

Alex the Lion: The wild?

[After Marty says this, Alex falls off the wall, Melman chokes himself and Gloria opens her mouth in shock]

Marty the Zebra: I told you it was bad luck.

[Gloria tries to stop Melman from choking]

Alex the Lion: The wild? Are you nuts? That is the worst ideal I've ever heard.

[Melman spits out what was choking him]

Melman the Giraffe: It's unsanitary.

Marty the Zebra: The penguins are going. So why can't I?

Alex the Lion: The penguins are psychotic.

Marty the Zebra: Come on, Just imagine going back to nature. Back to your roots, clean air, wide-open spaces!

Gloria the Hippo: Well, I hear they have wide-open spaces in Connecticut.

Marty the Zebra: Connecticut?

Melman the Giraffe: Yeah. What you gotta do is you go over to Grand Central, and then you gotta take the Metro-North Tran... North?

Marty the Zebra: So one could take the train? Just Hypothetically.

Alex the Lion: Marty, come on. What would Connecticut have to offer us?

Melman the Giraffe: Lyme disease.

Alex the Lion: Thank you Melman.

Marty the Zebra: No, no really, really. I just want...

Alex the Lion: There's certainly none of this in the wild

[Waves a steak at Marty]

Marty the Zebra: But... but... but...

Alex the Lion: This is a highly refined type of food thing. That you do not find in the wild.

Police Horse: What you got to do is go straight back down west 42rd.

Marty the Zebra: Uh huh.

Police Horse: It's on your left, after Vanderbilt.

Marty the Zebra: Okay.

Police Horse: If you hit the Chrysler building, you're gone too far.

Marty the Zebra: Alright. Thanks a lot, Officer.

[Marty walks away]

Police Horse: Hey! Wait for the light... Freak

Police radio: [a police officer is on top of the house talking to his police radio] Did you say "zebra"?

Police Officer: Yeah, yeah, that's right. A Zebra, right in front of me. Can I shoot it?

Police radio: Negative.

Police Officer: Then I'm going to need some backup.