Martini Quotes in Under the Tuscan Sun (2003)

Martini: Signora, between Austria and Italy, there is a section of the Alps called the Semmering. It is an impossibly steep, very high part of the mountains. They built a train track over these Alps to connect Vienna and Venice. They built these tracks even before there was a train in existence that could make the trip. They built it because they knew some day, the train would come.

Frances: Do you know the most surprising thing about divorce? It doesn't actually kill you. Like a bullet to the heart or a head-on car wreck. It should. When someone you've promised to cherish till death do you part says "I never loved you," it should kill you instantly. You shouldn't have to wake up day after day after that, trying to understand how in the world you didn't know. The light just never went on, you know. I must have known, of course, but I was too scared to see the truth. Then fear just makes you so stupid.

Martini: No, it's not stupid, Signora Mayes. L'amore e cieco.

Frances: Oh, love is blind. Yeah, we have that saying too.

Martini: Everybody has that saying because it's true everywhere.

Martini: Signora. Please stop being so sad. If you continue like this, I will be forced to make love to you. And I've never been unfaithful to my wife.

Frances: What are you thinking?

Martini: What do I think?

Frances: Tell me.

Martini: I think you got your wish.

Frances: My wish?

Martini: On that day we looked for your snake, you said to me that you wanted there to be a wedding here. And then you said you wanted there to be a family here.

Frances: You're right... I got my wish. I got everything I asked for.

[the inmates are playing cards and betting with cigarettes]

Martini: [rips a cigarette in half] I bet a nickel.

McMurphy: Dime's the limit, Martini.

Martini: I bet a dime.

[Puts the two halves onto the table]

McMurphy: This is not a dime, Martini. This is a dime.

[shows a whole cigarette]

McMurphy: If you break it in half, you don't get two nickels, you get shit. Try and smoke it. You understand?

Martini: Yes.

McMurphy: You don't understand.

Martini: [looking in the bait bucket on the fishing boat] Little fishes.

McMurphy: That's right, Martini, and what are we gonna do with these little fishes?

Martini: [grins] Catch big fishes.

[Lt. D'Agosta and Det. Hollingsworth show up to the crime scene in the bathroom]

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta: This is not good.

Martini: Never thought there'd be a worse way to die than a shark attack. Having my head ripped off never occurred to me.

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta: Where is his head?

Det. Hollingsworth: It's over there by the sink.

Margo Green: [Dr. Green walks into the crime scene mistakenly] Lieutenant D'Agosta...

[screaming at the dead body and blood across the room]

Margo Green: Oh, my God! Oh!

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta: Get her out of here!

Bradley: Lieutenant! Over here.

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta: [Det. Hollingsworth attempts to walk over the dead body] No! Don't step over it

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta: [Det. Hollingsworth brings his leg back to walk around the body] It's bad luck. Jesus Christ.

Bradley: There's a half-burnt joint on the floor.

[chuckling]

Bradley: Seems our boy was having a little pot in the potty.

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta: Pot's a misdemeanor. Decapitation seems a bit severe.

[the forensics team member continues to chuckle]

Lt. Vincent D'Agosta: I want the blood on the walls. Get a ballistic analysis. Pinpoint source, speed, force - Full splatter pattern.