Martin Daniels Quotes in Clifford (1994)
Martin Daniels Quotes:
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Clifford: Uncle Martin, save me!... Uncle Martin?
Martin Daniels: I'm thinking it over!
Clifford: Please?, I'm scared!
Martin Daniels: Well I'm scared about what might happen if I save you. You know, I should do mankind a tremendous favor and let that dinosaur eat you. I mean, who knows what horrors you might unleash, or what if you got your hands on some plutonium?
Martin Daniels: [mocking Clifford] I just made the bestest nuclear bomb in the whole wide world.
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Martin Daniels: [gets furious again] I suppose Sarah's father also put the hot sauce in my drink!
Clifford: That I don't know.
Martin Daniels: You don't?
Clifford: No.
Martin Daniels: [yells] You don't?
Clifford: No.
Martin Daniels: You DONT?
Clifford: No!
Martin Daniels: [yells] You have no idea who did that?
Clifford: I would suspect the bartender. Theory.
Martin Daniels: [screams] Well, you know, I WOULD SUSPECT SOMEONE ELSE! Now who could that be?
Clifford: If you are about to say what I think you're about to say, then I don't wanna hear it! Because Sarah Davis loves you, Uncle Martin. She wouldn't do that. Oh, she has problems with you, but every relationship goes with that.
[Martin turns a frown as he doesn't believe Clifford, citing him as the perpetrator]
Clifford: Oh. Oh, y-you don't think it was me.
[tries to grab him]
Clifford: Oh, Uncle Martin...
Martin Daniels: Ah!
[pulls away from him; screams again]
Martin Daniels: And I had to be made naked in the jail! I was strip searched! I was humiliated!
Clifford: [sobs] I know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I made the tape. Oh, God, it was wrong, Uncle Martin. Then why did I do it? Why? I think I know why. Because I was so angry at you for having promised that you would take me to Dinosaur World and then breaking that promise, Uncle Martin.
Martin Daniels: [yells] What is it with you and Dinosaur World? It's a sick thing! It's like you're obsessed with this Dinosaur World!
Clifford: I believe that Dinosaur World is the only place where a boy like me can be happy.
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Sarah Davis: See Clifford, didn't I tell you everything would be alright?
Clifford: Yes you did Miss Sarah, but I don't like those men. They're liars, and everybody knows that liars eventually get caught.
Martin Daniels: Yeah that's right you little peckerhead.
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Clifford: Any luck with that chocolate?
Martin Daniels: [mocking Clifford] Any luck with that chocolate? Any luck with that chocolate?
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Martin Daniels: If you even look at me wrong. If you do one thing that I find weird, which is, you know, like, your middle name... See? You're doing it right now. Can you just act like a human boy for one minute here? Look at me like a person! You can't do it for more than a few seconds. Look at me like a human boy!
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Martin Daniels: Well there it is, Clifford, Dinosaur World. Are you happy?
Clifford: I'd say I'm the happiest boy in the whole wide world, Uncle Mental Case.
Martin Daniels: I'm the mental case? You're the one in the strait jacket.
Clifford: I imagine when they put you in yours, you'll need a much larger one, sir.
Martin Daniels: That's cute.
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Martin Daniels: I have a criminal record. But you know what you're gonna have? You're gonna have a one-way ticket back to your parents!
Clifford: Don't send me back to my parents, they hate me!
Martin Daniels: Not as much as I do!
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[Clifford procures Stephen from Uncle Martin]
Clifford: He says please don't hurt him, he's the only one left in his family.
Martin Daniels: Just go to your room and write your confession! Pretty soon there won't be anyone left in his family!
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Martin Daniels: Don't worry about Clifford, he'll be fine if you give him a ton of sugar and a book about Hitler.
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Martin Daniels: What do you mean you're out of chocolate? How can that be?
Cashier: Everybody want chocolate. I'm out of chocolate.
Martin Daniels: I NEED CHOCOLATE!
Cashier: Alright, alright, I might have an Easter Bunny left over in the frige.
Martin Daniels: [grabs him by the lapels] Get me the bunny!
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Clifford: I'm sorry
Martin Daniels: [pushes Clifford away as he tries to hug him] NO, NO, Clifford don't, I don't want to hug you. I can't imagine anyone ever wanting to hug you.
Clifford: But I really am sorry.
Martin Daniels: You really are sorry?, you know sorrow is a human emotion, and as we know, you are not a human boy, you're just, this, this destructive thing who everyone will eventually get to hate you... LET'S GO!
Clifford: Well if you really feel that way, then why should I go with you?
Martin Daniels: THEN DON'T!... it's your choice.
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Martin Daniels: I'm going to build the bestest nuclear bomb in the whole wide world!
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[Martin and Clifford are waving goodbye to Sarah as she heads for San Francisco]
Martin Daniels: [growls angrily under his teeth] Get in the car!
[Back at Martin's house, Martin is furious with Clifford for getting him charged for a crime he didn't commit]
Martin Daniels: [furious] I am now out on bail. Are you listening to me?
[yells]
Martin Daniels: Are you?
Clifford: [solemn] Yes, I am.
Martin Daniels: I have a criminal record. But you know what you're gonna have?
Clifford: What?
Martin Daniels: You're gonna have a one-way ticket back to your parents!
Clifford: [freaks out] Don't send me back to my parents! They hate me!
Martin Daniels: [screams] Not as much as I DO!
[Clifford sobs]
Martin Daniels: Oh, stop with the fake tears!
Clifford: I'm not faking! I am sorry! I'll admit anything! Just don't send me back to my parents! I'll even tell Miss Sarah that I was the one who put the lipstick in your pocket, which I didn't. It was her father. He wanted to embarass you. He said that you were a simple-minded moron.
Martin Daniels: Sarah's father called me a moron?
Clifford: Simple-minded moron.
Martin Daniels: And Sarah's father put the lipstick in my pocket?
Clifford: Yes.
Martin Daniels: [calms down briefly] Why would he do that?
Clifford: 'Cause he hates you! I don't know why. I surely think you're a nice-enough sort.
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Gerald Ellis: Where have you been? You should've been here an hour ago, I've been listening to this idiot for... What are you looking at?
Martin Daniels: Nothing.
Gerald Ellis: Good. Did you make the changes on the model?
Martin Daniels: Yes I made the changes on the model.
Gerald Ellis: Yeah but you didn't shave. We got the entire press court here, you look like shit.
Martin Daniels: I look like shit? Well you look like Willie Nelson.
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Martin Daniels: Gee I don't like him!
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Martin Daniels: Listen to me. Listen to me a minute.
[Places Stephen in the center of the table]
Martin Daniels: Just leave the dinosaur there, I'm trying to tell you something. When I... When I was a little boy... You know, you touch the dinosaur, I'm gonna kill you.
Clifford: Stephen wanted to stand here.
Martin Daniels: Give it to me! I'll rip its head off! Give it to me! God almighty, Boy! Now listen to me, I'm trying to tell you something to help you. When I was a little boy growing up in Chicago, there was this great amusement park called Riverview. Your father tell you about it?
Clifford: Yes.
Martin Daniels: I thought that was the only place where a boy like me could be happy but my father never took me there. And then one day, they tore it down before I ever got a chance to go. I understand how you feel.
Clifford: Does it ever get easier, Uncle Martin?
Martin Daniels: Not really.
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Martin Daniels: Here's the deal: Go to your room, write a confession that I'll take to the police, I will not send you back to your parents, and you tell Sarah that you and I are the best of friends.
Clifford: And we are, aren't we?
Martin Daniels: Shut up.
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Sarah Davis: Martin, you need help.
Martin Daniels: He's the one who needs help! Go ahead and take him away but don't blame me when his head starts spinning around! Watch out for the green vomit!
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Clifford: I love you, Uncle Martin.
Martin Daniels: And I love you too, Clinton.
Clifford: Clifford.
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Martin Daniels: Hi, this is Martin Daniels, I'm not home right now but I got a bomb under city hall. Talk to you later.
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Sarah Davis: You are such a baby. Clifford should be babysitting you.
Martin Daniels: No thanks, I prefer babysitters who aren't affiliated with the Manson family.
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Martin Daniels: I have heard that Clifford is a very special boy.
Julien: Where is that little monster?
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Clifford: How many years you think you'll get for kidnapping me, Uncle Ten-Most-Wanted?
Martin Daniels: Life. Let's go a little faster shall we?
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Martin Daniels: That was so embarrassing with Mr. Ellis. Please don't ever tell someone that they have a nice wig.
Clifford: I said it was the bestest-looking wig I ever saw. It was a compliment.
Martin Daniels: He says he doesn't wear a wig, and a person doesn't take it as a compliment if you say, "Nice wig".
Clifford: But I didn't say "Nice wig", Uncle Martin, I said "Bestest-looking wig". I believe there is a difference.
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Gerald Ellis: I don't believe we've met.
Martin Daniels: Oh, this is Miss...
Gerald Ellis: Miss Sarah Davis. Yes, I'm well aware.
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Martin Daniels: You want me to redesign the entire model in two days?
Gerald Ellis: Look, the bottom line is you've got to move the train line.
Martin Daniels: Wha...
Gerald Ellis: Yes, two miles.
Martin Daniels: But... That's impossible, that would put the train line - That's right through the Sepulveda dam!
Gerald Ellis: Oh. That's not good... Well you'll come up with something. Just hole up for a few days, drink alot of coffee, and blah blah blah, and you being the top man I know you are, you'll hit another home run for us just like you always do. You all right?
Martin Daniels: No.
Gerald Ellis: Good man.
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Clifford: Tell me when this is all over, how many years do you think you'll get for kidnapping me, Uncle 10-Most-Wanted?
Martin Daniels: Life. Let's go a little faster, shall we?
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Martin Daniels: [on his answering machine recording] This is Martin Daniels. I'm not home but I got a bomb under City Hall.
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Martin Daniels: I've underestimated the evil one!
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Gerald Ellis: Who the hell is responsible for this?
Martin Daniels: I am
Gerald Ellis: Well, you're fired!
Martin Daniels: [sarcastically] Of course I am!
Gerald Ellis: Oh and by the way, I happen to love Willie Nelson.
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Martin Daniels: Climb abord Clifford!, are you excited, Clifford?
Clifford: Yes, cause it has always been my dream, Uncle Martin
Martin Daniels: Yeah, the same way as building a transit system was always my dream.
Clifford: Why do you say was?, did something happen to it?
Martin Daniels: [mocking Clifford] HAD SOMETHING HAPPENED TO IT?, we'll see how you feel about your dream after being on the ride for ten hours.
Clifford: Ten hours!, I'd say i'd like it even more!
Martin Daniels: Then we'll see how you would feel after 100 hours.
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Martin Daniels: I got a bombshell for you, young man, I'm the boss around here and you can't fight city hall.
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[Clifford finishes going through a fast version of the Larry the Scary Rex ride]
Martin Daniels: Was that scary?
Clifford: Not at all, you know a thought occured to me. You think that Miss Sarah and Mr. Ellis, perhaps would name their first child Martin?
Martin Daniels: That is so cute. You know Clifford, I really shouldn't put this in hyperdrive but I just can't seem to help myself, OH WELL!
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[Martin is still scolding Clifford]
Martin Daniels: Let's just forget about the wig. But I gotta punish you, and that means Dinosaur World is out!
Clifford: I don't understand.
Martin Daniels: I've got a bombshell for you, young man: I happen to be the boss in this house and you cannot fight City Hall.
Clifford: But you know, Uncle Martin, someone as wise and worldly as you would realize that breaking a little boy's promise and punishing him for it would be a terrible, terrible thing. I imagine that little boy wouldn't be responsible for what he was gonna do next.
Martin Daniels: [turns angrier] See now, that sounds like a threat to me and I don't like threats. So you're gonna spend the rest of the day in your room. Now you march up there, young man. March!
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Martin Daniels: Okay, I've got 20 hours. I can do it if I don't panic.
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