Marlon Browne Quotes in How I Got Into College (1989)

Marlon Browne: The interview is going to be key for me, since I'm the type that comes across much better in person than on paper.

Jessica Kailo: Oh, you do?

Marlon Browne: [the mailman has dropped off a letter in the mailbox, while a dog bites at his leg] Would you do me a favor and open it, please? I'm too nervous.

Mailman: I'd love to.

[he opens the letter and reads it]

Mailman: Marlon Browne? Congratulations.

Marlon Browne: I did it! I got into Ramsey! It's from Ramsey?

Mailman: No, it's from Ed McMahon. You may have already won ten million dollars.

Arcadia Bible Academy Recruiter: [inside a booth at a college recruiting fair] Welcome to the Arcadia Bible Academy! Last night, Jesus Christ came down to me on a vision in a flaming pie! He said, I want... what's your name?

Marlon Browne: Marlon.

Arcadia Bible Academy Recruiter: Marlon! I want Marlon to attend the Arcadia Bible Academy. Paying full tuition, of course. Son... Jesus *loves* you.

Marlon Browne: He might not if he saw my SAT scores.

Arcadia Bible Academy Recruiter: They're low?

Marlon Browne: Yeah.

Arcadia Bible Academy Recruiter: All right.

[he pats Marlon on the shoulder, Marlon leaves the booth]

Arcadia Bible Academy Recruiter: Jesus!

Marlon Browne: People choose colleges for all kinds of idiotic reasons, like fraternities and Slavic language departments.

Marlon Browne: Two men, A and B, are trapped inside my mailbox chained to 200,000 pounds of explosives.

B: This isn't funny!

A: What test is this?

Marlon Browne: If their chains are three inches thick and they have thirty seconds to escape, sawing at one inch per second, what are their chances for survival?

B: Skip it! Go to the next problem!

A: Come on, man! Get us out of here!

Marlon Browne: Who cares? I already got into college.

Marlon Browne: The thing about Ramsey, Dad, is that they actually consider people like me.

Sharon Browne: What does that mean? They're looking for someone with a definitive collection of Silver Surfer comic books?