Marlboro Quotes in Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man (1991)

Marlboro: Harley, if you were shootin' for shit you wouldn't get a whiff!

Harley Davidson: We're gonna jump.

Marlboro: Are you out of your fuckin' mind?

Harley Davidson: C'mon, it's the only way.

Marlboro: Uh-uh.

Harley Davidson: You're gonna get shot up here.

Marlboro: Well, you're gonna get squashed down there.

Harley Davidson: I'd rather be squashed than shot.

Marlboro: Not me.

Harley Davidson: Fine, then.

[punches Marlboro]

Harley Davidson: I owe you that.

[Jumps off building into pool below]

Marlboro: I hate you for this... I fuckin' hate you for this.

[Jumps]

Marlboro: I HATE YOU HARLEY... Oh shit!

Harley Davidson: Some rush, eh?

Marlboro: My old man told me, before he left this shitty world, never chase buses or women, you'll always be left behind.

Harley Davidson: I kicked his ass before.

Marlboro: That was in 3rd grade, and Jack had a broken arm.

Harley Davidson: Yeah, but I'm the one that broke it.

Marlboro: Squeeze the trigger, don't yank it, it's not your dick.

Marlboro: You know, that gun costs about two dollars every time you fire it. That's two bucks a bullet.

Harley Davidson: Well how many'd I hit?

Marlboro: You spent twelve dollars and didn't hit a goddamn thing. I nailed one and it cost about four and a quarter.

Guard: [Harley and Marlboro are robbing an armoured car] Who are you guys?

Marlboro: Well, he's Harley Davidson, and I'm the Marlboro Man.

Guard: You look like a bunch of two-bit hoods to me.

Harley Davidson: [the car's trunk explodes] Now does that look like the work of two-bit hoods?

Guard: Yeah. Pros would've used my keys.

[Harley and Marlboro look at each other]

Harley Davidson: Well, he likes to blow things up.

Marlboro: He's gonna take my girl, I'm gonna take his bike.

Marlboro: My old man told me, before he left this shitty world, the right woman can make ya, and the wrong woman can break ya.

Marlboro: You shot me Harley!, You fucking shot me!, I can't believe you shot me!

Marlboro: [Walking along brightly lit Las Vegas strip] I hate this fucking town.

Harley Davidson: Hey, man, you don't know anything about this city.

Marlboro: I grew up here, you dumb bastard.

Harley Davidson: I didn't know that.

Marlboro: Yeah, well, what you don't know is a lot.

Harley Davidson: You mean to tell me that real cowboys - I mean shit-kicking rodeo cowboys - come from Vegas?

Marlboro: Some of the best. Perhaps even ONE of the best.

Marlboro: My old man used to tell me before he left this shitty world, five rules of playing pool for cash. Lesson #1, always shoot with a cigarette in your mouth.

Big Indian: Can't smoke with no fire, asshole.

Marlboro: I quit!, Lesson #2, always know the table before you shoot.

[Marlboro shoots the ball]

Marlboro: Lesson #3, make sure you chalk that stick... REAL GOOD... before each shot!

[Marlboro shoots the ball again]

Marlboro: Lesson #4, never make a bet... if you can't pay the debt.

[Marlboro puts his hat on the table and shoots the ball again]

Marlboro: Lesson #5, if you lose, make sure you stand up straight and tall.

[points to the ball]

Marlboro: that corner... like a man

Marlboro: School's out boys!

Big Indian: You better get out of town, cowboy... before my cord snaps!

Marlboro: I'm good to go, as soon as I have five big bills in my pocket... and your woman in my bed!

Big Indian: Well I ain't got no $500 cowboy, and there's no way in hell you're bedding down my woman.

Harley Davidson: [after wishing Marlboro "Happy Birthday"] How does it feel to be an old man?

Marlboro: The older the bull, the stiffer the horn.

Virginia Slim: Robert, you've got to tell me where you are.

Marlboro: Nope, can't do that. I've already dug enough graves, and none of them my own.

Marlboro: Lay off my boots Harley!, I'm in no fucking mood.

Marlboro: You know, my old man told me before he left this shitty world that there would be blue-bellied chicken shit bastards like you out there!

Marlboro: Guns are meant to be shot Harley, not thrown!