Mark Wallace Quotes in Two for the Road (1967)

+1
Share
Pin
Like
Send
Share

Mark Wallace Quotes:

  • Mark Wallace: Do you know what marriage is?

    Joanna Wallace: Hmm, you tell me, and see if we're thinking of the same thing.

    Mark Wallace: Marriage is when the woman tells the man to take off his pajamas... and it's because, she wants to send them to the laundry.

  • Mark Wallace: We agreed before we were married we weren't gonna have any children.

    Joanna Wallace: And before we were married we *didn't*.

  • [Mark and Joanna see a bickering couple]

    Mark Wallace: That's marriage for you.

    Joanna Wallace: That's marriage for *them*.

    Mark Wallace: That's marriage - full stop.

  • Mark Wallace: Are you a virgin?

    [Joanna seems shocked by the question]

    Mark Wallace: Thought you were. Can always tell.

    Joanna Wallace: Congratulations.

    Mark Wallace: I was two years at the University of Chicago.

    Joanna Wallace: Studying virgin detection?

  • Mark Wallace: Just wish that you'd stop sniping.

    Joanna Wallace: I haven't said a word!

    Mark Wallace: Just because you use a silencer doesn't mean you're not a sniper.

  • [Before getting married, hitchhikers Mark and Joanna spend a night in a hotel together]

    Mark Wallace: This is definitely against my principles.

    Joanna Wallace: Good. I wouldn't like to think that it happened all the time.

    Mark Wallace: I had absolutely no intention of sleeping in hotels.

  • Mark Wallace: [Joanna has returned from an affair] Hello.

    Joanna Wallace: Hello.

    Mark Wallace: Well?

    Joanna Wallace: [softly, on the verge of tears] I'm back.

    Mark Wallace: Enjoy yourself?

    Joanna Wallace: [nods] Yes, thank you. But I *missed* you.

    [Mark sarcastically rolls his eyes, not believing her]

    Joanna Wallace: I *did*.

    Mark Wallace: Why?

    Joanna Wallace: Because he's so serious.

    Mark Wallace: I thought you liked people who were serious.

    Joanna Wallace: But he's *so* serious.

    Mark Wallace: Well, I'd better make some funny faces...

    Joanna Wallace: [softly] You don't need to make funny faces.

    [Mark gives no response]

    Joanna Wallace: Mark, I'm back!

    Mark Wallace: You humiliate me. You humiliate me... and then you come back.

    Joanna Wallace: [nods tearfully] That's right.

    Mark Wallace: Thank God!

    [he hugs her and they tearfully kiss]

  • Howard Manchester: Now, I warn you solemnly, Marcus, you're denying Joanna the right to be her own, paradoxical self!

    Mark Wallace: Howard, you're the largest pocket of untapped natural gas known to man.

  • Joanna Wallace: [upset] You just want me to become a beautiful memory, the sooner the better!

    Mark Wallace: Who said anything about beautiful?

  • Joanna Wallace: Shouldn't get too much sun the first day.

    Mark Wallace: I don't burn. I've got asbestos skin.

  • Mark Wallace: It's really meant for photographing three-dimensional subjects.

    Joanna Wallace: I'm three dimensional, as a matter of fact.

  • Mark Wallace: Darling, what's French for 'Inspector, I don't believe a word you're saying and you're not gonna get a damn penny?'

    Joanna Wallace: 'Oui, monsieur.'

  • Mark Wallace: If there's one thing I really despise, it's an indispensable woman.

  • [last lines]

    Mark Wallace: Bitch.

    Joanna Wallace: Bastard.

  • [Joanna waves her hand suspiciously over her drink]

    Mark Wallace: What are you doing?

    Joanna Wallace: Just trying to discover where the strings are attached.

  • Mark Wallace: What kind of people just sit like that without a word to say to each other?

    Joanna Wallace: Married people?

  • Joanna Wallace: [referring to a pair of newlyweds seated in the back of a Rolls Royce] They don't look very happy.

    Mark Wallace: Why should they? They just got married.

  • Mark Wallace: Why is it whenever you give a woman everything she wants she gets so bloody-minded?

  • Mark Wallace: [Mark and Joanna's car is on fire] Water!

    Joanna Wallace: Oh! But where?

    Mark Wallace: Find some!

    Joanna Wallace: Here, here.

    [she hands Mark a bottle of water]

    Mark Wallace: [he pours the water on the engine]

    Joanna Wallace: Oh! It likes water!

Browse more character quotes from Two for the Road (1967)

+1
Share
Pin
Like
Send
Share

Characters on Two for the Road (1967)