Mark Wallace Quotes in Two for the Road (1967)
Mark Wallace Quotes:
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Mark Wallace: Do you know what marriage is?
Joanna Wallace: Hmm, you tell me, and see if we're thinking of the same thing.
Mark Wallace: Marriage is when the woman tells the man to take off his pajamas... and it's because, she wants to send them to the laundry.
-- Mark Wallace -
Mark Wallace: We agreed before we were married we weren't gonna have any children.
Joanna Wallace: And before we were married we *didn't*.
-- Mark Wallace -
[Mark and Joanna see a bickering couple]
Mark Wallace: That's marriage for you.
Joanna Wallace: That's marriage for *them*.
Mark Wallace: That's marriage - full stop.
-- Mark Wallace -
Mark Wallace: Are you a virgin?
[Joanna seems shocked by the question]
Mark Wallace: Thought you were. Can always tell.
Joanna Wallace: Congratulations.
Mark Wallace: I was two years at the University of Chicago.
Joanna Wallace: Studying virgin detection?
-- Mark Wallace -
Mark Wallace: Just wish that you'd stop sniping.
Joanna Wallace: I haven't said a word!
Mark Wallace: Just because you use a silencer doesn't mean you're not a sniper.
-- Mark Wallace -
[Before getting married, hitchhikers Mark and Joanna spend a night in a hotel together]
Mark Wallace: This is definitely against my principles.
Joanna Wallace: Good. I wouldn't like to think that it happened all the time.
Mark Wallace: I had absolutely no intention of sleeping in hotels.
-- Mark Wallace -
Mark Wallace: [Joanna has returned from an affair] Hello.
Joanna Wallace: Hello.
Mark Wallace: Well?
Joanna Wallace: [softly, on the verge of tears] I'm back.
Mark Wallace: Enjoy yourself?
Joanna Wallace: [nods] Yes, thank you. But I *missed* you.
[Mark sarcastically rolls his eyes, not believing her]
Joanna Wallace: I *did*.
Mark Wallace: Why?
Joanna Wallace: Because he's so serious.
Mark Wallace: I thought you liked people who were serious.
Joanna Wallace: But he's *so* serious.
Mark Wallace: Well, I'd better make some funny faces...
Joanna Wallace: [softly] You don't need to make funny faces.
[Mark gives no response]
Joanna Wallace: Mark, I'm back!
Mark Wallace: You humiliate me. You humiliate me... and then you come back.
Joanna Wallace: [nods tearfully] That's right.
Mark Wallace: Thank God!
[he hugs her and they tearfully kiss]
-- Mark Wallace -
Howard Manchester: Now, I warn you solemnly, Marcus, you're denying Joanna the right to be her own, paradoxical self!
Mark Wallace: Howard, you're the largest pocket of untapped natural gas known to man.
-- Mark Wallace -
Joanna Wallace: [upset] You just want me to become a beautiful memory, the sooner the better!
Mark Wallace: Who said anything about beautiful?
-- Mark Wallace -
Joanna Wallace: Shouldn't get too much sun the first day.
Mark Wallace: I don't burn. I've got asbestos skin.
-- Mark Wallace -
Mark Wallace: It's really meant for photographing three-dimensional subjects.
Joanna Wallace: I'm three dimensional, as a matter of fact.
-- Mark Wallace -
Mark Wallace: Darling, what's French for 'Inspector, I don't believe a word you're saying and you're not gonna get a damn penny?'
Joanna Wallace: 'Oui, monsieur.'
-- Mark Wallace -
Mark Wallace: If there's one thing I really despise, it's an indispensable woman.
-- Mark Wallace -
[last lines]
Mark Wallace: Bitch.
Joanna Wallace: Bastard.
-- Mark Wallace -
[Joanna waves her hand suspiciously over her drink]
Mark Wallace: What are you doing?
Joanna Wallace: Just trying to discover where the strings are attached.
-- Mark Wallace -
Mark Wallace: What kind of people just sit like that without a word to say to each other?
Joanna Wallace: Married people?
-- Mark Wallace -
Joanna Wallace: [referring to a pair of newlyweds seated in the back of a Rolls Royce] They don't look very happy.
Mark Wallace: Why should they? They just got married.
-- Mark Wallace -
Mark Wallace: Why is it whenever you give a woman everything she wants she gets so bloody-minded?
-- Mark Wallace -
Mark Wallace: [Mark and Joanna's car is on fire] Water!
Joanna Wallace: Oh! But where?
Mark Wallace: Find some!
Joanna Wallace: Here, here.
[she hands Mark a bottle of water]
Mark Wallace: [he pours the water on the engine]
Joanna Wallace: Oh! It likes water!
-- Mark Wallace
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