Mark Bellison Quotes in The Invention of Lying (2009)

Anna McDoogles: I was just masturbating.

Mark Bellison: That makes me think of your vagina.

Mark Bellison: If you could make the world the way you wanted it to be, what would you do? If you could change anything, if you could do anything, what's the first thing you'd do?

Richard Bellison: If I could do anything?

Jim the Bartender: Anything at all?

Mark Bellison: Anything at all.

Richard Bellison: I would touch girls' boobs.

Jim the Bartender: Yes.

Richard Bellison: And maybe have sex with them too.

Jim the Bartender: Oh agreed, that too.

Mark Bellison: Okay, let's try that.

[He gets up]

Richard Bellison: Where you going?

Mark Bellison: Out.

[He exists the bar, and looks around. He sees many unattractive women, before a good-looking one walks past. He walks up to her]

Blonde: Don't look at me, I'm not attracted to you.

Mark Bellison: No listen...

Blonde: Don't bother, I've heard it all before.

Mark Bellison: The world's gonna end unless we have sex right now!

Blonde: [She turns around, worried] Do we have time to get to a motel, or do we need to do it right here?

Mark Bellison: Motel.

Blonde: [In the motel] Help me get me dress off.

Mark Bellison: No no, wait wait, let's get to know each-other first.

Blonde: No, we have to have sex! The world is going to end!

Mark Bellison: But I don't even know your name.

Blonde: Think of the children! Think of the little babies!

Mark Bellison: Let's have a drink. You look like a... ten dollars for beer? That is...

Blonde: Don't you understand? We are all going to die!

Mark Bellison: [calling Anna] Hi, this is Mark.

Anna McDoogles: Oh, hi Mark. Didn't you get my email?

Mark Bellison: The one about being not good enough for you?

Anna McDoogles: That's the one.

Mark Bellison: Yeah, got that. Cheers.

Mark Bellison: I did a bad thing...

Anna McDoogles: It's okay, you get three!

Greg: This is the most amazing night of my entire life.

Mark Bellison: Think how amazing if you didn't smell of vomit.

Anna McDoogles: [with an epiphany] I've finally decided what I want!

Mark Bellison: [expecting the worst] And what is that?

Anna McDoogles: I want short fat kids with snub noses!

Mark Bellison: I'm your man.

[Mark smiles; they kiss]

Martha Bellison: I'm so scared, Mark. People don't talk about it, but death is a horrible thing. One minute, you're alive, and then just like that, it's all gone. This is it, Mark. Few more hours like this and then an eternity of nothingness. I'm so... I'm so frightened.

Mark Bellison: Oh, Mum. Mum, listen to me. Listen carefully. You're wrong about what happens after you die. It's not an eternity of nothingness.

Martha Bellison: Huh?

Mark Bellison: You go to your favourite place in the whole world. Yeah. And everyone you've ever loved and who's ever loved you will be there. And you'll be young again. You'll run and jump like you used to and dance. You used to dance. There's no pain. Just love. Happiness. And everyone gets a mansion. And it lasts for an eternity. An eternity, Mum. Say hello to Dad for me. Tell him I love him.