Mario Quotes in Men at Work (1990)

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Mario Quotes:

  • Biff: Hold it honey!

    [Keeping the gun trained on Carl and Susan, Biff looks over to Mario]

    Biff: You listen to me, you Italian son of a bitch, and you listen good! The day you tell me, I don't know shit, and I let you get away with it, is the day *that*

    [points to the ocean in the background]

    Biff: ocean freezes over!

    Mario: That's it, that's it, your history!

    [points his tazer at Biff and shoots. Two electrodes land square in Biff's chest, sending thousands of volts of electricity into him]

    Biff: Yaaaawwwwwwwwwyyaaaawwwwww, uhhhhhh!

    [Biff collapses and passes out from being electrocuted]

    Carl: Now!

    [Carl and Susan rush into Mario, knocking him over and run towards Susan's car]

  • Biff: [Sits in the car with Mario, watching Susan's apartment. Car phone rings] Hello?

    Maxwell Potterdam III: First, you lose the body. And then you bring me, the wrong tape. Now I know, that you two haven't personally set out to DESTROY MY COMPANY! But I sent you out to do a simple task, and simply put, you screwed up.

    Mario: [Biff is listening to Potterdam, Mario has made a origami bird and is making sounds] Caw! Caw!

    Maxwell Potterdam III: Now, apparently, Berger, had a relationship with his campaign manager, a Miss Susan Wilkins.

    [Potterdam gives the address]

    Biff: That's where we iced Berger, Chief! I know where that is!

    Maxwell Potterdam III: Well, did it ever occur to you two idiots that, SHE MIGHT HAVE THE CASSETTE?

    [hangs up]

    Biff: I think he wants us to kill some more people.

    Mario: OK.

    [puts a lollipop in his mouth]

  • Biff: [Biff is slowly coming to after Mario blasted him with a taser gun] Ooohhhh... what happened?

    Mario: Man, it was something. You got struck by lightning.

    Biff: Really?

    Mario: Freak storm.

  • Maxwell Potterdam IIIBiffMario: [Biff and Mario stand in Potterdam's office, covered in grime from dumpster diving]

    Maxwell Potterdam III: What do you mean, you lost the body?

    Biff: We don't know, Chief. We looked everywhere. We had it in one of the barrels tied to the back of the trunk, and...

    Maxwell Potterdam III: And?

    Biff: It must have... rolled off the back of the car.

    [looks down]

    Maxwell Potterdam III: Well! FIND IT! Find it, find it, find it! Your very lives depend upon it, gentleman!

    BiffMario: Right, Chief.

    Mario: We did get this, though, Chief.

    [hands the tape taken out of Berger's pocket to Potterdam]

    Maxwell Potterdam III: Well! Thank God! You're excused.

  • Billy Thomas: I'm smart too. I got three-seventy and five-forty on the Master-Blaster.

    Mario: [Awestruck] Jeez.

    Tony Baccola: Wait. Master-Blaster? What is that?

    Mario: Its a video game, Tony!

    Tony Baccola: Yeah, I should've known you'd know!

  • Mario: Hey Tony, he's not such a bad sort.

    Tony Baccola: Would you shut the shit up! A lot you know.

  • Mario: Look what this karate-guy is doing to Chang!

  • Mario: How we gonna get in there? I got two words for you: Im-possible.

    Luigi: Nothing's impossible, Mario. Improbable, Unlikely, but never impossible.

    Mario: I hope you're right.

  • Sergeant Simon: Name.

    Mario: Mario.

    Sergeant Simon: Last name.

    Mario: Mario.

    Sergeant Simon: And you?

    Luigi: Luigi.

    Sergeant Simon: Luigi Luigi?

    Luigi: No, Luigi Mario.

    Sergeant Simon: Okay how many Marios are there between the two of you?

    Luigi: Three: Mario Mario and Luigi Mario.

  • Luigi: Wow, you mean there were dinosaurs here in Brooklyn?

    Mario: Relax, Luigi. There used to be Dodgers here too.

  • Mario: What single-celled organism did *you* evolve from?

    King Koopa: [indicates an evolution chart of a dinosaur becoming a man] Tyrannosaurus Rex, the lizard king, thank you very much.

  • [the Marios try to escape in a police car]

    Mario: Where's the starter on this thing?

    Luigi: I got a feeling about this, Marioroni...

    [figures out the strange controls to start the car]

    Mario: How do you know how to do that?

    Luigi: Cuz I been sitting on my butt all day playing video games, that's what.

  • Luigi: It is an honor to meet you sir, and a pleasure, and I just wanna thank you for all your help.

    Mario: Come on, Luigi. You'll be talking to the mildew in the shower next.

  • [last lines]

    Princess Daisy: [enters with combat fatigues and a big gun] Luigi! Mario!

    Luigi: Daisy!

    Princess Daisy: You guys gotta come with me! I need your help!

    Luigi: Why, what's wrong?

    Princess Daisy: [cradles her gun and smiles] You're not gonna believe *this*.

    Mario: I believe it.

    Luigi: You do?

    Mario: [chuckles] I believe.

  • MarioLuigi: Glug glug glug glug glug!

  • Mario: Great, a building with athlete's foot.

  • Mario: Mario Brothers Plumbing, no leak too small.

  • Cop: [sees the Marios' tool belts] Aha! Plumbers!

    Luigi: No, he is! I'm just apprenticing!

    Cop: Get in the car!

    Luigi: But I didn't do nothin'!

    Cop: Get in the car now!

    Mario: Are you tellin' us that you can arrest a guy for being a plumber? Get outta here!

    Cop: Get in there, plumber! Now!

    Cop: [shoves the Marios and Toad into the squad car]

    Mario: Hey! What is this?

    Luigi: All right. What'd we do?

    Mario: I'm gettin' arrested for bein' a plumber!

    Luigi: Write his number down!

  • Mario: [drives towards a fork] Which way?

    Luigi: Take the parkway!

    Mario: Right!

    [drives into a tunnel instead]

    Luigi: [smiles] Perfect, perfect.

    Mario: You said the parkway!

    Luigi: I know, but I wanted the tunnel, so I said parkway cuz I knew you'd go the opposite way I suggested! Ha!

  • Daisy: How's Daniella? Is she all right?

    Mario: Daniella! I promised I'd take her to Wrestlemania.

    Daisy: You mean, you don't know?

    Mario: What?

    Daisy: She's in the Goomba barracks, on the 51st floor!

  • Mario: [looks at a newspaper] Are you spendin' money on this stuff? Look at this!

    Luigi: Yeah, but that's got the article about the missing Brooklyn girls in it.

    Mario: Yeah? It's also got one on the scientist who turns brains into cheese.

    Luigi: Well, you don't know. It could happen.

    Mario: [laughs] How could that possibly happen?

    Luigi: Anything's possible, Mario. You just gotta believe!

  • Toad: Say, what's another word that rhymes with dimension?

    Mario: Yeah, tension, and I'm full of it so shut up.

  • Mario: Strap your belt on, kid. We're going in!

  • Mario: [trying to get a dance with Big Bertha] Hey, the name's Mario. I'm your main man, your ram-a-dame, your can of spam...

    Bertha: [punches him and laughs]

    Mario: [second try] Excuse me. Will you hit me again? I've never seen such fluidity. The way your knuckles crunched as you smashed 'em into my face.

    Bertha: [grabs him by the jacket] Dance with me. I'll hit you all you like.

  • Mario: Hey! You must be the girls - the missing girls from Brooklyn!

    Daniella: Yeah, except for Angelica. She's from Queens, but she's all right.

    Angelica: Hey! I'm freezin' my butt off here! There's cold air comin' from that air vent.

    Mario: Yeah. We froze the pipes. We're goin' for a little ride.

  • Mario: If you 2 don't start talkin' we're gonna leave ya to these guys... for lunch.

    Luigi: Now, where's Daisy?

    Spike: No, no, no, no. Where's the rock, Scalywag?

    Luigi: Where's Daisy, Butt-Breath?

    Iggy: Where's the rock, Overweaning-Rogue?

    Luigi: Not till ya give us Daisy, Biscuit-Head!

    Spike: WHERE IS THE ROCK?

    Mario: SHUT UP!

  • Luigi: [sees another Bob-Omb hanging on the fungus] Look! Look! Look, another one!

    [a few Goombas enter the scene]

    Luigi: Wait, wait, wait, wait, Mario. I think it wants me to take it.

    Mario: Stop fiddlin' with the fungus, and let's get outta here!

  • Daniella: [extra-quietly] Okay, don't say anything, but my boyfriend, Mario, is right up there.

    Angelica: [looks up and sees Mario] What?

    Mario: SHH!

    Angelica: HEY! MARIO! He'll get us outta here!

  • [Entering the Boom Boom Bar]

    Luigi: Isn't this a little bit feminine?

    Iggy: Yes, I know. It was my ex wife's.

    Mario: But you wear this stuff?

    Spike: Yes. On occasion, we have a... date.

    Mario: Who do you date, a canary?

  • Luigi: [driving] I've heard sea turtles travel thousands of miles on their own.

    Mario: Not in New York traffic, they don't.

  • Mario: Turn left here.

    [Luigi turns right]

    Mario: LEFT. I SAID LEFT.

  • Luigi: Hey, Mario! Right now on "Miraculous World", this guy just found out he was in another dimension.

    Mario: The only thing miraculous *I* know is that we're still eating while we're going broke.

    Luigi: We aint going broke, Mario, we're already there!

  • Luigi: I think it's trying to communicate with us...

    Mario: Luigi, it's a mushroom!

  • Luigi: [after learning that Daisy was abandoned as an infant] You mean you don't know who your mother and father neither?

    Princess Daisy: No. What do you mean, "neither"?

    Luigi: Cuz, you see, Mario here brought me up. He's been like my mother my whole life.

    Mario: Hey!

    Luigi: [laughing] Ok, ok, my father, all right? And my uncle, cousin, and everybody.

  • [the Marios see that their job is taken already]

    Mario: Scapelli. They beat us to it again! Another lost job!

  • Mario: Treat your tools like a friend. Keep 'em by you. Lever let 'em down, and they're always at your side.

    Luigi: Hey, Mario, how is it that for every situation that could possibly come up, you always got a saying about tools?

    Mario: I got 'em from Papa.

    Both: He got 'em from Grandpapa!

  • [Luigi has managed to get a dinner date with Daisy, thanks to Mario's help]

    Mario: What would you do without your big brother, huh?

    Luigi: I'd like to take a chance and find out.

    Mario: Oh come on!

    Luigi: I was just about to ask her that.

    Mario: You weren't about to ask her nothing! You were gonna let her go!

    Luigi: Now she's gonna think I'm a complete idiot.

    Mario: Come on, you'll impress her with your manners.

    Luigi: Well why'd you tell her that I suck my thumb, huh?

  • [Mario and Luigi are chasing after Spike and Iggy as they drag Daisy through the entrance to Dinohatten]

    Luigi: I'm gonna kill 'em!

    Mario: No, you're not gonna kill 'em, not if I get there first. I'm gonna break every bone in their body, and *then* I'm gonna kill 'em. I'm *really* gonna kill 'em!

  • Mario: Everybody's got tap water! 3 bucks!

  • Cop: You know the law, Toad!

    Mario: Hey, wait a minute, you can't arrest the guy for just singing a song.

    Cop: For anti-Koopa songs we can.

  • Luigi: Wow, they were dinosaurs in Brooklyn?

    Mario: Relax, Luigi, there used to be Dodgers, here, too.

  • Old Lady: Are you boys new in town?

    Mario: Listen, lady, we're looking for someone. And we're from Brooklyn.

    Old Lady: You know, boys, this is a really rough neighborhood. You really shouldn't be wandering around without a weapon.

    Mario: Yea.

    Old Lady: You got one?

    Luigi: ...No.

    Old Lady: ...All right...

    [brandishes a cattle-prod-like weapon]

    Old Lady: [shouts] Get 'em up, suckers!

  • [Mario shows Pee-wee a box of new items]

    Mario: Fake blood. Or is it?

    Pee-wee: Ecchh! No.

    Mario: Super stink bomb?

    Pee-wee: Have some.

    Mario: Shrunken head?

    Pee-wee: No.

    Mario: Regular size?

    Pee-wee: No.

    Mario: [brings out an enormous head; laughs deeply]

    Pee-wee: NOOOOO!

    Mario: Trick gum?

    Pee-wee: Okay.

    Mario: Headlight glasses?

    Pee-wee: Yeah!

    Mario: And direct from Australia... The Boomerang Bow-Tie!

    Pee-wee: Come in red?

    Mario: [Mario extracts a red boomerang bow-tie]

  • Mario: When someone else is driving, I'm scared.

  • Mario: [on the phone] Pronto: Is it Jamal there?

    Inspector Jamal: What did you find out?

    Mario: The girls' first stop is for Bermuda... And the boys.

  • Roxette: It's a tragedy about women's suffrage.

    Mario: Oh I hate men who beat their wives.

  • Mario: Come on, Mom, get in the hearse.

    Bette Tremont: You'd like that, wouldn't you?

    Mario: I'm sorry, it was a slip of the tongue.

  • Mario: The unexpected play...

    Enrique: ...at the unexpected time.

  • Mario: [to Frida, about chef Martha] It's your restaurant, but her kitchen. Without her, it's just a pile of metal. It's for her to decide.

  • Mario: Why would she want to stay with her family in sunny Italy when she can return to cold and grey Germany to live there with a nut case like you?

  • [last lines]

    Mario: [to a dog] I know this is tough for you, but you're going to like me... a lot. It takes a lifetime, and don't you forget it.

  • [last lines]

    Saverio: Look! A train! I told you we would return to the present!

    Mario: I'm not marrying Gabriellina!

    Saverio: Oh yes you are!

    Leonardo da Vinci: Engineers! TRAIN!

    MarioSaverio: Please... NO!

    Leonardo da Vinci: For God's sake! 33%... 33%... and 33%...

    [cut to a shot of the train and freeze as the film ends]

  • Mario: [moaning] Saverio...

    [mumbles]

    Saverio: I don't understand!

    Mario: [moaning] Saverio...

    Saverio: Yes! OK! I'M Saverio!

  • Lady Susan Ashlow: That's quite a tan you've acquired.

    Mario: Oh, eh, I'm almost naked, madame.

    Lady Susan Ashlow: Yes, yes you are, aren't you.

  • Mario: On this island, madame, man have primitive desires.

    Lady Susan Ashlow: [laughs] They certainly do.

  • [repeated lines]

    Mario: Bula! Bula!

  • Oscar: Hey, man... that's my sister, okay? So don't touch her.

    Mario: [smirks] Be a good brother.

  • Oscar: [holds out bag of pills] Wanna try some?

    Dancer: Sure.

    Mario: [enters room] Get ready, you guys...

    [sees Oscar, approaches him]

    Mario: What the fuck are you doing in here?

    Oscar: Doesn't matter to you I'm not hurting anybody...

    Mario: [grabs bag of pills] Shit!

    Oscar: Don't touch my stuff...

    Mario: [slaps Oscar] You're selling the drugs to my girls?

    Oscar: Fuck off, give it back!

    Mario: Fuck!

    [grabs Oscar]

    Mario: If I ever see you again here, I'm gonna kill ya.

  • Mario: But what about school?

    Rynn: School is having people tell you what life is and never finding out by yourself.

  • Mario: Rynn, don't bodies...

    Rynn: Decompose? Well, you can put stuff on them.

    Mario: How do you know how do to that stuff.

    Rynn: I looked it up in the library.

  • Mario: Somebody's out there.

  • Rynn: You got any pets?

    Mario: Nope, just my parents, which I water and feed regularly.

  • Mario: Yeah, but kids have to go to school.

    Rynn: Why?

    Mario: Okay, so your father taught you. Everybody doesn't have a father like yours. Everybody can't be like you.

    Rynn: If I'd listened to them, I'd be like them.

    Mario: Damn. You keep saying "them" like everyone's out to get you.

    Rynn: Maybe they are.

  • Mario: Like your father said in that letter: Since when do they let kids do what they want?

  • Rynn: [about her mom] My father had given me a small bottle containing some white powder. He said if she should arrive, I should put it in her tea. Calm her, make her less agressive.

    Mario: Well it sure did, but you didn't know what it was, eh?

    Rynn: Not until after. I looked it up based on it properties. Potassium cyanide.

    Mario: And that's what you put in her tea?

    Rynn: Father meant what he said about doing anything you have to to survive.

    [Mario looks at his tea]

    Mario: How come you're not drinking yours?

    Rynn: Mine's still too hot, I didn't put in any cold milk. I can still see her red nails holding up that cup. After a few sips she said that the tea tasted of almonds. It's the almond cookies, I told her.

  • Mario: I'll make a deal with you. You tell me about the car, I'll tell you why I'm crippled.

    Rynn: No.

    Mario: It was Polio shots. See, I have so many brothers and sisters that my mother forgot who did and who didn't

  • Rynn: [about her father] Through most all September he looked fine, if the pain was terrible he never said anything. Then one Sunday evening, we were sitting in this room and he whispered to me in a very soft voice that I wasn't like anybody else in the world; and people wouldn't understand me, they'd order me around, tell me what to do and try to turn me into the person they wanted me to be. Since I was only a kid, I couldn't say anything, I'd have to stay alone, keep out of trouble and make myself very small in the world.

    Mario: All alone?

    Rynn: We worked out every detail, we knew it wouldn't be easy. Here's a letter from my father: Don't give in and play their game, fight them any way you have to, survive. That's what he said. Then he kissed me and walked off into the trees and down the lane.

  • Rynn: [after Mario returns Mrs. Hallet's car] Did you lock all the doors?

    [Mario palms the keys to Hallet's car]

    Rynn: You should've put 'em through her office mailbox.

    Mario: No I shouldn't, let me tell you, I'm sitting there in her Bently, in the dark, right? In front of her God damned office, trying not to let anybody see me and ask me what I'm doing, I gotta be careful right? Now, I may not know why Mrs. Hallet didn't drive her own car back, but one thing I do know, why would Mrs. Hallet put her own keys through her own God damned office mailbox? She wouldn't, she'd keep her keys, they'd be wherever she is.

  • Mario: What, are you gonna bust us for drinking here? I won't have it!

    Miglioriti: You're just lucky I don't smell any grass.

    Mario: You got any? I'll buy it cheap.

  • Mario: Aw, hey Gordon...

    [Rynn smacks Mario's hand when he touches the hamster]

    Rynn: Get away.

    Mario: Man, you won't even trust me with your rat!

    Rynn: He's a hamster.

    Mario: Yeah, well he looks like a rat.

    Rynn: You look like a rat.

  • Mario: You keep saying "them" like everyone's out to get you.

    Rynn: Maybe they are.

  • Mario: Hey, this summer, it won't-a last forever, heh?

    Colin: Oh, yes it can! It'll last until the calendar says stop, Daddy-O!

    Mario: Hey, it's-a not Daddy-O, it's Mario.

  • Mario: It states that one must make love without shame or constraint. That virginity is not glorious. That the couple has its limits. And that these limits must be stretched to infinity.

  • Emmanuelle: Basically eroticism is the opposite of making love.

    Mario: It's notably through love that man strives to break with his daily existence. It's the victory of dreams over nature.

  • Mario: Making love is not important, its the way you make love.

  • Emmanuelle: I wonder if I've been dreaming for quite some now.

    Mario: It's because we're abroad. As exiles, we're reduced to futile pastimes. Napoleon passed the time on St Helena counting his spoons. One mustn't become resigned at any price. Here in Bangkok if you say that, everyone will agree. But if you talk of sex, then you will have sinned against our ancestral taboos. l'm a collector. It's a very respected occupation, collecting. I collect situations.

  • Mario: Love between couples should be outlawed. Every act of love must include a third person.

  • Mario: All fear should be totally abolished. The fear of questioning oneself and the fear of being happy engender the values of a false morality, taboos, conformism, the refusal of life... in a word: lies.

  • Mario: One must use one's body to understand others and oneself. We must loosen the bonds. We must liberate the screams that have been silenced for centuries and destroy established values. Fill your head with more sensations than you can obtain every man on earth. One must use the unusual. The unusual which is beyond all that is customary. The wife impregnated in the nuptial bed has no knowledge of eroticism. One must organize one's adventures with economy. One must eliminate sentiment. My emptied head has become so fearful and so avid that love alone can satisfy it.

  • Mario: l want us to find the unknown by the unsettling of the senses. Couples should be outlawed. It should be compulsory to include a third person...

  • Mario: Love, true love, needs to be unnatural. The definition of true love is the erection, not the orgasm. Couples should be outlawed. It should be compulsory to include a third person.

  • Mario: Do you like Neopolitans? We're something special.

  • Natalia: I don't know you. Please leave me alone.

    Mario: I don't know you either. Allow me to accompany you.

  • Mario: I'm sorry. I'm terribly shy. With girls, I mean. I'm not used to - I never know how to talk to them. The women I know...

    Natalia: Women like shy men. And so do I.

    Mario: Really? But, don't tell me that or you'll make me lose my shyness.

  • Mario: Even if we're only friends, must we talk only about your woes? Let's talk about mine as well.

    Natalia: Do you have some?

    Mario: No. But, I could.

  • Mario: It's not my concern anyway. Should I feel remorse? Remorse. I want to have fun tonight. What remorse?

  • Mario: I got a job. One year here, one year there - you meet a lot of people. You meet, you separate, and then you start all over. I used to think that was the secret to a happy life. Perhaps I'm getting older, but I don't like that anymore. I'd like to make some friends and keep them. Someone...

  • Mario: I don't come to places like this anymore. I like to walk around by myself, lost in thought.

    Natalia: So you're a dreamer too.

    Mario: Well, you know how it is. The imagination boils over, like water in a coffee pot. But it's a mistake, because you end up believing there's something real and tangible in your dreams, and you neglect life and reality.

  • Natalia: Now I can say that I've been dancing.

    Mario: Now I can say that I've been happy.

  • Mario: Forget your ghosts from the past!

  • Mario: What were you thinking, trusting a man like me? I even told you: Never trust anyone. Especially a man in love.

  • Mario: What difference does it make if I do tomorrow what I didn't do yesterday?

    Natalia: Exactly. What difference does yesterday or today make?

  • Mario: I told you not to trust the judgment of a man in love. You're such a little girl. Nothing I said counts, because I was thinking only of myself. I told you not to believe in fairy tales. Then I started to believe my own fantasy.

  • Mario: I wish I could make you fall asleep, like the character in the fairy tale, who'll only wake up on the day she is to find happiness. I'll be like that for you too. One day you'll wake up and find that it's a lovely day. The sun will be shining and everything will be fresh and clean. What once seemed impossible will seem simple and natural. Don't you believe me? I'm sure of it. And it'll be soon. Perhaps even tomorrow.

  • Mario: Natalia, look. Look at the sky. It's wonderful. What's happening? It's snowing.

    Natalia: Oh! It's snowing!

    Mario: It's snowing! It's snowing! It's snowing!

    Natalia: What more could you ask? It's snowing! It's snowing.

  • Mario: I swear to you, I'm a new man. Believe me, I'm a new man. I have faith now. I understand it all now, even if I can't explain. You see? I used to think this city was bleak and sad, but it was me! Now it's all shining and bright! We only have to want it. Something inside me just has to want it and the girl I love will become my bride. All dressed in white.

  • Mario: Just think. The whole city is asleep. They don't know a thing. Soon they'll start to wake up. They'll open their windows and say...

    Natalia: What a lovely day.

  • Mario: God bless you for the moment of happiness you gave me. Even a moment's worth can last a lifetime.

  • Mario: You know, they say scary movies are an aphrodisiac.

    Samantha: If you get turned on by this, we're breaking up.

  • Mario: What meaning can a love story have in this ruin, this corruption?

    Niccolo: It's the corrupt ones who need a love story most.

  • Mario: If it's a boy, I want to call him Saku

Browse more character quotes from Men at Work (1990)

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