Marcus Quotes in John Wick (2014)


Marcus Quotes:

  • Marcus: You look terrible.

    John Wick: No, I look retired.

  • Marcus: You better stop and think about what you're doing, Kirk. You better think about what you did on Kronos. You made an incursion onto an enemy planet! You killed a Klingon patrol! Even if you got away without a trace, war is coming! And who's gonna lead us, YOU? If I'm not in charge, our entire way of life is decimated! So you want me off this ship, you better kill me!

  • Marcus: [from trailer]

    [In response to the enterprise pursuing Khan]

    Marcus: Star Fleet Isn't About Vendetta... KIRK!

    James T. Kirk: [glowers] Well... Maybe It SHOULD... Sir!

  • Marcus: Hey, yo, Pops. We betting on what you did before you got here.

    Jay: Like for a living.

    Marcus: I'm saying insurance, claims.

    Jay: He was a stock dude, man, on Wall Street.

    Robert McCall: I was a Pip.

    Jay: Yo, you were a pimp?

    Robert McCall: No, not a pimp. A Pip, P-I-P, Pip.

    Jay: What fuck is a Pip?

    Robert McCall: Why you curse so much? You know, like Gladys Knight and the Pips. Like this.

    [starts dancing]

  • Marcus: Tanis, you seem anxious. Why do you flee at the very sight of me?

    [Sits in a chair calmly]

    Marcus: Please, sit. There's no need for this to be unpleasant. I've always rather enjoyed your company.

    [Tanis glances at his guns and ultraviolet ammunition, obviously contemplating making a grab for one. Marcus notices this]

    Marcus: Now you're being rude.

    Tanis: Sorry.

    [sits nervously]

  • [Marcus has Kraven pinned to the wall by his talons]

    Kraven: Marcus?

    Marcus: The blood memories of this wretched creature...

    [indicates Singe's body]

    Marcus: ...have shown me that your treachery knows no bounds.

    Kraven: My lord, I can explain.

    Marcus: Why would I listen to your lies when the journey to the truth... is so much sweeter?

    [Marcus bites into his neck, and see's visions of Kraven's past, including his bargain with Lucian and Selene killing Viktor]

    Kraven: Please. I can assist you.

    Marcus: [smiles] Oh, you already have.

    [he pulls his talons free, then swipes Kraven's head off.]

  • [William, Marcus Corvinus's twin brother and the very first werewolf, is released from his prison of a thousand years. He growls and charges at Marcus]

    Marcus: William... No, William, no! Calm down! Be still, brother... it's me, Marcus!

  • Marcus: I know what you have done, Selene.

    Selene: Viktor deserved his fate. And Kraven was no better.

    Marcus: Kraven has already reaped the rewards of his own misdeeds. And yes, Viktor deserved his fate, many times over. A terrible business, the slaying of your mortal family. Yet so much effort was spent to conceal this matter from me. What do you suppose Viktor had to hide? Or perhaps it is you Selene, as the last of your wretched family, who has something to hide?

  • [first lines]

    Marcus: My God. Brother, what have you done?

  • [William has been shot through his limbs by chains, and dragged to the ground. Marcus comes back unexpectedly.]

    Viktor: Marcus!

    Marcus: He was not to be harmed. Place him in my charge, as we agreed, or you will pay for your deceit.

    Viktor: And you will learn your place. Your sympathy for this beast is foolish. Your brother is entirely beyond control. It will be done *my* way.

    Marcus: You know well the consequences if your murder me. Or William.

    Viktor: If you so much as speak his name again you will have chosen that future for him.

    [Marcus looks to his sides - Viktor's warriors have their crossbows poised at him.]

    Marcus: What is thy will... my lord?

    Viktor: Imprisonment for all time. Far from you.

  • Marcus: Hello Father.

    Alexander Corvinus: You are unwelcome in my presence.

    Marcus: Ah. The predictable heart that never thaws. Pity it beats within such a fool. The eldest of the immortals, yet you have made no attempt to seize your destiny.

    Alexander Corvinus: We are oddities of nature, you and I. Nothing more! This is a world for humanity.

    Marcus: And that petty sentiment explains why you rejected your sons? Why you stood by for over half a millennium as William suffered alone in darkness? No, Father, I have no respect for your petty sentiment. Viktor's key. Where is it?

    Alexander Corvinus: Whatever plan you have for William is futile. You cannot control your brother.

    Marcus: Oh, I am stronger now. And our bond is greater than you have ever wanted to acknowledge.

    Alexander Corvinus: You're wrong. Soon you'll be drowning in Lycans just like before.

    Marcus: Oh, not Lycans, Father, or Vampires. A new race created in the image of their maker. Their new God. Me.

    [Marcus impales Alexander to the wall with his talon]

    Marcus: And a true God

    [picks up a sword]

    Marcus: has no father.

    [Marcus drives the sword through Alexander, then takes the key out of his top pocket]

    Alexander Corvinus: You will fail.

  • Marcus: Viktor fashioned two keys. What do you know of them?

    Tanis: Keys? I don't know of any keys.

    [Marcus spears Tanis in the shoulders and pulls him across the table]

    Tanis: Oh... yes. Yes, those keys.

  • Marcus: [to Selene] Dead or alive, you will give me what I want!

  • Marcus: [to Selene] I knew Viktor made a mistake by keeping you as a pet. He should have killed you with the rest of your family.

  • Marcus: [Simon produces a cross] Sorry sport. I'm an atheist.

    Simon Sheppard: [a dagger pops out of the cross' base] God loves you anyway.

  • Marcus: Better than money!

  • Fester: Marcus, score us some nacho chips and some radical salsa.

    Marcus: Dude!

    Fester: None of that green stuff.

  • Marcus: Radical!

  • Fester: Well, my dangerous buds, tomorrow is another day. And those little dudes are ours. Slurpee?

    Hammer: Radical!

    Fester: Slurpee?

    Marcus: Dude!

    Fester: We're outta here.

  • Kayo: [to Marcus] what's up delivery boy what the fuck you doing here? Did somebody place an order around this motherfucker? Hell naw motherfucker gimme this goddamn ball, see ya later sucka.

    Spyro: [to Marcus] what the fuck you want? The fuck you want?

    Marcus: I was just watching.

    Spyro: Take your ass over there and watch, GO ON!

  • Marcus: So, what's the plan?

    Dylan Dog: No plan. Just bigger guns.

  • Marcus: I guess we could just talk about the location of the flesh-eating zombie when you guys are done boning.

  • Marcus: Oh, my God! What's wrong with my arm? Dylan, what's wrong with my arm? What happened?

    Dylan Dog: Relax. It's a loaner.

    Marcus: A loaner?

    Dylan Dog: Yes. They were out of Caucasian in your size.

  • Marcus: If I had another arm right now, I would hug you.

  • Marcus: Girl, you better recognize my skills. I could build a radio station out of a milk carton and two condom wrappers.

  • Addy: What you got there?

    Gordon: Oh, uh, well we've got some wine and bread, cheese, fruit and some prosciutto.

    Marcus: Prosciutto?

    Gordon: It's Italian deli food.

    Marcus: [smelling food on the plate] Yo damn, that's ham, dog.

    Curtis: [sampling some of the prosciutto] That's some good fuckin' ham.

  • Marcus: [when Gordon joins along shooting] GORDON! Get down!

  • Marcus: Let's just say that once upon a time, there were 3 bears

    Lou: Oh God, not another story!

    D: Yeah Marcus, just spit it out!

    Marcus: The bears went out one day looking for food which was other bears

    Lou: Ah, cannibalistic bears!

    Marcus: And when these 3 bears got back to their house, they found little Goldilocks sleeping in their bed. Just before they could eat her, Papa bear said, 'Now just wait, we're cannibalistic bears!'

    D: Yes, yes we are

    Lou: I wanna be Mama bear

    D: *Three* bears

    Marcus: Ah, the bears. Goldilocks is tasty to us so Goldilocks must be tasty to other bears, and what we really would like to eat is other bears, so why don't we use Goldilocks as a trap for the other bears. And all the bears nodded their heads and thought it was good, so they did. Goldilocks was a very good trap for the other bears, and the 3 bears went back home to their nice homes at night, simply stuffed to the gills with bear. Yum yum!

    D: So who do we use for bait? Not Goldilocks

    Lou: Not who, but what

    Marcus: Precisely

    D: Im lost

    Lou: Of course you are, you're stupid!

  • Roxanne: He's always looking at the good side of people.

    Marcus: Yeah, but while he's looking at their good side, their bad side is gonna finish him.

  • Marcus: [as Vladimir and Stefan charge at him for the kill] Finally...!

  • [last lines]

    Aro: [accepting a card delivered by Bianca] Ah. It's from Carlisle. Which is spelt with an 'S,' sweet Bianca.

    [Aro gestures with a finger. Demitri and Felix come up on either side of Bianca]

    Aro: He's added a new member to his coven.

    Marcus: Ahhh.

    Caius: Increasing his power.

    [Aro glances at Demitri and Felix, who grab Bianca and drag her away]

    Aro: [shaking his head] First it's the spelling, then the grammar.

    [Aro hands the card to Marcus]

    Marcus: At least our dispute with the Cullens is over.

    Aro: Over?

    Marcus: Mmmm.

    Aro: Goodness, no. Our dispute goes far beyond the fate of a mere human.

    Caius: And what might it be?

    Aro: Why brother, I thought you understood. They have something I want.

  • Aro: Ah... Valentina has brought us something.

    Caius: She should not have interrupted.

    Aro: She's new.

    Marcus: Aren't they all?

    Aro: [Opening the letter] Ah l'amore ci mantiene giovani... Edward and Bella are to be married.

    Marcus: What joy...

    Caius: This is the Cullens way of announcing their transformation? They mock us with their delays.

    Aro: Patience, brother.

    Aro: Though you do have a point... the human did interrupt.

    [Orders Valentina to be killed]

    Aro: Oh I do love weddings.

  • Aro: Your gift is too much to throw away. Please consider joining us.

    Edward Cullen: You know what will happen anyway.

    Marcus: Not without cause.

  • Edward Cullen: So you've made up your minds.

    Aro: It was an intriguing debate... we've rarely encountered a vampire who would willingly end his own existence.

    Caius: Pathetic, disgraceful.

    Aro: I'm afraid your particular gifts are too valuable to destroy, but... if you're unhappy with your lot, join us, we would be delighted to utilize your skills. Won't you consider staying with us?

    Edward Cullen: You know what would happen anyway.

    Marcus: Not without cause.

    Aro: Such a waste...

  • Aro: What a happy surprise... Bella is alive after all. Isn't that wonderful? I love a happy ending... they are so rare.

    Aro: [as he grabs Edward's hand to read his thoughts] La tua cantante. Her blood appeals to you so much... it makes me thirsty. How can you stand to be so close to her?

    Edward Cullen: It's not without difficulty.

    Aro: Yes I can see that.

    Edward Cullen: Aro can read every thought I ever had, with one touch. And now you know everything. So get on with it.

    Aro: You are quite a soul reader yourself Edward. Though, you can't read Bella's thoughts... Fascinating!

    Aro: [to Bella] I would love to see... if you are an exception to my gifts as well. Would you do me the honor?

    Aro: [after holding Bella's hand] Interesting. I see nothing. I wonder if... Let us see if she's immune to all our powers. Shall we, Jane?

    Edward Cullen: No!

    Jane: Pain.

    Bella Swan: [as Edward starts to writhe in pain] Stop! Stop, please! Stop! Stop! Just stop hurting him, please! Please!

    Aro: Jane?

    Jane: [as she stops torturing Edward] Master?

    Aro: Go ahead my dear.

    Jane: [to Bella] This may hurt just a little.

    Aro: [after nothing happens to Bella] Hahahahahaha. Remarkable. She confounds us all. So, what do we do with you now?

    Marcus: You already know what you're going to do Aro.

    Caius: She knows to much. She's a liability.

    Aro: That's true. Felix?

    Bella Swan: [after Edward saves her from being killed by attacking Felix, but is about to be killed himself] Please! No, no! Please! Kill me... kill me. Not him

    Aro: How extraordinary. You would give up your life... for someone like us. A vampire. A soulless monster.

    Edward Cullen: Bella get away from him.

    Bella Swan: You don't know a thing... about his soul.

    Aro: Forse è uno o l'altro. Ah this is a sadness. If only it where your intention to give her immortality.

    Alice Cullen: [Stopping Aro from killing Bella] Wait! Bella will be one us. I've seen it. I'll change her myself.

  • Aro: [after seeing Alice's vision of Bella as a vampire] Mesmerizing. To see what you have seen, before it is happened.

    Aro: [to Bella] Your gifts... will make for an intriguing immortal... Isabella. Go now, and make your preparations.

    Marcus: Let us be done with this. Heidi will arrive, any moment. Thank you... for your visit.

    Caius: We'll return the favor: I would advise that you followthrough on your promise soon... We do not offer second chances.

    Aro: Goodbye... my young friends.

  • Aro: What will we do with you now?

    Marcus: You already know what you're going to do, Aro.

    Caius: She knows too much. She's a liablity.

    Aro: That's true...

  • Marcus: You know what you have to do, Aro.

    Marcus: She is a liability.

  • Marcus: Money is all that matters. Well, I can get money! It's easy to get money! All you have to do... is kill.

  • Pontius Pilate: My boy, I've heard such ideas, a long time ago. They are dreams - beautiful dreams, I know, but dreams nonetheless.

    Flavius, as a Man: Was it a dream that once I knew a man who said "Love thy neighbor as thyself"?

    Marcus: There never was such a man, I tell you.

    Pontius Pilate: Don't lie to him, Marcus. There was such a man.

    Flavius, as a Man: What happened to him?

    Pontius Pilate: I crucified Him.

  • Marcus: He still believes in things.

    Pontius Pilate: And you and I are wiser? Perhaps... What is truth?

  • Cleon, the Slave Dealer: [pandering] If you're a rich man, a few coppers wouldn't interest you.

    [giving Marcus a coin]

    Cleon, the Slave Dealer: This is for your work...

    [he gives him a second copper]

    Cleon, the Slave Dealer: ... and this is for saving my life.

    Marcus: [laughing with contempt] Just about what the job is worth!

  • Gaius Tanno: You remind me of an acrobat in the arena walking on a rope stretched high in the air.

    Marcus: Walking on a rope?

    Gaius Tanno: Yes, a rope no wider than my thumb.

    Marcus: [laughing] I'm not walking on a rope.

    Gaius Tanno: Oh, yes, you are. Every poor man is. You think you're balanced nicely, but only money can make you safe. Some little unexpected thing, and you're down... smashed!

  • Cleon, the Slave Dealer: I don't think you should look down on me, my friend. Aren't we in the same business? We both furnish amusement for the people.

    Marcus: I risk my life with the man I'm fighting. You buy and sell wretches to be slaughtered as a spectacle. I'm not proud of myself, but, by Jupiter, compared to you I'm a holy man.

    Cleon, the Slave Dealer: You will never be an old one. It isn't bravery that survives; it's brains.

    Marcus: Yes, it is well known that the rat lives longer than the lion, but who wants to be a rat? I wouldn't do your dirty work - not to save my life!

  • Marcus: If you don't want my money, what will you give to the poor?

    Flavius, as a Man: Myself.

  • Prefect: What do you keep behind these locks and bolts?

    Marcus: My fortune, excellency. It's a safe place.

    Burbix: Would the prefect like to inspect the barbarians - the Britons who are to fight tomorrow?

    Marcus: Yes.

    [to the prefect]

    Marcus: Captives from Agricola's campaign.

    Prefect: I wonder why we Romans trouble ourselves with that wretched island? After it's conquered, what good is it?

    Marcus: Don't you believe we can ever civilize the Britons?

    Prefect: Those people? They'll always be barbarians. What will they ever do?

  • Pontius Pilate: [carelessly, after Marcus has thanked him for a payment] What have I done/

    [Suddenly stricken with guilt]

    Pontius Pilate: What have I done?

    Marcus: Excellency!

    Pontius Pilate: Forgive me. I am not myself. Just now I have been forced to condemn a Man. Poor Man, I found no fault in Him. But I must try to keep the peace.

  • Marcus: Now get your head out of my ass, you 'Brokeback Mountain' bitch.

  • Marcus: Yeah! Bounce to it!

  • Marcus: Say hello to my puddin pop!

  • Marcus: Come on, say that again, come on get in the car

    Bama: Its like when I'm right I'm right, when I'm wrong I could been right, so I'm still right cause I coulda been wrong, you know, and I'm sorry cause I could be wrong right now, I could be wrong, but if I'm right...

  • Marcus: Rule number five... Show no love. Love will get you killed.

  • Marcus: Crack meant money, money meant power and power meant war. We shot the Columbians, the Columbians shot us.

  • Charlene: So we have to go back?

    Marcus: There's just some things that need answers, I'd rather die like a man than live like a coward.

  • Marcus: I'm telling you, I'm big in the hood right now, I don't even remember my name. They callin' me handsome!

  • Marcus: Show no love. Love will get you killed.

  • Marcus: My voice sounds different.

    Charlene: It's better. It's got more pain in it.

  • Marcus: I can only pray that people will take me seriously. My music is my heart. I can't go out like a shit house nigger. That isn't who I was raised up to be, but I fear it's who I'll become.

  • Marcus: I told you don't shoot no body, and the first thing you do when we walk in this motherfucker is shoot somebody!

    Bama: Cause that's what I do, I kill motherfuckers! You know that.

  • Marcus: I'm a gangsta grandpa and I'm proud of it.

  • Charlene: So what is it that you do?

    Marcus: I'm a gangsta.

    Charlene: No really what do you do?

    Marcus: I'm a rapper.

    Charlene: No Marcus, what do you really do?

    Marcus: I'm a gangsta rapper.

  • Marcus: That Miep Gies lady, the one that help hide her, I like her. I got all these other books about her from the library.

    Erin Gruwell: Wow, you used your library card?

    Marcus: Nah...

  • Marcus: I've never had a hero before. But you are my hero.

    Miep Gies: Oh, no. No, no, no, young man, no. I am not a hero. No. I did what I had to do, because it was the right thing to do. That is all.

  • Marcus: No, that don't fly Ma.

    Erin Gruwell: First of all I'm not anybody's mother.

    Andre: No, that's not what it means.

    Eva: It's a sign of respect... for you.

  • Marcus: Clive was my boy. He had my back plenty of times. Me and him was like one fist. One army.

    [Clive pulls a gun out of a paper bag and accidentally shoots himself]

    Marcus: I sat there until the police came. But when they come, all they see is a dead body, a gun, and a nigger. They took me to juvenile hall. First night was the scariest. Inmates banging on the walls, throwing up gang signs, yelling out who they were and where they from. I cried my first night. I never let anybody know that. I spent the next few years in and out of cells. Every day I worry, when will I be free?

  • Marcus: Lady, stop acting like you tryin' to understand our situation, and just do your little babysitting up there.

    Erin Gruwell: That's what you think this is?

    Marcus: It ain't nothing else. When I look out in the world I don't see nobody that looks like me with their pockets full unless they're rapping a lyrics or dribbling a ball, so what else you got in here for me?

    Erin Gruwell: And what if you can't rap a lyric or dribble a ball?

    Andre: It ain't this.

    Marcus: I know that's right.

    Erin Gruwell: And you all think you're gonna make it to graduation like this?

    Andre: I made it to HIGH school ain't nobody stop me.

    Marcus: Lady I'm lucky if I make it to 18, we in a war! We graduating every day we live because we ain't afraid to die, protecting our own. At least when you die for your own, you die with respect, you die a warrior.

  • Ben: Ms. G, we can fight this y'know, like the Freedom Riders.

    Marcus: Yeh yeh, we all drive around on a bus, only this time they try and bust us up we bust a few of them board member's heads.

    Brandy: Or we can go to the newspapers. Media...?

    Tito: Or we can paint the administration building with the word assholes, in various colours.

  • Rachel: You're like a shark.

    Marcus: That kind of hurts my feelings a little bit. I'm actually a pretty sensitive guy.

    Rachel: Oh, really?

    Marcus: Once when I was nine years old, I saved the life of a chipmunk.

    Rachel: A chipmunk.

    Marcus: He fell out of our tree and almost died. He didn't know what to do, he couldn't even move. So I built a tiny little splint for his tiny, broken leg. And I carried him around in a BabyBjörn. And all the kids in my neighborhood, they laughed. They made fun of me, they threw rocks at me, but I didn't care. You know why?

    Rachel: Why?

    Marcus: Because all I saw was this little fur ball that needed love.

    Rachel: That's... really sweet.

    Marcus: I know. So next time you wanna call somebody a shark, just remember the chipmunk.

  • Chazz: Okay, lemme ask you a question: who's side did you take in the big David Lee Roth-Van Halen split?

    Chris Moore: What?

    Marcus: What kind of question is that?

    Chazz: Who's side did you take: Halen or Roth?

    Chris Moore: ...Van Halen

    Ian: HE'S A COP!

  • [crowd chants "Rodney King"]

    Marcus: "Rodney King"? What's that supposed to mean?

    Pip: He's that guy.

  • Marcus: Milo, didn't I tell you to knock when you come to my office?

    Milo: Just keep quiet and get that reel-to-reel deck down to the booth.

    Marcus: Oh, gonna tell me to shut up now? Uh-huh, uh-huh. See, a brother can't open his mouth without the white man slap him down.

    Milo: Just do it, Marcus.

    [Milo steps aside to reveal Rex holding a gun]

    Marcus: Damn.

  • [repeated line]

    Marcus: [spoken very low] Oh my god.

  • Marcus: 22:23 White man with a gun. Same shit been happenin' to my people for 425-odd years.

    Pip: Hey, man, you like working here? We're down, man, Hendrix was god.

    Marcus: You wanna take a step back, man? You're standing on my dick!

    Pip: Yeah, I seen that Antrax and Public Enemy. That was outta control, together, man. Did you catch that one, G?

    Marcus: Don't call me G!

    Pip: What do you want me to call you? Hey, come on, man.

    Marcus: All right, that's it! l can't wait for you to put that gun down, cos when you do we're gonna throw down. That's right, we gonna get serious. Mano-a-swine.

    Rex: Just shut your pie-hole and keep working.

    Marcus: "Pie-hole." What's that, some kind of cracker slang?

  • Marcus: I wanna be with her more, I wanna be with her all the time, and I wanna tell her things I don't even tell you or mum. And I don't want her to have another boyfriend. I suppose if I could have all those things, I wouldn't really mind if I touched her or not.

  • Marcus: Suddenly I realized - two people isn't enough. You need backup. If you're only two people, and someone drops off the edge, then you're on your own. Two isn't a large enough number. You need three at least.

  • Marcus: I used to want Will to marry my mom.

    Ali: You serious?

    Marcus: Yeah, but that was when she was depressed and I was desperate.

    Will: Thanks, mate.

  • Marcus: I got the letter. Thanks.

    Fiona: Oh my God. I'd forgotten.

    Marcus: You forgot? You forgot a suicide letter?

    Fiona: Well I didn't think I'd have to remember it, did I? Did you read the part where I said I'd always love you?

    Marcus: It's a bit hard for you to love me when you're dead, isn't it?

  • Ellie: You like rap?

    Marcus: A little. It's by black people mostly. And they're pretty angry most of the time. But sometimes they just want to have sex.

  • Marcus: There's this girl at school. Ellie. I kind of want her to be my girlfriend. But I'm not exactly sure. I've been meaning to ask you.

    Marcus: What's the difference between a girl who's your friend and a girlfriend?

    Will: Well, I don't know. Do you want to touch her?

    Marcus: Is that so important?

    Will: Yeah, you've heard about sex, right? It is kind of a big deal.

    Marcus: I know. I'm not stupid. I just can't believe there's nothing more to it. I mean, like, I want to be with her more. I want to be with her all the time.

    Marcus: And I want to tell her things I don't even tell you or Mum. And I don't want her to have another boyfriend. If I could have all those things... I wouldn't really mind if I touched her or not.

    Will: Well, you'll learn, Marcus. You won't feel like that forever.

  • Marcus: After a few visits, Will seemed to think he had to ask me serious questions, when I knew he really wanted to watch Xena Warrior princess.

  • Marcus: You don't give a shit about anyone and no one gives a shit about you!

  • Will: It's a CD, Marcus, by Mystikal. They're cool. You'll like them

    Fiona: What kind of music is Mystikal?

    Will: It's sort of, um, world music...

    Marcus: [reads a song title] "Shake Ya Ass."

    Will: ...Slash rap-type thing.

  • [singing along to the music that Will gave him]

    Marcus: Watch yourself! Shake your ass and watch yourself!

  • Marcus: [Opening a Christmas present] Oh brilliant! What is it?...

    Will: It's a CD Marcus...

  • Will: How do I look?

    Marcus: Good. How do I look?

    Will: Just... just be as normal as you can, alright?

  • Will: [thinking] Every man is an island. I stand by that. But clearly some men are island CHAINS. Underneath, they are connected...

    Marcus: [thinking] I used to think two was not enough. But now things are great; there are loads of people... I don't know what Will was so pissed about. I don't think couples are the future. The way I see it now, we both got back-up now. It's like that thing Jon Bon Jovi said: 'No man is an island.'

  • Marcus: [Out to lunch with Will & his mum] I made her put on that nice jumper.

    Will: As for his mum, she appeared to be clinically insane, and wearing some kind of yeti costume!

  • Will: Hang on, come back.

    Marcus: He's off his head!

    Will: He's not.

    Marcus: He said he'd cut me up into little pieces and hide me under the floorboards.

    Will: He did?

    Marcus: No, but I'm sure he's capable of it.

  • Marcus: I think I killed a duck!

  • Marcus: Oh, don't worry, I think your mum is keen on him.

    Ali: [shouting] She's not keen on him! She's only keen on me!

  • Fiona: I can understand why you're angry, Marcus. But I don't feel the same as I did yesterday, if it's any help.

    Marcus: What? It's all gone away? All that?

    Fiona: No, but, for the moment, I feel better.

    Marcus: The moment's no good for me. I can see you feel better at the moment. You just put the kettle on. What happens when you finish your tea? What happens when I go back to school? I can't be here to watch you all the time!

  • Marcus: I'll come if you take my mom, too. She hasn't got any money, so either we'll have to go somewhere cheap, or you'll have to treat us.

    Will: Well, listen, don't beat about the bush, Marcus.

    Marcus: Why should I? We're poor, you're rich, you pay. You can bring your little boy if you like. I don't mind.

    Will: That's really big of you.

  • Ali: If your dad goes out with my mum, you're gonna be dead, really dead.

    Marcus: I don't think it's really up to me, now is it?

    Ali: Well it better be... or you're gonna die.

  • Rachel: Allie finds all this rather difficult.

    Will: Well yeah, so does Marcus. Don't ya mate, divorced parents and not knowing how to feel about new people.

    Marcus: Absolutely. That's absolutely the way I feel.

  • Will: So... Hows it going at home then?

    Marcus: Me and my mum? She's alright thanks.

    Will: I mean... Y'know.

    Marcus: Yeah I know. Nah, nothing like that.

    Will: It still bother you then?

    Marcus: Does it bother me...

    Marcus: [Voice over] Every single day. That's why I come here instead of going home.

    Marcus: Yeah. When I think about it.

    Will: ...Fucking hell.

    Marcus: [Voice over] I didn't know why he swore like that, but it made me feel better. It made me feel like it wasn't being pathetic to get so scared.

  • Marcus: He fancies you. he told me.

  • Will: I want to go out with her, OK. I'd like her to be my girlfriend, here I said it.

    Marcus: How brilliant!

  • Marcus: We've got a job. I'm talking millions, this time.

    Willie: Why are you even out of the joint anyway? You know, they used to sterilize guys like you, to keep the world from becoming some negro Land of Oz.

    Marcus: Early release, you racist moron fuck!

  • Marcus: Damn, that's some fucked up shit!

  • [from trailer]

    Marcus: [to Willie] What... You don't trust your mama?

    Willie: I trust her about as far as I can throw you... And I trust you about as far as I can throw her.

  • Tiny: Yo, I told you, my mother's mother's mother was black!

    Marcus: Your mother's mother's mother, f*** - this ain't "Roots", mutha... Man, I wanna see a picture of this Nubian princess. If you were any less black, you would be clear.

  • Simon Baines: He's a good guy.

    Marcus: Oh, he's the good drug dealer.

  • Tiny: And whack! It hits her in the eye. And her contact? It's, like, stuck on the end of my dick!

    [Tiny waits for a reaction, but his friends are unimpressed. Only Marcus, in the front passenger seat, turns his head, alertly, like a lion smelling prey]

    Tiny: Yo, her contact was stuck on the end of my dick, yo!

    Marcus: Was it hard or was it soft?

    Tiny: What, my dick?

    Singh: The contact lens!

    Marcus: Do you remember if it was a colored lens? That she used to have two blue eyes, and now she had one blue and one brown?

    Tiny: [Still elated from telling his story] Hey, what the fuck does that matter?

    Marcus: [Marcus turns to look at Tiny over the headrest of the front passenger seat, and stares him straight in the eye] It matters because it happened to ME. That was my story. I told that story a year ago, man!

    Tiny: Aw, no.

    Marcus: The difference is that I knew those small but important details. That and, and my story was true.

    Tiny: Oh.

    [Embarrassed, he looks out the window, away from Marcus]

    Tiny: Whatever.

    Marcus: Whatever?

    Tiny: Whatever!

    Marcus: What do you mean, whatever?

    Tiny: Why don't you pull your stinky-dinky out of my ass? I'm just trying to make conversation. Fuck! Come on, why don't you give a nigger a break?

    Marcus: [Marcus turns around in the car seat again] "Nigger"? What nigger?

    [touches his own chest]

    Marcus: THIS nigger?

    Tiny: Yo, I told you, my mother's mother's mother were black!

    Marcus: Your mother's mother's mother, fuck - this ain't "Roots", mutha... Man, I wanna see a picture of this Nubian princess.

    [angry cross-talk]

    Marcus: If you were any less black, you would be clear.

    Tiny: That bitch was black as night!

    Singh: Okay! Stop! Truce!

    Tiny: But I see black. Because I know I am. Color's a state of mind, Marcus!

    Marcus: You know what, you right. Thank you, Rhythm Nation.

    [And the laughter and insults continue... ]

  • Marcus: If you were any less black, you'd be clear.

  • Marcus: Are you happy now? Is your British ass happy?

  • Marcus: Get away from me! You're bad luck!

  • Marcus: I'm not a bathroom attendant!

  • Danny O'Shea: [When the Giants, losing at the half, want to be put on the injured list] You know, there is something you guys should know. When I was 10 years old, I put myself on the injured list. I never got off.

    Timmy Moore: Why?

    Danny O'Shea: Cause I didn't get picked a few times, so I started hiding under the bleachers.

    Marcus: That's where we belong, under the bleachers.

    Danny O'Shea: No you don't. You guys belong out there with those Cowboys. You know how I know that? Because I belong out there with my brother.

    Rudy Zolteck: Give us a break, coach. You could never beat Kevin O'Shea at anything!

    Danny O'Shea: That's not true. I did beat him once.

    Jake Berman: When?

    Danny O'Shea: When we were kids. We used to race our bikes down Cherry Hill every day after school. We raced every day and he always beat me, but one time, one time I beat him.

    Jake Berman: You beat Kevin down Cherry Hill?

    Danny O'Shea: Yes, I did. He ate my dust.

    Johnny Vennaro: Big deal. One time.

    Tad: You know, one time at Randy Cooper's swim party, I did a backflip off the high dive, and my brother chickened out.

    Marcus: Roger chickened out? He's a Marine!

    Rudy Zolteck: Ah, that's nothing! One time at the spring carnival, I beat both of my brothers in the Cow Dung Toss.

    Tad: You beat Matt and Brett in the turd toss?

    Jake Berman: You know, one time I went fishing with my entire family, and I was the only one that didn't throw up.

    Marcus: So, what? It still doesn't make us good football players.

    Danny O'Shea: Well, wait a second, guys. Who said you had to be good to play football? You play football because you want to. You play football because it's fun. You play football so you could pretend you're Joe Montana throwing a touchdown pass, or Emmitt Smith going for a long run. And even if those Cowboys are better than you guys, even if they beat you 99 times out of 100, that still leaves.

    Tad: One time.

    Rudy Zolteck: One time.

    Junior Floyd: [Smiles] Yeah one time!

  • [Willie has just passed out]

    Gin: Look here, get himy outta here and I'll go smooth things over with Chipeska, Tell him it was food poisoning or something.

    Marcus: What do you mean, get him outta here?

    Gin: Take him to the car.

    Marcus: In case you didn't notice I'm a motherfucking dwarf, so unless you got a forklift handy, maybe you should lend a hand hmm?

    Gin: That figures. You want all kind of set-asides. Special treatment 'cause you're handicapped. You're all the same.

    Marcus: Special treatment? I'm 3-foot-fucking-tall you asshole! It's a matter of physics. Draw me a sketch of how I get him to the car, huh?

    Gin: Bitch, Bitch, Bitch!

    Marcus: Sketch it up, you fucking moron. Fucking Leonardo da Vinci.

    Gin: What'd you call me thigh-high?

    Marcus: I called you a fucking guinea homo from the 15th-fucking-century, you dickhead!

    Gin: I could stick you up my ass, small fry.

    Marcus: Yeah? You sure it ain't too sore from last night?

    Gin: You got some lip on you midget.

    Marcus: Yeah? Well these lips were on your wife's pussy last night. Why don't you dust that thing off once in a while? Asshole!

  • Marcus: You're an emotional fucking cripple. Your soul is dog shit. Every single fucking thing about you is ugly.

  • Willie: You know, I think I've turned a corner.

    Marcus: Yeah? You fucking petites now?

    Willie: No, I'm not talking about that. I beat the shit out of some kids today. But it was for a purpose. It made me feel good about myself. It was like I did something constructive with my life or something, I dunno, like I accomplished something.

    Marcus: You need many years of therapy. Many, many fuckin' years of therapy.

  • Marcus: It won't happen again. I can promise you that. Willie here has low blood sugar. That's all.

    Willie: That's right. I forgot to take my pill.

    Bob Chipeska: It's not just the swearing. Forgive me for prying, but did one of you, um, fornicate...

    Willie: Fornicate?

    Bob Chipeska: Yes. With a heavy-set woman in the big-and-tall dressing room?

    Willie: Look, I've boned a lot of fat chicks in my time, sure. But, as far back as I can remember, I've never fornicated anybody.

    Bob Chipeska: Yes... Well, even still, I think it's best for all parties considered if we...

    Marcus: If we what?

    Bob Chipeska: Well, I have somebody else interested in the position.

    Willie: Before you do something stupid you might want to think about this shit.

    Bob Chipeska: What are you talking about?

    Willie: I'm talking about firing a little black midget. A small, colored, African-American small person. That's what I'm talking about. I'm talking about your face all over goddamn USA Today, that's what I'm talking about. I'm talking about 150 of these little motherfuckers all over the sidewalk out there. Holding picket signs and using bullhorns and shit like that. Screaming and hollering your name out. Unfair practices, get me?

    Bob Chipeska: Oh no, this is not a handicapped thing. I have nothing against you people.

    Willie: You people? Did you hear that Marcus? He said 'You People.'

    Marcus: Who the hell is us people?

    Bob Chipeska: No... He said... But... what... No no. Um, I think it's best if we just forget we had this conversation.

    Willie: Good thinking. And don't worry about us. We'll be fine. Let's get the hell out of here Marcus.

    [Willie and Marcus get up to leave as Willie turns back to Bob]

    Willie: You're pathetic.

  • Willie: You can't drink worth shit.

    Marcus: I weigh 92 pounds, you dick!

  • Marcus: How much?

    Gin: Half.

    Willie: No fucking way...

    Marcus: Just back off, Will, I got this. I got this! Okay, 30%. That's three of us. 30%, that's fair.

    Gin: Half.

    Marcus: I meant 33%.

    Gin: I meant half.

    Marcus: And 1/3.

    Gin: Half.

    Marcus: 35%.

    Gin: Half.

    Marcus: 40%.

    Gin: Half.

    Marcus: 42%?

    Gin: Half.

    Marcus: Um... 45%.

    Gin: [Thinks for a minute] Half.

    Marcus: 48%?

    Gin: [In British accent] Half.

    Marcus: 49%?

    Gin: Half.

  • Gin: We split the dough right down the middle. Any merchendise you take, I get to look at and cherry pick.

    Marcus: No. Money is one thing but you ain't getting the sh...

    Gin: This ain't no Chinese menu, jagoff! I tell YOU how it's gonna be. This is pricks fix!


    Willie: Pricks fix?

    Marcus: Ah, he's a fucking moron.

    Willie: Oh really? Is that how you got the upper hand?

    Marcus: Fuck you.

    Willie: Negotiating?

    Marcus: You don't like it? Next year, fuck off. I can always get another box jockey.

    Willie: Yeah and I can get another midget too.

    Marcus: Yeah? Where? You see us hanging off of fucking trees like fucking crab apples?

  • Marcus: [Willie, as Santa, is scratching his butt while a line of kids looks on] I don't think you should be digging in your ass.

  • Marcus: You fuck her?

    Willie: Jesus Christ! Is everything fuckin' sex with you?

    Marcus: With me? I fuck one person! I ain't out there serial fornicatin', tryin' to float my liver, drinkin' myself silly, cuz I can't stand what a piece of shit I am.

    Willie: What are you, Sigmund Sawed-Off Fuckin' Freud?

  • Marcus: More booze, more bullshit, more butt-fucking

    Willie: Sure, the 3 B's.

  • Marcus: You are by far the dumbest, most pathetic piece of maggot eatin' shit that has every slid from a human being's hairy ass.

  • Marcus: If I call you next December, IF I call you next December, you're gonna be so happy to hear from me, you're gonna do a goddamn back flip. You're gonna put that Santa hat on so fast that you're gonna get fucking hat-burn.

  • Marcus: [after seeing Willie dry-humping a young girl playing pinball] That's just the kind of shit that's gonna get us pinched.

    Willie: She said she was 18.

    Marcus: But you promised no arcades! You said you'd only hustle Big and Tall.

    Willie: What, you shat me outta your womb? You're my fucking mom now? I don't need any god damn lectures outta you. I know how to keep a low profile, thank you.

    [Willie turns off the alarm on a stolen BMW automobile]

    Marcus: What the *fuck* is this, Mr. Low Profile?

    Willie: Mind your own god damn business.

    [He opens the car and a pile of empty beer bottles and cans fall out, then starts the car and drives away, shattering several beer bottles]

    Marcus: [shouting] Ever hear of the Open Bottle Law?

  • [repeated line]

    Marcus: Fuck you, Willie!

  • Willie: [upon seeing the safe] Oh shit.

    Marcus: What? What?

    Willie: It's a Kintnerboy Redoubt.

    Marcus: So?

    Willie: Remember Andy Pitz?

    Marcus: Andy Pitzerelli, yeah.

    Willie: No, Andy Repitski. Andy Pitzerelli was Andy Blue Balls.

    Marcus: Since he got married they called him Andy Pitzerelli. What's your fucking point?

    Willie: Well they say he can get into anything. Anything. They say he's been in Margaret Thatcher's pussy.

    Marcus: And that's a good thing? So what the fuck are you getting at?

    Willie: When I was in the joint with him, he told me the Kintnerboy Redoubt can't be cracked.

    Marcus: Are you shitting me? Are you telling me that after I propped you up, held you together, smiled for all those kids, danced for all those fuckin' housewives in a fucking lime green fucking velvet elf costume, that you cannot crack this fucking safe? Is that what you telling me?

    Willie: No, I'm just saying it's gonna take a minute.

  • Marcus: You could never front your own racket and do you know why, Willie? Because you got no discipline, you got zero fucking initiative. You'd fall apart without me. You're just too pathetic for words. You're a fuckin' loser and you fuckin' know it.

  • Willie: [to Marcus] Why don't you get going? You'll be late for your... Wizard of Oz Candy Bar Guild.

    Marcus: Lollipop Guild, you asshole. Jesus! Two-year-olds flip me better shit than you.

    Willie: You saying something to me?

    Marcus: Yeah, I'm gonna stick my whole fist up your ass!

    Willie: [gives Marcus the finger as he walks away]

  • [Unrated Version and Director's Cut]

    [after crushing Gin between the two cars]

    Marcus: Oh, my. What a terrible accident. Mm-mm-mm...

  • [waiting to ambush Gin]

    Marcus: There he is. That lousy, leather-faced, frog-eyed motherfucker.

  • Marcus: [looking over the list of items his girl wants him to steal] I have to get a loofah and a...

    [he's about to turn around when the safe door swings open. Stacks of money fall out of the door]

    Marcus: Fuck the loofah, let's go!

  • Bob Chipeska: Hi. Bob Chipeska. Welcome. Great photo and resume by the way.

    Marcus: Thanks. You know, we've been at this for a long time and all, so we like to think we do a good job.

    Bob Chipeska: You two are perfect for this job, truly. So, I don't want his unpleasentness affect your performance in any way.

    Marcus: Oh no. We...

    Willie: Performance?

    Bob Chipeska: Yes. Your performance. You know, the...

    Willie: Do you mean sexual?

    [Bob looks up at Willie in confusion]

    Bob Chipeska: Excuse me?

    Willie: Are you saying there's something wrong with my gear? Is that what you're saying to me?

    Bob Chipeska: I'm sorry, your gear?

    Marcus: Willie...

    Willie: My fuck stick

    [Bob makes a disgusted look]

    Marcus: Willie, take a seat. You know how your blood sugar is.

    Bob Chipeska: He's not going to say fuck stick in front of the children, is he?

    Marcus: No! It was just a joke. An adult joke. For us, adults. It's a joke. Just a joke.

  • Marcus: You probably shouldn't be digging in your ass.

  • Willie: Whatcha my mom now? You shat me out of your womb?

    Marcus: You said that yesterday, you stupid fuck.

  • Marcus: Oh, my. What a darling photo. Are you certain you only want this single? Additional photos come in handy as gifts for grandma and grandpa, or as a wonderful remembrance for friends.

    [photo of Santa looking down and young girl looking away]

    Milwaukee Mom with Photo: Gee, you know what? This one, I think it's more than enough. Thanks. Merry Christmas...

  • Marcus: Motherfucker! Oh you lousy, fucking motherfucker.

  • Willie: Bet the store dick don't want this.

    Marcus: Store dick don't want shit. Store dick's dead.

  • Police Chief: Drop the gun!

    Marcus: Huh?

    Police Chief: And you, Santa, drop the elephant!

    Marcus: How did you get here?

    Police Chief: Tipped off.

    Willie: Oh, shit, that fucking kid!

    Police Chief: All three of you are in so much shit, it's almost unbelievable.

  • Marcus: Merry Christmas! Santa's coming! YAY!

    [children cheering]

    Marcus: Merry Christmas! Santa's coming! YAY! MERRY CHRISTMAS!

  • Marcus: Any kids?

    Antwone "Ant" Swann: None that I know of.

    Marcus: You doing somethin'?

    Antwone "Ant" Swann: I'm doing a li'l somethin'.

    Marcus: Boy, you ain't doin' nothin', boy! What's your last place of employment, youngblood?

    Antwone "Ant" Swann: Cleaning.

    Marcus: Cleaning? Looks like Swann Cleaning Service 'bout to lose an employee.

    Marcus: You wanna work, right?

    Antwone "Ant" Swann: Yeah.

    Marcus: But you know this is grown-man business, right?

    Antwone "Ant" Swann: I know.

    Marcus: You sure?

    Antwone "Ant" Swann: Uh-huh.

    Marcus: Okay. We'll see.

  • Austin: This is Ant.

    Antwone "Ant" Swann: [extends hand] Sup?

    Marcus: [extends fist for pound] Germs. Cleanliness is next godliness, right?

    Antwone "Ant" Swann: Aight.

    Marcus: Back up.

  • Marcus: It's all part of the game, young fuck buck.

  • Ben: Can you see anything from up there?

    Marcus: I can see there ain't no dead elephant man gonna kill me!

  • Ben: Come on, this is gonna be fun.

    Marcus: About as fun as crabs.

    Ben: You would know.

    Marcus: Screw that waitress from Fezzywigs, man.

    Ben: You did.

    Marcus: I didn't know she had bugs in her bush!

    Ben: She was scratching herself all night! What do you mean you didn't know? You can't hook up with itchy chicks, Marcus. Everyone knows that.

    Marcus: She said it was a reaction to her fabric softener. I saw it, I asked.

    Ben: Fabric softener!

    Marcus: Look at you Mister Bigshot. Everyone knows that. When's the last time you got laid?

    Ben: ...I have sex all the time...

    Marcus: -shut up.

  • Ben: We want to do a haunted swap tour.

    Rev. Zombie: I don't do night tours anymore, I'm not allowed to. Insurance got to high after what happened.

    Marcus: Too bad. Let's go.

    Ben: Wait, wait, what happened?

    Rev. Zombie: Oh, you *dont* want to know.

    Ben: [eagerly] I so want to know.

    Rev. Zombie: I had a tour group, out in the swamp, last Halloween. It was the mist of night, and there was this kid, who looked kind of like you, he was spooked by something in the marsh. He saw two eyes staring at him from the woods, it chilled him to his very marrow. He wanted to get off the boat in a hurry, and he had his foot dangling over the edge. He...

    Ben: He fell in?

    Marcus: A gator got him?

    Rev. Zombie: He slipped, hit his head, on the roof... and sued me for negligence! That cock sucker!

    Ben: [disapointed] That's it?

  • Shawn: The tour is leaving right now, it's forty bones each.

    Ben: Forty dollars?

    Marcus: Can you spot me?

    Ben: What, you don't have any cash?

    Marcus: No, I'm just not paying for this bullshit.

  • Shawn: [on a tour bus, over the PA system] Okay folks, I am your tour guide Shawn. Just sit back and get ready to enjoy some...

    Marcus: [interrupting him] Ah, buddy, you don't need that thing. This is, like, the size of a Mini Cooper.

    Shawn: [grumbles to himself in Chinese]

  • Marcus: Are you afraid I'm going to kick your ass again you little bitch?

  • Marcus: You look like you been molested by wolves!

  • Shapiro: They probably got stuck just like we did and had to walk the whole way home. Right now they're probably sitting in a Denny's or something.

    Marcus: Moons Over My Hammy, yo.

  • Marcus: [about Marybeth] Someone wanna explain why Janey's got a gun?

    Shawn: [to Marybeth] Yeah, why do you have a gun?

    Marybeth: Why should I tell you, you little con artist?

  • Ben: I'm Ben.

    Marybeth: [blandly] Mary Beth.

    Ben: Marybeth? That's a great name, because it's, it's actually two names. Most people just have one and that's kinda boring. Like Ben. But Marybeth, that's Mary *and* it's Beth. That's a nice coat.

    Marcus: [looks at him puzzled]

    Ben: So do you have any pets?

    Marcus: [smacks him on the back of the head]

    Ben: [to Marybeth] Are you enjoying Mardi Gras?

  • Marcus: [making fun of the lines Ben was using on the woman sitting next to him] "That's a nice coat." You got some great lines.

    Ben: [trying to make a rebuttal] What about some of your lines? That's about as classic as... That's about as classic as... I got nothing.

    Marcus: Exactly!

  • Shawn: [Marcus and Shawn are propping up the injured Mr. Permatteo on both sides] I just wanna know why the crackers are back there with the honeys, while the brothers gotta carry the injured dude.

    Marcus: I just want to get to a road - then I'm gonna whup your ass.

  • Angela: You got VD?

    Marcus: [whispers] Can we talk about this in private?

    Angela: No, I think y'all been talking in private quite enough. How long have you had it?

    Marcus: About a week.

    Angela: Was it Keisha?

    Marcus: [shakes his head yes] .

    Angela: No, you didn't get it from her. You got it from Walter.

    Marcus: What? What are you talking about? I ain't gay!

    Angela: No, I slept with him. I got my shot. I was just waiting for you to say something.

  • Marcus: You women are so used to losing that you don't even realize when you have won!

  • Marcus: Could you lay off of that for a while?

    Angela: Could you go to HELL for a while?

  • Angela: [answering the phone] Hello?, Hello?

    Marcus: [takes the phone] Baby... These are text messages. You can't answer these.

  • Marcus: I could go buy something at the store - those people *have* to talk to you.

  • Marcus: I should eat at home and save my money for call girls.

  • Marcus: At least this is better than my last job, changing those aromatic urinal cakes.

  • Marcus: My heart is bound to explode if I keep eating like this.

  • Marcus: My chin is being swallowed up by the abyss once known as my neck

  • Marcus: Am I going insane? I hope I'm just drunk!

  • Marcus: I wish I could safely pull out my heart and massage it

  • Marcus: This is kind of expensive, but it'll be worth it to go out on a date.

  • Marcus: Can I feel those?

  • Marcus: I want to fuck your ass.

    Alex: I thought you were romantic.

  • Marcus: Who are you?

    Mourad: Who am I? Until proof of the contrary, I can be your best friend.

  • Alex: I've been reading the most amazing book.

    Marcus: So what is it?

    Alex: It says that the future is already written. It's all there. And the proof lies in premonitory dreams.

    Pierre: Wow! It's putting us to sleep already!

    Marcus: Even dreams are bad news.

    Pierre: I often dream I'm sleeping. It's my only dream.

    Alex: Well, at least you relax!

  • Marcus: Off to The Rectum!

  • [looking at Alex and a few girls dancing together]

    Pierre: Look how beautiful she is.

    Marcus: Look how beautiful THEY are! A blonde! A brunette! A blonde! A brunette!

  • Marcus: Why don't you rummage through your shitass genetic code?

  • Marcus: [dancing with Alex] Say my name... Marcus... Marcus...

  • Marcus: Yes?

    Elise: Marcus, it's Paul on the phone from Paris.

    Marcus: Okay. Come in! Hello? Hello, Paul. Yes, chickenpox, that's right. The flight was fine. Yes? She's very beautiful. That's goes without saying. I'm sure we will. Quiet sure. Okay. Here she is.

    Elise: Paul? Hmm? Darling it's a terrible Yes? Saturday night dinner with Clive? Huh? You don't have to explain. Paul?

    [Marcus touches Elise's clothed breasts]

    Elise: I must go.

  • Marcus: I might have sold a thing or two. It's not like killing people or selling drugs.

  • Benny: What do you want to be? Are you gonna be like a farmer or something?

    Marcus: I guess I could be a farmer.

    Benny: Yeah, I wanted to be a cop. But now that we steal so much, it's probably not a good idea.

  • [talking about New Mexico compared to New York]

    Marcus: And the air? It don't smell like this shit.

    Melena: You remember what the air smelled like from when you were five?

    Marcus: No, but I've seen pictures and I know it don't smell like this shit.

    Melena: You can't smell pictures, Marcus.

  • Marcus: Bunch of bastards! Bunch of fucking bastards!

  • Ali Rose: Where I come from friends don't chew on each others earlobes!

    Marcus: Aren't you glad you left?

  • Marcus: Wow. I can't believe Tess has you buried in the kick line.

    Ali Rose: She didn't know I sang.

    Marcus: Well, you certainly can. And you are way too good to be doing it here.

  • Ali Rose: Oh wow... L.A. looks gorgeous from up here.

    Marcus: That view cost me three times what the house did. See that strip mall down there?

    Ali Rose: You own that too?

    Marcus: No. I own everything above it.

    Ali Rose: There is nothing above it.

    Marcus: Exactly.

    Ali Rose: [sardonically] So you own air.

    Marcus: Air rights. The guy that owns the strip mall ran into some money issues, almost had to sell. Whoever he sold it to would've put up a huge tower. So I bought the air rights. Now, no one can ever build above one storey.

    Ali Rose: Well, aren't you clever.

    Marcus: Mall guy gets to keep his property, I get to keep the second best view in L.A.

    Ali Rose: What's the first?

    Marcus: [gazes silently and steadily at Ali, while sipping wine]

    Ali Rose: [rolls eyes] Ugh... How many girls have you used that line on?

    Marcus: None ever who called me on it.

  • Marcus: You know, not that I give a shit, but why is it that you want my club so badly?

    Marcus: I like it. When I see something I like, I have to have it. Been that way since I was a kid.

    Tess: That must have made you very popular in the sandbox.

    Marcus: [grins] I did okay.

  • Marcus: Remember, you got that balloon payment due on the first.

    Tess: [annoyed, to Vince] Did you also tell him I have a tattoo on my ass?

    Vince: [earnestly] No... it's business.

    Marcus: I don't think you're gonna get another opportunity like this. So take it.

    Tess: [after some contemplation, then firmly] No.

    Vince: [quickly, to Marcus] She means not now.

    Tess: No, no. "Not now" means not now, Vince. "No" means no. Marcus, I don't care what you're offering. My club is not for sale.

  • Ali Rose: Wait a minute...


    Ali Rose: You had to make an appearance at your own party?

    Marcus: Would've been rude not to, right?

  • Mason: You got some new lyrics you want to try out on me?

    Marcus: There's a lot of fucks in it.

    Mason: I won't tell.

  • Marcus: I rebuke the spirit of drugs in the name of Jesus. What's his name?

    Drummer: I.B. Bangin'.

    Marcus: What you mean I.B. Bangin'?

    Drummer: I.B. Bangin'!

    Marcus: What the hell kind of name is I.B. Bangin'?

    Drummer: I don't know his real name.

    I.B.'s Girlfriend: It's Frederick Smith.

    Marcus: Okay, Freddy...

    I.B.'s Girlfriend: It's Frederick.

    Marcus: Okay, I.B. Bangin', we're gonna bring you back from the dead.

  • [Frank and Marcus are delivering a baby in a rundown building]

    Frank Pierce: Oh Jesus, we'd better go. Call for backup. It's coming.

    Marcus: My God, Frank, what the hell is that?

    Frank Pierce: It's three legs.

    Marcus: That's too many.

  • Marcus: Don't tell me about the Good book now, son. I'll preach heaven and beat the hell outta you.

  • Marcus: Rule Number One: Don't get involved with patients. Rule Number Two: don't get involved with patients' daughters, now do you understand that?

    Frank Pierce: What about Rule Number Three: Don't get involved with dispatchers named Love?

    Marcus: Boy, you don't know nothin' bout Rule Number Three! Can't even begin to understand the complexities of that rule!

  • Marcus: I'm a true cocksman. I don't mix my seed. The only time I touch a white woman is when I'm holding her down for the police.

  • Marcus: The first step is love, the second is mercy.

  • Marcus: Ever notice people who see shit are always crazy?

  • Frank Pierce: [listening to the radio] Hey, it's Love!

    Marcus: Yep, she only works when I'm workin'.

    Frank Pierce: I heard you and Love went on a blind date.

    Marcus: Yeah.

    Frank Pierce: She hit you with a bottle?

    Marcus: Why you gotta bring that up? She loved me like no woman ever has.

  • George Lonegan: I'm sorry, I'm losing him now. He's leaving. He wants to leave.

    Marcus: No, Jase. Don't go. You can't.

    [starts crying]

    Marcus: Don't leave me. I don't wanna be here without you. Please, Jase, don't go. I miss you.

    George Lonegan: Okay, he came back. He's here. He says if you're worried about being on your own, don't be. You're not. Because he is you and you are him. One cell. One person. Always.

  • Marcus: There's no water... within a hundred miles o' here!

    [the two men hopelessly stand by the dead mule in the middle of the desert]

    Marcus: We... are... dead... men!

  • Marcus: Mac, old pal, I wantcha to shake hands with my cousin, Trina Sieppe. She's my sweetie!

  • Marcus: Don't do anything I wouldn't do... you know!

  • Tommy 'Tiny' Lister: The Sunday Morning Rapture. If Jehovah came back RIGHT NOW, would you make it in?

    Marcus: Oh man that some fools man, no, hey my mom be talking about that crap sometimes, know? The Rapture, Jesus coming back...

    Tommy 'Tiny' Lister: Well y'all heard of Pac, right? Tupac Shakur, right?

    [everyone agrees]

    Tommy 'Tiny' Lister: I did his last movie called Gang Related, and I had this opportunity to tell him about this gangsta called Jesus Christ. I punked out Shak telling him about who Jesus Christ was, to get HIM ready for the Rapture. So I'm telling y'all real talk, how many times you watch my movie?

    [guys start counting]

    Tommy 'Tiny' Lister: Well I tell you what, listen up, this is the game we gonna play. If I make this shot, everybody's in church with me, alright?

  • Glass - Member of The Order: See you in the next life.

    Marcus: Don't you ever get tired of saying that?

  • Edward: She's mine and you know that.

    Marcus: She will never love you.

    Edward: You wait until I cherish her. You will soon be forgotten.

  • Liz: What if they're waiting for us?

    Marcus: Or maybe they just kept going like they didn't give a shit.

  • Liz: Hunters?

    Marcus: Not around here.

  • Craig: I reckon one of the drivers shot his mate... this place does strange things too people.

    Nina: Unless the truck started driving on its own.

    Marcus: You drove us here.

    Craig: What am I supposed to do?

    Nina: How about never leaving your vehicle.

    Marcus: That's what you wanted right? Feel better now can you sleep at night?

  • Marcus: Here's your fucking water.

    Craig: You won't survive without me when that psycho finds you.

    Marcus: Just try not to show where the rest of us are.

    Craig: You'll be dingo food before the day is out.

  • Craig: What have these crazy bitches done to you?

    Marcus: We didn't take the truck... the truck took you.

    Marcus: You've been a good mate to me you know that I gotta say you don't look too good.

    Craig: Look Marcus here it comes you know when I said I'm sorry I fucked her? I lied.

    Marcus: We have too go, this place makes people weird.

    Craig: Jesus could you give it a rest we're all acting weird we're stuck in the middle of nowhere on a bloody road train.

  • Bradley: Hey kid go tell Swaney that the Head wants to see Jason Banks.

    Bradley: [Kid tells him to go tell them himself] Oi you cheeky little prick, do as you're told.

    Marcus: Kids these days, No fucking respect.

    Bradley: I blame the schools.

  • Bradley: Have you been upsetting my guests?

    Jez: No bro, I was joking, ya get me? Wah

    [Jez gropes Marcus' fake boobs]

    Marcus: Don't play with the things.

    Bradley: I ain't your fucking bro.

    Jez: Listen you lot need to chill out, it's Darren Mullet's leaving do. The fat twat is dead, you gotta drink to that. Ya get me? Gimme some.

    [Jez holds his hands up to slap onto Marcus'. Marcus doesn't move and pulls jez hands down]

    Bradley: Why the fuck did you just say that shit to me?

    Jez: Bradley, mate it's me.

    Bradley: Sort him out

    [walks away]

    Jez: [Jez calls after him] Mate come on. Bradley, it's me, it's Jeremy.

    Marcus: Shhhhhhhhhhh...

    [Marcus shouts in the style of Leonidas in 300]

    Marcus: SUCK MY TITTIES!

    [kicks Jez into the pool]

  • Bradley: Fuck me, i'm out of breath. Now what i was trying to say was how sorry I am that Mullet decided to top himself. A bit selfish of him really, leaving Mr. jizzy no mates here, not one fat spaz to call a friend.

    Jason: YOU BASTARD!

    Bradley: Arr! You're a plucky little fucker aren't you. Now Mullet is dead which means he can't be sending us texts, I don't think that he can get a signal up there, do you?

    Marcus: I can't even get a signal in the bogs.

    Bradley: Exactly. Now being Shrek risen from the dead, ain't a bad gag. So give me his phone and we'll call it quits.

    Jason: I haven't got his phone.

    Bradley: Jason, Jason, Jason, you're only hurting yourself mate

    [punches Jason in the face]

  • Marcus: It's from mullet.

    [receives a text]

    Bradley: Can't be.

    Marcus: Who is doing this Brad?

    Bradley: Who is doing this Brad?

    [he says mockingly]

    Bradley: How the FUCK should I know?

    [kicks jason]

    Marcus: Brad, Wasn't him.

    Bradley: I don't give a fuck, gets on my tits anyway.

  • Marcus: Is it true then? Are you actually kicking in her back door?

    Bradley: That's my girlfriend you're talking about you fucking moron.

    Marcus: I said not to CALL ME THAT!

    [They both laugh]

    Marcus: Twat.

  • Marcus: Just so you know, threats are a big no-no with Alice.

  • Marcus: I've been saving a bottle of wine for a rainy day.

    Grost: [looking up at clear sky] It's pouring.

  • Grost: I suspect mesmerism in this.

    Marcus: Mesmerism?

    Grost: Hypnotism. The subjugation of the mind.

    Marcus: You don't believe in that nonsense, do you? Well, it is highly improbable.

    Grost: What could be more improbable than God? But I believe in Him.

  • Marcus: Man, you gonna get a nigga locked up!

  • [repeated line]

    Marcus: Eveybody got their thing man!

    Marcus: Let's see what santa's got in his bag

    Marcus: He's dry...

    [reveals his burns]

    Marcus: I'm not so pretty anymore

    [shows his bite mark]

    Marcus: I've got you to thank for that

    Marcus: You know at first i was pissed at you... nothing like waking up in the middle of nowhere with half your face on fire.

  • Marcus: You leaving me here?

    Jacob: Relax... it'll be over soon

    [last lines]


  • Marcus: You know too many of my secrets boy... you better change your tune... or we gonna have a problem!

    Marcus: You know i was really pissed off at you man... there is nothing worse than waking up in the middle of nowhere with half your face on fire! But i got over it... once i got my first taste... i got over it real fast

    Marcus: You know you got to drop the morales kid... you ain't gonna survive with that over you

    Marcus: [on jacob's vampirism] You're probably damned anyway

    Marcus: [Standing on a nightime bridge with jacob overlooking the oncoming traffic below] Look At Them All! You think they're happy? Most of them are probably staring at those tail lights in front of them... wondering what the hell it's all about... why they're here! Man i saw it everyday at that hospital... a part of me wanted to help... but there was nothing in it for me... and now there is!

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