Marco Quotes in Die Hard (1988)

John McClane: [upon seeing Marco arrive, suspense music plays] Freeze m*th*rf*cker!

Marco: [panicking] Oh God! Don't shoot! Don't shoot!

John McClane: Drop the gun!

Marco: [starts to do so] Ok! But don't shoot! Don't shoot!

John McClane: Put it on the ground!

Marco: [still doing so but very slowly] I know! But don't shoot! Don't shoot!

Heinrich: [music changes to a climatic theme as Heinrich comes in] Marco duck!

Marco: [John easily shoots Heinrich but Marco manages to take cover. John then hides under a long conference table]

[after a quick scene change Marco is on the table shooting it as he walks down it]

Marco: You a dog now. Where you going pal? Soon there will be no more table.

[empties his clip and jams a fresh one in]

Marco: Next time you have a chance to kill someone, don't hesitate.

[prepares to start shooting again when... ]

John McClane: [fires upwards several times riddling Marco with bullets. Marco drops dead on the table with bullets and wood splinters in him] Thanks for the advice.

Marco: [looks at Stanley while packing away a rocket launcher] What?

[pauses then looks to a hostage]

Marco: I know what you're thinking. You're thinking: If that launcher was a suppository, would that bad man stick it up my ass? Well, you eyeball me once more boy,

[puts a handgun to the hostage's head]

Marco: and i'll stick it so far up your ass you'll be begging me for this bullet.

Marco: Time to clean up.

Marco: You know this could dangerous.

Nikita: What's the worst that could happen?

Marco: Leftovers?

Marco: Stop before it's too late.

Marco: You know how long I been waitin here?

Jimmy Pockets: I don't know, fifteen minutes?

Marco: I been waitin three fuckin years and fifteen minutes.

Marco: You know what I'm gonna do when I get out? I'm gonna get me a nice, cold beer. A slice of Sicilian. Nice piece of ass. And then you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna fidn the rat fucker that put me in here, and slice his motherfuckin throat from ear to ear.

Fritzy: If this comes back to me in any way, I don't know you.

Marco: That's why we're not havin this conversation.

Marco: How's my sweet lil' Betsy doin?

[Leon punches him]

Marco: Say man, you gonna rap to us?

Abar: Beware of the pigs, man.

Marco: A dream will always be deceived by reality.

Marco: Even if you a struck by an indescribable loneliness. Go on and turn into somebody, who can comfort others.

Marco: Perhaps all of us are only a dream of somebody.

Marco: Did Sleeping Beauty want to wake up at all?

Marco: Hey! No admittance without a garage pass!

Fred: Oh, it's OK! Lightning McQueen knows me!

Mario Andretti: [approaching] Hey, Marco! Lovely day for a race, isn't it?

Marco: Absolutely, Mr. Andretti!

Mario Andretti: And good morning to you, uh...

[glances at Fred's license plate]

Mario Andretti: Fred.

Fred: AHH! Mario Andretti knows my name! You have to let me in now!

Marco: Sorry, buddy.

[improvising an educational song]

Dewey Finn: Math is a wonderful thing. Math is a really cool thing. So get off your ath, let's do some math. Math, math, math, math, math. Three minus four is?

Summer Hathaway: Negative one.

Dewey Finn: That's right. And six times a billion is?

Marco: Six billion?

Dewey Finn: Nailed it. And fifty-four is forty-five more than what is the answer, Marta?

Marta: Nine.

Dewey Finn: No, it's eight.

Marta: ...No, it's nine.

Dewey Finn: ...Yes, I was testing you... it's nine. And that's a magic number.

Marco: Two rules, man: Stay away from my fuckin' percocets and do you have any fucking percocets, man?

Evgeni: We should sign his dick. Everyone sign his dick!

Doug Glatt: What's happening here?

Oleg: What's the matter? You have a little puss-puss? Mommy whipped up a pussy pot pie, huh?

Evgeni: Let's see what's going on over there.

Oleg: Show us your dick.

Doug Glatt: I don't want you to see my dick.

Oleg: Why you being gay?

Marco: I think you're fuckin', being... pretty gay.

Oleg: It's not gay.

Evgeni: Not if you're brothers.

Marco: If you're brothers it's gay with a fuckin' dash of something else.

Doug Glatt: My brother's gay and he doesn't even do that.

Marco: I've been playing hockey my whole life, I never fuckin' signed no ones dick man.

John Stevenson: I'll sign your dick Doug.

Travis: Wyatt, could you maybe talk to Marco about him always doing my face? You remember in the "What?" video I established the

[makes face]

Travis: face? Well ever since then, every time you see Marco, he's doing the

[makes face]

Travis: face and it's MINE. You look at him on TRL: "Hi Carson!

[makes face]

Travis: " You look at him on the Kids' Choice Awards: "This is ours? Thanks!

[makes face]

Travis: " And then right here on the cover of Seventeen Magazine: "Hi little girl, beauty secrets?

[makes face]

Travis: " It's my face... it's MY face!

Marco: Uh, hey Travis, am I uh,

[makes face]

Marco: doin' your face, 'cause

[makes face]

Marco: god forbid I

[makes face]

Marco: do your face 'cause it's

[makes face]

Marco: such a good face!

[Travis jumps Marco]

Wyatt: [Breaks them apart] Eye contact. Hand.

[slaps Marco's hand]

Wyatt: Eye contact. Hand.

[slaps Travis' hand]

Wyatt: Now, when we land, I will talk to the choreographer, and she will get you a new face.

Marco: Awh, too bad his mama couldn't give him a good face!

Marco: Maybe if you showed Dr. Zaius the proper respect, Dr. Zaius would stop showing you the POO!

Travis: Wyatt, could you maybe talk to Marco about him always doing my face? Remember in the "What?" video, I established the

[Makes face]

Travis: face? Well ever since then, every time you see Marco he's doing the

[Makes face]

Travis: face. And it's mine. You look at him on TRL. "Hey, Carson."

[Makes face]

Travis: You look at him on the Kids Choice Awards. "This is ours, thanks!"

[Makes face]

Travis: And then right here on the cover of Seventeen Magazine. "Hey, little girl. Beauty secrets?"

[Makes face]

Travis: It's my face... it's *my* face.

Marco: Oh, hey, Travis. Am I uh,

[Makes face]

Marco: doing you face,

[Makes face]

Marco: cuz, God forbid, I

[Makes face]

Marco: do your face cuz it's

[Makes face]

Marco: such a god face.

[Does it three more times]

Travis: That's it.

[They get into a fight]

Les: DuJour means friendship!

Wyatt: Thank you, Les! Now listen. Listen to me. When we land, I will call the choreographer, and she will give you a new face.

Marco: Aw, too bad your Mama couldn't give you a good face.

Wyatt: TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW!

Marco: I'm sorry, Travis.

Wyatt: Thank you. You can have a new face, too.

Kevin: Okay, So here's the Plan... We take them inside, get their hand stamped and they can't get out. Like Shawshank Redemption.

Marco: I love it!

Marco: She's hot, but she thinks she's like the most talented person in the school.

Victor Tavares: So maybe she is.

[last lines]

Marco: So, uh, wha, wha, what do you really do, huh?

Alanna: I'm an actress.

Marco: All right. Jesus.

Alanna: Where are you from, Mexico or something?

Marco: Uh... well, I'm spanish and uh... I'm from Madrid.

Alanna: Is... what part of Mexico is that in?

Marco: Oh no, it's... it's in Spain.

Alanna: I know, but isn't that in Mexico?

Marco: No, it's in Spain. It's a country? In Europe?

Alanna: Oh! Okay, like, by England.

Marco: Ye... ye... yeah, kind of. Yes.

[long pause]

Alanna: What, um... what language do they speak there?

Marco: [surprised by her dumbness] Spanish.

Alanna: I know, but isn't that what they speak in, um... in uh... Mexico?

Marco: Yes, but the language... uh, the language originated in Spain.

Alanna: Are you sure?

Marco: [frustrated] Yes, I am uh... positive.

Marco: First, you're a girl who's laying in bed next to me. And then you're an escort who's laying in bed next to me. *Now you're an escort who fuck-ed her uncle who she thought was her cousin is laying in bed next to me. This is too fuck-ed* for me.

Jimmie: Just give me the damn symbolic vaginas.

Marco: You are sick!

[after Jimmie is rejected by his ex-girlfriend Stacey]

Jimmie: She's engaged.

Marco: Engaged, or married? Because if she's only engaged...

Marco: [to Jimmie] Your birthday is soon, right? Like next week?

Jimmie: No, it's not next week.

Marco: Thank God.

Jimmie: It's tomorrow.

Marco: [imitating Muhammad Ali while playing with a remote-controlled toy robot] C'mon, gorilla, we in Manila! C'mon, gorilla, this is the Thrilla!

[Before Jimmie asks his ex-girlfriend Buckley to marry him]

Marco: OK, crunch time. Seventh game of the World Series. Bottom of the ninth. Two outs. Full count. It's our last chance. There's no tomorrow. Got it?

Jimmie: Four cliches ago.

Jimmie: [playing pool with Marco] Stripes wins, I propose.

Marco: And solids?

Jimmie: I don't know. Fake choking on a piece of steak.

Marco: But I've never killed anyone before!

Sir Jeremy Burtom: Well, you''ll have to fucking learn.

Meistrich: It's really not that hard.

Marco: [Arthur and Maurice explain that the First Mate has planted bombs aboard the ship, but Marco doesn't understand] He's a gardener?

Arthur: What?

Marco: Well, how many bulbs did he plant?

Marco: [trying to shoot a gun] It's just- I hate these things!

Reggie: Marco... good news! The cops found the car and your girlfriend... the BITCH is in JAIL!

Javier: Are you going to visit her in Jail, Marco?

Marco: Fuck off!

JJ: Maybe you can get laid again

Lance: Make sure you get a woman's jail.

Bobby: Why? He could get laid in a men's jail too right?

Reggie: Where's Sean? I'm going to kill that Irish fuck

Mohammed: How did they find the car?

Reggie: Oh this is a good one... She a degenerate gambler drove the car to Vegas... guess what... THE BITCH WON! Ever come to my meetings on time asshole1

Sean: I got a note from my doctor

Reggie: Removed MOTH from right ear! You had a bug living in your head?

Sean: It crawled in there... what's I supposed to do?

Reggie: Go sit next to Marco... He's my NEW genius. Okay, we have to pick up the pace.You guys should be doing a lot better... You're letting too many customers walk. I want to hear some of their excuses. Try and STUMP me... I HAVE AN ANSWER FOR EVERYTHING. COME ON!

Javier: "I'm just looking"

Reggie: I'm just selling. Can't really look at a car unless you drive it. NEXT.

Ali: "I think I can get a better deal somewhere else"

Reggie: Sir, we all pay the same for cars, nobody can give you a better deal for the cars. COME inside and I'LL SHOW YOU.

Bobby: "This is the first place I've been to"

Reggie: Then You're lucky you came to the best place first!

JJ: "I have to see what kind of Interest rate my credit union can give me"

Reggie: We have a book that lists all the credit unions. I can tell you what your rate and payments will be. COME ON GIVE ME A TOUGH ONE!

Sean: "I have to check with my wife"

Reggie: What's the phone number, we'll call her right now.

Bobby: "I have to look a couple other cars first"

Reggie: Why? Consumer Reports, Car and Driver, Triple AAA... they've looked all the cars for you and they say THIS ONE'S THE BEST!

Col. Milt: [gesturing towards a pile of books] You read them all?

Marco: Yeah, they also make great insulation against an enemy attack! But the, uh, truth of the matter is that I'm just interested, you know, in, uh, Principles of Modern Banking and, History of Piracy.

[picking up books]

Marco: Paintings of Orozco. Modern French Theater. The... Jurisprudential Factor of Mafia Administration. Diseases of Horses and novels of Joyce Cary and... Ethnic Choices of the Arabs. Things like that.

Marco: Intelligence officer. Stupidity officer is more like it. Pentagon wants to open a Stupidity Division, they know who they can get to lead it.

Marco: It's not that Raymond Shaw is hard to like. He's IMPOSSIBLE to like!

Marco: I could never figure out what that phrase meant, "more or less."

Marco: [During the Kung Fu fight with Chunjin] What was Raymond doing with his hands?

Marco: [During the Kung Fu fight with Chunjin] How did the old ladies turn into Russians?

Marco: [during the Kung Fu fight with Chunjin] What were you doing there?

Sen. John Yerkes Iselin: No evasions, Mister Secretary, no evasions if you please.

Secretary of Defense: Evasions? What the hell are you talking about?

Secretary of Defense: [whispering to Marco] What the hell is this nonsense?

Marco: [covering the microphones] Mister Secretary, I'm kind of new at this job, but I don't think it's good public relations to speak that way to a US Senator, even if he is an idiot.

Sen. John Yerkes Iselin: I am United States Senator John Yerkes Iselin, and I have here a list of two hundred seven persons who are known by the Secretary of Defense as being members of the Communist Party!

Secretary of Defense: [amid shocked reaction from the crowd] What?

Sen. John Yerkes Iselin: Who nevertheless are still shaping the policy of the Defense Department!

Secretary of Defense: Senator who?

Sen. John Yerkes Iselin: I demand an answer, Mister Secretary! There will be no covering up, sir! No covering up!

Secretary of Defense: How did you get in here in the first place?

Marco: You've been through some changes since I saw you. Now you wanna wipe all that out. You could, if you wanted to.

Marco: Van Gogh. Top member of the Bipolar Club. You see this?

Nurse Amy: Yes, it's beautiful!

Marco: You know why?

Nurse Amy: Why?

Marco: Because it's the painting of the sky he saw from his sanitarium window when he was manic.

Nurse Amy: Really?

Marco: Yeah. You don't believe me, go look it up.

Nurse Amy: I believe you.

Marco: Well, when you go out tonight, and you look at the sky and you see how dull it is, think about if you would've medicated Van Gogh!

Marco: [on phone] Hello, 911? I'm being held here unlawfully at a police station at...

[Officer hangs his phone up]

Officer Fred: That was your one call.

Marco: But I didn't call outside the station, so it doesn't count.

Officer Fred: [reciprocates] Hmm.

Marco: [to Dr. Strinsky] I'm not sick. I can understand why you'd be here; you look very sick to me. There's no life in your face. You look like you're about to tip over. And if you ask me, you know, you don't need, uh... electric shock therapy. You need some jumper cables attached to a Mack truck to latch to your face to light up those dull eyes of yours.

Old Lady: You can't play with these things!

Marco: I just want to get rid of this fear that overwhelms me!

Old Lady: Do you think it will be easy to get rid of this burden?

Marco: I think it's unwise to use movies as a guide for reality. Don't you, Inspector?

Inspector Alan Santini: Depends what you mean by reality.

Rachel: Maybe we can flag someone down

Ken: First we've got to do something about this stiff

Rachel: But it's not our fault

Ken: Rach We're foreigners in a strange country, think about it we don't even know who the fuck he is? They HANG people for shit like this right

Marco: He's right

Ken: Let's take him back to shore, that's where he came from that's where he fucking well stays

Ken: Just looking for fuel for the fire

Marco: [on the inscription] Forever! Is that how long your gonna make her wait?

Marco: [On Silka] How old do you think she is?

Ken: Old enough

Marco: It took me a while but I finally figured it out

[points to his head]

Marco: It's all in here

[last lines]

Marco: it's all in here

Marco: [Asking his parents about the house they're moving into] Are we going to live here forever?

Marco: Why doesn't my real daddy ever come back to see me?

Dora Baldini: Look, Marco, you're old enough now to understand, I think. You know your father was a man who liked to travel a great deal. He loved airplanes, ships, sailboats - and he loved to visit faraway places.

Dora Baldini: [continues] Well, one day he went on one of his voyages and never came back... Your daddy is dead, Marco.

Marco: What is death, mama?

Dora Baldini: Death is like going on a trip, darling, only one doesn't come back. One goes away forever. But we'll keep daddy alive within us.

Marco: But why did he die, mama?

Dora Baldini: Why? Oh, baby, it's hard to explain. Death is part of life and we must learn to accept it. You'll understand someday.

Marco: Hey, Henry.

Henry: Marco. I wondered when you'd show up. Like a bad penny.

Marco: Yes. I heard your car was bombed. But I thought it was you telling your usual stories, but now...

Henry: And I heard that you've been secretly writing articles for the fascists.

Marco: Yes

Henry: It's dangerous when you cross the lines, Marco.

Henry: You get yourself shot.

Marco: If you write what they want, you never get shot.

Marco: Do you think masturbation is a sin?

Dominique: Depends on where the other hand is.

Marco: I wish MY dad would come and watch ME play.

Kingston: I wish my dad would let me in the house.

Marco: Did you cum?

Kingston: Well, sort of. But only a little bit.

Donna: Come on, talk to your Auntie Donna.

Marco: Dear Auntie Donna, my boyfriend just shagged some tart he doesn't even care about, and now that tart, slash so-called friend, thinks I should have a sense of humor about it. Should I take out a contract or break her legs myself.

Marco: [last lines, after being told to find peace] Marco: Peace? Where can you find it? Our country's been turned into a battlefield! There's no safety for old people and children. Women can't keep their families safe in their houses; they can't be safe in their own fields! Churches, schools, hospitals are targets! It's not war; war is between soldiers! It's murder! Murder of innocent people! There's no sense to it. The world can stop it! Where's the conscience of the world?

[last lines]

Marco: Where is the conscience of the world?

Marco: Your father and I wanted the same thing...

Norma: And you killed him!