Man Stoner Quotes in Up in Smoke (1978)

Pedro: Man, what is in this shit, man?

Man Stoner: Mostly Maui Waui man, but it's got some Labrador in it.

Pedro: What's Labrador?

Man Stoner: It's dog shit.

Pedro: What?

Man Stoner: Yeah, my dog ate my stash, man.

Pedro: Yeah?

Man Stoner: I had it on the table and the little motherfucker ate it, man. Then I had to follow him around with a little baggie for three days, man, before I got it back. Really blew the dog's mind, ya know?

Pedro: You mean we're smokin' dog shit, man?

Man Stoner: Gets ya high, don't it?

[Song, "Rockin' Robin" plays... ]

Man Stoner: I think it's even better than before, you know?

Pedro: Uhhh, I wonder what Great Dane tastes like, man.

Pedro: Hey how am I driving, man?

Man Stoner: [looks around] : I think we're parked.

Man Stoner: Hey, hey don't take those, man.

Pedro: ...Wha?

Man Stoner: I almost gave you the wrong shit, man.

Pedro: Hey, man, I already took 'em, man.

Man Stoner: [laughing in astonishment] Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo...

Pedro: Hey, whaddaya mean "ho ho ho ho ho"?

Man Stoner: Oh... HU-WOW, MAN!

Pedro: Hey, what was in that shit, man?

Man Stoner: You just ate the most acid I've ever seen anybody eat in my life!

Pedro: Hey, man, I never had no acid before, man.

Man Stoner: Jeez, I hope you're not busy for about a month...

Pedro: Hey I've seen those guys walking around my neighborhood that took too much acid, man. The one guy, his head's swelled up like a pumpkin...

Man Stoner: [referring to the acid Pedro took] No, that's good acid, man.

Pedro: Another time, there was this guy...

Man Stoner: [on police radio] Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, can you hear me?

Clyde - Narc: Hello, headquarters? Hello, headquarters? Come in, headquarters. This is Officer Clive... we are...

Sgt. Stedenko: Use the codename! The codename!

Clyde - Narc: Headquarters, headquarters come in, please. The is Codename Hardhead.

Sgt. Stedenko: Hat! Hardhat! Give me that! Hello, radio dispatch? This is Codename Hardhat, Codename Hardhat, do you read me? Over.

Man Stoner: Was that Lardass?

Sgt. Stedenko: Hardhat! Codename Hardhat! Do you read, radio dispatch?

Man Stoner: Hey, I got somethin' for ya, Lardass!

Sgt. Stedenko: Hardhat! Hard... Hat! Do you understand?

Pedro: Lardass, Lardass!

Sgt. Stedenko: Hardhat! Radio dispatch, do you know who this is?

Pedro: Naw, who is this is?

Sgt. Stedenko: This is Sergeant Stedenko!

Pedro: Oh yeah, you know who this is?

Sgt. Stedenko: No!

Pedro: Bye-bye, Lardass!

Man Stoner: [Cheech starts toking on the giant joint] Toke, toke it up, man!

Man Stoner: [Cheech starts choking] Kinda grabs ya' by the boo-boo, don't it?

Pedro: I been smoking since I was born, man, I can smoke anything, man. You know like I smoke that Michoacán, and Acapulco Gold, man. I even smoke that tied stick, you know?

Man Stoner: "Tied stick"?

Pedro: Yeah, you know that stuff that's tied to a stick.

Man Stoner: Ohh, THAI stick.

[stoned cop walks up to the van, where Pedro and Man have been trying to switch who's driving]

Cop: What do you guys want?

Pedro: Nothing.

Cop: Hey, do you mind if I have a, bite of your hot dog?

Pedro: Huh? No man, here, take the whole thing.

[the cop takes a huge bite]

Pedro: Want some fritos?

Cop: [through a mouthful of hot dog] no, this is fine! Thank you! Hey, you fellas have a nice day, okay?

Man Stoner: Hey man, what was that dude's trip? I mean what was he on, man?

Pedro: Man, I don't know but I wish we had some of it!

[after picking up Man, Pedro guns his car and takes off down the street]

Man Stoner: Ohhh! Ohhh!

Pedro: Hey, how far you goin' man?

Man Stoner: [points to the curb] Hey, right here would be fine, man!

Pedro: What, you're not afraid of a little speed, are ya man?

Man Stoner: Wha, you got some speed, man?

Pedro: Huh? Speed? Oh, no, I don't got no speed man. But you know what I do got? I got a joint man!

Man Stoner: Oh, wow.

Pedro: [gets it out and hands it to Man] Here, light that thing up man, let's get chinese-eyed.

Man Stoner: [eying the joint] Kinda skinny, isn't it?

Pedro: No, it's a heavy duty joint, man.

Pedro: Kinda looks like a toothpick.

Pedro: Naw, it's not a toothpick, man.

Man Stoner: No, it IS a toothpick, man.

[hands it back to Pedro]

Pedro: [looking at it, puzzled] it IS a toothpick!... wait a minute man, I got the shit right here.

[feels around in his pocket]

Pedro: huh... no, that's my dick.

[feels around some more]

Pedro: , okay, here you go, man.

[hands a skinny, curled up joint to Man]

Man Stoner: [looking at a dinky little joint] Jeez, I hope your dick's bigger than this, man.

Pedro: Hey man, you want to get out and walk, man?

[Man has disguised himself as a woman while hitchhiking]

Man Stoner: Hey, man; I'm glad you picked me up, man. I slept in a ditch last night, man, I was about to freeze my balls off, man.

Pedro de Pacas: Man, I didn't even know you had any, I wouldn't of stopped.

Man Stoner: [to Pedro, who is in the throes of panic] HEY! MELLOW OUT, MAN!

Pedro: Don't worry, man. Those aren't narcs, they're Las Emigras; you know, the Immigration Service looking for illegal aliens.

Man Stoner: What's the Immigration Service doing here, man?

Pedro: My cousin needed a ride to his brother's wedding in Tijuana; so he called the Emigras, man. They'll deport the entire wedding party, man. They get a free bus ride across the border and lunch. When the wedding is over, man, they'll just come back across the border.

Man Stoner: [Discovered, roach on an ashtray] El roacho.

Man Stoner: Man my legs hurt.

Pedro: Yeah I bet!

Man Stoner: Yeah, that 'Nam grass will fuck anyone up, man!

Man Stoner: No, hey man, if we're gonna wear uniforms man, you know let's have everybody wear something different.

Pedro: Yea, that's it. Yea, we want something wear everybody wears something different man, but the same, you know?