Man 1 Quotes in This Means War (2012)

[first lines]

Man 1: [over comms] All eyes are up.

Man 2: Sat cams are good.

Man 1: Target is inbound.

Man 2: ETA five minutes.

Collins: Mission is a go. Repeat, you are green to go. Intercept and apprehend the Heinrich brothers. Secure the device. And remember, this mission is covert.

Daisy: [to hit men] My partner weighs in at about 95 pounds, right? And together you guys weigh are pushin', like, half a ton, give or take, correct? So, did you need much help stuffing her in that garbage can?

Man #1, Man #2, Man #3, Man #4: [blank stares]

Daisy: [sits back, hands behind her head] Now I usually don't talk to people like you in the first place. But if I did that sort of thing, I would say that you girls should have a TV show. And that they should call that program, "The Adventures of Donnie's Bitches". But like I said at the top, I usually don't talk to people like you. Because talking to people like you doesn't make much sense.

Man #1: What do you mean, people like us? What the hell kind of people are we?

Daisy: Dead ones.

Man #1: [laughs] What?

Violet: [starts shooting them from behind] Got some bullets. But now I might be out again.

[Giant Agumon leaps over a passing truck]

Man 1: Whoa! Did you see that?

Man 2: No, I was sleeping.

Man 1: But you're driving!

Didi: Say, can you fellas help us out? We're looking for Mr. Mega's office.

Man #1: Sure thing. It's that way.

Man #2: No, that way.

Man #1: You don't know what you're talking about. I was there yesterday and it's over there.

Man #2: Oh, yeah?

Mark Van Doren: What these books have conclusively proven is that the diffence between men and women is exactly 38 pages.

Man 1: Can I quote you, Mark?

Mark Van Doren: Not before I quote me.

Dorothy Van Doren: His own quotes are his greatest pleasure.

Man 2: Did you hear the market dropped 30 points today. There's a rumor Eisenhower died.

Dorothy Van Doren: How could they tell?

Mark Van Doren: Oh, please. Don't get Dorothy started on politics. There'll be a raid.

Man #1: I did not pull on my ear!

Man #2: You pulled on your ear, when my son...

Man #1: I scratched my ear!

Man #2: Oh! You're a liar!

Man #3: Come on break it up.

[comes to separate the two]

Man #1: [instead grabs Man #3's shirt and slaps him in the face] I don't care!

Everyone Else: [goes chaotic]

Tournament Director: [while working at a table sees this and sighs, and then escorts them to jail cell on floor below]

Little Girl: [Bruce is lying in bed, asleep. Suddenly, he begins to hear thousands of voices in his head, causing him to wake up. Several are loud enough to make out] Please bless my mommy, my daddy, and especially my little sister.

Man #1: Please help me Lord. Please get me through this one.

Woman: I need you Lord. I'm desperate. And you alone, can take control of my future.

Man #2: All I'm asking, Lord, is that you help me.

Little Girl: Thank you for everything else in my life. Amen.

Mrs. Big Nose: [a crowd is listening to Jesus speak] Don't pick your nose!

Mr. Big Nose: I wasn't pickin' my nose! I was scratchin' it!

Mrs. Big Nose: You was pickin' it, while you was talkin' to that lady!

Mr. Big Nose: I wasn't!

Mrs. Big Nose: Leave it alone! Give it a rest!

Stan: Do you mind? I can't 'ear a word he's sayin'!

Mrs. Big Nose: Don't you 'Do you mind' me! I was talkin' to my 'usband!

Stan: Well, go and talk to 'im somewhere else! I can't 'ear a bloody thing!

Mr. Big Nose: Don't you swear at my wife!

Stan: I was only askin' 'er to shut up, so we can 'ear what he's sayin', 'Big Nose'.

Mrs. Big Nose: Don't you call my 'usband 'Big Nose'!

Stan: Well, he 'as got a big nose!

Man #1: [trying to hear Jesus] Would you be quiet, please. What was that?

Stan: I don't know; I was too busy talkin' to 'Big Nose'.

Man #2: I think it was: 'Blessed are the cheese-makers'!

Wife: What's so special about the cheese-makers?

Husband: Well, obviously, it's not meant to be taken literally - it refers to any manufacturer of... dairy products.

Stan: See? If you 'adn't been goin' on, we'd 'ave 'eard that, 'Big Nose'!

Mr. Big Nose: Say that once more - I'll smash your bloody face in!

Stan: Better keep listening; might be a bit about 'Blessed are the Big Noses'.

Brian: Lay off him!

Stan: Oh, you're not so bad yourself, conk-face... Where are you two from? 'Nose City'?

Mr. Big Nose: One more time, mate! I'll take you to the fuckin' cleaners!

Mrs. Big Nose: Language! And don't pick your nose!

[first lines]

Man 1: [voiceover] Quiet on the set.

Woman: [voiceover] OK, everybody, quiet on the set.

Man 2: [voiceover] Scene 1, take 10. Marker.

Man 1: [voiceover] And - action!

Mika: You called a taxi?

Man #1: No, we called a garbage truck. But you'll have to do the job.

Cat: You killed my Father!

Sheriff Cardigan: Oh, that can't be. He's been sitting right there all morning.

Cat: No, I saw him.

Man #1: He hasn't been out that rocker all morning long.

Man #2: It's a fact.

Cat: Why do you say that?

Sheriff Cardigan: Just telling the truth.

Man 1: Rise up and walk, none of your bones are broken.

Man 1: When a man enters his 30th year people will not stop calling him young

[first lines]

Reporter #1: Tonight, investigators are questioning the credibility of those clinical trials.

Woman #1: I'm very angry. I can't believe doctors could betray so many people.

Man #1: I was part of the initial test group for the drug Vypraxilin. And, I can say without a doubt it was probably the worst decision I've ever made in my life.

Man #2: These people knowingly put out inaccurate information and they were being selective in the facts about the case.

Woman #2: She looked at me and then collapsed. Her mouth filled with blood and... it was terrifying.

Reporter #2: In fact, an investigation by the fda found no evidence of false data from Pierson pharmaceuticals.

Reporter #3: This is the third death attributed to the medication, with many more claims surfacing each day.

Woman #3: They need to be held accountable.

[first lines]

Man#1: Don't be afraid.

Man#2: Do you believe in sin?

Woman: [whispering] There's nothing to believe.

Man #1: There must be a frog blocking the pipe.

Man #2: We're stuck, like Ugolin.

Man #3: Impossible! It's flowed for fifty years.

Man #1: Only marks I ever wanna see on a chick are the ones I made myself.

Man #1: For the record, no one sees my bare ass, unless I'm about to fuck 'em. House rule.

Man #2: You know that song by Sammy Hagar, "Your Love is Driving Me Crazy"?

Man #1: I've heard it. About thirty years ago.

Man #2: Well, there's a line in the song that goes, "Hot sweet cherries on the vine." That line drives me crazy. Cherries don't grow on vines. They grow on trees. How could Hagar not know that?

Man #1: Betcha he knows cannibus doesn't grow on vines, I'll tell ya that much.

Man #2: You're terrible.

Man #1: Thank you.

Man #1: I'm so damn thirsty, I'm ready to drink my own piss.

Man #2: I could never be that thirsty.

Man #1: If we're still here an hour from now, you will be.

Man #1: I'm so drowsy right now, I can hardly hold my fifty-pound head up.