Mallory Quotes in The Guns of Navarone (1961)

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Mallory Quotes:

  • Mallory: Can you do anything at all?

    Corporal Miller: I don't know. There's always a way to blow up explosives. The trick is not to be around when they go off. But aren't you forgetting something? The lady. As I see it we have three choices. One we can leave her here but there's no guarantee she won't be found, and in her case they won't need a truth drug. Two, we can take her with us, but that would make things worse than they are already. And three... well, that's Andrea's choice, remember?

    Mallory: You really want your pound of flesh, don't you?

    Corporal Miller: Yes, I do. You see, somehow I just couldn't get to sleep.

    Mallory: Well, if you're so anxious to kill her, go ahead!

    Corporal Miller: I'm not anxious to kill her, I'm not anxious to kill anyone. You see, I'm not a born soldier. I was trapped. You may find me facetious from time to time, but if I didn't make some rather bad jokes I'd go out of my mind. No, I prefer to leave the killing to someone like you, an officer and a gentleman, a leader of men.

    Mallory: If you think I wanted this, any of this, you're out of your mind, I was trapped like you, just like anyone who put on the uniform!

    Corporal Miller: Of *course* you wanted it, you're an officer, aren't you? I never let them make *me* an officer! I don't want the responsibility!

    Mallory: So you've had a free ride, all this time! Someone's *got* to take responsibility if the job's going to get done! You think that's easy?

    Corporal Miller: [shouts] I don't know! I'm not even sure who really is responsible any more.

  • Mallory: You think you've been getting away with it all this time, standing by. Well, son... your bystanding days are over! You're in it now, up to your neck! They told me that you're a genius with explosives. Start proving it!

    [gesturing with his pistol]

    Mallory: You got me in the mood to use this thing, and by God, if you don't think of something, I'll use it on you! I mean it.

  • Mallory: [after the Mallory and his team have overpowered and disarmed the Germans, the Germans are bound and gagged and Mallory's team takes their uniforms. Spiro is about to put the gag on Muesel] Hold it.

    Mallory: We are going to leave Major Franklin behind. He is a wounded officer, I expect him to get proper medical attention.

    Muesel: We don't make war on wounded men. We aren't all like Hauptmann Sessler.

    Mallory: Now where's the camp radio station?

    Muesel: I will not tell you.

    [Mallory points a pistol at Muesel in a hesitant way]

    Muesel: You wouldn't hesitate to kill me for any number of reasons, but not this one. In any event I will not tell you.

    [Muesel is then gagged]

  • Maria Pappadimos: [while she is driving the truck, she is totally unaware of Mallory's and Stavrou's past and how a mistake by Mallory had led to the deaths of Stavrou wife and children and how Stavrou vowed to kill Mallory after the war to avenge his wife's and family's death. Stavrou hates Mallory. Mallory is sitting right between Maria and Stavrou] Sir?

    Mallory: Yes.

    Maria Pappadimos: No, not you, sir. Mr. Stavrou.

    Col. Andrea Stavros: Hmm?

    Maria Pappadimos: Tell me about yourself.

    Col. Andrea Stavros: What do you want to know?

    Maria Pappadimos: Are you married?

    Col. Andrea Stavros: I have been married. My wife and children were killed.

    Maria Pappadimos: Have you killed many people?

    Col. Andrea Stavros: Only Germans. Oh, some Italians too.

    Maria Pappadimos: Captain Mallory?

    Mallory: Yes.

    Maria Pappadimos: You are a lucky man.

    Mallory: Yes, I know.

    Maria Pappadimos: Mr. Stavrou?

    Col. Andrea Stavros: Yes?

    Maria Pappadimos: I like you.

    Col. Andrea Stavros: [Stavrou turns his head in surprise to look at Maria] I like you too.

    [maria turns her head to look at Stavrou and smiles and returns her attention to driving. Mallory gives a sly smile to Stavrou]

  • Corporal Miller: I've inspected this vessel, and I think you ought to know that, ah, I can't swim.

    Mallory: I'll keep it in mind.

  • Mallory: Are you sure it will work?

    Corporal Miller: There's no guarantee, but the theory's perfectly feasible.

  • Mallory: [On Andrea] He's going to kill me when the war's over.

    Major Franklin: You're not serious.

    Mallory: Yes, I am. So is he.

    [pause]

    Mallory: About a year ago, I gave a German patrol a safe passage to get some of their wounded into hospital. I guess I still had some romantic notions about fighting a civilized war. Anyway, they wanted Andrea pretty badly, even back then. As soon as they got behind our lines, they shot their casualties, went over to his house, and blew it up. He was out on a job at the time, but his wife and three children were in the house. They were all killed. I helped him to bury them. And then he turned to me and said that as far as he was concerned, it wasn't the Germans who were responsible, but me. Me and my stupid Anglo-Saxon decency. Then he told me what he was going to do, and when.

    Major Franklin: You think he still means to do it?

    Mallory: He's from Crete. Those people don't make idle threats.

  • Mallory: The only way to win a war is to be as nasty as the enemy.

  • [Hearing someone coming, Andrea draws a revolver and aims it at the door. Mallory enters]

    Mallory: Surprised?

    Col. Andrea Stavros: I did not think I would see you again so soon.

    Mallory: Did you think you'd have to come looking for me?

    Col. Andrea Stavros: When the time came, I would find you.

  • Maj. Schroeder: Ah, tell me what has all this to do with that, uh, suitcase case you keep looking at?

    Mallory: Well, that suitcase is full of our penicillin.

    Maj. Schroeder: Oh, indeed. Perhaps I could see some it?

    Mallory: Certainly, Major. Open it Miller.

    Miller: You can't do that here, sir. You'll ruin the lot. You know perfectly well that any contamination will destroy it. It's got to be opened under laboratory conditions.

  • Mallory: Next time, you can play the corpse. You seem pretty handy with that thing, though.

    Barnsby: Could've been luck.

  • Barnsby: Sorry about Marko.

    Lescovar: Thank you. It's a risk we all take. He was a brave man and a good friend. Then he got careless.

    Mallory: You think that big sergeant spotted him as a partisan?

    Barnsby: I can't buy that. The sergeant wasn't that bright.

    [to Lescovar]

    Barnsby: He saluted you - you're wearing a corporal's uniform. That doesn't rate a salute in the German army.

    Mallory: Not in anybody's army. Why do you think he saluted you, Lescovar?

    Lescovar: Perhaps he recognized my natural superiority.

    Mallory: Yes, perhaps.

  • [last lines]

    Barnsby: What happened to you?

    Weaver: He bit me in all the excitement. But damn it to hell, we did it, Colonel! We did it!

    Barnsby: Yes we did, Sergeant! Yes we did!

    Miller: And a merry Christmas!

    Mallory: Yes, gentlemen, we did it!

    [chuckling]

    Mallory: But before we can start awarding ourselves Victoria Crosses and Congressional Medals of Honor and so on and so forth and such like... I think I'd better point out that one, we're now on the wrong side of the river. That two, we have no hope whatsoever of rejoining the partisans. That three, this neck of the woods will soon be crawling with very bad-tempered Germans. And that four, I don't think our little genius Sergeant Miller there has even got a box of matches left in his suitcase. And so I think we can take it, gentlemen, that we're going to have a very long walk home.

  • Mallory: [thoughtfully] Miller, what would happen to the bridge if that central arch were suddenly hit by several million tons of water?

    MillerBarnsby: Water?

    Mallory: I think we've been talking about the wrong target. Remember that dam we passed by on the way up here?

    Miller: [suddenly all ears] Dam? What sort of dam?

    Barnsby: It's just up the road, about half a mile that way.

    Miller: Well, my dear chap, why didn't you say so before? Oh, I could do a tremendous job on the dam! See, with the dam, you've got your natural elements working for you. It's like having an enormous bath - what have you got to do? Pull the plug!

  • Mallory: I don't suppose they taught you German at that awful school of yours?

    Miller: What, instead of Latin? Heaven forbid, old boy.

  • Mallory: You're Nikolai... You're the man who blew us in Greece.

  • Mallory: [after an unexpected delay in Miller's explosives]

    [notices the dam hasn't collapsed yet]

    Mallory: Miller! That useless git!

    Barnsby: [shocked] It didnt...

    Mallory: What?

    Barnsby: [yelling] It didn't work!

    Mallory: Yes I know it didn't work!

    Barnsby: Well let's get out of here!

    Mallory: Yeah let's get out of here, when I see Miller I'm going to ring his useless neck!

  • Mallory: [inside the Partisans' cave Mallory wants to talk to Petrovitch alone to tell him he needs to kill Nikolai] May I talk to you personally, sir?

    Maj. Petrovitch: You are talking to me personally.

    Mallory: No I mean alone.

    Maj. Petrovitch: No. The People's army does not conduct military business in secret.

  • Mallory: [after being caught, Mallory attempts to get free by making a story] You ever hear of penicillin?

    Maj. Schroeder: No.

    Mallory: No, well, I'm not surprised. It's a new developement It's a drug that prevents wounds from becoming infected.

  • Samson: There's a reason Romeo killed himself, okay? Suicide was the best option for this guy.

    Mallory: Why?

    Scott: What?

    Lyle: No, no. Romeo set the standard for love.

    Samson: No, Shakespeare didn't know anything about love. The guy was a sexual deviant, okay? He couldn't keep his hands off himself. That's why his name was Shakespeare

    Narrator: It's true. Hardy, Dickens, Longfellow, all sex starved pen names.

    Samson: E. Cummings

    Scott: Updike

    Mallory: Margaret *Atewood*

    Samson: Dean *Cunts*

    Lyle: [Correcting their pronunciation] Atwood and Koontz.

    Scott: Balzac.

  • Mallory: Wherever we go, whatever happens, Mickey, when I look up at the stars, I'll know you'll be lookin' up at the same ones.

    Mickey: Same ones, baby.

    Mallory: You make everyday feel like kindergarten.

  • Mickey: The whole world's comin' to an end, Mal!

    Mallory: I see angels, Mickey. They're comin' down for us from heaven. And I see you ridin' a big red horse, and you're driving them horses, whippin' 'em, and the're spitting and frothing all 'long the mouth, and the're coming right at us. And I see the future, and there's no death, 'cause you and I, we're angels...

    Mickey: I love you, Mal.

    Mallory: I know you do baby, and I've loved you since the day we met.

  • Mickey: Mal...

    Mallory: Yes?

    Mickey: Will you marry me?

    Mallory: Of course I'll marry you! I've been waiting for you to say that for so long. But where are we gonna get married?

    Mickey: Right here, Mal. This is our church.

  • [bleeding together over a river]

    Mallory: We'll be living in all the oceans now.

  • Mickey: Let me tell you something, this is the 1990's, alright? In this day and age a man has to have choices, a man has to have a little bit of variety.

    Mallory: What are you talking about, "variety"? Hostages? You wanna fuck some other women now? Is that what you're talking about, Mickey?

  • Wayne Gale: Wait! Don't Mickey and Mallory always leave one person alive to tell the tale?

    Mallory: We are...

    MalloryMickey: Your camera!

  • Mallory: I do. For all eternity. 'Til you and I die, and die, and die again. 'Til death do us part.

  • [the cops have Mickey and Mallory pinned down]

    Mallory: You know what I say? I say... to hell with going back to our cells. Let's go out there, and run down the stairs, and go out in a hail of bullets. And then we'll die! And then we'll really be free.

    Mickey: That's poetry. But we'll do that when all else fails.

  • Wayne Gale: So tell me Mickey? Any regrets? I mean, three weeks, fifty people killed... not too cool Mickey.

    Mickey: Fifty-two, but I don't a lot of time with regret. That's a wasted emotion.

    Wayne Gale: Seriously you must have some regret. Rack your brain.

    Mickey: Well, I wish that Indian hadn't got killed.

    Mallory: [archive footage of the Indian's death] Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad!

    Wayne Gale: [looks at some files] One of your last victims.

    Mickey: Man had a rattlesnake in the corner...

  • Mallory: I don't think I'm gonna make it. I feel so cold.

    Mickey: You're gonna make it, Mal. Get mad.

  • [after beating the hell out of the guy at the diner]

    Mallory: How sexy am I now, huh? Flirty boy! How sexy am I now?

  • [after shooting a man she'd been having sex with]

    Mallory: That the worst fuckin' head I ever got in my life! Next time don't be so fuckin' eager!

  • Mallory: You killed life!

  • Mallory: You made my shitlist!

  • Mallory: I do. 'Til you and I die, and die, and die again. 'Til death do us part.

  • Mickey: Turn left? Turn left to what, you stupid bitch?

    Mallory: You stupid bitch? You stupid bitch? You stupid bitch? Mickey, that's what my father used to call me! I thought you'd be a little more creative than that!

  • Mallory: [singing] I guess I was born... naturally born... born bad.

  • [aiming Jack's gun at his head]

    Mallory: You still like me now, Jack?

    [she pulls the trigger]

  • Mallory: What do you want me to do?

    Jack Scagnetti: I want you to kiss me and squeeze my nipple.

    Mallory: You're so specific.

  • Mallory: I'm not really as bad as they say I am. I'm actually a really nice person.

    Jack Scagnetti: Yeah I know. I did some pretty bad things myself. I killed someone.

  • Syd: When that first wave of anxiety hits it's fucking terrifying because you're like fuck, "maybe I'm really going crazy. Maybe I've finally done enough drugs and fucked with my head enough that I've just detached from reality." You know? You know... you start having these horrible revelations.

    Mallory: Like what?

    Syd: Like I started freaking out about death. You know... I became obsessed with it. I just couldn't conceptualize not being here. Just not being here someday. One day, Mallory, you and I are gonna be dead. Buried. Gone. And you start thinking about religion. And how people are just blindly swallowing these concepts like God, and heaven, and afterlife... just to suppress our deepest most fears... which is that we don't know why we're here. Why are we here? It makes no sense!

    Mallory: It totally makes sense! Okay. Because the same time as us people, the masses, to go on living their every day lives without constantly obsessing over these things you're talking about, man. You know... these realities: life, death; heaven, hell; existence; why we're here. You know... who knows... it's possible that a god does exist. You know... an energy, force, spirit... whatever you wanna call it.

    Syd: Right. Sure.

    Mallory: I believe that.

    Syd: Fine. Fair enough. So what do you think happens when you die?

    Mallory: I don't fucking know! You fucking die. Why does there have to be an answer to every fucking question? Why can't there just be mysteries in the world? You know what I'm saying? I don't know... your body dies! Your actual physical being dies! But your spirit, I do believe, lives on. It lives on in the world. Man, it's a continuing thing of... of existence, dude. It doesn't have to have a fucking perfect answer. Why?

    Syd: Alright, fine. I buy that a little bit more than an invisible guy in the sky taking checks and balances on 6 billion people. I think that sounds like Santa Claus to me. You know.

    Mallory: Yeah, yeah.

    Syd: It's like a fairy tale for adults who can't handle death.

  • Mallory: I'm nobody's little girl! It's too late for that shit.

  • Mallory: You think it's all her fault?

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: What?

    Mallory: Your daughter in the car crash.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: [pauses] She told you about that?

    Mallory: Yeah. Is that like a secret or something?

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Give me my lighter back.

    Mallory: Because it would really suck shit if you blamed her for that.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: I don't blame her. What are you talking about?

    Mallory: She was being a good mom.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Who said she wasn't?

    Mallory: So you don't think it's all her fault then?

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: No. I don't know, we don't talk about it. Give me my lighter back!

    Mallory: [throws lighter] You should talk about it.

  • Mallory: Don't be mad at me. I don't like being told what to do. I can't help it. And I'll lay off the curse words. I will I promise, okay?

    [yells]

    Mallory: Goddamn it Doug! Please don't be mad at me!

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: I'm not mad at you.

    Mallory: You're acting like you're mad at me.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: No I'm not acting like I'm mad at you. Sit down. Take it easy. Come here.

    [pulls Mallory a seat closer]

    Mallory: Just don't be mad at me.

  • Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Try to stay out of trouble.

    Mallory: Yeah. I quit smoking!

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Really? Good for you. Me too!

    Mallory: Really? Well, maybe there is some hope for us.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Maybe so. Maybe so. You never know.

    Mallory: You never know.

  • Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: How much do you owe?

    Mallory: Um, eleven hundred for the tickets and I guess whatever thirty-five times seven is.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Two hundred and forty-five dollars.

    Mallory: What is that altogether?

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Well, eleven hundred dollars plus two hundred and forty-five dollars is thirteen hundred and forty-five dollars.

    Mallory: [surprised] Fuck me.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: You have a terrible vocabulary.

    Mallory: Fuck you.

  • Mallory: You have any kids?

    Lois Riley: We had a daughter. She died in a car accident.

    Mallory: My mom died in a car accident. I was in the car accident as well.

    Lois Riley: How old were you?

    Mallory: Four or five. I don't, I don't remember it. Which is good. It would be kind of fucked up to remember that. What was your daughter's name?

    Lois Riley: Emily. Emily Eugenia Riley.

    Mallory: How old was she?

    Lois Riley: [fighting tears] Fifteen.

    Mallory: That sucks.

    Lois Riley: Yes. It does.

  • Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: How old are you?

    Mallory: How old do I look?

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Fifteen.

    Mallory: You can't be fifteen and work in any strip club I've heard of.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: How old are you?

    Mallory: Twenty-two.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: You don't look twenty-two.

    Mallory: That's what it says on my ID.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Well, I could buy a drivers license that says I'm twenty-two. That doesn't make me twenty-two. So, is Mallory your real name?

    Mallory: [panicking] Fuck me, you're a fucking cop?

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: No.

    Mallory: Oh, you're not a cop? Then come here and show me your cock!

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Stop it! Stop that!

    Mallory: Prove you're not a cop!

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: I'm not a cop!

    Mallory: Take this back.

    [throws money at Doug]

    Mallory: That's about as close to my pussy as you're gonna get. Fuck nuts!

  • Mallory: Hey, sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up.

    Lois Riley: That's alright. It's been a long day.

    Mallory: Where's Doug?

    Lois Riley: He'll be back in a little while.

    Mallory: Okay.

    Lois Riley: Are you hungry?

    Mallory: Yeah. I got off early tonight. Business sucks.

    [hesitant]

    Mallory: You wanna go around the corner and get a po'boy?

    Lois Riley: What's a po'boy?

    Mallory: It's like a sandwich.

    Lois Riley: Oh. Alright.

  • Lois Riley: Allison, I don't think you should do this anymore.

    Mallory: Do what?

    Lois Riley: You know what I'm talking about.

    Mallory: You don't work you don't eat.

    Lois Riley: Wait! I can't let you do this.

    Mallory: Lois don't.

    Lois Riley: What?

    Mallory: Don't be stupid.

    Lois Riley: I apologize for being so unsophisticated but I cannot let a 16-year old girl prostitute herself!

    Mallory: I'm a fucking dancer.

    Lois Riley: And a prostitute!

    Mallory: [yelling] Well you're not my fucking mom! So get the fuck out of my way!

  • Mallory: Hey you know me and Doug, we don't fool around or anything like that. I'm just saying I mean nothing like that.

    Lois Riley: I believe you.

    Mallory: Because, I mean, he's completely old school. It's crazy.

    Lois Riley: I believe you.

  • Lois Riley: [helping Mallory out of the shower] You have a pair of clean white cotton undies?

    Mallory: No.

    Lois Riley: Well, you don't need to wear any. We'll just put you in a clean nightgown.

    Mallory: [crying] I don't have a nightgown.

    Lois Riley: You can borrow one of mine.

  • Lois Riley: I went after her. I didn't tell that part about how Emily died.

    Mallory: Tell me what?

    Lois Riley: I was awake that night. Doug was at his poker game, I always stay up until he gets home. I heard something, went to the window, and saw Emily get into her boyfriend's car. So I put on some clothes and got into my car and went looking for them.

    Mallory: Did you find them?

    Lois Riley: [nods] Parked in a shopping center not far from our house.

    Mallory: I'm sure they were really happy to see you.

    Lois Riley: He took off. I tried to catch up but I couldn't. He was driving so fast. Lost them for a little while and then.

    Mallory: [interrupts] They crashed the car?

    Lois Riley: Ran a stop sign and hit a truck broadside. By the time I got there everything was on fire. Couldn't get to them. Wouldn't have happened if I hadn't gone after her.

    Mallory: Hey, it's not your fault. That's not your fault. Just like my mom getting in a car accident is not my fault.

  • Mallory: What's your problem?

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: I guess I'm just not used to being around young women who talk about their private parts.

    Mallory: [laughs] Like hello! Like I have private parts.

  • Mallory: I really, really like older guys. They get me really wet.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Sweetheart, just sit still.

    [pushes Mallory off him]

    Mallory: You don't wanna have any fun?

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: How about we just talk?

    Mallory: You want me to talk dirty so you can get yourself off?

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Jesus Christ, no. No, okay?

    Mallory: Well, alright. You don't have to get mad at me. It's fine.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: I'm not mad at you. Just persistent that's all.

    Mallory: Just trying to keep the customers happy.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: I'm happy.

    Mallory: You don't look very happy.

  • Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: First of all, put your money in the right order. Twenties, tens, fives, ones.

    Mallory: Okay, chill out.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Show your money some respect.

    Mallory: Oh, I respect money. Oh fuck, God someone open a can of tuna fish?

    [laughs]

    Mallory: And I bet your balls smell just like apple fritters, right?

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Wouldn't know. I don't keep my money in my underpants.

    Mallory: Well, you would if you did what I do. I know girls that keep their money inside their cooters. I guess it's just safekeeping.

  • Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: [answers phone] Hello?

    Mallory: Hey.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Where are you?

    Mallory: Uh, Houston. But I'm cutting out and heading to Vegas.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Are you okay?

    Mallory: Yeah, I'm fine. Don't sweat it.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Well I do sweat it. I can't help it. It's been two weeks.

    Mallory: Yeah I know. I was gonna call, I just.

    [pauses]

    Mallory: Thanks for the cash that you left me. And the bag too. It's really getting a lot of use.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: You're welcome. We're here, you know, anytime.

    Mallory: Will you tell Lois I'm sorry?

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: For what?

    Mallory: Well, you know. Just about getting all up in her face like that.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Alright, I will.

    Mallory: And don't be mad at me?

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: I'm not mad at you. Not at all. I miss you. If that means anything to you.

    Mallory: I miss you too. So Lois isn't gonna mind if I call you every once in a while, right?

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: No, no absolutely not. And Lois wouldn't mind hearing from you either, you know, if you ever need female advice or whatever. She thinks you're smart. Too smart to be doing what you're doing.

    Mallory: Okay.

  • Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: I got a business proposition for you.

    Mallory: Oh? Well, I told you that I don't do porn tapes. And I'm not gonna fuck your German Shepherd. I'm not going to Tokyo to turn tricks.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Can I just talk for a minute?

    Mallory: Yes, but the answer's no.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: I'll give you $100 a day to stay at your place.

    Mallory: [shocked] What?

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: $100 a day if I can stay at your place. I don't like hotels.

    Mallory: No pussy?

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: No.

    Mallory: And I don't do anal either. Just so you know.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: [laughing] Thank God there's something you don't do.

    Mallory: Um, so $100 a day and you just live at my house?

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Yep.

    Mallory: So you'll be my sugar daddy?

    [Doug shrugs]

    Mallory: You know what that is?

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Kind of.

    Mallory: [laughs] You'll buy me cool things?

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: I'll buy you a broom and a dustpan.

  • Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: How come you haven't paid your electric bill?

    Mallory: I have. My landlord keeps locking the fuse box. It's supposed to be included in the rent, but he's like this freak who wants me to suck him off while he videotapes it. He's a regular at the club. It's this whole scam he's got going. He only rents the place to strippers. But I told him, like, "I'm not gonna do your blow job videos and I'm not leaving because I got my rights." And he tries to scare me with the for sale sign shit. Like people are dying to buy this shithole.

  • Mallory: Don't fucking touch me!

    Lois Riley: Alright, listen to me. Please listen.

    Mallory: [yelling] I don't have to listen to you! You're not my fucking mom!

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: [enters the room] Hey.

    Lois Riley: Doug, nevermind.

    Mallory: I don't listen to people. This is my fucking house! Just get the fuck out!

    Lois Riley: [stops Mallory] No. You don't know what you're doing to yourself, sweetheart!

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Lois, don't.

    Mallory: Oh yeah, I don't know what I'm talking about? And I know more about what I do than you will ever know. How many cocks you swallowed?

    [is slapped by Lois]

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Hey! No! Alright!

    [holds Mallory back]

    Mallory: Fuck!

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: She didn't mean it.

    Mallory: Fuck you! Okay, just stop touching me.

    [yells]

    Mallory: Just stop fucking touching me!

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: She didn't mean it!

    [lets Mallory go]

    Mallory: Get the fuck off me!

    Lois Riley: Please, I'm sorry! Allison.

    [Doug chases after Mallory]

    Lois Riley: Let her go, Doug!

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: I just want to talk to her. Mallory!

    Lois Riley: Doug, let her go.

  • Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: [answers phone] Hello?

    Mallory: Doug, I just got ripped off.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: What?

    Mallory: All my fucking money is gone and I'm gonna fucking kill this guy!

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Alright, calm down. Where are you?

    Mallory: I'm at the Aloha Motel. You don't know where it is.

  • Lois Riley: Your mother must have been very pretty.

    Mallory: Yeah. She had bigger tits than me. I got my dad's tits. I don't know what happened.

    Lois Riley: [laughing] I got my dad's too!

  • Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: You alright?

    Mallory: Yeah I just can't stand on the street without the cops coming by me like I'm a fucking crack whore.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: What happened?

    Mallory: I came here with this guy and he kept trying to stick it in my fucking ass and I was like yo, pencil dick back the fuck up and he wouldn't! I went to piss and I came back out and my wallet's sitting on the bed and all my shit is everywhere and his car's gone and all I've got is fucking shoes and like, I'm out 900 bucks!

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: 900 dollars? Why in the hell would you carry that much money around with you?

    Mallory: Where else am I gonna keep it?

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: I don't know, in the bank?

    Mallory: What? I don't have a fucking bank account!

    [looks at a guy in the hotel]

    Mallory: And this fucking asshole won't give me the guy's address because he's friends with him! I'm gonna fucking kill him!

    [throws shoes]

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: [holding Mallory back] Hey! What are you gonna do with his address?

    Mallory: I'm gonna go get my money back!

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: No you're not. You're either going to call the police or you're going to drop it.

    Mallory: [yelling] I can't call the police, Doug! Don't be so fucking stupid just help me!

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Oh I'm stupid? You bring 900 dollars to a place like this and I'm stupid? You come here with assholes from that club. That's stupid!

    Mallory: [running away] Okay I'm really fucking stupid!

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Where are you going?

    Mallory: I'm gonna go turn some tricks and make my money back!

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: No, no you're not. Come on we're going home!

    [yells]

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Then go ahead! Go ahead then, Goddamn it!

    Mallory: [stops and starts crying] Okay. I mean, fucking, everything. Always I'm like, my whole life.

    [cries harder]

    Mallory: Forever. I mean forever.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: I know.

    [comforting her]

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: I know. You're gonna be okay.

  • Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: [approaches Mallory] Excuse me. I'm not a cop. I'm from Indianapolis, Indiana and I run a wholesale plumbing supply business. I'm here for a convention.

    [hands her a business card]

    Mallory: Okay, I'm sorry about that. I just got cops on the brain, you know? I can't help it. They've been snooping around the club and they towed my car for unpaid parking tickets.

  • Mallory: How you doin' tonight?

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: I'm okay. How about you?

    Mallory: Oh I'm real good. You want a private lap dance in the VIP room?

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Oh no, not right now. Thank you.

    Mallory: Not right now? I'm gonna be off work soon. Come on it's right upstairs. It's only $250. You get a bottle of champagne and me for an hour.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: I don't drink champagne.

    Mallory: I do.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Thank you, but.

    Mallory: [interrupts] Come on. An hour. Just you and me.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: [sees co-workers] Shit!

    Mallory: You know those guys? You want the room?

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Alright.

  • Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: I'm not here for the fun part.

    Mallory: Oh. Well, hand jobs are $50 and I can do oral but it's $100 and you'd need a rubber.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: No, thank you.

    Mallory: I get $60 out of the $250 you gave the guy at the bar. You're not gonna tip me nothing?

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Here, this make it worth your while?

    [hands her $100]

    Mallory: Wow! Thanks, Doug.

  • Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Where are you from?

    Mallory: Why?

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Just making conversation.

    Mallory: I'm from Florida.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Where in Florida?

    Mallory: Panhandle.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: And you work in a strip club?

    Mallory: Better than working peep shows in Atlanta. Guys jerking off staring at your cooter like it was singing the Star Spangled fucking Banner.

    [pauses]

    Mallory: Hey, you think. I mean now that I know you're not a cop. You think I could have that $100 back? You said you just wanted to talk, right? And we've been talking. And I could do something else for the money too, if you want.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: You can have your money back. Put it away.

    Mallory: Thanks, thank you.

  • Mallory: It's just a ways down this street.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: [shocked] This is your neighborhood?

    Mallory: Yep. It's this whitish one right here.

    [pauses]

    Mallory: Hey, do you mind coming in with me for a second? Just to make sure it's chill? My electricity's off.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Alright.

    Mallory: [pulls "for sale" sign off porch] Mother fuck!

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Shouldn't keep your key in your mailbox.

    Mallory: I'd just lose it if I didn't.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: [enters dark house] Jesus, you weren't kidding.

    Mallory: I know. Place gets really fucking creepy.

  • Mallory: [to Lois] Bet you were a good mom.

  • Mallory: I'm really not some kind of fucking idiot who, like, doesn't know how to make a bed.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: I didn't mean to imply that.

    Mallory: Well then maybe you shouldn't say shit like that and think that I should know shit that I haven't figured out yet.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Okay. Okay, I'm sorry. Alright?

    Mallory: [nods] Yeah, okay.

  • Mallory: How come you don't wanna fuck me?

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: I prefer women my own age.

    Mallory: Why?

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: They know what they're doing.

    Mallory: I'm pretty good.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Sure you are.

    Mallory: I think I give some pretty good head.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: I'm sure you do.

    Mallory: Let me show you.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: No, no. Lie down.

    Mallory: It is so weird. Being with a guy who don't wanna get it on.

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: Yeah, well, it's pretty weird being with you too.

    Mallory: You don't like me?

    Douglas Lloyd 'Doug' Riley: I do. I like you a lot.

    [rubs his fingers through Mallory's hair]

    Mallory: I like you too.

Browse more character quotes from The Guns of Navarone (1961)

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