Major League Umpire Quotes in Little Big League (1994)

Billy Heywood: [after Scales was called out at first base during a home game against the Rangers] What?

Mickey Scales: Come on, blue! He didn't touch me, blue! That's brutal, my momma could make that call blue, come on!

Billy Heywood: [to the first-base umpire, after the first-base coach gets Scales out of the way] He missed the tag! He missed the tag!

Major League Umpire: and what are you, Bob Uecker?

Billy Heywood: That was a lousy call, you were out of position.

Major League Umpire: I saqw what I saw, so go sit down.

Billy Heywood: No, I'm not gonna sit down, because you're a big dork.

Major League Umpire: Oh yeah? Well, you're a little squirt with a big mouth, so why don't you get outta my face before I get mad?

Billy Heywood: Come on, get mad! Pop a vein, you ugly, big

[prolonged air horn sound, while Palmeiro's eyes get big]

Billy Heywood: ... blind, seeing-eye dog.

Major League Umpire: You're outta here, Heywood!

Billy Heywood: [while kicking dirt on the umpire] Yeah, that's right. Throw me out you big, fat

[prolonged air horn]

Billy Heywood: ... and you're blind as a bat!

Major League Umpire: Get outta here!

Billy Heywood: Fine! Ever heard of Certs?