Major Benson Winifred Payne Quotes in Major Payne (1995)
Major Benson Winifred Payne Quotes:
Major Benson Winifred Payne: [on the rained-out obstacle course] Move it, you turds! You'll get no sympathy from me! You want sympathy, look in the dictionary between shit and syphilis! You there! Tell Marlee Matlin's son to get across that rope before I hang him with it!
Major Benson Winifred Payne: [Payne has just been informed that the USMC has run out of battles for him to fight, AND has passed him over for promotion to Lieutenant Colonel] General, are you telling me that nowhere in the military is there any longer a job for trained human weapons of destruction such as myself?
Gen. Decker: Most blood is now shed in the halls of Congress, Payne. Guys like us are becoming dinosaurs.
Major Benson Winifred Payne: General, surely there must be SOMEBODY left who needs some killing, or some killing done for them.
Gen. Decker: Sorry, Major. There's nobody left. You've killed them all.
Emily: [as Payne is hazing the cadets by making them run around the Madison campus in drag] Major, WHAT are the boys doing in those DRESSES?
Major Benson Winifred Payne: Oh, they're just puttin' on a fashion show.
Emily: Do you really think THIS is the best way to gain the respect and admiration of these young men?
Major Benson Winifred Payne: They may not like me, but they WILL respect me.
Emily: Let me be more direct: they HATE you.
Major Benson Winifred Payne: Good. It'll draw 'em close together, make 'em a team.
Emily: That's a very cynical plan!
Major Benson Winifred Payne: Yeah, well at least it won't backfire. Besides, they started it.
Cadet Alex Stone: What about family and unity and all that other bullshit you said?
Major Benson Winifred Payne: I never said family don't break up. Don't you watch Oprah?
Major Benson Winifred Payne: Be advised, ladies, we are going to WIN the Virginia Military Games this year! You will note my emphasis on the word WIN: Whisky! India! November! GET USED TO THE SOUND OF THAT WORD!
[and later, as he's introducing the cadets to their new, off-campus quarters]
Major Benson Winifred Payne: A squad that lives together, wins together! UNITY, turds: that is the key word in UNIT, without the "Y!"
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