Maitre D Quotes in Batman Begins (2005)

Maitre D: Sir, the pool is for decoration, and your friends do not have swimwear.

Bruce Wayne: Well, they're European.

Maitre D: I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

[Bruce starts to write a check]

Maitre D: It is not a question of money.

Bruce Wayne: [gives him the check] Well, you see, I'm buying this hotel, and uh, setting some new rules about the pool area.

Maître d': [in French accent] Name, please?

Peter Parker: Parker, Peter.

Maître d': [looks through reservation book] Ahh, there we are... table for two, Pecker...

Peter Parker: Parker...

Maître d': [in French accent] That is what I said, Pecker!

Maître d': I love romance. I am French.

[seating Claus and Alan]

Maitre D': Professor Dershowitz, Dr. von Bulow.

[he leaves]

Claus von Bülow: When I was married to Sunny, we never got this table. Now, two injections of insulin and I'm a doctor.

Maitre D': [grabs Ferris on the shoulder while he grabs the phone in the restaurant] All right, I've had enough of this.

Ferris: [Ferris is annoyed] You touch me, I yell RAT!

Maitre D': I weep for the future.

Maitre D': You're Abe Froman?

Ferris: That's right, I'm Abe Froman.

Maitre D': The Sausage King of Chicago?

Ferris: [caught off-guard] ... Uh yeah, that's me.

Maitre D': Look, I'm very busy. Why don't you take the kids and go back to the clubhouse?

Ferris: Are you suggesting that I'm not who I say I am?

Maitre D': I'm suggesting that you leave before I have to get snooty.

Ferris: Snooty?

Maitre D': Snotty.

Ferris: Snotty?

Maitre D': Smoking or non-smoking?

Stu: Non-smoking.

Mrs. Doubtfire: Smoking!

Maitre d': And finally, a wafer thin mint.

Maitre d': Good evening sir and how are we today?

Mr. Creosote: Better.

Maitre d': Better?

Mr. Creosote: Better get a bucket. I'm gonna throw up.

Maitre d': Et maintenant, would monsieur care for an aperitif, or would he prefer to order straightaway? Today, we have for appetizers - excuse me - uh, moules marinières, pâte de foie gras, beluga caviar, eggs Benedictine, tarte de poireaux - that's leek tart - frogs legs amandine or oeufs de caille Richard Shepherd - C'est à dire, little quails' eggs on a bed of pureed mushrooms. It's very delicate, very succulent.

Mr. Creosote: I'll have the lot.

Maitre d': [breaking fourth wall] I am so sorry, I didn't realise we had a racist working here!

Maitre d': Bon, and the usual brown ales?

Mr. Creosote: Yeah. No wait a minute... I think I can only manage six crates today.

Maitre D': [from trailer] Whats wrong with him?

Elizabeth Masterson: It's a tension pneumothorax

David Abbott: I think it's a tension nemothax, sir.

Elizabeth Masterson: Pneumothorax.

David Abbott: Nuemathax, sir!

Elizabeth Masterson: Pneumothorax!

David Abbott: Numathurman.

Elizabeth Masterson: Never mind

David Abbott: Never mind!

[Marie is crying quietly while looking up at the ceiling]

Maitre D': Marie, what are you doing?

Marie: Has that ceiling ever made you want to cry?

Maitre D': What? Ceiling? Get back to work.

Athanael: What are they supposed to be doing?

Maitre d': I wouldn't know, sir; they call it dancing.

Athanael: I must tell St. Vitus about this.

Maitre D': Et voilà! Chasse à la Magdalene, avec petite oignons, marron sautés, pomme de terre au petite poivre, champignons sautés.

[Smiles conspicuously]

Maitre D': I hope it is to your liking, gentlemen!

Trinità: So what's so funny, huh?

Maitre D': [Trinity and Bambino, in brand-new suits, bluff their way into an exclusive restaurant] I'm sorry, gentlemen, you have to be members.

Trinità: [stands up straight] What do you think WE are?

Maitre D': [he is brandishing a raw chicken which Andre has stolen from the kitchens, skewered with an umbrella and tried to roast in the fireplace] I'm afraid I'm going to have add an order of "Chicken à la Umbrella" to your bill.

Maitre D': [at a fancy restaurant, Thibault throws bones from his plate to Andre, who is eating from the floor] Excuse me, but the gentleman can't eat off the floor.

Count Thibault: He's not a gentleman! He is my servant

[throws another bone]

Count Thibault: and he is not worthy of our company.

Alan Swann: Who is that gorgeous-looking creature over there?

Maitre d': Oh, no, Mr. Swann. This is exactly the way it started last time.

Alan Swann: In that case, we'll just order dinner... for now.

Clarissa Standish: [Steve Fisk has two dozen roses delivered to Clarissa's breakfast table, an ice-carved blue duck and a hangover special. She is flustered] I'll have two dozen poached eggs and a cup of coffee, please.

Waiter: Uh, did you say two...

Clarissa Standish: Yes, I have the same breakfast every morning.

Maitre d': You mean...

Clarissa Standish: Yes, I mean exactly what I say, and please hurry. I'm hungry.

Maître d': We often color the potatoes to match the colors of the wedding.

Donna: Oh, yeah?

Maître d': But with rainbow, you can go with anything. Might I suggest a pale blue?

Michael: Wait a minute, wait a minute - did you say blue mashed potatoes?

Maître d': Yes.

Michael: No, we're not having blue mashed potatoes at this wedding.

Donna: What kind of blue?

Maître d': Sort of a sky blue.

Michael: Get out of here! I'm not eating blue food.

Maitre d': I'm sorry, ma'am, but if you're trying to accustom yourself to eating indoors, using silverware and plates, then you're going to have to learn to wear shoes.

Maître d: But, Miss: ladies without escorts are not admitted to the Rose Room.

Marcia Brooks: Who said I was a lady?

Maitre d': I'll get you a waiter right away.

Gracie Allen: Make it two. I'm starved.