Mahoney Quotes in Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985)

Lt. Mauser: Any day now, Mahoney, and your little ass is mine.

Mahoney: You wanted to see me, sir?

Lt. Mauser: Mahoney, didn't your mother teach you how to knock?

Mahoney: It depends. Sir? I hope this isn't going to be too personal? I heard what you said about my little butt and I don't know how to break this to you, sir, but I'm straight.

Lt. Mauser: Mahoney, what kind of clown do you think I am?

Mahoney: A juggling clown?

Mahoney: Never fool with a fuzz ball.

[after seeing his cat pooped in the cereal]

Sgt. Vinnie: Oh I'm sorry, would you like some?

Mahoney: [shocked] I'm on a diet.

[Sargent Vinnie picks up a chocolate bar out of a rubbish bin]

Sgt. Vinnie: Look at that. A half eaten Nestle Crunch bar. It's hardly been touched.

Mahoney: Vinnie, you're not gonna eat that are you?

Sgt. Vinnie: Why, you wanna split it?

[Mahoney wears a microphone while infiltrating Zed's gang]

Mahoney: So what is this place? It smells like animals.

Sgt. Vinnie: They took him to my place?

Mahoney: You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to a court appointed attorney. You have the right to sing the blues. You have the right to cable TV... that's very important. You have the right to sublet. You have the right to paint the walls... no loud colors.

Sgt. Vinnie: Hey, would it be OK if I eat real quick?

Mahoney: Yeah, go ahead, go ahead.

Sgt. Vinnie: Aw, thanks. Y'know, next to lunch and dinner, breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

Sgt. Eugene Tackleberry: You want to become one with the gun. Feel the gun, caress the gun until it's a living, breathing, vibrating extension of yourself.

Mahoney: I look for the same in a woman.

Cmndt. Eric Lassard: What is the most frustrating thing about police work?

Tackleberry: Not being able to carry hand grenades, sir.

Lt. Debbie Callahan: Separate locker rooms, sir.

Mahoney: Icky blue uniforms.

[Mahoney talking to Captain Harris, who just ripped his pants trying to get over a fence]

Mahoney: Did anyone tell you what a great tailor you have, Sir?

Proctor: I mentioned that, just last week.