Mahmoud Quotes in Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005)
Chadsworth Buckingham, III: [asking gigolos about their night] So... Assapopolis, got any She-Johns lined up for Tonight?
Assapopoulos Mariolis: I got the herpes. What're you gonna do, heh.
Chadsworth Buckingham, III: [chuckles Sarcastically, then rips off band-aid] Liar! Mahmoud, What's your excuse?
Mahmoud: Uh, I just realized... I'm gay. Does anyone... want a blow job?
[all the other Manwhores make a Sourly disgusted Face]
Dutch Gigolo: I do.
Mahmoud: Ok then. I guess I'd better go... put that penis in my mouth.
Wealthy Woman in Car: [pulls up in a car] Hey guys! I need a quick gigolo fix. What do you say?
Enzo Giarraputo: [aware that a manwhore killer is on the loose] Ahh. I'm judging a sand castle building competition this afternoon so... I can't help you.
Mahmoud: [the woman pulls out a Wad of Cash] Ahh... The dog ate my... penis.
[the woman drives off]
Gaspar Voorsboch: [pointing a Sword at Deuce] You die with the rest of them, Gigolo! Those Gigalos... robbed Me of My Manhood, I was never able to satisfy a Woman, and I shall see to it that they don't either!
[Starts sword fighting with Deuce]
Deuce Bigalow: You don't have to kill anybody, Gaspar, cause You can please a Woman! These Gigalos... don't know what they're talking about!
Chadsworth Buckingham, III: [Watching from the TV outside the Building] Is He talking about us?
Deuce Bigalow: Do You really think that all a Woman wants; is for someone to give Her a mud pretzel, Turkish snow cone, or an Irish facial?
Chadsworth Buckingham, III: Yes they do, liar!
[All the Women nod in disagreement]
Deuce Bigalow: All a Woman really wants; is someone who cares about Her, asks Her about or day, or how She's feeling... or or at least pretends to.
Chadsworth Buckingham, III: [All the Women agree with Deuce] What?
Gaspar Voorsboch: ...or when She's sad...
[Gaspar lunges his sword at Deuce, but misses]
Gaspar Voorsboch: ... cry with Her! Face it, these Gigalos are just ripping Women off!
Chadsworth Buckingham, III: Hey, I'll let You know that I've had absolutely no complaints from any of those freaks!
Lily: [Slaps His Face] I faked it!
Deuce Bigalow: Women don't care if You drive a fancy car, wear a Rolex watch, or have a gigantic schlong like... Heinz Hummer.
Mahmoud: This Guy knows his shit!
Chadsworth Buckingham, III: [All the Gigalos pull out objects that make it look like they have bulges] What are You all doing?... anybody else? *Lil' Kim pulls out a Tootsie roll*
Deuce Bigalow: Let a Woman You know You really care about Her, and maybe She'll give You an Irish facial.
Gaspar Voorsboch: [Knocks the sword out of Deuces hand, pulls out the remote detonator] We die together, Deuce!
Deuce Bigalow: Please sir, You don't have to do this!
Gaspar Voorsboch: They ruined My Life!
Deuce Bigalow: Just give Me the detonator...
Gaspar Voorsboch: No, My penis exploded!
Deuce Bigalow: O.k... that's a tough one, I'll give You that, but having a penis... is overrated, trust Me.
Mahmoud: Abe, I know that life has been unfair to you because it has given you every possible advantage, so your feelings of inadequacy are endless and unrelenting.
Mahmoud: Poor thing. You really don't get it, do you?
Abe: Get what?
Mahmoud: Everyone has a receipt, and it never adds up.
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