Mack Quotes in Ghost Rider (2007)

[before the big Touchdown Jump, Johnny Blaze and Randall "Mack" Mackenzie stand at the top of the acceleration ramp, overlooking the 300 ft jump]

Mack: Thank God you listened to me, took the cars out. It would've been suicide otherwise This way if you come up short, see, you'll come down on some nice, soft, green... grass?

[Mack looks up at the sound of the stadium dome being opened. Six Blackhawk helicopters slowly descend towards the field]

X Games Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, Johnny Blaze will not be jumping 50 cars today as scheduled; but instead, he will be leaping six UH-60 Black Hawk helicopters. Never before has any man attempted such a death-defying stunt.

[Mack turns and glares at Johnny]

Johnny Blaze: [shrugs] I took the cars out.

Mack: [as the helicopters land on the field] Why? Why JB? Why wouldn't you tell me?

Johnny Blaze: Well, because you would have thrown a fit.

Mack: Call me old-fashioned, I'm funny that way. Human sacrifice makes me uncomfortable. Why, JB? Why helicopters, man?

Barton Blaze: [a flashback to Barton discussing a new idea for a jump with young Johnny] You know what I've been thinking about? A new stunt. But instead of the cars or the ring of fire, a helicopter.

Johnny Blaze: My dad thought it'd be cool.

Mack: [Mack pauses, and glances down towards the helicopters again, before turning back with a sigh] He was right.

Johnny Blaze: How much NOS did you put in the tank?

Mack: Enough to shame the Space Shuttle.

Mack: [about Johnny's arrest] Yeah, well, if this gets out in the press, his career is over.

Roxanne Simpson: Yeah, trust me, his career's the least of it.

Mack: You know, you seem like a nice lady, and you're purty and all but we were riding the gravy train on biscuit wheels around here, and then you showed up, everything went to hell. So why don't you just go back to wherever it is you came from?

Roxanne Simpson: I can't go back. Not now.

Mack: Then tell me what the hell's goin' on!

Roxanne Simpson: You wouldn't believe me if I told you. Look, you don't know me, but I love him. So if there's anything you know that can help, anything...

Mack: Okay, well, lately he's been readin' these really weird books, and they're messin' with his mind, you know. And he's writin' stuff down, and he's stayin' up late. And he does it over here. You can go through his stuff, and I don't know if it means anything.

Johnny Blaze: [Blaze's crew looks at him incredulously after watching footage of his crash] What?

Mack: "What". You should be taking a dirt nap after that ragdoll today.

Johnny Blaze: I got lucky.

Mack: No, I got a huntin dog named Lucky. He's got one eye and no nuts. Luck don't cover it, JB. Man, you got an angel looking after you.

Johnny Blaze: Yeah maybe.

[after Mack walks away, looks out the window; to himself]

Johnny Blaze: Maybe it's something else.

[Jill and Marcie are looking under the hood of their car. Mack is gazing at their breasts]

Marcie: Does it look bad?

Mack: Not from where I'm standing.

Jill: Oh, can you fix it then?

Mack: Honey, I've got a tool that'll fix anything.

Mack: [Mack just got back into town] What's the bad news?

Nellie the Bartender: Your truck is wanted in seven counties.

Mack: Oh, these best friend greetings, they get longer every year.

Mack: Those two are perfect for each other.

Mack: [after having watched three Pixar films and noticing that each one contains John Ratzenberger] Hey... they're just using the same actor over and over. What kind of cut-rate production is this?

[a scene from "Toy Car Story"]

Woody Car: YOU ARE A TOY - CAR!

Buzz Lightyear Car: You are a sad, strange little wagon. You have my pity. Farewell!

[races away]

Woody Car: Oh, yeah? Well, good riddance, you loony!

[Different Scene]

Hamm Truck: Gee, I hate to break up the Road Rally guys, but, THEY'RE HERE! Birthday Guests at 3 o'clock.

Mack: [Chuckles] Whoever does the voice of that Little Piggy Truck, I must tell ya, he's one great actor.

[a scene from "Monster Trucks Inc."]

Mike Car: We're banished, genius! Stuck out here in this wasteland without chains!

Sullivan Truck: But, Mike, the Boomobile's in trouble! She needs our help!

Mike Car: You're still not listening!

[Both turn around and Gasp]

Abominable Snowplow: Welcome to the Himalayas! Snow cone?

Mack: Oh, that Abominable Snowplow is quite the comic thespian!

Snotrod: Ah...

Boost: Oh, no. Snot Rod!

Snotrod: Aaah...

Wingo: He's gonna blow!

Snotrod: AH-CHOO!

Mack: [startled awake] Oh! Gesundheit!

Mack: What? Did I forget to wipe my mud flaps?

Lightning McQueen: Mack, thanks for being my pit crew today.

Mack: Ah, don't worry about it, kid. It's the least I could do. After all, gas can is my middle name.

Lightning McQueen: It is?

Mack: Eh, not really.

[a scene from "A Bug's Life"]

Voice: Just get in there. Go, go, go, go, go.

Flik Car: Circus Cars? How can you be Circus Cars?

[a Car Version of P.T. Flea shows up]

P.T. Flea Car: These are the Lousiest Circus Cars in the world, and they're *gonna make me rich*.

Mack: Wait a Minute here. They're just using the Same Actor over and over. What kind of a Cut Rate Production is this?

[the cars are watching Monster Trucks, Inc. at the drive-in]

Mike Car: We're banished, genius! Stuck out here in this wasteland without chains!

Sullivan Truck: But Mike, the Boomobile is in trouble. She needs our help!

Mike Car: You're still not listening!

[gasps]

Mike Car: [Sulley turns around and gasps]

Abominable Snowplow: Welcome to the Himalayas! Snow cone?

Mack: [Chuckles] That Abominable Snowplow is quite the comic thespian.

Mack: So... what goes on at Julie's?

Clark: Nothing.

Mack: Come on Clark, you can tell me.

Clark: Well, we watch stuff, grab ass.

Linus Larrabee: David, where's Sabrina? You didn't go with her?

David Larrabee: Well obviously not, Linus, I mean, here I am, right? She's probably having her beverage service right about now.

Mrs. Ingrid Tyson: Who's Sabrina?

Patrick Tyson: The chauffeur's daughter!

Linus Larrabee: Don't call her that!

[David looks at him in amusement]

Elizabeth Tyson, MD: She was after David for a while, then apparently she switched to Linus. She seems to have decided that HE was the one with the power.

Linus Larrabee: [outraged, pointing to David] Is THAT what he told you?

Elizabeth Tyson, MD: He told me everything, Linus.

Linus Larrabee: [to David] And you didn't see her before she left? You didn't talk to her?

David Larrabee: Oh, sure, I said goodbye, and I think I wished her luck. Maybe not. I told her I felt kind of funny accepting my brother's hand-me-downs

[Maude covers her mouth to keep from smiling]

David Larrabee: , and I said don't take it personally, and you've always been generous to your women in the past, and I was sure she'd be more than compensated for... whatever!

[Linus punches him]

David Larrabee: See! I told you! He loves her!

Mrs. Ingrid Tyson: Who?

Patrick Tyson: Sabrina!

David Larrabee: [touching his mouth] Is he packed?

Mack: Yes.

Linus Larrabee: Is who packed?

Mack: You are. Just one bag.

Linus Larrabee: [flustered] Wait a minute, you - you packed my clothes? You went to my apartment?

Maude Larrabee: I took her!

Mack: We were up to our elbows in your underwear drawer; it was like touching the Shroud of Turin.

David Larrabee: Here, sign this. It's your authorization for the completion of the merger. AND this - it gives me the raise I deserve for the new position I'm assuming. There's a car waiting for you downstairs, a helicopter at East 60th... the plane ticket's been changed to the Concorde. It leaves in exactly 39 minutes. If you make it, you just might beat her there.

[Linus turns away in thought]

Elizabeth Tyson, MD: Go, Linus! Don't think!

Linus Larrabee: [hesitantly] She... she must absolutely hate me!

Maude Larrabee: She'll get over it. We all do... Linus, you know I love you. No mother could be prouder. But I think it's time that you ran away from home.

David Larrabee: But sign these first.

[Linus signs the forms and clasps David's shoulder]

Linus Larrabee: If you'll excuse me... it appears I have a previous engagement.

[leaves]

Linus Larrabee: And I want tickets to whatever Broadway show nobody can get tickets to.

[Mack looks inquisitively at him]

Linus Larrabee: I know, I seldom go to the theatre.

Mack: Seldom?

Linus Larrabee: So, I'm not a theatre buff.

Mack: Buff? The most difficult tickets to get will be for a Broadway musical.

Linus Larrabee: [distractedly] Okay.

Mack: That means that the performers will periodically dance about and burst into song.

Mack: Hazel! Hazel! I just came from the hospital. Doc's got a broke arm. You know somethin' about it, don't ya?

Hazel: You gonna be mad at me, Mack?

Mack: Naw, Hazel. I promise.

Hazel: I didn't have no choice, Mack. Suzy said she wouldn't go see him unless he got sick or had a broke arm. I tried, but I couldn't figure out how to get him sick. There was no other way! You sure you ain't mad, Mack?

Mack: Hell, no! 'course, we don't know how she'll all work out, but it's a step in the right direction.

Hazel: Mack, I can't do it. Fauna's gotta get somebody else for President of the United States. I tried, I practiced - but I just ain't got the poop! I'll mess up the whole country!

Mack: Hazel, ya sweet little bastard! We'll get ya off, don't you worry! You done noble stuff. Wasn't nobody with the guts, but you. You just sit there and take it easy. You got the ball to the one-yard-line. Ol' Mack's gonna carry it in, for ya!

Fauna: The stars say that you are gonna be - oh... that you are gonna be President of the United States!

Mack: I don't believe it.

Hazel: I don't wanna be no President!

Fauna: You got no choice; the stars have spoke. You'll just have to go to Washington.

Hazel: But I don't want to! I don't know nobody there!

Fauna: I'm sorry, Hazel.

Hazel: Ain't there any way I can tell 'em I won't do it?

Fauna: No.

Hazel: [sobbing] A thing like this could ruin my whole life!

Mack: Doc, I got something important to talk to you about.

Doc: How much do you need Mack?

Mack: Two bucks.

Doc: [handing over some money] There. Take it out of that.

Mack: Just like that? What about my story?

Doc: What story?

Mack: Well, I had this story about why I needed two bucks, but you didn't give me a chance to do it.

Doc: You don't need a story Mack.

Mack: Well the hell I don't. I mean, you know I worked all night on the damn thing. Now Hazel cried when I tried it on him. You see, I got this aunt is Salinas. She lost both husbands in the flood...

Doc: I didn't know you had an aunt is Salinas, Mack.

Mack: [angrily] I don't have an aunt in Salinas, for Chrissakes. That's the goddamned story.

[Lt. Terri and Sgt. Cally go over the case file of the missing babies]

Lt. Terri: [Terri sighs] Poor guy. This is gettin' out of hand Sean.

Sgt. Cally: Yep. It seems like a serial to me. A detective's dream. The motiveless murder.

Lt. Terri: What've we got now? Two moms, a baby-sitter and all their kids are gone.

Sgt. Cally: From the same playground.

Mack: [the retired officer Mack mumbles in the room as he watches Carter] And this Dr. Nix.

Sgt. Cally: [the two detectives lower their heads] What do you mean?

[the retired officer Mack tells the detectives about Carter's father Dr. Nix]

Mack: Well, maybe you can tell me who this Dr. Nix is.

Sgt. Cally: [Cally points to the next room] It's that guy over there working with Peters.

Mack: Yeah, any dope can see that. But I worked another Nix case twenty years ago.

Lt. Terri: Twenty years ago. What are you talking about?

Mack: I'm talking about that guy's old man.

Sgt. Cally: Are you sure?

Mack: Same name, same face.

Sgt. Cally: So what did your Dr. Nix do?

Mack: We got an anonymous tip he was buying babies. I remember we caught him with five.

Sgt. Cally: Five? Was he starting a basketball team?

[the retired officer tells the detectives about Dr. Nix and his colleague Dr. Waldheim]

Mack: At his trial, an associate testified against him. A Dr. Lyn Waldheim. Still works around here. I just called Waldheim's office. They tell me the doctor checked into the hospital.

Sgt. Cally: What's the matter with him?

Mack: It's a her. Cancer. I told her about the kids disappearing and one of their fathers was a Dr. Nix. She says she'll be right over.

Sgt. Cally: [Cally looks over to Terri] So this is retirement. I think I'll just have a heart attack right here.

Mack: [Mack smiles] I could never retire, so I don't.

[while Mack waits for his car to be serviced at a local gas station, he and tow truck driver Simon sit in the parking lot discussing his family and the Grand Canyon]

Simon: [chuckles] Man, get yourself to the Grand Canyon.

Mack: Beautiful, huh?

Simon: Eh, it's pretty, all right, but that's not the thing of it. You can sit right on the edge of it, you know? I-I did that. I did everything: I went down in it, I stayed overnight there. But the thing that got me was sitting on the edge of that big old thing. Those rocks. Yeah, those cliffs and rocks is so old. Took so long for that thing to get to look like that... and it ain't done either, you know? It happens right while you're sitting there watching it. It's happening right now while we're sitting here in this ugly town.

[Simon finishes his soda and throws the can into the dumpster across the parking lot]

Simon: [sighs] When you sit on the edge of that thing, you just realize what a joke we people are. What big heads we got thinking that what we do is gonna matter all that much. Thinking our time here means diddly to those rocks. It's a split second we been here, the whole lot of us. And one of us? That's a piece of time too small to give a name.

Mack: You trying to cheer me up?

Simon: Yeah, those rocks are laughing at me, I could tell. Me and my worries, it's real humorous to that Grand Canyon. Hey, you know what I felt like? I felt like a gnat that lands on the ass of a cow that's chewing its cud next to the road that you ride by on at 70 miles an hour.

Mack: [laughs] Small.

[last lines]

[as Mack and Simon and their wives and families look at the Grand Canyon]

Simon: So what do you think?

Mack: I think it's not all bad.

[first lines]

Davis: You know what your problem is? You're always talking about X. But you're thinking about Y. You gotta learn to talk about Y. Forget about X. X is gonna take care of itself.

Mack: What are you talking about?

Davis: I'm just asking you to hear yourself. Listen to what you're really saying and under what you really saying: control, control, control. When are you gonna realise nothing can be controlled? We live in chaos. It's the central issue in everyone's life. Mack, look around you. Everyone in this parking lot is struggling for control. And you know what it is they're trying to control, each and every one of 'em? Fear. They're trying to control their fear.

Dee: You've denied me in every way you can. Everything I've wanted, you've denied me.

Mack: I've been honest all along. Even that night.

Dee: Who gives a shit? Don't you see what you do? Even now, you wanna deny me what's rightfully mine.

Mack: Which is?

Dee: To resent the hell outta you. To feel totally rejected and hated. To hate you for doing it to me. There are good men out there who are gonna treat me like I'm the very thing they want. And then you do that thing with Jane.

Mack: What?

Dee: You know, with that guy, that tow-truck guy.

Mack: What about it? What's that got to do with anything?

Dee: You don't even know, do you? You don't even know why that hurts me so much. Jane's in love. She thinks this could be the one.

Mack: Is that bad? I thought she was your friend.

Dee: She is my friend. I'm very happy for her, but it makes me feel like shit... that you're out there finding her the love of her life and I'm here like what? I'm here like shit. How do you think that's gonna make me feel?

Mack: Dee, I understand you're angry with me, but why would...?

Dee: Forget it. It doesn't have to make sense.

Mack: This is difficult stuff. Making a left turn in L.A. is one of the harder things you'll learn in life.

Mack: He's kinda lonely, but he seems peaceful about it.

Jane: That would be nice.

Dee: Ya know, it would be great if you could sort of be down about things, but still be alright with it. Like, finally accept that fact that you're gonna feel bad most of the time and not fight it.

Mack: Of course, it would also be nice not to feel bad most of the time.

Dee: Yeah, but that's how you get yourself in trouble. By thinking how nice it'd be to be happy more.

Mack: When a person thinks they're about to die, nothing looks like it was worth their time.

Mack: [singing Warren Zevon's song] Send lawyers, guns and money... Fuck. The shit has hit the fan.

Mack: I'm getting a headache.

Claire: No, you're not.

Mack: I'm not?

Claire: No and I'll tell you why I reject your headache Mac, because it's inappropriate. If I am right and these events are truly miracles, then it's an innapropriate response to get a headache in the presence of a miracle.

Mack: One morning, about three years ago, I was on my way to a meeting at the Mutual Benefit building on Wilshire, in the Miracle Mile. I love that name - the Miracle Mile. It's the building across the street from the county art museum, I was thinking about the meeting I was going to, I was worried about it, actually, I started to step off the curb, A stranger grabbed me and yanked me back as a city bus went flying by my nose, I mean, it just fiilled up the world six inches from my nose, I would have been like a wet bug stain on the bus, I wouldn't have even felt it, it would have been over so fast, I thanked this stranger, this woman in a baseball cap, but I was pretty much in a daze, When I thanked her, she said ''My pleasure,'' I didn't notice till the last moment that the cap was from the Pittsburgh Pirates, my favourite team since I was a kid. I never got over the idea that I should have thanked that woman more, talked to her a while, something. She reached out and yanked me back from the edge, literally. Changed everything for me, and for my wife and my son, and then she just wandered off down the Miracle Mile. How come she was wearing a Pirates cap? I just wondered, later on, was she for real, you know? Was that a real person or was that something else, you know, sent from somewhere else, to grab me back from that curb? I didn't wanna just let you Simon drift away like she did and never talk to you. It just didn't seem right to let it happen twice. So that's why I'm bothering you.

Simon: This neighborhood is gone to shit.

Mack: This country is gone to shit.

Mack: Vanessa, why is it that when someone's successful in one field, they think they know about everything?

Mack: [when he sees the gang coming on his direction] Mayday, Mayday, we're going down!

Mack: [about a possible trip to the Grand Canyon] We were planning to take my boy.

Simon: How old is he?

Mack: 15.

Simon: 15? Probably won't wanna go with you now. Probably go with his friends and his chick now. You've missed that boat.

Mack: [to another driver in a hurry] Alright, alright!

Mack: Who's up?

Dee: Mrs. Flores and her 3 sons.

Mack: Hmm. Then what?

Dee: At 4:30, Mr. Duk.

Mack: Mr. Duck?

Dee: Mr. Duk.

Mack: Mr. Daffy Duk?

Dee: You're awful. That's why I can't stand you.

Mack: Shame what this town's come to.

Charley Waite: You could do something about it.

Mack: What? We're freighters. Ralph here's a shopkeeper.

Charley Waite: You're men, ain't you?

Mack: I didn't raise my boys just to see 'em killed.

Charley Waite: Well you may not know this, but there's things that gnaw at a man worse than dying.