Ma Boggs Quotes in Every Which Way But Loose (1978)

Cholla: [the Black Widows have shown up at Philo's home, Ma Boggs is on the porch, they pull their bikes into her yard and Cholla pulls up on the porch] Say, old lady, where's Philo Beddoe?

Ma Boggs: How the hell do I know? Get off my porch with that thing. Get off my property!

Cholla: You're uh... you're not very hospitable.

Ma Boggs: Hospitable my ass. Get off my porch!

Cholla: Very well, if you insist.

[Cholla chains his bike to a support on the front porch, pulling it down... bikers laugh, Ma pulls out a pump-action shotgun]

Woody: [seeing the gun] Alright lady... put down that gun now!

[bikers dive out of her way]

Woody: I'm warning you lady! Put down that gun now!

[Ma fires and bike next to Woody explodes... she shoots several other bikes as they're attempting to flee]

Ma Boggs: [during a recoil] Oof!

Woody: [running after his gang on foot] Wait for me!

Ma Boggs: [seeing the flaming bikes on her lawn... to herself] First the police, and I told those boys not to leave a vulnerable old lady all alone!

[goes inside with gun]

Ma Boggs: Hospitable? Horseshit!

Ma Boggs: [Ma has just learned of Philo and Orville's trip plans... turning to Philo] What're you gonna do with the baboon?

Philo Beddoe: Orangutan, Ma. Clyde's an orangutan.

Ma Boggs: [scoffs] Well, what's the difference?

Philo Beddoe: 12 ribs. Just like you and me.

Ma Boggs: [persistent] What're you gonna do with him?

Philo Beddoe: He's coming with me. Come on, Clyde!

[Clyde enters back of camper]

Ma Boggs: Well, when are you comin' back?

[turns to Orville and repeats same question]

Orville Boggs: Whenever it's time, Ma!

Ma Boggs: [shruggs, exasperated] It just don't seem right to leave an old lady alone. And what about my goddamn license?

[they drive off... to herself]

Ma Boggs: This is... it's just...

[walks off]

Ma Boggs: Twelve ribs... I don't believe any of that shit!

[Philo is sanding off a motorcycle when Ma taps him with her cane]

Philo Beddoe: Cut it out, Clyde.

[Ma hits him with the cane; Philo notices it's Ma]

Philo Beddoe: Ma, what'd do that for?

Ma Boggs: I've been trying to get your attention for five minutes. Did you see Orville?

Philo Beddoe: Yeah, I've seen him.

Ma Boggs: Well, Orville tell ya what?

Philo Beddoe: Yeah, I'm sorry, Ma, about you missing your driver's test again.

Ma Boggs: Oh, that ain't the "What" what I mean.

Philo Beddoe: You mean Clyde? Yeah, well, I'm sorry about that too, Ma. He won't do it again, I promise you.

Ma Boggs: Well, what are you gonna do about it?

Philo Beddoe: What, the crap or the Oreos?

Ma Boggs: About Clyde, goddamn it! I don't have no privacy in my own home no more.

Philo Beddoe: Well I confronted about it, Ma, and I guarantee it won't happen again.

Ma Boggs: [walks towards Clyde] No privacy in your own home. A whole goddamn bag of Oreos!

[Clyde smooches Ma on the lips]

Ma Boggs: [disgusted] Ohh! Stop that, ya goddamn baboon. No respect! No privacy! No nothing!

[Philo walks up to Clyde, pointing an imaginary gun at him; Clyde, standing on a stump, raises his arms high]

Philo Beddoe: Bang!

[Clyde drops down on the stump]

Ma Boggs: Twelve ribs, my ass!

[Putnam & Herb arrive at Ma's house; Putnam knocks on the screen door]

Ma Boggs: Who is it?

Putnam: Police.

Ma Boggs: I'm coming. I'm coming, goddamn it! What do you want with an old lady?

Putnam: Ma'am, we're looking for Philo Beddoe. Our records say he lives at this here address.

Ma Boggs: Well, your records are wrong. He lives at that address in the back. What do you want him for?

Putnam: Just lookin' for him, ma'am.

Ma Boggs: Well, he don't live there anymore. He's gone off. Took that son-of-a-bitch Clyde with him.

Putnam: Clyde?

Ma Boggs: His ape!

Herb: His ape?

Ma Boggs: You heard me. What you making me repeat myself for?

Herb: Do you know where he's gone?

Ma Boggs: Oh, who gives a damn? Stealing all my Oreos, crapping all over the place. 12 ribs, my ass.

Herb: Uh, thank you very much. Sorry to bother you, ma'am.

Putnam: Good night, ma'am.

Ma Boggs: Yeah, I'm sorry too. S-see, leave an old lady alone, fending for herself, no protection. You just don't see...