Lyons Quotes in Carry on Emmannuelle (1978)

[Lyons, the butler, meets the Emmannuelle for the first time. She turns up to surprise her husband at the French Ambassador's Residence in Central London]

Lyons: Can I help you?

Emmannuelle Prevert: I am your mistress.

Lyons: Oh my gawd!

[Panicked, he slams the door. Pause, to himself:]

Lyons: I don't have a mistress!

[Opening the door again:]

Lyons: I don't have a mistress.

Emmannuelle Prevert: You have now! To begin with you can tell the Ambassador that his wife is here!

Emile Prevert: Cheri, Loins...

Lyons: His excellency meant Lyons, madam. My name is Lyons.

Emmannuelle Prevert: I prefer Loins.

Lyons: Likewise, madam.

Lyons: It says scopophilia is the more urgent form of voyeurism.

Leyland: Hmm?

Lyons: The need to watch others undress.

Leyland: Blimey, I've had that for years.

Lyons: Not with an entire football team.

Leyland: No I'm a rugby man, mate! Different shaped balls.

Bono: Your daddy got a promotion on the rubbish. He gonna be the first colored driver. Ain't got to do nothin' but sit up there and read the paper, like them white fellas.

Lyons: Hey, Pop, if you knew how to read, you'd be all right.

Bono: Nah, nah. You mean if the nigger knew how to drive, he'd be all right.Been fighting with them people about driving and ain't even got a license.

Lyons: See you, Uncle Gabe!

Gabriel: Lyons! King of the Jungle!