Lynn Quotes in What Would Bear Do? (2013)

Lynn: You act like he is GOD, or, or Oprah, or something!

Mercedes: [after finding out Lynn would be working in the shop] You tryin' to do a little too much around here, OK? You ain't trying to lighten up the place, you's trying to *whiten* up the place! So here's what I'm gonna do, Gina. I'm gonna let you and little miss Blue Ridge here have the shop. Do your thing, go on girl, do your thing because I can't be a part of this, OK. Porsche, are you rollin'?

Porsche: Yeah, I ain't gonna be able to do it either.

Lynn: Gina, I didn't mean to run them out.

Gina Norris: [to Lynn] Don't worry about it, better we get rid of the bad apples now. Besides, them girls got too much attitude - I was ready to snap the shit out of one of them.

Gina Norris: [to the other stylists] Alright, anybody else leavin'? Because this white bitch is staying!

Mrs. Towner: When did y'all get to be so integrated around here?

Lynn: This morning!

Hollerin' Helen: Hit me on my websited, www.how to shake a nigga.com

[whole beauty shop howls]

Lynn: I thought you couldn't say the N word on the radio.

Chanel: No, see she can say it, you just can't.

Gina Norris: You know what, you could be black, white, ghetto past, no ghetto past, ain't nobody using the N word up in here, and no bitches and hoes either, except for the ones that don't tip.

Lynn: Well, how about when you're making mad, passionate love and he reaches his climax, and that one tear rolls down his face like Denzel Washington in "Glory?"

Gina Norris: Then you got him whipped!

Ida: She had to say Denzel... she couldn'ta said Brad Pitt. Hell, she coulda said Bozo the Clown!

Lynn: You think I've forgotten that you cheated on me twice?

Monix: I only cheated on you once. There just had to be two women.

Lynn: How'd she die?

Norah: It was sorta a do-it-yourself thing?

Lynn: [increasingly upset at Paul] All I know is that my daughter has been silently slicing her arms and legs with a straight-edge razor for six years. A straight-edge razor! Now what don't you understand, you solipsistic fuck!

Lynn: Get out. Get out. You son of a bitch.

Elliot: Think you just insulted yourself, mom.

Lynn: Shut up and go fuck yourself!

Cop at Apartment: How many have you had to drink?

Lynn: One... after another.

Lynn: You're such a perceptive woman. How can you not understand his feelings?

Lynn: Usually when a fellow takes a girl out and buys her a meal, he thinks that she's the dessert.

[last lines]

Lynn: Just take me there.

Lynn: What I'd give for a hot shower and a cold margarita.

Brenda Carter: [chiming in] The beach...

Lynn: A massage...

Ethel: I'll take a real bed.

Brenda Carter: [slyly] The chronic.

Lynn: [laughs] Brenda!

Ethel: What?

Lynn: [still laughing] The chronic... it's pot, Mom.

Ethel: [stares at her daughters, horrified and displeased]

Lynn: Hey B.

Brenda Carter: Hey.

Lynn: How you holding up?

Brenda Carter: [sarcastically] I am thrilled.

Lynn: [laughing] Yeah, this is a total drag.

Brenda Carter: [snidely] Yeah, well, you know, I really don't care what they say. Next year, I am going to Cancun with my friends. Not going on any more of their lame family trips.

Lynn: Well, we're not not gonna have many more of them, you know. And if you want to go to Cancun, you know you're gonna have to get a job.

Brenda Carter: Oh, what you mean like your job?

Lynn: [firmly] Brenda. I help Doug out at the store, okay?

Brenda Carter: [leaning back in her chair, disbelieving] Ah.

Doug Bukowski: [off-camera] Honey? Can you bring me my jacket?

Brenda Carter: [mimicking Lynn] I'll be right there, honey.

Lynn: [gets up and walks away, smirking and flipping Brenda the middle finger]

Brenda Carter: [laughs]

Bobby Carter: [to Lynn, after scaring her] Could you get me a Twinkie?

Lynn: No!

Bobby Carter: [groans in dismay]

Lynn: Got a gum?

Philo Vance: No.

[He is searched anyway]

Lynn: Sit down.

[after Vance sits]

Lynn: Surprised?

Philo Vance: No, it's all in this letter to Markham.

[Vance starts to reach for the letter]

Lynn: Keep your hand down. I'll take that!

[He takes the letter]

Lynn: I'm gonna burn it before I drill yuh.

Philo Vance: Without seeing how near I came to guessing right. It's very short really. Read it.

Lynn: [Ordering] You read it! I'll let you live until you're finished.

Philo Vance: I wish it were longer. For the sake of brevity, I put it in synopsis form.