Lydia Callahan Quotes in Skipped Parts (2000)

Sam Callahan: Will you explain to me about women?

Lydia Callahan: Women are right, men are wrong, and that's all you need to know.

Lydia Callahan: [calling out] Hank, honey, what's that Indian thing you're making?

Hank Elkrunner: [entering with two heaping plates] Macaroni and Cheese!

Lydia Callahan: Well, fuck me silly. Do I look like a housewife to you?

Lydia Callahan: If you sleep with a girl and afterwards she likes you as a friend, then she's always gonna like you as a friend and she's never gonna like you as a lover, and there ain't nothing in this Hell-bitch world you can do about it.

Dot: The guys paid a dollars apiece to find out if you're single.

Lydia Callahan: Tell the guys I have five husbands, each one rich, mean and jealous. I'll be rotatin' them through on a weekly basis.

Dot: That line will be all over the valley by breakfast.

Lydia Callahan: Oh, just tell 'em I own a rifle.

Sam Callahan: You're licking the mirror.

Lydia Callahan: I'm makin' contact.

Sam Callahan: With who?

Lydia Callahan: Myself.

Lydia Callahan: I'm your squaw, damn it!

Sam Callahan: Now that Maurey and I have done it, will she like me?

Lydia Callahan: Maurey will always have a warm spot in her heart whenever she thinks about you.

Sam Callahan: But she says we're just friends.

Lydia Callahan: Well, you're lucky. That way you can have the fun of love without the heartbreak.

Sam Callahan: But what if I like her and get my heart broke anyway?

Lydia Callahan: Then you're a sucker.

Sam Callahan: [about Hank] So, we gonna keep him?

Lydia Callahan: Don't be ridiculous. He's not a sweater.

Sam Callahan: I never said he was.

Lydia Callahan: The timed mastery of a horse is nothing more than competitive sex, proof that man can subjugate anythin' wild and beautiful once he gets it between his legs.

Delores: What gets me is they want a belt buckle for lastin' eight seconds.