Lycus Quotes in A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum (1966)

Lycus: Is it contagious?

Pseudolus: Have you ever seen a plague that wasn't?

Lycus: If I've told you once, I've told you a hundred times; do not fan the girls when they're wet! But you'll never learn, you'll be a eunuch all your life.

Lycus: I'll kill him! I'll kill him!

Crassus: Who?

Lycus: The lyingest, cheatingest, sloppiest slave in all Rome!

Crassus: Oh, Pseudolus.

Lycus: She was sold just this morning.

Hero: Sold! Then receive, oh bosom, thy fatal blade!

[tries to stab himself and misses]

Pseudolus: [takes the blade] Behave yourself!

Lycus: [resuming] He'll pick her up within the hour.

Hero: Then receive, oh bosom, thy fatal blade!

[takes another knife out, tries to stab himself, and misses yet again]

Pseudolus: Put your bosom away!

Lycus: This I swear by the great Necrophytes, god of pimps, panderers and go-betweens.

[Exits scene, returns]

Lycus: A new god, but a very hard worker.