Luke Shapiro Quotes in The Wackness (2008)

Stephanie: Know what your problem is, Shapiro? It's that you just have this really shitty way of looking at things, ya know? I don't have that problem. I just look at the dopeness. But you, it's like you just look at the wackness, ya know?

Luke Shapiro: I do?

Stephanie: All you have to do is look at me. And kiss me.

Luke Shapiro: Do me a favor, Steph?

Stephanie: Huh?

Luke Shapiro: Don't say nothin, ok? Just stand there til I leave. I wanna remember this. I've never done it before.

Stephanie: Never done what?

Luke Shapiro: Had my heart broken.

Luke Shapiro: In June I graduate. And then I go to my safety school. And then I get a little older. And then I die.

Grandma Shapiro: Luke, have you had any more thoughts about what you're gonna be as far as a profession goes?

Mr. Shapiro: Mom, he's got time.

Grandma Shapiro: I'm just asking!

Luke Shapiro: Actually, I'm thinking about becoming a shrink.

Grandpa Shapiro: Psychology! It's not quite the shoe business, but it's a very interesting field.

Luke Shapiro: I figure I'm an expert because everyone around me is so fucking crazy, you know?

Dr. Squires: The city's a disaster, Luke. Its not like it used to be. It's plastic. One big fucking happy meal.

Luke Shapiro: Some people like happy meals.

Dr. Squires: Some people like the Yankees too, Luke. It doesn't mean they're right.

Luke Shapiro: There's enough assholes in the world, Dr. Squires, don't be another one.

Stephanie: You're a virgin?

Luke Shapiro: No. Naw. I just haven't officially had sex yet.

Dr. Squires: Don't touch my daughter.

Stephanie, Luke Shapiro: Stepdaughter!

Luke Shapiro: I got mad love for you shorty. That's on the real.

Luke Shapiro: [on the phone] Peace out, forever!

Luke Shapiro: [asking his mom for a cigarette] Got another?

Mrs. Shapiro: You smoke?

Luke Shapiro: Everything.

Luke Shapiro: So that was all bullshit right? All that stuff about embracing your pain, making it a part of you? You can't do this, you can't just give up. Life is hard and it's full of pain and what-not, but we take it cause there's great stuff too. And we can do it cause we have friends- because we have each other.

Stephanie: It doesn't matter.

Luke Shapiro: Doesn't matter? Why not?

Stephanie: Because how could anything possibly matter right now?

Dr. Squires: Young men need sex, Luke. All men, actually... I- I can get you a hooker if you like.

Luke Shapiro: God, I was *this* close to respecting you.

Dr. Squires: Big mistake, Luke. Call your girl. You don't need medication, Luke. You just need to get laid.