Luke Quotes in Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (1977)

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Luke Quotes:

  • General Dodonna: The battle station is heavily shielded and carries a firepower greater than half the star fleet. Its defenses are designed around a direct, large-scale assault. A small one-man fighter should be able to penetrate the outer defense.

    Gold Leader: Pardon me for asking, sir, but what good are snub fighters going to be against that?

    General Dodonna: Well, the Empire doesn't consider a small one-man fighter to be any threat, or they'd have a tighter defense. An analysis of the plans provided by Princess Leia has demonstrated a weakness in the battle station. But the approach will not be easy. You are required to maneuver straight down this trench and skim the surface to this point. The target area is only two meters wide. It's a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port. The shaft leads directly to the reactor system. A precise hit will start a chain reaction which should destroy the station. Only a precise hit will set off a chain reaction. The shaft is ray-shielded, so you'll have to use proton torpedoes.

    Wedge Antilles (Red 2): That's impossible! Even for a computer.

    Luke: It's not impossible. I used to bullseye womp rats in my T-16 back home, they're not much bigger than two meters.

    General Dodonna: Then man your ships. And may the Force be with you.

  • Aunt Beru: Where are you going?

    Luke: Looks like I'm going nowhere... I'm gonna finish cleaning those 'droids.

    Aunt Beru: [after Luke leaves] Owen, he can't stay here forever, most of his friends have gone. It means so much to him.

    Uncle Owen: Well, I'll make it up to him next year, I promise.

    Aunt Beru: Luke's just not a farmer, Owen. He has too much of his father in him.

    Uncle Owen: That's what I'm afraid of.

  • Han Solo: Stay sharp. There's two more coming in. They're gonna try and cut us off.

    Luke: Why don't you outrun them? I thought you said this thing was fast!

    Han Solo: Watch your mouth, kid, or you're gonna find yourself floating home! We'll be safe enough once we make the jump to hyperspace. Besides, I know a few maneuvers. We'll lose 'em.

    [the ship shudders as an explosion flashes outside the window]

    Han Solo: Here's where the fun begins.

    Obi-Wan: How long before you can make the jump to light speed?

    Han Solo: It'll take a few moments to get the coordinates from the navi-computer.

    [the ship begins to rock violently as lasers hit it]

    Luke: Are you kidding? At the rate they're gaining...?

    Han Solo: Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, boy! Without precise calculations we could fly right through a star, or bounce too close to a supernova and that'd end your trip real quick, wouldn't it.

    Luke: [notices a flashing light] ... What's that flashing?

    Han Solo: [slaps Luke's hand away] We're losing a deflector shield. Go strap yourselves in. I'm going to make the jump to light speed.

    [And so they do]

  • Uncle Owen: Luke! Take these two over to the garage will ya? I want 'em cleaned up before dinner

    Luke: But I was going into Tosche Station to pick up some power converters!

    Uncle Owen: You can waste time with your friends when your chores are done. Now, come on. Get to it.

  • Ben Obi-Wan Kenobi: [as Obi-Wan finds him and ignites lightsaber] I've been waiting for you, Obi-Wan. We meet again, at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you I was but the learner, but now I am the master.

    Ben Obi-Wan Kenobi: Only a master of evil dies.

    [fights Vader]

    Darth Vader: Your powers are weak, old man.

    Ben Obi-Wan Kenobi: You can't win, Darth. If you strike me down I will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.

    [fights more]

    Darth Vader: You should not have come back.

    [fights more]

    Luke: [Obi-Wan spots him and allows himself to be killed] NO!

    [stormtroopers shoot at him]

  • Red Leader: All wings report in.

    Red 10: Red Ten standing by.

    Red 7: [over Biggs's headset] Red Seven standing by.

    Biggs: Red Three standing by.

    Red Six: Red Six standing by.

    Red 9: [over headset] Red Nine standing by.

    Wedge Antilles (Red 2): Red Two standing by.

    Red 11: [over headset] Red Eleven standing by.

    Luke: Red Five standing by.

    Red Leader: Lock S-foils in attack position.

  • Luke: I'll not leave you here. I've got to save you.

    Anakin: You already have, Luke.

  • Darth Vader: Luke... help me take this mask off.

    Luke: But you'll die.

    Darth Vader: Nothing... can stop that now. Just for once... let me... look on you with my *own* eyes.

    [Luke takes off Darth Vader's mask one piece at a time. Underneath, Luke sees the face of a pale, scarred, bald-headed, old man - his father, Anakin. Anakin sadly looks at Luke but then gives a tired smile]

    Anakin: Now... go, my son. Leave me.

    Luke: No. You're coming with me. I'll not leave you here, I've got to save you.

    Anakin: You already... have, Luke. You were right. You were right about me. Tell your sister... you were right.

    [Anakin smiles and his eyes begin to droop slumps down in death while giving one last dying breath]

    Luke: Father... I won't leave you.

  • Luke: Your thoughts betray you, Father. I feel the good in you, the conflict.

    Darth Vader: There is no conflict.

    Luke: You couldn't bring yourself to kill me before and I don't believe you'll destroy me now.

    Darth Vader: You underestimate the power of the Dark Side. If you will not fight, then you will meet your destiny.

  • Han Solo: Together again, huh?

    Luke: Wouldn't miss it.

    Han Solo: How we doin'?

    Luke: Same as always.

    Han Solo: That bad, huh?

  • Yoda: That face you make... look I so old to young eyes?

    Luke: No. Of course not.

    Yoda: I do. Yes, I do. Sick have I become, old and weak... When nine hundred years old *you* reach, look as good *you* will not, hmm?

  • Luke: Never. I'll never turn to the Dark Side. You've failed, your highness. I am a Jedi, like my father before me.

    The Emperor: [angry] So be it... Jedi!

  • Luke: Master Yoda, you can't die.

    Yoda: Strong am I with the Force, but not that strong.

  • Han Solo: I think my eyes are getting better. Instead of a big dark blur, I see a big light blur.

    Luke: There's nothing to see. I used to live here, you know.

    Han Solo: You're going to die here, you know. Convenient.

  • Luke: [approaching R2-D2] I can't do it, R2. I can't go on alone.

    Obi-Wan: [from out of sight] Yoda and I will always be with you.

    Luke: Obi-Wan.

    [Obi-Wan's spirit approaches Luke]

    Luke: Ben! Why didn't you tell me? You told me that Darth Vader betrayed and murdered my father.

    Obi-Wan: Your father... was seduced by the Dark Side of the Force. He ceased to be the Jedi Anakin Skywalker and "became" the Sith Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So, what I told you was true... from a certain point of view.

    Luke: A certain point of view?

    Obi-Wan: Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view. Anakin was a good friend. When I first met him, your father was already a great pilot. But I was amazed how strongly the Force was with him. I took it upon myself to train him as a Jedi. I thought that I could instruct him just as well as Yoda. I was wrong.

    Luke: There is still good in him.

    Obi-Wan: He's more machine now than man. Twisted and evil.

    Luke: I can't do it, Ben.

    Obi-Wan: You cannot escape your destiny. You must face Darth Vader again.

    Luke: I can't kill my own father.

    Obi-Wan: Then the Emperor has already won. You were our only hope.

    Luke: Yoda spoke of another.

    Obi-Wan: The other he spoke of is your twin sister.

    Luke: But I have no sister.

    Obi-Wan: Hmm. To protect you both from the Emperor, you were hidden from your father when you were born. The Emperor knew, as I did, if Anakin were to have any offspring, they would be a threat to him. That is the reason why your sister remains safely anonymous.

    Luke: Leia! Leia is my sister.

    Obi-Wan: Your insight serves you well. Bury your feelings deep down, Luke. They do you credit, but they could be made to serve the Emperor.

  • Darth Vader: You cannot hide forever, Luke.

    Luke: I will not fight you.

    Darth Vader: Give yourself to the Dark Side. It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for... sister. So, you have a twin sister. Your feelings have now betrayed her, too. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me. Now his failure is complete. If you will not turn to the Dark Side... then perhaps she will!

    Luke: [igniting light saber, screams] NEVER!

  • Luke: Soon I'll be dead, and you with me.

    The Emperor: [laughing] Perhaps you refer to the imminent attack of your rebel fleet? Yes, I assure you, we are quite safe from your friends here.

    Luke: Your overconfidence is your weakness.

    The Emperor: Your faith in your friends is yours!

  • Luke: Search your feelings, Father, you can't do this. I feel the conflict within you. Let go of your hate.

    Darth Vader: It is too late for me, son. The Emperor will show you the true nature of the Force. He is your master now.

    Luke: Then my father is truly dead.

  • Luke: Master Yoda... is Darth Vader my father?

    Yoda: [avoiding the subject] Rest I need. Yes. Rest.

    Luke: Yoda, I must know. If you know, tell me.

    Yoda: Your father he is.

    [pause]

    Yoda: Told you, did he?

    Luke: Yes.

    Yoda: Unexpected this is. And unfortunate.

    Luke: Unfortunate that I know the truth?

    Yoda: No! Unfortunate that you rushed to face him... that incomplete was your training. That... not ready for the burden were you.

  • Luke: Vader's on that ship.

    Han Solo: Now don't get jittery, Luke. There are a lot of command ships. Keep your distance, though, Chewie, but don't *look* like you're trying to keeping your distance.

    [Chewie barks a question]

    Han Solo: *I* don't know. Fly casual.

  • Darth Vader: The Emperor has been expecting you.

    Luke: I know... father.

    Darth Vader: So, you have accepted the truth?

    Luke: I have accepted that you were once a Jedi named Anakin Skywalker, my father.

    Darth Vader: [angrily] That name no longer has any meaning for me!

  • Princess Leia: Luke, tell me. What's troubling you?

    Luke: Vader's here, now, on this moon.

    Princess Leia: How do you know?

    Luke: I feel his presence. But he can also feel mine. He's come for me. He can feel it when I'm near. That's why I have to go. As long as I stay, I'm endangering the group and our mission. I have to face him.

    Princess Leia: Why?

    Luke: [pause] He's my father.

  • Luke: I will not fight you, father.

    Darth Vader: You are unwise to lower your defenses!

  • Luke: If I don't make it back, you're the only hope for the Alliance.

    Princess Leia: Luke, don't talk that way. You have a power I don't understand and could never have.

    Luke: You're wrong, Leia. You have that power too. In time you'll learn to use it as I have. The Force runs strong in my family. My father has it. I have it. And... my sister has it. Yes. It's you, Leia.

    Princess Leia: I know. Somehow, I've always known.

  • C-3PO: At last, Master Luke's come to rescue me!

    Bib Fortuna: Master.

    [Jabba wakes up with a start]

    Bib Fortuna: May I present Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knight?

    Jabba the Hutt: [in Huttese; subtitled] I told you not to admit him!

    Luke: I must be allowed to speak.

    Bib Fortuna: He must be allowed to speak.

    Jabba the Hutt: [grabs Bib Fortuna; in Huttese] You weak minded fool! He's using an old Jedi mind trick.

    [Jabba shoves Bib Fortuna aside]

    Luke: You will bring Captain Solo and the Wookiee to me.

    [Jabba laughs]

    Jabba the Hutt: [in Huttese] Your mind powers will not work on me, boy.

    Luke: Nevertheless, I'm taking Captain Solo and his friends with me. You can either profit by this or be destroyed. It's your choice, but I warn you not to underestimate my powers.

    Jabba the Hutt: [in Huttese] There will be no bargain, my young Jedi. I shall enjoy watching you die.

  • The Emperor: Come, boy, see for yourself. From here, you will witness the final destruction of the Alliance and the end of your insignificant rebellion.

    [Luke's eyes go to his lightsabre]

    The Emperor: You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take your Jedi weapon. Use it. I am unarmed. Strike me down with it. Give in to your anger. With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant.

    Luke: No.

    The Emperor: It is unavoidable. It is your destiny. You, like your father, are now *mine*.

  • Luke: Threepio, tell them if they don't do as you wish, you'll become angry and use your magic.

    C-3PO: But, Master Luke, what magic? I couldn't possibly...

    Luke: Just tell them.

  • Han Solo: [flying across the deserts of Tatooine] I think my eyes are getting better. Instead of a big dark blur, I see a big bright blur.

    Luke: There's nothing to see. I used to live here, you know.

    Han Solo: You're gonna die here, you know. Convenient.

  • [Referring to Vader]

    Princess Leia: But, why must you confront him?

    Luke: Because, there is good in him. I've felt it. He won't turn me over to the Emperor. I can save him. I can turn him back to the good side. I have to try.

  • Han Solo: Chewie and I'll take care of this, you stay here.

    Luke: *Quietly*. There may be more of them out there.

    Han Solo: Hey, it's me.

  • Princess Leia: Luke, what's wrong?

    Luke: Leia, do you remember your mother? Your real mother?

    Princess Leia: Just a little bit. She died when I was very young.

    Luke: What do you remember?

    Princess Leia: Just... images really. Feelings.

    Luke: Tell me.

    Princess Leia: She was... very beautiful. Kind, but sad. Why are you asking me this?

    Luke: I have no memory of my mother. I never knew her.

  • Luke: Come with me. Leave everything behind.

    Darth Vader: Obi-Wan once thought as you do. You don't know the power of the Dark Side. I must obey my master.

  • Luke: I'll meet you back at the fleet.

    Princess Leia: Hurry. The Alliance should be assembled by now.

    Luke: I will.

    Han Solo: Hey, Luke, thanks. Thanks for coming after me. I owe you one.

  • Luke: I'm endangering the mission. I shouldn't have come.

    Han Solo: It's your imagination, kid. Come on. Let's keep a little optimism here.

  • Yoda: No more training do you require. Already know you, that which you need.

    Luke: Then I am a Jedi.

    Yoda: No. Not yet. One thing remains. Vader. You must confront Vader. Then, only then, a Jedi will you be. And confront him you will.

  • Luke: You will take me to Jabba now.

    Bib Fortuna: I take you to Jabba now.

    Luke: You serve your master well. And you will be rewarded.

  • Yoda: Soon will I rest, yes, forever sleep. Earned it I have.

    Luke: Master Yoda, you can't die.

    Yoda: Ah, strong am I with the Force, but not that strong. Twilight is upon me, and soon, night must fall. That is the way of things. The way of the Force.

  • The Emperor: I'm looking forward to completing your training. In time you will call *me* master.

    Luke: You're gravely mistaken. You won't convert me as you did my father.

    The Emperor: Oh no, my young Jedi. You will find that it is you who are mistaken, about a great many things.

  • Princess Leia: [deleted scene; Jabba the Hutt's landspeeder has blown up, causing a sandstorm as Luke, Han, Leia, Lando, Chewbacca, C-3PO, and R2-D2 head toward the Millennium Falcon]

    [to Han]

    Princess Leia: How is it?

    Han Solo: I don't know. All I see is blowing sand!

    Princess Leia: That's all any of us can see.

    Han Solo: I guess I'm getting better then.

    [as the rest get on the Millennium Falcon, Luke walks over to Han and Leia]

    Luke: I'll see you back at the fleet.

    Han Solo: Why don't you leave that crate and come with us? We're faster.

    Luke: [shakes head] I have a promise to keep... to an old friend.

    [kisses Leia, who gets on board, and starts to leave]

    Han Solo: Hey kid!

    [walks over to Luke]

    Han Solo: Thanks for coming after me.

    Luke: Think nothing of it.

    Han Solo: I'm thinking... I owe you one.

    [shakes Luke's hand, who one again leaves, puts his glove on his new hand, and gets in his X-Wing and takes off]

    Luke: [cut to a scene in space where Luke and the Millennium Falcon go separate ways]

    [over the comm]

    Luke: Meet you back at the fleet.

    Princess Leia: Hurry. The Alliance should be assembled by now.

    Luke: I will.

  • The Emperor: You're hate has made you powerful. Now fulfill your destiny, take you're father's place by my side.

    Luke: Never I'll never turn to the dark side

    Luke: You failed your highness, I am a Jedi like my father before me.

    The Emperor: So be it,Jedi.

  • Luke: I'm a werewolf, not a Golden Retriever.

  • Isabelle Lightwood: This place is full of demons.

    Luke: That's impossible. The Institute is hollow ground.

    Simon Lewis: No one seems to have told them that.

  • [Isabelle almost chops Luke's head off with a sword, but stops in the nick of time, with the sword to his throat]

    Isabelle Lightwood: I almost killed you!

    Luke: [dryly] Yeah!

  • Luke: All right, I'll give it a try.

    Yoda: No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try.

  • [Using the Force, Yoda effortlessly frees the X-Wing from the bog]

    Luke: I don't, I don't believe it.

    Yoda: That is why you fail.

  • Luke: I won't fail you. I'm not afraid.

    Yoda: You will be. You... will... be.

  • [Luke can't levitate his X-Wing out of the bog]

    Luke: I can't. It's too big.

    Yoda: Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not. For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes. Even between the land and the ship.

  • Yoda: I am wondering, why are you here?

    Luke: I'm looking for someone.

    Yoda: Looking? Found someone, you have, I would say, hmmm?

    Luke: Right...

    Yoda: Help you I can. Yes, mmmm.

    Luke: I don't think so. I'm looking for a great warrior.

    Yoda: Ohhh. Great warrior.

    [laughs and shakes his head]

    Yoda: Wars not make one great.

  • Yoda: Yes, run! Yes, a Jedi's strength flows from the Force. But beware of the dark side. Anger, fear, aggression; the dark side of the Force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will, as it did Obi-Wan's apprentice.

    Luke: Vader... Is the dark side stronger?

    Yoda: No, no, no. Quicker, easier, more seductive.

    Luke: But how am I to know the good side from the bad?

    Yoda: You will know... when you are calm, at peace, passive. A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, NEVER for attack.

    Luke: But tell my why I can't...

    Yoda: No, no! There is no "why".

  • Yoda: Why wish you become Jedi?

    Luke: Well, mostly because of my father, I guess.

    Yoda: Ahh... father. Powerful Jedi was he. Powerful Jedi.

    Luke: [suspcious] Oh, come on! How can you know my father? You don't even know who I am. Oh, I don't even know what I'm doing here! We're wasting our time!

    Yoda: [Looking away from Luke] I cannot teach him. The boy has no patience.

    Obi-Wan: [voice-over] He will learn patience.

    Yoda: Much anger in him... like his father.

    Obi-Wan: [voice] Was I any different when you taught me?

  • Luke: There's something not right here... I feel cold. Death.

    Yoda: [points to a cave opening beneath a large tree] That place... is strong with the dark side of the Force. A domain of evil it is. In you must go.

    Luke: What's in there?

    Yoda: Only what you take with you.

  • Luke: I want my lamp back. I'm gonna need it to get out of this slimy mudhole.

    Yoda: Mudhole? Slimy? My home this is!

  • Luke: I don't know. I feel like...

    Yoda: Feel like what?

    [Luke whips around and pulls out his blaster in defense]

    Luke: Like we're being watched.

    Yoda: Away put your weapon. I mean you no harm.

  • [Luke's ship sinks into the mud]

    Luke: We'll never get it out now!

    Yoda: So certain are you. Always with you what cannot be done. Hear you nothing that I say?

  • [first lines]

    Luke: Echo Three to Echo Seven. Han, old buddy, do you read me?

    Han Solo: Loud and clear, kid. What's up?

    Luke: Well, I finished my circle. I don't pick up any life readings.

    Han Solo: There isn't enough life on this ice cube to fill a space cruiser. Sensors are placed. I'm going back.

    Luke: Right. I'll see you shortly. There's a meteorite that hit the ground near here. I want to check it out. It won't take long.

  • [last lines]

    Lando: Princess, we'll find Han. I promise.

    Luke: Chewie, I'll be waiting for your signal. Take care, you two. May the force be with you.

  • Luke: [clinging to an antennae below Cloud City] Leia... Hear me, Leia...

    Princess Leia: [in the Falcon] Luke... We've got to go back.

    Lando: What?

    Princess Leia: I know where Luke is!

  • Han Solo: How ya feeling kid? You don't look so bad to me. You look strong enough to pull the ears off a gundark.

    Luke: Thanks to you.

    Han Solo: That's two you owe me junior.

  • [Yoda tries to convince Luke not to leave]

    Yoda: You must not go!

    Luke: But Han and Leia will die if I don't.

    [Obi-Wan's Force-spirit suddenly appears]

    Obi-Wan: You don't know that. Even Yoda cannot see their fate.

    Luke: But I can help them! I feel the Force!

    Obi-Wan: But you cannot control it. This is a dangerous time for you, when you will be tempted by the Dark Side of the Force.

  • [repeated line]

    Luke: Ben... Ben. Why didn't you tell me?

  • Yoda: Stopped they must be; on this all depends. Only a fully trained Jedi Knight, with the Force as his ally, will conquer Vader and his Emperor. If you end your training now - if you choose the quick and easy path as Vader did - you will become an agent of evil.

    Obi-Wan: Patience.

    Luke: And sacrifice Han and Leia?

    Yoda: If you honor what they fight for? Yes.

    Obi-Wan: If you choose to face Vader, you will do it alone. I cannot interfere.

    Luke: I understand. R2? Fire up the converters.

    Obi-Wan: Luke! Don't give in to hate. That leads to the Dark Side.

    Yoda: Strong is Vader. Mind what you have learned. Save you it can.

    Luke: I will. And I'll return, I promise.

  • [after R2D2 is spit out by a swamp creature on Dagobah - the line is changed in the Special Edition]

    Luke: You were lucky to get out of there.

  • Darth Vader: You have learned much, young one.

    Luke: You'll find I'm full of surprises.

  • [Luke has seen a vision of Han, Leia and Chewie being tortured in Cloud City]

    Luke: I saw - I saw a city in the clouds.

    Yoda: [nods] Friends you have there.

    Luke: They were in pain...

    Yoda: It is the future you see.

    Luke: The future?

    [pause]

    Luke: Will they die?

    Yoda: [closes his eyes for a moment] Difficult to see. Always in motion is the future.

    Luke: I've got to go to them.

    Yoda: Decide you must, how to serve them best. If you leave now, help them you could; but you would destroy all for which they have fought, and suffered.

  • Luke: How far away is Yoda? Will it take us long to get there?

    Yoda: Not far. Yoda not far. Patience. Soon you will be with him.

  • Darth Vader: Your destiny lies with me Skywalker. Obi-Wan knew this to be true.

    Luke: No...

  • Luke: Watch that cross fire boys.

  • Luke: Now all I got to is find this Yoda. If he even exists. It's a really strange place to find a Jedi Master. This place gives me the creeps.

    [starts to eat something]

    Luke: Still... there's something familiar about this place.

    [R2-D2 beeps]

    Luke: I don't know, I feel like...

    [suddenly whips around and aims his gun at Yoda, who cowers and whimpers]

    Luke: ... like we're being watched!

    Yoda: Away put your weapon, I mean you no harm! I am wondering, why are you here?

    Luke: I'm looking for someone.

    Yoda: Looking? Found someone, you have, I would say! Hmm?

    [laughs]

    Luke: [lowers his gun] Right...

    Yoda: Help you, I can. Yes, mmm.

    Luke: I don't think so.

    [Yoda frowns]

    Luke: I'm looking for a great warrior.

    Yoda: Oh!

    [chuckles and comes toward Luke]

    Yoda: Great warrior!

    [laughs again]

    Yoda: Wars not make one great, heh heh heh!

    [grunts as he comes over to Luke's area and picks up the thing Luke was eating]

    Luke: Put that down, now we...

    [Yoda takes a bite of the food]

    Luke: Hey! My dinner!

    [takes the food out of Yoda's hand and puts it in the lunch pack]

  • Luke: [in 1997 Special Edition only] This is it.

  • Yoda: [Luke is preparing his X-Wing fighter for take off] Luke. You must complete the training.

    Luke: I can't get the vision out of my head. They are my friends and I got to help them.

    Yoda: You must not go.

    Luke: But, Han and Leia will die if I don't.

    Obi-Wan: You don't know that.

    [Force ghost of Obi-Wan appears]

    Obi-Wan: Even Yoda cannot see their fate.

    Luke: But, I can help them. I feel the force.

    Obi-Wan: But, you cannot control it. This is a dangerous time for you. Where you will be tempted by the dark side of the force.

    Yoda: Yes! Yes! To Obi Wan, you listen. The cave. Remember your failure with the cave?

    Luke: But, I've learnt so much since then, Master Yoda. I promise to return and finish what I've begun. You have my word.

    Obi-Wan: It is you and your abilites The Emperor wants. That is why your friends were made to suffer.

    Luke: That's why I have to go.

    Obi-Wan: Luke. I don't want to lose you to The Emperor, the way I lost Vader.

    Luke: You won't.

    Yoda: Stop they must be, on this it all depends. Only a fully trained Jedi knight with the force as his allie will conquer Vader and his Emperor. If you end your training now. If you choose the quick and easy path as Vader did. You will become an agent of evil.

    Obi-Wan: Patience.

    Luke: And sacrifice Han and Leia?

    Yoda: If you honor what they fight for? Yes!

    Obi-Wan: If you choose to face Vader, you will do it alone. I cannot interfeare.

    Luke: I understand

    [Yoda looks surprised]

    Luke: R2. Fire up the converters.

    [Luke boards his X-Wing fighter]

    Obi-Wan: Luke! Don't give in to hate. That leads to the dark side.

    Obi-Wan: Strong is Vader. Mind what you have learned. Save you it can!

    Luke: I will! And I'll return. I promise!

    [Luke takes off and departs Degobah]

    Yoda: [Obi-Wan and Yoda watches Luke fly away. Obi-Wan vanishes] Told you I did. Reckless is he. Now - matters are worse.

    Obi-Wan: That boy is our last hope.

    Yoda: No! There is another.

  • Darth Vader: There is no escape. Don't make me destroy you.

    [pauses]

    Darth Vader: Luke, you do not yet realize your importance. You have only begun to discover your power. Join me, and I will complete your training. With our combined strength, we can end this destructive conflict and bring order to the galaxy.

    Luke: I'll never join you!

    Darth Vader: If you only knew the power of the Dark Side. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.

    Luke: He told me enough! He told me *you* killed him!

    Darth Vader: No. *I* am your father.

    Luke: No. No. That's not true. That's impossible!

    Darth Vader: Search your feelings, you *know* it to be true!

    Luke: [anguished] No! No!

  • Jon: You're gonna lose your licence

    Luke: I don't have a licence

  • [Outtake]

    Carter: You know that other stuff but you don't know his name?

    Luke: Man, people tell me shit... Achoo!

    Carter: What's wrong with you?

  • Luke: [after Lee leaves the room, Carter laughs] Don't come up here in my place of business and scaring me like that, god damn.

    Carter: I was just playing, man, gimme a hug.

    [Luke and Carter hug]

    Carter: I'm just schoolin' that rookie, man, showin' him the ropes. Why you didn't come to church sunday?

    Luke: I had some things to take care of, but I made the night service, though.

    Carter: Yeah, yeah, look, com'ere, I wanna holla at you.

    Luke: What's up?

    Carter: I need to know who this guy is runnin' 'round town buying up all these explosives and weapons.

    Luke: I know nothin' about that, baby.

    Carter: Luke, Look man, I know what you do man, and the only reason why I ain't busted your ass is 'cause you my cousin, and it'd kill Aunt Bootsie.

    Luke: Why you gonna put Aunt Bootsie in this?

    Carter: Luke, I ain't playing, man. I know she gotta bad heart, but if I have to I will bust your ass. Tell me something.

    Luke: The word down in Chinatown is there's this new dude in town. Bad ass dude outta Hong Kong, buying up every god damn thing.

    Carter: What's his name?

    Luke: Shit, I don't know his name, man, he ain't buyin' shit from me.

    Carter: You don't know his name?

    Luke: Naw.

    Carter: God damn, don't nobody know his name.

  • Luke: The General is a great man!

    Postman: [incredulous] The General is a fucking lunatic!

  • Chas: I shouldn't have left her.

    Wade Parent: Nothing would have changed. He would have taken you out too. I talked to her... she called me when she got back here. She could hear the engine coming down the street.

    [choking back the tears]

    Wade Parent: She was so frightened. I don't know... I don't know.

    Luke: I know why he didn't go into the cemetery.

    [Wade turns to look at Luke]

    Luke: I know why. There's no other reason... the ground... was hallowed.

    [Wade gives Luke a skeptical glare]

    Luke: That's what I say... but you think about it. Everything that's happened... what it did to the guys, and how.

    [Wade turns and walks out of the house]

    Luke: Everybody else was killed on the street! Lauren was killed in the middle of her own living room! She was special... why? Because she cursed him, that's why!

    Wade Parent: I don't believe it, I don't accept it.

    Luke: Wade, that car flew into that house four feet off the ground. And how did he know where she lived?

    Wade Parent: Keep the road blocks up, get all the other guys. Get 'em down at the station right away.

  • Luke: I don't want any holes in those uniforms!

  • Brody Sutton: I've heard this kind of worthless dreck my whole life from hypocrites, liars, and con-men who wanted my money. What makes you any different?

    [pause]

    Luke: I'll be dead in 4 days. What do you think you have that you could possibly offer me?

  • Luke: You killed the Count of Harpton?

    Grekkor: None of my enemies live very long.

  • Luke: Do me a favor. If you see my dad on the highway to hell...

    Percy Jackson: Yeah?

    Luke: Kick his ass for me.

  • Annabeth Chase: [bringing Percy and Grover to Luke's quarters] Luke?

    Luke: [playing Call of Duty on a big flat-screen monitor] Hmm? Hey, guys. Percy. I figured you'd stop by sooner or later. Everybody does... to get away from all that Renaissance Fair stuff out there, you know?

    [Luke turns off the video game, stands, and gestures at all his electronics in the quarters]

    Luke: But, uh... welcome to the modern world.

  • Luke: Percy Jackson! Well, you're weren't supposed to make it out alive. I can't let you that bolt to Olympus. I'm the lightning thief.

    Percy Jackson: You hid the bolt in my shield. Why?

    Luke: Well, when you said you were going to the Underworld, it hit me. That is the perfect opportunity to get the bolt to Hades.

    Percy Jackson: Why would you do that?

    Luke: To bring Olympus crumbling down.

  • Luke: What are you doing Jackson? Don't walk on my roof!

  • Tyson: [takes arrow for Percy] You'd do it for me.

    Percy Jackson: NO!

    Luke: Just remember... it didn't have to end this way. This one's on you.

  • Luke: [shows Kronos' coffin to Percy and Annabeth] It wasn't easy to find. I had to crawl through the depths of Tartarus myself. And then Cleveland.

  • Annabeth: You'd destroy the whole world just, to what, to get back at your dad?

    Luke: The Olympians overthrew their parents. It's just our turn.

    Percy Jackson: We met your father. He said that he knows that he made mistakes, and he... he told us to tell you to not be so angry.

    Luke: Really? And he couldn't even tell me himself. Does that sound familiar?

  • Helga: Real witches are very cruel, and they have a highly developed sense of smell. A real witch could smell you across the street on a pitch-black night.

    Luke: She couldn't smell me. I've just had a shower.

    Helga: Oh yes, she could. The cleaner you are, the more a witch can smell you.

    Luke: That doesn't make sense.

    Helga: Oh, yes it does. A dirty child, it is the dirt she smells. A clean child, it is the child.

    Luke: Wow. I'll never have a shower again, and I'll have you for an excuse.

    Helga: Well, just not often. Only once a month is probably safe.

    Luke: So a witch could smell me right now?

    Helga: To me you smell of raspberries and cream. But to a witch, you would smell absolutely disgusting.

    Luke: What kind of disgusting?

    Helga: Like... dog's droppings.

    Luke: I don't believe it.

    Helga: You don't believe it? What's more, to a witch you would smell of FRESH dog's droppings.

  • Luke: So if no one's seen the Grand High Witch, how are you sure she exists?

    Helga: [she looks at him] Nobody's ever seen the Devil, but we know He exists, don't we?

    Luke: Yes.

    Helga: For all you know, a witch might be living next door to you.

  • Woman in Black: Hello, young man. What a magnificent tree-house. Did you build it yourself?

    Luke: My dad and I did.

    Woman in Black: [opening her purse] I've got something for you here. Something I think you'll like.

    [Her eyes glow. Luke gasps]

    Woman in Black: Jump down, and I'll show you.

    Luke: No!

    Woman in Black: What?

    Luke: No, thank you very much.

    Woman in Black: It's worth a lot of money...

    Luke: This is private property.

    Woman in Black: [pulling a snake out of her purse] There's nothing to be frightened of, I just wanted to give you this. I find him on my walks, he's quite harmless. See? Little boys love snakes. Here, he's yours.

    Luke: [calling] Grandma!

    Woman in Black: Look, I'll leave him here if you like, then you can come down on your own and get him. They wriggle away quite quickly... UNLESS you tell them not to.

    [she whispers to the snake]

  • Luke: Grandma! Grandma! Wake up, Grandma! Please, Grandma!

    [Miss Ernst and Miss Irvine enter the room]

    Luke: My grandma!

    Miss Eva Ernst: An old adversary I have discovered... very old...

    Luke: If you hurt my grandma...

    Miss Eva Ernst: Silence!

    [caughts Luke]

  • Helga: Oh, how I love English hotel teas! Cream cakes, and shortbread, and...

    Luke: No grandma.

    HelgaLuke: No cream cakes.

    Helga: And no shortbread either; it's full of sugar. Soon I will be eating the same diet as your mice.

  • Helga: Witches spend their time plotting to kill children, stalking the wretched child like a hunter stalks a bird in the forest.

    Luke: Did they hunt you?

    [she shows him her right hand with a missing finger]

    Luke: You said it was an accident...

    Helga: A very unpleasant accident.

  • Mr. Stringer: I'm sorry, madam, but I cannot permit mice in my hotel.

    Helga: How dare you say that when your rotten hotel is full of rats anyway?

    Mr. Stringer: Rats? There are no rats in this hotel!

    Helga: I saw one this morning running along the corridor, into the kitchens.

    Mr. Stringer: Madam, you only arrived in the hotel this afternoon.

    Helga: [scoffs] Morning, afternoon, I saw a rat in your hotel, and if matters do not improve, I shall have to report you to the public health authorities.

    Mr. Stringer: Look, madam, I'm not prepared...

    Luke: The cakes in the lounge are nibbled around the edges, too. I can show you.

    Helga: If you are not careful, the health people will order the whole hotel closed before everyone gets typhoid fever.

    Mr. Stringer: You can't be serious, madam!

    Helga: I have never been more serious in my life. Now - will you or will you not let my grandchild keep his hygienic and perfectly harmless pet mice?

  • [all are marching and singing in cadence. One sings a sentence, the others repeat it]

    Luke: Mama, mama can't you see? / What the Army's done to me? / They put me in a barber's chair. / Spun me 'round, I had no hair./ I used to drive a Cadillac. / Now I'm marching in a pack. / I used to drive a Chevrolet. / Now I'm marching for my pay. / They took away my T.V. / Got me doing I.T.

  • Jack Merridew: Whats this dumbshit I hear about a monster? We're gonna have to send you back to kindergarten!

    Larry: I'm serious.

    Jack Merridew: Ok what kind of monster? Did it have fur and poison fangs, or long slimy tentacles?

    Larry: It growled and it came out of me and it's mouth, it was wet.

    Luke: Maybe it was a bear.

    Roger: Sounds more like a reptile.

    Jack Merridew: Sounds more like bullshit.

  • Ellie Mae: Are you ready to help rescue that little young 'un?

    Deadeye: Sure enough, Ellie Mae!

    Deacon Owl: Hallelujah!

    Ellie Mae: [Notices Luke fast asleep] Luke! On your feet, you lazy critter!

    Luke: Oh, uh- Shucks, Ellie Mae. I was just a-waitin' for someone to holler charge!

    Gramps: Dag nab it! Let's cut out the jawin' and get it goin'.

    Deadeye: [Chuckling] When old Gramps gets head up his nose gets plum out of joint.

    Ellie Mae: Take it easy, Gramps! We gotta stay here 'til Evinrude brings us word from the mice.

    Gramps: If that bug don't get here soon, they'll put that poor little girl down the black hole again!

  • Luke: Here, cousin. It looks like you could use a swig of this. It's good for what ails you.

    [pours "swamp juice" down Bernard's mouth; Bernard has spastic reaction and gasps]

  • Luke: If you can keep your head, when all around loses theirs, and blames it on you. If you can trust yourself when all other men doubt you, but you make allowance for their doubting too. "My dad taught me this": If you can fill every unforgiving minuet, with 60 seconds full distance run. Yours is the earth, and everything in it. And which is more, you'll be a man, my son.

  • Bruce: Wow look at her.

    Luke: How do ugly guys get hot chicks?

  • Luke: It's just a war... there's no reason to hurt anyone!

  • Luke: You'll just end up like all the other gringos - drinkin' tequila, shittin' out chili peppers, & waitin' fer... nothin'.

  • Luke: Can you get me lunch?

    [tosses Jesse his wallet]

    Jesse: Not another burger... You know, you are not going to be 22 forever.

    Luke: [Luke raises his shirt, shows six pack] I think I'm good.

    Beca: [Stares at Luke's abs] He's good

  • Luke: Jonathan Gold is my muse.

    Ellen: Raymond Chandler was your muse a few minutes ago.

    Luke: I know. Isn't that *fantastic*? Nobody can keep up with me.

  • Denny: Man, all you gotta do is find a girl that looks just like her, nail her, and then dump her, man. Get her of your mind.

    Mark: Your only mistake is that you didn't dump her first. Diane Court is a show pony. You need a stallion, my friend. Walk with us and you walk tall.

    Luke: Bitches, man.

  • Ben Harrison: Can you fall out of love with your kids?

    Luke: No. That is impossible!

    Ben Harrison: Like Mission: Impossible!

  • Luke: Anna! You do NOT run out on your mother!

    Anna Harrison: No, that's your job.

  • Jackie Harrison: What are we going to tell the kids?

    Luke: Maybe we should tell them the truth. They can handle it. It should've been me instead of you.

    Jackie Harrison: I'll go along with that.

  • [Isabel takes a family Christmas photo]

    Isabel: Why doesn't everybody get on the sofa for a picture, huh?

    Jackie Harrison: [talks to Luke] Baby, can you put that birdcage on the floor for me?

    Isabel: [sets the camera up for a second shot] And I'll set up here.

    Luke: All right, there you go.

    Isabel: On the count of three, I want to see big Christmas smiles. One, two... Benjamin.

    [looks at Ben to smile]

    Isabel: Three.

    [camera snaps]

    Isabel: Excellent.

    Jackie Harrison: Good one. Okay, now let's get one with the whole family. Isabel?

    Isabel: [Isabel smiles] Okay, let me just reset this. Get ready.

    [Isabel sits with Jackie, Luke, Anna, and Ben. The camera snaps]

  • Luke: Don't do this. Don't bring in the lawyers. You know that the kids aren't in any real danger, this is about Isabel.

  • Luke: We'll beat it. You're not alone in this you know. You don't have to go through this by yourself... you know that? Understand what I'm saying?

  • [during the outtakes]

    Luke: I had a job for a minute as one of those sign spinners.

    Joseph: Like in one of those sandwich places?

    Luke: Yeah, but I plugged it in, put some Christmas lights in it, tried to get paid extra... strangled my penis.

    Joseph: Strangled your penis? How does that happen?

    Luke: You can strangle your penis.

    Joseph: Were you doing that flip behind your back and came up around your taint?

    Luke: My penis was in a rear, naked choke.

    Joseph: What kind of workman's comp do you get for that?

    Luke: You just get fired...

    [they start laughing]

  • Luke: No regrets, that's my motto. That and everybody Wang Chung tonight.

  • Luke: Can you get an STD from a polar bear?

  • Luke: This suit is really cramping my Hardy Boys. It's no mystery.

  • Luke: Well, yeah it dosen't really allow my dice to roll and by dice I mean testicles. Speaking of testicles, let me get a beer.

  • Luke: [drunk] There you are, I've been looking for you, come inside, you look so beautiful and I wanted to see if you wanted to dance...

    [Anna walks up]

    Luke: Not you, him and his white tuxedo.

  • Luke: He's had a crush on that bench for years

  • Luke: You know I hate what they're doing to the mountain, but this is the best vanilla latte I have ever had. You can actually taste the vanilla beans... I don't like the coffee.

  • Barry: So, uh, who's the "jaccuzi casanova?"

    Stumpy: [pointing at Luke] That's him right there

    Luke: Thanks Stumpy

    Stumpy: Yeah, they call him that because he had himself all up in it, lovin' it strong.

  • Luke: Good evening. You all know the rules of King of the Mountain. Rule number one: you do not talk about King of the Mountain. Rule number two: there are no rules.

    Anthony: Uh, what about rule number one?

    Luke: That's more of a guidline than a rule, do not interrupt!

  • Eric Montclare: Luke, why don't you shut up before my fist makes an appointment with your ass?

    Luke: Eric, do you notice you're always talking about sticking something in my ass, and that time it wasn't even a threat,

    [grinning]

    Luke: technically, that was *flirting*...

  • Rick: Bull Mountain is our home, and I say we do something about it!

    Pig Pen: Yeah! It is our town!

    Jenny: Yeah!

    Barry: So you got a plan?

    Rick: No.

    Luke: [pause] I'm in.

    Anthony: Me too.

    Jenny: Let's do it!

  • Luke: This uniform is really cramping my Olsen Twins. Lance, Can I get a drink for Mary Kate and Ashley?

  • Inga: Where did you get all these scars?

    Luke: Well, let's see. Skateboard... Truck accident... Fire hydrant.

    Inga: I bet each one has its own exciting story, no?

    Luke: No not really. I skateboarded off of a truck into a fire hydrant.

  • Luke: [punches Pig Pen] A little sensitivity here. Can't you see this is a dejected man?

    Pig Pen: Now Rick, get your dejected head out of your ass. Papa wanted you to run this mountain.

  • Luke: Why don't you back off side-show Bob?

  • Jim: So what do you do, Luke?

    Luke: I fall in love with women who then shit on me from a great height.

    Daphne: You shouldn't put them on a pedestal.

  • [on what to do with Zack]

    Luke: I say we bury the cracker and have dessert.

  • Luke: It's 1909 and you're alone with a young artist named Adolph. Do you kill him?

  • Luke: People disappear all of the time.

    Jude: Especially in Iowa. We probably saved him from an alien abduction.

  • Paulie: We've got to call the police. They'll understand.

    Luke: Sure they would. Grad student kills war hero with a knife. You'll probably just get a ticket.

  • Luke: What if you kill somebody whose death makes the world a better place?

  • Luke: You know what you need Heather? You know what you really need? A nice stiff dick to shut that big mouth of yours.

  • Zachary Cody: Liberals, never taking a stand you'd be willing to...

    Luke: to die for?

    Zachary Cody: Nah. Boy, dying is easy. There is nothing heroic about dying. But if you can take a stand for something you'd be willing to kill for, that is something, something special

  • Luke: Is it crazy to make a difference?

  • Mike: [mocks Luke] Oh, hey, excuse me, Coach stick-up-your-ass, do you think I might massage your penis for a few minutes so I too can get a work out?

    Luke: Is it hard being such a douchebag all the time?

    Mike: Uh, no. No, I actually kinda like it.

    Luke: Loser.

  • Michelle: Are you asking me out?

    Luke: I'll-I'll just sit there, I won't talk

  • Luke: I make out with a girl, I start turnin' into one. You gotta admit that's a little weird.

  • Luke: Keenan c'mere! Quick!

    Keenan: What?

    Luke: [looking at self in mirror] Well I HAD hair, man!

  • Luke: Sorry lady, but you're just bizarre.

    Sydney: May be. But one thing I learned long ago: you can't change your true nature, even if it can change you.

  • Keenan: You mean, you're gonna' try to keep yourself from getting turned on?

    Luke: Yeah.

    Keenan: C'mon, Luke, you get turned on by two scoops of ice cream.

  • Luke: She's smart, funny, the way she eats ravioli with a spoon, you're like "aaahh!"

  • Cybil: [as Andrea is lost to the world, dreaming about her crush Todd] I'm your friend, right?

    Andrea: [nods dreamily] Mm.

    Cybil: [scoffs] Oh man, you are over.

    Andrea: [laughs] Stick a fork in me.

    Cybil: Yeah, what do you think about his music?

    Andrea: [passionate] Completely spiritual...!

    Cybil: Congratulations. You discovered life beyond MTV.

    Andrea: [smile fades, dismay] I think I'm going to be sick.

    [rushing off]

    Cybil: [quietly re-directing Andrea who is headed wrong way] That way.

    Andrea: [turns about desperately, finds her way to the bathroom, but dismayed to find the object of her affection there, then, in her mind's voice:] God help me.

    [fervently tries going back through the door she just slammed shut behind her, but is now locked, then, giving up, turns around goofily, trying hard to regain her composure and look cool, resulting in a very vulnerable look]

    Andrea: Hi! Ahm, I was just looking for the bathroom.

    [in her mind's voice:]

    Andrea: This was not the visual I wanted for a first impression.

    Todd: [regarding her, and flanked by coolly smoking vaguely-amused Cara on his left, and bandmate Luke and his girlfriend on the right] What's your name?

    Andrea: [in her mind's voice:] Don't panic. Don't panic.

    [trying best to be steady]

    Andrea: Andrea. My name's Andrea.

    [smiling]

    Todd: It's all right, Andrea. Everything is all right.

    [she looks at him full of self-doubt]

    Todd: I'm Todd.

    Andrea: Hi.

    [smiles]

    Todd: This is Carla...

    [indicating the smoking blonde girl who is giving Andrea a bemused look]

    Todd: ... and this is Luke...

    [failing to find the girlfriend's name]

    Todd: well, that's Luke.

    Luke: What's up?

    Andrea: [waving at him gingerly] Hi, I'm Andrea.

    Todd: So, Andrea, do you want to go to a party with us?

    Andrea: [in her mind's voice:] I would be unavailable right now, shrouded in mystery. He would always wonder what happened to that girl who had to go to the bathroom.

    [but, speaking out, eagerly:]

    Andrea: Absolutely!

    Todd: Good. Have you got a car?

  • Cody Abilene: We're in big trouble.

    June Khnockers: No shit, Kemo Sabe.

    Cody Abilene: You don't understand. I only have one bullet left and I've never hit a moving target in my life. Here he comes.

    June Khnockers: [Stands up and exposes her breasts] Hey, look at these!

    Luke: [Stops and stares] Yeah!

    [Cody shoots Luke]

  • Luke: How do you like your alien Luke? Medium Rare.

  • Luke: Belt of Orion? How about belt of O-Fryin'!

  • Luke: That's it, ladies, show me your navels!

  • Luke: I'm going to find out who they really are.

    Roger: A hot alien with snake tits?

  • Luke: Your eyes are so beautiful.

    Alex: Because they are looking at you.

  • Roger: [alternative DVD scene] You think Melody knows I'm a virgin?

    Luke: Why do you care?

    Roger: I just do.

    Luke: My grandfather use to say you worry less about what people think of you once you realize how little they do.

  • Roger: You think Melody knows I'm a virgin?

    Luke: Actually, yeah.

  • Roger: [in the dorm laundry room, pulls out two beer cans from his laundry basket] Oh, yeah, a cerveza?

    Luke: I got to slow down man, OK?

    Roger: You can slow down when you're dead.

    [hands Luke a beer]

    Roger: Oh, yeah.

    [cracks the beer open and takes a swig]

  • Luke: [Alternative DVD scene] You never stop believing in me. Why?

    Alex: Soulmates believe.

  • Luke: You never gave up on me.

    Alex: Never.

    Luke: Yeah, never.

  • Jon: I'm not going to fondle your crotch right now.

    Luke: Why not?

    Jon: Because I'm a responsible driver.

  • Luke: He's my son and I should be around him. I wasn't around my Dad and look at the fuckin' way I turned out.

  • Luke: You don't love me you don't like me I fuckin' get it. I'm a piece of shit, OK? I'm still his father, I can give him stuff. I got this for him, just give it to him. Tell him it's from me.

  • Luke: I'm not asking for an advance, I'm quitting.

    Jack: You can't quit.

    Luke: I just did.

  • Luke: Not since Hall and Oates has there been such a team.

  • Luke: Who's that guy?

    Malena: He's yours.

  • Luke: He can get his own girl and his own kid, that's every man's right.

  • Luke: I'm still his father, I can give him stuff.

  • Luke: Everybody get down on the fuckin' floor!

  • Luke: You must get lonely.

  • Luke: [first bank robbery] Alright. Everybody who wants to live, put your hands in the fuckin' air! Get over here! Get over here now! Get the fuck over here! Get on your knees. What's your name?

    Teller - Banker #3: Max.

    Luke: Max is my little fuckin' dog. Everybody get your fuckin' money and he's gonna go fetch. Get it out. Put it on the table right now! Get it out! Pray! Pray! Let me hear you fuckin' pray!

  • Luke: [solo bank robbery] Everybody get down on the fuckin' floor! You, get up! Get the fuck up! Fill up that bag with money. Don't look at me! Put your... No faces! You! Get up! Get up. Get up! Get the fuck up. Get that fuckin' money. Put that fuckin' money in there.

    Teller #1 - Bank #2: Okay. Stay calm.

    Luke: What are you doing? Throw it over!

    [bag hits the shield]

    Teller #1 - Bank #2: I'm sorry.

    Luke: *Throw it over!*

    Teller #1 - Bank #2: I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

    Luke: Where's that guy back there? That fuckin' guy. Hey, guy! Get up! Throw that over. You better not fuck this up.

    [bag gets stuck on top of shield]

    Luke: Jesus Christ. This fuckin' shit.

  • [Luke won a game of poker on a bluff]

    Dragline: Nothin'. A handful of nothin'. You stupid mullet head. He beat you with nothin'. Just like today when he kept comin' back at me - with nothin'.

    Luke: Yeah, well, sometimes nothin' can be a real cool hand.

  • Boss: Sorry, Luke. I'm just doing my job. You gotta appreciate that.

    Luke: Nah - calling it your job don't make it right, Boss.

  • Luke: Yeah well... sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand.

  • Carr: Them clothes got laundry numbers on them. You remember your number and always wear the ones that has your number. Any man forgets his number spends a night in the box. These here spoons you keep with you. Any man loses his spoon spends a night in the box. There's no playing grab-ass or fighting in the building. You got a grudge against another man, you fight him Saturday afternoon. Any man playing grab-ass or fighting in the building spends a night in the box. First bell's at five minutes of eight when you will get in your bunk. Last bell is at eight. Any man not in his bunk at eight spends the night in the box. There is no smoking in the prone position in bed. To smoke you must have both legs over the side of your bunk. Any man caught smoking in the prone position in bed... spends a night in the box. You get two sheets. Every Saturday, you put the clean sheet on the top... the top sheet on the bottom... and the bottom sheet you turn in to the laundry boy. Any man turns in the wrong sheet spends a night in the box. No one'll sit in the bunks with dirty pants on. Any man with dirty pants on sitting on the bunks spends a night in the box. Any man don't bring back his empty pop bottle spends a night in the box. Any man loud talking spends a night in the box. You got questions, you come to me. I'm Carr, the floor walker. I'm responsible for order in here. Any man don't keep order spends a night in...

    Luke: ...the box.

    Carr: I hope you ain't going to be a hard case.

    Luke: [Smiles, shakes head] .

  • Dragline: Why you got to go and say fifty eggs for? Why not thirty-five or thirty-nine?

    Luke: I thought it was a nice round number.

  • [Discussing God and the rain]

    Luke: Let him go. Bam, Bam.

    Dragline: Knock it off, Luke. You can't talk about Him that way.

    Luke: Are you still believin' in that big bearded Boss up there? You think he's watchin' us?

    Dragline: Get in here. Ain't ya scared? Ain't ya scared of dyin'?

    Luke: Dyin'? Boy, he can have this little life any time he wants to. Do ya hear that? Are ya hearin' it? Come on. You're welcome to it, ol' timer. Let me know you're up there. Come on. Love me, hate me, kill me, anything. Just let me know it.

    [He looks around]

    Luke: I'm just standin' in the rain talkin' to myself.

  • Dog Boy: Well, lookie here. I knew they'd get you. Them chains and a bonus of a couple of years... Your running days are over forever, boy. Hell, I'd like to see you try to run again. You know, you getting so you smell so bad I can track you myself.

    Luke: Yeah, well, that ought to be easy for a genuine son of a bitch.

  • Luke: I can eat fifty eggs.

    Dragline: Nobody can eat fifty eggs.

    Society Red: You just said he could eat anything.

    Dragline: Did you ever eat fifty eggs?

    Luke: Nobody ever eat fifty eggs.

    Prisoner: Hey, Babalugats. We got a bet here.

    Dragline: My boy says he can eat fifty eggs, he can eat fifty eggs.

    Loudmouth Steve: Yeah, but in how long?

    Luke: A hour.

    Society Red: Well, I believe I'll take part of that wager.

  • Boss Paul: That ditch is Boss Kean's ditch. And I told him that dirt in it's your dirt. What's your dirt doin' in his ditch?

    Luke: I don't know, Boss.

    Boss Paul: You better get in there and get it out, boy.

  • [Why he was cutting the heads off parking meters]

    Luke: Small town, not much to do in the evenin'.

  • Dragline: Where'd the road go?

    Luke: That's it. That's the end of it.

    Convict: Man, there's still daylight.

    Dragline: About two hours left.

    Convict: What do we do now?

    Luke: Nothin'.

    Dragline: Oh Luke, you wild, beautiful thing. You crazy handful of nothin'.

  • Luke: Oh come on. Stop beatin' it. Get out there yourself. Stop feedin' off me. Get out of here. I can't breathe. Give me some air.

  • [Discussing a new prisoner who has to spend the night in the box]

    Dragline: He ain't in the box because of the joke played on him. He back-sassed a free man. They got their rules. We ain't got nothin' to do with that. Would probably have happened to him sooner or later anyway, a complainer like him. He gotta learn the rules the same as anybody else.

    Luke: Yeah, them poor old bosses need all the help they can get.

  • [Alone in a church, talking to God, as police lights begin flashing]

    Luke: Is that your answer, old man? Well, I guess you're a hard case too.

  • Arletta: Why, we always thought you was strong enough to carry it. Was we wrong?

    Luke: I don't know. Well, things are just never the way they seem, Arletta, you know that. A man's just gotta go his own way.

  • Luke's Nephew: [on visiting day] Uncle Luke? Why can't *you* have chains?

    Luke: John-boy, lemme tell you something. You know, them chains ain't medals. You get 'em for making mistakes. And you make a *bad* enough mistake, and then you gotta deal with the Man. And he is one rough old boy.

  • Captain: You gonna get used to wearin' them chains afer a while, Luke. Don't you never stop listenin' to them clinking. 'Cause they gonna remind you of what I been saying. For your own good.

    Luke: Wish you'd stop being so good to me, Captain.

  • [Dragline has repeatedly knocked Luke down during a boxing match]

    Dragline: Stay down. You're beat.

    Luke: You're gonna hafta kill me...

    [struggles back to his feet]

  • Luke: Anybody here? Hey, Old Man. You home tonight? Can You spare a minute. It's about time we had a little talk. I know I'm a pretty evil fellow... killed people in the war and got drunk... and chewed up municipal property and the like. I know I got no call to ask for much... but even so, You've got to admit You ain't dealt me no cards in a long time. It's beginning to look like You got things fixed so I can't never win out. Inside, outside, all of them... rules and regulations and bosses. You made me like I am. Now just where am I supposed to fit in? Old Man, I gotta tell You. I started out pretty strong and fast. But it's beginning to get to me. When does it end? What do You got in mind for me? What do I do now? Right. All right.

    [Gets on knees, closes eyes and begins to pray]

    Luke: . On my knees, asking.

    [Peeks up with one eye, waits. Then opens eyes and crosses arms]

    Luke: . Yeah, that's what I thought. I guess I'm pretty tough to deal with, huh? A hard case.

    [Clicks tongue]

    Luke: . Yeah. I guess I gotta find my own way.

    [Headlights shine through windows, backs up]

    Dragline: Luke?

    Luke: [Shakes head and smiles] Is that Your answer, Old Man? I guess You're a hard case, too.

  • The Girl: [Washing herself down while cleaning her car with her radio on loud to get the Prisoners attention]

    Koko: God she don't know what she's doing.

    Luke: Oh boy, she knows exactly what she's doing. She's driving us crazy, and loving every minute of it!

  • Champ: [to Harold the bar owner] Hey, Roland says you had some gooks in here last week.

    Harold: So? What's it to you?

    Luke: Well, what were they doing here?

    Brett: Yeah, this is our place, mate.

    Harold: No, this is my fuckin' place, mate.

    Cackles: Oh, yeah, but you had gooks here, eh?

    Harold: Doesn't bother me. You got a problem with that, that's your fuckin' problem.

  • Luke: [while Hando has Nguyen in a headlock on the ground] We hate you gook, we'll never let you go.

    Hando: This is our place gook boy, our place. What are you going here? Hey? The only thing for you here is pain.

    Luke: We don't love you.

    [kisses Nguyen on the cheek and then punches him]

    Hando: [while shaking Nguyen] Understand? Understand? I hope you do, mate because I don't speak monkey talk.

  • Luke: So you guys are like sisters?

    Claude: No, we could never be sisters.

    Luke: Why?

    Claude: Because she's too beautiful. I'd be like some freak accident or something.

  • Luke: [to Joy] Am I a joker? Do I amuse you?

  • Luke: I'll distract them. Run!

  • Luke: Julian was wrong. She thought it could be peaceful. But how can it be peaceful when they try to take away your dignity?

  • Theodore Faron: She's pregnant!

    Luke: Yeah, it's a miracle, innit?

  • Luke: [his last line] I had a sister...

  • Evie: [to Luke] How 'bout we make a Luke sandwich?

    Luke: Um, how about you're jailbait?

  • [as underage Evie tries to seduce him]

    Luke: No. Bad. Danger, Will Robinson, danger.

  • Luke: [from trailer] Some people learn to dance... Others are born to.

  • Luke: [from trailer] What is it that you love about dance?

    Natalie: Everything you need to know is in my dancing.

    Luke: Everything?

  • Luke: [from trailer] You up for a little competition?

    Natalie: I never lose.

  • Luke: [from trailer] Welcome to my house.

  • [Matthew let's Alex try and tell him and Luke the whole story]

    Matthew: What do you think, Alex? I mean you know the whole story.

    Alex: It's easy to stand back and judge. You don't now anything about this woman.

    Matthew: I know that she has no conscience, and no regard for anyone but herself. I mean, what else do I need to know?

    Alex: You make yourself into such a victim. Nobody made you be with her. You can't even see what a hypocrite you're being.

    Matthew: I'm being a hypocrite? How am I being a hypocrite?

    Alex: Yes, you are!

    Luke: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You, guys. Hey, relax.

    Matthew: No, Luke. Hey, hold on. Alex, I'd like for you to explain to me on how I'm being a hypocrite.

    Alex: Who's to say, this woman hasn't been in love with you for a really long time? And now that she found you again, she wasn't about to let you go twice.

    Matthew: What?

    Alex: Maybe... The first time she saw you, maybe she felt the way you did the first time you saw Lisa. You remember that. Love makes you do crazy things. Insane things. Things in a million years you never thought you'd see yourself do. But here you are doin' it. Can't help it.

    Luke: Jesus Christ. Lighten up, you guys. This woman... She's a nut. She's psycho. She's Cuckoo-Bananas, all right? End of story.

  • [Matthew discusses with Luke about what he should do with his fiancĂ©e Rebecca and the girl of his dreams Lisa]

    Matthew: You're right. This doesn't make any sense. One minute I'm here looking at rings, and the next I'm here, doing this.

    Luke: Whoa. Whoa, looking at rings? I didn't realize you were that serious.

    Matthew: Apparently, I'm not.

    Luke: See, that is how the universe works. The minute you make a decision, you decide on anything, along comes temptation.

    Matthew: What would you do?

    Luke: [laughs] Keep them both and hope they didn't find out about each other.

    Matthew: [laughs] That's perfect. Asshole! I have to find out why she left.

    Luke: She got scared. Everyone gets scared.

    Matthew: No, not Lisa. She wouldn't have left without an explanation. Without some sort of letter or a call or something. She's not like that. I mean, something must've happened, and whatever it was...

    Luke: Screwed you up big time.

    Matthew: [pause] I know she loved me.

  • [Matthew meets Lisa for the first time and attempts to try a shoe fitting for her]

    Matthew: [Matthew clears his throat] Could I help you with anything?

    Lisa: Yes. Those shoes in the window. The black ones with the red sole. I'd like to try them on, please.

    Matthew: The blacks and reds. Okay. Well, I'll just go in the back and get them for you. That's where we keep them, in the back, so... I'll be right back.

    Luke: Uh, Matty. Maybe you'd like to ask the lady what size shoe she wears.

    Matthew: Right.

    Lisa: 8 1/2.

    Matthew: Like Fellini.

    Lisa: Right.

    Matthew: I mean his movie, not his shoe size. I don't know his shoe size, obviously.

    [Matthew blushes as she stares at him]

    Matthew: 8 1/2.

    Matthew: [Matthew rushes into the back of the shoe store] Shit.

    Luke: What was that?

    Matthew: Fellini! What the hell was I thinking.

    Luke: I have no idea. But you were right about one thing. God, she is beautiful. And you, my man, are an idiot. All right, look. Here's the thing, all right? You've obviously blown it, she obviously hates you. So you stay right here and let the man take a shot.

    Matthew: Shut up. Give me the shoes.

    Luke: All right. Go. Just remember... you're not funny.

    Matthew: [Matthew gathers himself in deep breaths and walks back to Lisa] Here we go. Black and red.

    [Matthew nervously slides one shoe onto Lisa's foot as she smiles down at him, then she looks at herself in the mirror]

    Matthew: What do you think?

    Lisa: They're too big.

  • [Matthew tells Luke about meeting a girl named Lisa in Lisa's apartment, who wasn't the same Lisa]

    Luke: So she had the same name, same perfume, same shoe size? That's so hot. Or... Or maybe this is creepy.

    Matthew: I think it's a little bit of both, actually.

    Luke: So, did you hit it?

    Matthew: No. Um, I slept on the couch, you know. And when I woke up in the morning, she was gone.

    Luke: But you wanted to hit it, didn't you?

    Matthew: Come on.

    Luke: Come on.

    Matthew: I'm going to China tonight, I'm practically engaged... Do I need to remind you?

    Luke: The lies we tell ourselves.

  • [Luke drives Alex home after her Theater performance and tries to make a move]

    Luke: So, I was thinking, maybe I could go upstairs with you and I'll make you a nice big cup of hot chocolate. Put a bunch of little marshmallows up on top. We'll watch TV and just hang out.

    Alex: Do you love me?

    [Luke pauses]

    Alex: [Alex changes her expression and instead kisses Luke a cheek kiss goodnight] I just wanna be alone. I'll call you. I'll call you tomorrow.

    Luke: Alex. Alex, wait a second. You gotta be kidding me. This girl's unbelievable.

    [Luke gets out of the car]

    Luke: Hey, you know what? Don't call me, okay? Don't call me until you figure out what you want to do with your life. 'Cause I can't deal with this. I mean every time, it's a different story with you, all right?

    [Alex continues to walk backwards to her building away from Luke]

    Luke: Wait, I... I'm sorry. I'll call you tomorrow. God!

    [Luke gets back into his car]

    Luke: This girl is ridiculous.

  • [Alex remembers the flashback of when she told Lisa that Matthew had been sleeping with another girl, which was a complete lie]

    Alex: [Alex cries to realize how horrible of a person she is, with Luke on the other side of her dressing room door] Luke, I'm so sorry.

    Luke: No. Shh. It's okay.

    Alex: I'm so sorry.

    Luke: No. Please, don't apologize. Please. God. I know you're doing the best you can. I just... I want to you to know that I... that I love you. All right? And I don't want to play games anymore. What's the point? I'm just terrible at them anyways.

  • [Matthew calls Luke on the phone while Alex is in bed with Luke]

    Luke: [the phone rings] Do me a favor. Grab that, would you?

    Alex: Hello?

    Luke: [Matthew on the phone] Hello?

    Alex: Who's this?

    Luke: Who's this?

    Luke: This is Matthew. Who is this?

    [Alex sits up in shock and immediately hands the phone over to Luke]

    Luke: Hello?

    Luke: Hey, what's up, kid? I thought you left.

    Matthew: No, uhh...

    Luke: What are you still doing here?

    Matthew: I'm over at the girl's apartment.

    [Alex listens from the next room over]

    Luke: You went back to the crazy girl's apartment? What the hell are you doing there? I'm starting to worry about you, man.

    Luke: I'm starting to worry myself. It's not just that. I couldn't even get on the airplane.

    [Alex leaves Luke's apartment]

    Matthew: The thing is... There's something about this apartment. It's like Lisa's been here. I know this sounds insane, but I think this is her place, man.

    [Alex tries to call Matthew and gets a busy signal, and Lisa tries to call Luke and gets a busy signal]

    Luke: Well, maybe you're just hot for this crazy girl. First thing you gotta do is get out of her apartment and get over here. I'll tell you about some stuff, too. I've had the most amazing night of my entire life last night.

    Matthew: Okay, I'll be over. Just give me a couple of minutes, okay?

    Luke: All right. I'll wait. Later.

  • [Matthew visits Luke at the shoe store to talk to him about the mysterious blonde Lisa]

    Matthew: Hey. I gotta talk to you.

    Luke: So, who is she?

    Matthew: You wouldn't believe me.

    Luke: I betcha I do. I probably even know her. What's her name?

    Matthew: That's the thing.

    Luke: You don't even know her name? Oh, man.

    Matthew: I know that she's a dancer.

    Luke: You mean, like a stripper?

    Matthew: No, shithead. Like a real dancer.

    Luke: Oh, God. I love a dancer's body. Ooh.

    Matthew: But her face is like... Her eyes... And her skin is just... She just makes me all...

    [Matthew taps his stomach smiling]

    Luke: What is wha and duh? She just makes you more inarticulate than usual. You are obsessed, which I don't understand. I mean, I don't know how you decide on just one. I mean, my customer over there... She's got great legs. Ellie. All right? There is something hot about Ellie. The blonde at the window. I mean, come on.

    [Luke points to the blonde Lisa outside the store window not knowing it's the same girl Matthew was just talking about, Matthew freezes and his eyes grow big]

    Luke: What are you doing? Matty, are you all right?

  • [Matthew returns Luke's car back late and Luke has missed his date with Alex]

    Luke: Ass...

    Matthew: I'm so sorry.

    Luke: Hole.

    Matthew: Hey, I could explain.

    Luke: You are an asshole. Do me a favor... Don't ask me for any more favors.

    Matthew: Luke... I found her. I think I found her. I found her apartment, anyway.

    Luke: I'm really happy for you, Matty.

    Matthew: I left a note under her door to meet me at the park tomorrow.

    Luke: [sarcastically] Guess you guys should have a picnic together.

    Matthew: Jesus, man. I said I was sorry.

    Luke: My entire evening is screwed.

    Matthew: Look, we're not really that late, brother.

    Luke: Alex doesn't wait for anyone. Trust me. I've already left three messages.

    Matthew: Well, why didn't you take a cab?

    Luke: 'Cause I was waiting for you. I was waiting for my car.

    Matthew: Luke, look it's not that late. You can still drive over there.

    Luke: Go over there? And do what? Throw little pebbles up at her window? She's gone. It's over. Just forget it.

    [the phone rings]

  • [the phone rings and Luke hopes that Matthew can fix things with Alex over the phone]

    Luke: I hope, for our friendship, this is who I want it to be. Want to see how cool I am? Three rings.

    [Luke answers the phone]

    Luke: Hello? Hey, how's it goin'? Oh, I'm so sorry. Did you get my message-ges. No, I lent my car to my buddy Matt, and he was a little late coming home. No, sure. He's right here. Hold on a sec. She wants to talk to you.

    [hands over the phone to Matthew]

    Luke: Fix it. You have to fix it.

    Matthew: [Luke hovers near the phone to listen in] Hello?

    Alex: [Alex on the other end of the phone] He's full of shit, isn't he?

    Matthew: Yeah, he's full of shit, all right.

    Alex: Yeah, I knew it.

    Matthew: He didn't lend me his car. I took it. I stole his keys.

    Luke: [whispers] That's good.

    Alex: Why would you do that?

    Matthew: Because I'm a selfish idiot. And I had this whole thing going on that... I don't wanna bore you with it.

    Alex: Please, I insist.

    Matthew: Okay. Well, um... I was looking for somebody. A woman. I wasn't thinking. Got a little desperate.

    Alex: Oh, I'm sorry.

    Matthew: No. I should be apologizing to you. And I am apologizing to you. I'm very sorry that I ruined your evening.

    Alex: Did you find her?

    Matthew: I think so. Yeah. I found where she lives.

    Alex: Well, you should go back, and you should look for her.

    Matthew: I think I will. Thanks.

    Luke: [whispers] Okay, you're boring now. Give me the phone.

    Matthew: Okay, Alex. I gotta go.

    Alex: Nice to talk to you.

    Matthew: Nice to talk to you, too. Bye - bye.

    Matthew: [looks at Luke handing him the phone] She's nice, man.

    Luke: [smiles] Thanks.

  • [Lisa calls Luke's phone number that Matthew left with the bartender for her]

    Luke: Hello?

    Lisa: Hi, ummm... may I speak to Matthew, please?

    Luke: Who is this?

    Lisa: Um, this is Lisa? I'm a friend of his. I'm calling about my compact. I think he might have found it.

    Luke: Uh, which Lisa is this?

    Lisa: Pardon me?

    Luke: [Luke grabs his head at how dumb of a question that sounded] Uh, I'll tell you what. He's actually supposed to be here in a couple of minutes.

    Matthew: [At the same time, the camera goes to Alex calling Matthew so that he doesn't leave to go to Luke's home] Hello?

    Alex: Hello!

    Matthew: Hi.

    Alex: Hi. I'm sorry I didn't come back. My, um... Double shift turned into a triple, and I just couldn't get away.

    Matthew: It's okay. Don't worry about it.

    Alex: Are you mad?

    Matthew: No. Not at all. I had a great time. Where are you?

    Alex: Well, I'm still at work but, um, I'm just leaving now, so why don't you wait?

    Matthew: Yeah, I'll wait.

    Alex: Okay, great. I'll see you soon.

    [Matthew hangs up knowing something is strangely wrong]

    Luke: [the camera goes back to Luke and Lisa on the phone] Let me, uh... Let me grab your phone number, and I will have him call you when he gets in.

    Lisa: Um, you know, actually, could you just tell him to meet me at 3:00? He'd know where. Um, I'll be waiting for him.

    Luke: 3:00. Okay.

    [someone knocks at Luke's front door]

    Luke: You know what, it can't be him already, but I'm expecting him. And someone's at my front door, so maybe it is him. So hold on one second.

    [Lisa has a flashback of the last time she saw Matthew and when he asked her to move in with him]

    Luke: Yeah, I'm sorry. It wasn't him, it was someone else. But I promise I will give him your message. Okay?

    Lisa: Oh. Okay. Thank you.

    [Lisa hangs up praying with tears in her eyes that she hasn't lost Matthew entirely]

  • [Matthew, Luke, and Alex finally sit together for the first time]

    Luke: So what happened with your psycho?

    [there's a pause]

    Luke: Oh, you can say it in front of Alex. She knows the whole story anyway.

    Matthew: Sometimes when you see someone from afar you develop a fantasy. Then when you see them up close, nine times out of ten, you wish you hadn't.

    Luke: [Luke smiles] I have no idea what you're talking about.

    Matthew: I was confused, so I went back to her apartment, and I thought I'd find what I was looking for, but I found something else.

    Luke: Did you talk to her?

    Matthew: Just long enough for her to convince to me that she's a liar.

  • [Matthew leaves off in a rush just before Luke returns back to Alex at the table]

    Luke: That guy. He's, um... More drama than a Mexican soap opera.

    Alex: Luke! This... This is over.

    Luke: What's over?

    Alex: Us.

    Luke: How can it be over? We haven't even started yet.

    Alex: I'm not who you think I am. I used you.

    [Alex leaves Luke there by himself]

  • Luke: There's your fantasy, studly.

    Cru: Me and Katie are like... special.

    Becky: [Luke and Becky] ooh... special love

  • Franny: Lukie, Lukie, you work for me now. I know your finances. Consider this a signing bonus.

    Luke: A signing bonus? I'm not an athlete, Franny.

    Franny: No, you're a doctor. You actually deserve a bonus.

  • Luke: I'm not gonna try and relate to you, Franny. Because I can't, all right? I don't think anyone can. But you need help. All right?

  • Luke: Just because you give and give and give doesn't make you a part of anything. It just gives you an excuse to be a coward. You are not a good person. You're a junkie with guilt.

  • Luke: [In response to Malachy's steamy afternoon at Michelle's house] So come on man paint me the picture here what's she like, is she dirty? I bet she's dirty, is she dirty?

    Malachy: Man I can't do that, no kiss and tell.

    Luke: Come on man I tell you everything. I told you the time Kelly Shiels stuck the finger up my arse.

    Malachy: Yes and I did not wish to know that.

  • Luke: You had your chance and you blew it!

    Malachy: She blew me!

  • Malachy: I freaking hate you sometimes.

    Luke: Yeah? Well get in the queue sunshine; I hate me all the time.

  • Luke: I am so gunna fuck her.

    Malachy: Not if I get there first, you're not.

  • Luke: We're going to Camp Crystal Lake.

    Steven Freeman: Oh, yeah? Planning on smoking a little dope, having a little premarital sex and getting slaughtered?

  • Steven Freeman: So, uh, why are you going to the camp?

    Luke: Well, now that Jason's dead...

    Deborah - Dark-haired Camper: We're thinking about smoking some dope, having a little premarital sex and, uh, not worry about getting slaughtered.

  • Luke: What's the deal with the Addams Family mansion?

  • Luke: Hey, you guys wanna hear something really scary? I just found this out. It turns out there's a more darker chapter in the Hugh Crain fairytale. Remember his lovely wife Renee? Well Renee, the town beauty, she didn't just die, she killed herself.

    Theo: Really? He just told you that?

    Luke: Yes, but you can't say anything because he actually swore me to secrecy.

    Eleanor "Nell" Vance: Why did she kill herself?

    Luke: The stillborn children story is more sinister, and maybe Hugh Crain was a horrible monster that drove her to it.

    Eleanor "Nell" Vance: Monster? But he built this house with the woman he loved like the Taj Mahal.

    Theo: The Taj Mahal wasn't a palace, it was a tomb. And equally overdone.

  • Dr. David Marrow: Let me explain what's happening here. You're participating in a study on group fear and hysteria.

    Luke: What? That's it, that's what this was all about?

    Theo: You brought us here to scare us, is that it?

    Dr. David Marrow: Yes.

    Luke: And you were just waiting for her to have a total nervous breakdown before you said it? I mean, what is your problem?

  • Theo: Is this one of your sick jokes, Luke?

    Luke: What? You really think I wrote that?

    Theo: You found it; you could have.

    Luke: How, with the twenty-foot ladder I keep in my back pocket?

  • Luke: Oh come on, this is crazy. Maybe she doesn't want to be found.

  • Luke: I'm not staying in this freaking house another second, so come on.

  • Luke: And you I'm gonna guess, are a les...

    Theo: Don't even start.

    Luke: Wow, You're so bossy and domineering...

    Theo: Thanks. Theo.

  • Luke: I don't know, I just think Dr. Marrow's up to something. And you know what, I'm going to find out. Right after I check on Theo, that is. I wonder how she's doing.

    Eleanor "Nell" Vance: Doing or wearing?

    Luke: Yeah, no kidding. Did you see what she had on yesterday? Hey I definitely got a soft spot for Theo.

  • Luke: [as noises come from chimney, he goes under it and yells up] Hello, Santa!

  • Luke: [looking at a statue] These carvings are really creepy. All these fat little cherubs and angels with furry animals, it's really bizarre, I think.

    Eleanor "Nell" Vance: I think they're the children Hugh Crain built the house for.

    Luke: I don't buy that for a second - that Hugh Crain was this lovable old tycoon with a soft spot for kids? This guy was obviously running a sweatshop, had children working 16 hours a day. Then he builds all this crap, it's propaganda. It's like those Teletubbies, those things freak me out also. Then they sing, so they're actually kinda scarier when you think about it.

  • Luke: We don't have time for baby talk.

  • Dr. David Marrow: The gate is still locked, we have to wait until the Dudleys arrive.

    Luke: What? That's really compassion. Yeah, "let's wait until the morning, so tomorrow I have time to write a few more Welcome Home Eleanors".

    Dr. David Marrow: Luke, I didn't write that stuff, okay?

    Luke: Of course you didn't, that wouldn't be ethical, would it doc...

    Theo: Would you guys just shut up?

  • Grace: How would you tame a horse?

    Luke: Break its spirit.

    Grace: And how do you tame a woman?

    Luke: Break her heart.

  • Caroline Ellis: I told you I wanted a black one this time.

    Luke: You know the black ones never stay. Beggars can't be choosers. I think it suits you beautifully. It's better than Violet or Grace, even. We'll get used to it. We always do.

  • [last lines]

    Luke: She meant so much to them, her being here. I know it wasn't for long, but they really loved her.

    Jill: Why do you say that?

    Luke: It's in their wills. They left her the house.

  • Luke: You know my mother used to say that if a lady invites you into her room, she probably isn't much of a lady.

    Caroline Ellis: Yeah, well, homegrown southern wisdom seems to grow on trees around here.

  • [minutes following the "Conjure of Sacrifice", as Caroline become Cecile, Luke walks into the attic]

    Luke: [as Papa Justify] Cecile? You all right?

    Caroline Ellis: [as Cecile] I'm fine now, Justify.

    Luke: A fair bit harder than the lawyer, wasn't it?

    Caroline Ellis: It gets harder every time. They just don't believe like they used to. Gotta get 'em all riled up.

  • Caroline Ellis: [as she shows Luke pictures of the attic] That attic is full of that stuff. Old recipies, voodoo dolls, magic sticks and...

    Luke: I understand your cause for concern but my family is very superstitious, too. We're called Baptists.

    Caroline Ellis: Don't be a smartass.

    Luke: No really, that's a local color.

    Caroline Ellis: You said you were worried for him.

    Luke: Well yeah now I'm worried about you. Hm? Are you a nurse or are you a detective?

  • [from trailer]

    Luke: Good night, child.

  • Caroline Ellis: Luke, she tried to kill me. She had a gun, I got away just in time but I had to leave Ben in the shed. We have to go back.

    Luke: The hell we do.

    Caroline Ellis: I left him there.

    Luke: Slow down... You didn't leave ANYBODY.

  • Luke: So what exactly happened? I came to update her will, she was up with the doc and he said that he fell?

    Caroline Ellis: He DID fall.

    Luke: Like what from his wheelchair?

    Caroline Ellis: [gestures her head towards the roof]

    Luke: You cannot be serious? Up there? He fell from up there?

    Luke: How? He can't even walk?

  • Luke: Violet! I want you to meet somebody. Mrs. Violet Devoreaux meet Miss Caroline Ellis. Caroline, this is Violet Devoreaux she owns the house.

    Caroline Ellis: You have a lovely home.

    [Violet says nothing only walks away]

    Luke: I'm sorry, it's just sort of difficult having someone living here beside her.

    Caroline Ellis: I understand.

    Luke: Well, she's Old South she thinks women still curtsey.

    [Caroline laughs and smiles, she turns her attention Ben]

    Caroline Ellis: So, he can't talk at all?

    Luke: No, stroke pretty much paralyzed him.

    Caroline Ellis: Which side was effected? Left? Or right...

    Luke: Both.

    Caroline Ellis: Both...

    Luke: Happened 'bout a... month ago up in the attic. That's where she found him. Ben, you have a visitor... Meet me Miss Caroline Ellis.

    Caroline Ellis: Hello Ben. I'm Caroline.

  • Luke: The weakness is the flesh. The flesh. The flesh.

  • Luke: The flesh. The coil.

  • Luke: The frail. The weak.

  • [to a terrified struggling Caroline]

    Luke: Hush, hush, darling. I know it's hard.

    [drags her inside house and sorta keenly calls up the stairs to Violet]

    Luke: We're home!

  • [first lines]

    Matt: Hey, hey! Hello, mate.

    Luke: Oh, it's good to see you.

    Matt: You too.

    Luke: How are you?

    Matt: Great!

  • Rosemary: Why does this one work and all the others don't?

    Luke: [smiling] It's a Chevy.

  • Paul: [waking to see Rosemary] Am I in heaven?

    Luke: Better. A bar.

  • Luke: I'm here because I will myself to exist.

  • Rosemary: We can wait till morning.

    Luke: You sure there's one coming?

  • Luke: I'm gone.

    James: Then go, motherfucka, go!

  • Luke: Pessimism is just a higher form of optimism. If you expect nothing from people, then you go through life being pleasantly surprised.

  • [last lines]

    Luke: I need you... I want you to get rid of it

    Jake Sawyer: That doesn't work that way

  • Elmer: Why are we at the Grand Canyon?

    Sue: The Colorado River is at the bottom of the Grand Canyon.

    [Looks at Luke and Elmer]

    Sue: Is this news to both of you?

    Elmer: Geography wasn't my thing. I was more of an arts and music guy.

    Luke: I was remedial.

    Sue: Yeah, but everybody knows that the Colorado River is at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. I thought you were taking me to a fort at a crossing?

    Luke: Sue, please don't yell. He's the one who told you about the army and the fort and all that stuff. That's the first I ever heard of it.

    Sue: [Turns to Elmer] You were lying?

    Elmer: No, I wasn't lying. He's the one that's supposed to know this country like the back of his hand. I figured once we reached the Colorado it was either left or right to the fort. Personally, I was gonna go straight and let you take it from there with your suicide plot against the U.S. Army.

    Sue: I should've left you two for the Cursed.

    Elmer: It was your crazy uncle Geronimo set 'em loose. So I don't see either one of us is to blame for our problems right now.

    Sue: You wanna blame me for my uncle's curse? I'm not the one who drove him off a cliff, *soldier*. And if I hadn't've found you two idiots, they would have. I hope this plague kills all of you white people.

    Elmer: I ain't that big a fan of white people either, sister. At least we got fucking wheels.

    Sue: What the hell is that supposed to mean?

    Elmer: Wheels... the basic benchmark of civilization. You Indians are supposed to be so great and wise and everything; and I got sympathy for your situation, I do. But you'd still be dragging everything on the ground if we hadn't've brought wheels into this country. And horses. The fucking Spanish brought you your horses, did you know that? Before they got here, you was just a bunch of savages in diapers dragging all your shit around on sticks and blankets.

    Sue: That is so ignorant.

    Elmer: Seems like you like our guns too; and I ain't even gonna start on the fire water shit.

    Sue: Did you invent the wheel, Elmer? No, you didn't. But you're gonna take personal credit for Western Civilization? Your monkey ancestors happened to be born in an area with abundant founder crops; big, slow ruminants, and a lateral continental axis that allowed for the development of agriculture, writing and maritime technology. Not to mention cross-species plagues, which are the real weapons of European conquest. So you invented smallpox; nice going *dick*!

    Luke: Monkey ancestors?

    Sue: Oh, Jesus Christ. Read a book!

    Elmer: What the hell kinda crazy book is that shit in?

  • Luke: Well, in case they catch up, I've got Sparkles and Sunshine!

  • Luke: [trying to escape the zombies at the fort,Luke discovers that the zombies ate his horse!] Frisky? Frisky!

    Elmer: Frisky's gone to horsy heaven. We'll say a few words later.

    Luke: You monsters! I loved Frisky! He was the best damn horse in the whole world and you ate him!

  • Luke: Do you really believe the story that this place is worth more burnt to the ground?

    Mike: No... but I believe that good people will do bad things when they're desperate.

  • Luke: I'm A.D.D., tell me again!

  • Luke: Well, I knew it was coming. I warned you, I did. Where's there's gold, there's stealing. Where there's stealing, there's killing. I knew it was coming. I just did know it.

  • Jonah: I made my mother cry.

    Luke: Yeah. She cries easy.

    Jonah: Yeah... I'm feeling very unrelated to them.

  • Luke: Jonah read me a line from a book he was reading. It said, "Happiness serves little purpose, except that it makes unhappiness possible." 01:05:12

  • Luke: I once asked my dad, "How do you know you found the right person?" And he said, "You just know. You find someone you don't mind being around, going places with, watch a movie, sleeping next to him, someone who isn't like you, someone who makes you better, who you forgive for being different, for not seeing the world the way you see it." 01:05:26

  • Luke: So I bought a camera and took pictures of him. Jonah said he heard a quote somewhere that said if it wasn't photographed, it never existed. I don't know who said it. He's full of quotes.

  • Luke: Hey you! Nice nipples. Let me pinch them!

Browse more character quotes from Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (1977)

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