Lucius Washington Quotes in Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006)

Ricky Bobby: You sick sons of bitches. I mean you walk in that door, on your two legs... all fat and cocky and lookin' at me in my chair. And you tell me its all in my head? I hope that both of you have sons... Handsome, beautiful, articulate sons, who are talented and star athletes and they have their legs taken away. I mean I pray you know that pain and that hurt.

Lucius Washington: [enraged] Don't you put that evil on me, Ricky Bobby! Don't you put that on us! You are NOT paralyzed!

Lucius Washington: You're not gonna live forever.

Ricky Bobby: No one lives forever, no one. But with advances in modern science and my high level income, it's not crazy to think I can live to be 245, maybe 300. Heck, I just read in the newspaper that they put a pig heart in some guy from Russia. Do you know what that means?

Lucius Washington: No, I don't know what that means. I guess longer life.

Ricky Bobby: No, he didn't live. It's just exciting that we're trying things like that.

Ricky Bobby: I'm going fast again!

Cal Naughton, Jr.: How fast is he going?

Lucius Washington: 26 miles per hour.

Lucius Washington: Okay, we have got to get that car back onto the race track or our sponsors are gonna shit a chicken. Now I'm gonna ask you: do any of you guys wanna go fast?

Ricky Bobby: I wanna go fast!

Lucius Washington: [trying to remove a knife in Ricky's leg] Let's use this knife to pry it out!

Lucius Washington: [to the crew as they are speed-changing a customer's tire] Guys! No tires! We're not a pit crew anymore, we're a car wash team.

Glenn: Sorry, Lucius. Hard habit to break. Like stalking an ex-girlfriend.