Lt. Morris Schaffer Quotes in Where Eagles Dare (1968)

[Smith and Schaffer are observing the Castle of Eagles fortress, and a nearby military base]

Lt. Morris Schaffer: If I'm not mistaken, that's an army barracks over there.

Major John Smith: No mistake, Lieutenant. This the headquarters of the Wehrmacht Alpenkorps.

Lt. Morris Schaffer: Oh, swell. Do you have any other surprises I should know about?

Major John Smith: I thought you knew, Lieutenant. Why do you think we were chosen for his mission as if not to make social contact?

Lt. Morris Schaffer: You mean we're gonna go down there? Mingle with the German Army?

Major John Smith: Of course. Why do you think we're not dressed as German sailors?

Lt. Morris Schaffer: We'll be recognized as strangers.

Major John Smith: Training troops come and go all the time. What are six new faces among 600 new faces?

Lt. Morris Schaffer: Look, Major, this is primarily a British operation. I'm an American. I don't even know why the hell I'm here.

Major John Smith: Lieutenant, you're here because you're an American.

Major John Smith: Lieutenant, in the next 15 minutes we have to create enough confusion to get out of here alive.

Lt. Morris Schaffer: Major, right now you got me about as confused as I ever hope to be.

Lt. Morris Schaffer: [referring to what Smith called him earlier to maintain his cover] "Second rate punk," huh?

Major John Smith: All I could think of on the spur of the moment.

Lt. Morris Schaffer: Thanks, that makes it even worse.

Major John Smith: [smiles] Sorry.

[last lines]

Lt. Morris Schaffer: Do me a favor, will you? Next time you have one of these things, keep it an all-British operation.

Major John Smith: I'll try, Lieutenant.

Lt. Morris Schaffer: Look, Major, either you start playing it straight or you can deal me out of this mess. Now we both know that radio operator wasn't killed in any drop. Now with MacPherson dead, there's only five of us left. So either you let me know what's going on or there's only gonna be four.

[repeated line]

Lt. Morris Schaffer: [to Smith] We've got company.

[after Schaffer kills a German with a knife]

Major John Smith: That was quick.

Lt. Morris Schaffer: Fear lent him wings, as the saying goes.

Lt. Morris Schaffer: [to Smith, seeing him with Mary] You seem to have a lot of women stashed around this country, Major.

Major John Smith: [referring to Colonel Turner] They say he knew Hitler quite well.

Lt. Morris Schaffer: Yeah, I THOUGHT he looked a little nuts.

Lt. Morris Schaffer: There's a stop and start button.

[for the cable car]

Major John Smith: See if you can make the motor work.

[a large body of German troops led by field security chief Colonel Weissner storm into the guesthouse pub in a raid]

Col. Weissner: [addressing the crowd] Attention! We are looking for four or five Alpinekorps deserters from Studguardt. To escape they killed two officers and a guardroom sergeant. They were last known to be heading this way.

Major John Smith: [quitely to his men] Clever. Very clever indeed.

Col. Weissner: [continuting to the crowd] I want all the officers of Drafts 13, 14, and 15 to come forward at once!

[to his men]

Col. Weissner: Check their papers. Check them carefully.

Major John Smith: [to his men] Well gentlemen... any suggestions?

[Thomas, Christiansen, and Berkley are silent]

Major John Smith: [to Schaffer] Lieutenant?

Lt. Morris Schaffer: Well, I think we'll stand a lot better chance of getting away outside then we will in here.

Major John Smith: Agreed. Gentlemen... see you after the war.