Lt. Al Garcia Quotes in Striptease (1996)

[about going after Erin without police backup]

Shad: So we're it? A cop and a bouncer?

Lt. Al Garcia: Plus two strippers and a kid. We're in great shape.

Lt. Al Garcia: [in the morgue] Now here comes that brilliant and charming attorney of yours, Mr. Mordecai. Found him 400 yards offshore. Now show him the rest of his kisser.

Medical Examiner: [uncovers Mordecai's face] Crabs find lawyers a particular delicacy, yeah.

Shad: Looks like lasagna. Cover that shit up.

Lt. Al Garcia: You mind telling me why your name was on his calendar for tomorrow?

Shad: I was involved in a litigation with a yogurt company.

Lt. Al Garcia: Just based on my limited experience, this doesn't look like the sort of thing a yogurt company would ordinarily do. You know, I hear this prick represented the same poor kid who got mauled at your club. Now that I find fascinating, Shad!

Shad: He had a picture...

[retching]

Shad: Man, I'm gonna lose it!

[the coroner starts to cover Mordecai's face, Garcia stops him]

Lt. Al Garcia: A picture of what? A certain legislator?

Shad: Yeah... beatin' the kid's ass.

Lt. Al Garcia: And where's the original?

Shad: I got no idea.

[the coroner covers up Mordecai, Garcia hands Shad a box of mints]

Lt. Al Garcia: Here, freshen up. Thanks.

Medical Examiner: Can I interest you in dessert?

Lt. Al Garcia: No, just the check.

[the coroner laughs and wheels Mordecai away]

Lt. Al Garcia: [about Erin] Dilbeck didn't invite her back?

Shad: She said no.

Lt. Al Garcia: Well, that's good. Because I don't think she should go back there, even with you. And what was with her tonight? She seemed edgy.

Shad: She got her moods, man. Could be that time of the month.

Lt. Al Garcia: So now you're the gynecologist-bouncer, bouncer-gynecologist?

Shad: Hey! I just watch out for the girls.

Lt. Al Garcia: Wow... so do I. That makes a grand total of two people in the entire state of Florida. Because the higher-ups in my department, they're not exactly pushing this investigation. Is any of this making sense to you?

Shad: Because of this asshole Congressman.

Lt. Al Garcia: Bingo! We've got two homicides here, and nobody gives a shit except you and me. And I'm worried about that girl. She's all alone out there.

Lt. Al Garcia: [re: Angela] Why don't you drop her off at our house?

Erin Grant: I can't do that.

Lt. Al Garcia: Why not? I told Donna everything. Your whole situation. She said if you needed a hand she'd love to help.

Erin Grant: She doesn't think I'm something out of "A Current Affair"?

Lt. Al Garcia: Erin, come on, you're a terrific girl. You know that, right? So you made a mistake a lot of terrific girls make, you married a bum. What are you gonna do? You gonna beat yourself up for the rest of your life?