Louise Keeley Quotes in The Birdcage (1996)

Louise Keeley: Oh, what interesting china.

Louise Keeley: It looks like young men playing leap frog.

Club Patron: I've never danced with a man before.

Louise Keeley: [in female drag] There's always a first time.

Louise Keeley: [hearing Albert's wails] Is someone else home?

Armand: Just our dog, Piranha. We always lock her in when there's company.

Louise Keeley: Who is this boy, Barbie? When was the last time you saw him?

Barbara Keeley: Please don't call me Barbie. This afternoon at two o'clock. We've been sleeping together for a year.

Senator Kevin Keeley: Oh God, has he been tested?

Louise Keeley: Oh, Kevin!

Barbara Keeley: Yes, and so have I.

[Louise screams]

Louise Keeley: If necessary, we'll get the Pope's blessing, it's not hard!

Louise Keeley: It's so dangerous! You could've fallen!

Senator Kevin Keeley: I did!

[on the phone]

Senator Kevin Keeley: Hello, Ben. Ready for what? WHAT?

Louise Keeley: What's the matter, Kevin?

Senator Kevin Keeley: Jackson's dead.

Louise Keeley: Oh my God!

Senator Kevin Keeley: He died in bed? Whose bed? A prostitute?

Louise Keeley: No!

Senator Kevin Keeley: A minor? And black?

Louise Keeley: What?

Senator Kevin Keeley: I don't believe this! I don't FUCKING believe this!

Louise Keeley: I noticed you didn't have this kind of blind sympathy for Bessy Jackson!

Senator Kevin Keeley: Bessy Jackson is an insensitive cow!

Senator Kevin Keeley: I'm so glad I got on Jackson's bandwagon instead of Dole. Dole is just too, too...

Louise Keeley: Dark.

Senator Kevin Keeley: Well, I was gonna say liberal, but he's dark, too.

Louise Keeley: I like its... severity.