Louise Quotes in Highlander II: The Quickening (1991)

[MacLeod has just decapitated two villains and has suddenly become 30 years younger]

Louise: Who are you?

Connor MacLeod: I'm Connor MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod. I was banished from the Planet Zeist 500 years ago... and I cannot die.

[They embrace and kiss]

Willis Newton: So, what's a fella do in Omaha?

Louise: Well, he could chew gum.

Louise: I thought you said you didn't smoke.

Willis Newton: I didn't say I didn't smoke, I said it's a waste of time.

Chino Valdez: Now what the hell is that?

Louise: It's a sidesaddle.

Chino Valdez: A sidesaddle? You mean to tell me you're gonna put that on the side of a horse?

[Chino criticizes Louise's riding technique]

Chino Valdez: Aw, that's terrible - terrible! You're still bouncin'.

Louise: I have to bounce some!

Chino Valdez: Yeah, I guess so. You have a lot of bouncy parts.

Louise: [as Harlan is starting to rape Thelma, Louise puts a gun to the back of his head] You let her go, you fuckin' asshole, or I'm gonna splatter your ugly face all over this nice car!

Harlan: [letting Thelma go, as Louise presses the gun harder into his neck] All right, hey, hey, hey, just calm down. We were just having a little fun, that's all.

Louise: Looks like you got a real fucked-up idea of fun.

[the two women back away several steps]

Louise: Turn around. In the future, when a woman's crying like that, she isn't having any fun!

Harlan: [the women turn and walk away] Bitch! I shoulda gone ahead and fucked her!

Louise: What did you say?

Harlan: I said suck my cock.

Louise: [Louise shoots him]

Thelma: Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Louise: Get the car.

Thelma: Oh, Jesus Christ. Louise, you shot him. Oh, my God.

Louise: Get the car.

Louise: [looking down at Harlan, in a soft but angry voice] You watch your mouth, buddy!

Louise: In the future, when a woman's crying like that, she isn't having any fun!

Louise: I think I fucked up. I think I got us in a situation where we both could get killed. Damn, I don't know why I just didn't go to the police right away.

Thelma: You know why. You already said.

Louise: What'd I say again?

Thelma: Nobody'd believe us. We'd still get in trouble, we'd still have our lives ruined. You know what else?

Louise: What?

Thelma: That guy was hurting me. If you hadn't come out when you did, he would've hurt me a lot worse. And probably nothing would've happened to him 'cause everybody did see me dancin' with him all night. They would've made out like I'd asked for it. My life would've been ruined a whole lot worse than it is now. At least now I'm havin' some fun. And I'm not sorry that son of a bitch is dead. I'm just sorry it was you that did it and not me.

Louise: You remember when we first met?

Jimmy: Yeah.

Louise: What happened? Tell me what you said.

Jimmy: I said you had a nice pair of eyes.

Louise: And what did I say? Do you remember?

Jimmy: Yeah, you shut 'em. Asked me if I knew what color they were.

Louise: And what'd you say?

Jimmy: I didn't know.

Louise: [she covers his eyes] Jimmy, what color are my eyes?

Jimmy: They're brown.

Louise: Oh, darlin', I'm so happy for you. That's great. I really am. You finally got laid properly. That's so sweet.

[last lines]

[with a cliff in front of them and cops behind them]

Thelma: OK, then, listen. Let's not get caught.

Louise: What are you talkin' about?

Thelma: Let's keep goin'!

Louise: What d'you mean?

Thelma: Go.

[Thelma nods ahead of them]

Louise: You sure?

Thelma: Yeah. Yeah.

[they hug and kiss, then Louise steps on the gas; Arkansas State Police Investigator Hal Slocumb starts to chase their car on foot]

Max: Hey!

Louise: Well, you get what you settle for.

Thelma: [shouting wildly as she runs back to the car] Driiive, Louise! Drive! Drive the car! Come on. Go! Go! Go go go go go!

Louise: What happened?

[Thelma holds up money]

Louise: You robbed the store? You robbed the goddamn store?

Thelma: Well, we needed the money.

Louise: Oh!

Thelma: It's not like I killed anybody, for God's sake!

Louise: Thelma!

Thelma: I'm sorry, we needed the money, now we have it.

Louise: Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit, Thelma!

Thelma: Louise. Louise.

Louise: Oh, shit!

Thelma: Come on, get a grip. Drive us to goddamn Mexico, will you?

Louise: Okay. Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Well, how... How'd you... I mean, what'd you say?

Thelma: Well, I just waltzed on in there and I said...

[cut to surveillance video of Thelma robbing the store as watched by Hal, Max, and Darryl]

Louise: Well, we're not in the middle of nowhere, but we can see it from here.

Louise: Look, you shoot off a guy's head with his pants down, believe me, Texas is not the place you wanna get caught.

Louise: Thelma, listen up, now. If you even think he knows, I mean, even if you're not sure, I want you to hang up, you understand?

Thelma: [dials the number]

Darryl: [exchanges looks with police, then answers phone] Hello.

Thelma: Darryl, it's me.

Darryl: [with forced cheer] Thelma, hello!

Thelma: [hangs up] He knows.

Thelma: Louise, shoot the radio.

Louise: Right.

[she fires at the AM/FM radio]

Thelma: The *police* radio, Louise!

Louise: Damn, Jimmy. What'd you do, take some kinda pill that makes you say all the right stuff?

Jimmy: Yeah. I'm chokin' on it.

Thelma: Hey Louise, better slow down. I'd just die if we get caught over a speeding ticket.

Louise: You know, for the first time in my life I wish this car wasn't green.

Thelma: Are you sure we should be driving like this? I mean, in broad daylight and everything?

Louise: No we shouldn't, but I want to put some distance between us and

[shouts]

Louise: the scene of our last goddamn crime!

[they both laugh and scream with joy]

Thelma: Oh, man! You wouldn't have believed it. It was like I'd been doin' it all my life. I mean, nobody would believe it.

Louise: Think you found your callin'?

Thelma: Maybe. Maybe. The call of the wild!

[gets up in her seat as both scream and laugh]

Louise: You are disturbed!

Thelma: Yeah, I believe I am.

Louise: [talking about their cabin vacation in the mountains later in the day] You mean you haven't asked him, yet? Thelma, for Christ's sake! Is he your husband or your father? It is just two days, for God's sake. Don't be a child. Tell him you're going with me.

[grins mischieviously]

Louise: Tell him I'm having a nervous breakdown.

Thelma: That don't carry much weight with Darryl. He already thinks you're out of your mind.

Louise: Yeah, where do you get off behaving like that with women you don't even know? Huh? Huh? How'd you feel if someone did that to your mother? Or your sister? Or your wife?

Louise: You've always been crazy. This is just the first chance you've ever had to really express yourself.

Thelma: [Louise tells her the police probably tapped Darryl's phone] Tapped the phones? What're you talking about?

Louise: Come on, Thelma, Murder One and Armed Robbery.

Thelma: Murder One? We can't even say it was self defense?

Louise: Well, it wasn't. We were walkin' away. We got away.

Thelma: Yeah, but they don't know that. It was just you and me there. I'll say he raped me and you had to shoot him. That's almost the truth.

Louise: Won't work.

Thelma: Why not?

Louise: There's no physical evidence. We can't prove he did it. We can't even probably prove by now that he touched you.

Thelma: God. The law is some tricky shit, isn't it? Hey, how do you know about all this stuff, anyway?

Louise: Besides, what're we gonna say about the robbery? There's no excuse for that. There's no such thing as justifiable robbery.

Thelma: All right, Louise!

[sees a white cowboy hat in the backseat]

Thelma: Where'd you get this?

Louise: Stole it.

Louise: [Thelma is about to toss an empty bottle out of the car] Thelma, don't you litter.

[they've just discovered that J.D. has stolen all of Louise's money]

Thelma: Oh! Oh, goddamn it! I don't believe it. I've never been lucky! Not one time! Shit! That son of a bitch burned me. I don't believe it. I don't believe it. Louise? You okay? Louise. I'm sorry, I mean it.

Thelma: [Louise has her wrists over her face as Thelma kneels down to face her] Louise, it's okay. It's okay.

Louise: [Louise lifts her tear-streamed face] No, Thelma, it's not okay! It's definitely not okay. None of this is okay! I mean, what are we gonna do for money, huh? How we gonna get gas? I mean, trade on our good looks? I mean...

[she starts sobbing]

Louise: oh, goddamn it, Thelma, it's not okay!

Thelma: Wait. What? You wanna go to Mexico from Oklahoma, but you don't wanna go through Texas?

Louise: Thelma, you know how I feel about Texas! We're not going that way!

Thelma: Yeah, I know, Louise, but we're running for our lives. I mean, can't you make an exception? I mean, look at the map! The only thing between Oklahoma and Mexico is Texas! Look.

J.D.: So, tell me something, Miss Thelma. How is it you ain't got any kids? I mean, God gives you something special, I think you oughta pass it on.

Thelma: Well, Darryl, that's my husband...

J.D.: Darryl?

Thelma: Yeah. He says he's not ready yet. He says he's still too much of a kid himself. He kinda prides himself on being infantile.

Louise: He's got a lot to be proud of.

Thelma: Louise and him don't get along.

Louise: That's putting it mildly.

Thelma: She thinks he's a pig.

Louise: I know he's a pig.

Darryl: [answers phone again] Yep?

Louise: Darryl, this is Louise. Let me talk to the police.

Darryl: Hey Louise!

Louise: [sour tone of voice] Hi. Let me talk to the police.

Darryl: [stuttering] What do you mean? There's no police here.

[Hal and Max both scoff and roll their eyes]

Thelma: But, umm, I don't know, you know, something's, like, crossed over in me... and I can't go back. I mean, I just couldn't live.

Louise: I know. I know what you mean. Anyway, we don't wanna end up on the damn Geraldo show.

Louise: You let her go, you fuckin' asshole, or I'm gonna splatter your ugly face all over this nice car!

[about the money]

Jimmy: It's a place called the Vagabond Motel. It's at 1921 North East 23rd. It's under "Peaches".

Louise: What?

Jimmy: That's the code word. I miss you, Peaches.

Thelma: [stopping suddenly at the edge of a cliff] What in the hell is this?

Louise: I don't know. I think... I think it's the goddamn Grand Canyon.

Thelma: Isn't it beautiful?

Louise: Yeah. It's something else, all right.

[the ladies are just starting off on their road trip. Thelma lifts out Darryl's pistol]

Thelma: Oh, Louise, umm, will you take care of this gun?

Louise: What in hell did you bring that for?

Thelma: Oh, come on! Psycho killers, or bears or snakes? I just don't know how to use it. Will you take care of it?

Louise: Put it away! Just, here, put it in my purse. Thelma, good lord!

Louise: Is he your husband or your father?

Louise: You know, certain words and phrases just keep drifting through my mind. Things like, incarceration, cavity search, death by electrocution, life imprisonment, shit like that. You know what I'm sayin'? So do I want to come out alive? I don't know. I... I don't know. I think we're gonna have to think about that.

Thelma: I know it's crazy, but I just feel like I got a knack for this shit.

Louise: I believe you do.

Jimmy: Did I hear somebody say "Peaches"?

Louise: Oh my God. Jimmy.

Jimmy: That's the secret word. Show the lady what she's won, Don.

Jimmy: I want to give you something.

Louise: Give it to me here.

[Jimmy pulls out an engagement ring]

Jimmy: Why don't you try it on? You didn't see that one coming, did you?

Louise: Why, Jimmy? Why now?

Jimmy: Try not to get too excited, Louise. I just flew across two states with that ring in my fuckin' hand, and uh... You know I hate to fly.

Thelma: You awake?

Louise: Guess you could call it that, my eyes are open.

Thelma: Me too. I feel awake!

Louise: Good.

Thelma: Wide awake. I don't remember ever feeling this awake. You know what I mean? Everything looks different. You feel like that, too, like you got something to look forward to?

Louise: We'll be drinking margaritas by the sea, mamacita.

Thelma: Hey, we could change our names.

Louise: We could live in a hacienda.

Thelma: I gonna get a job. I'm gonna work at Club Med.

Louise: Yeah. Now what kind of deal is that cop gonna have to come up with to beat that?

Thelma: Have to be pretty good.

Louise: Have to be pretty damn good.

Thelma: I had a suggestion that we go to the police, but you didn't like that, so frankly, Louise, I'm out of ideas.

Louise: Well, what's the big rush, Thelma? I mean, if we give 'em enough time, they'll come to us.

Louise: Tell him you're having a wonderful time and you'll be home tomorrow night.

Thelma: Will I be?

Louise: I don't know. I won't.

Thelma: [to Louise] I told you to slow down. Officer, I told her to slow down.

Louise: She did.

[gives the state trooper her license]

Louise: How fast was I goin'?

State Trooper: About 110.

Louise: Oh.

Louise: [bringing two pots of coffee to a table] Decaf or regular?

Louise: Uh, regular.

Louise: You girls are kind of young to be smoking, don't ya think?

[girls roll their eyes]

Louise: Ruins your sex drive.

[cut to Louise smoking in the back room]

Louise: [a little way into their driving trip, Louise is smoking, Thelma takes one of Louise's cigarettes and mimes smoking it, to her reflection in the side mirror. Louise looks over and grins] Thelma, what are you doin'?

Thelma: Smokin'. Hey, I'm Louise.

Louise: I'm in deep shit, Jimmy. Deep Shit, Arkansas.

Louise: Besides, what're we gonna say about the robbery? There's no excuse for that. There's no such thing as justifiable robbery.

Thelma: All right, Louise!

[sees a white cowboy hat in the backseat]

Thelma: Where'd you get this?

Louise: Stole it.

Louise: What did Darryl have to say?

Thelma: Oh, he said,

[in a mocking tone of voice]

Thelma: "Okay, Thelma, I just wanted to make sure you was all right. I sure hope you're havin' fun. You deserve it after all you've put up with me. I love you, honey."

[she swigs from a mini-bottle of bourbon]

Thelma: So, how long before we're in goddamn Mexico?

[realizing that Thelma has committed to journeying with her, Louise grins]

[they are being pursued by about a dozen police cars]

Thelma: I guess everything from here on in is going to be pretty shitty.

Louise: Unbearable, I'd imagine.

Thelma: Well, look, everything that we got to lose is gone anyway!

Louise: Oh, God, how do you stay so positive?

Louise: Look, Thelma, you just gotta stop talking to people. You gotta stop being so open. We're fugitives now, all right? Let's start behaving like that.

Edith Piaf: In three months... that's right, in April, I'll be a hit at the Olympic. With a full house, we'll be flush.

Louise: Edith, your liver cells are not functioning normally. You've been ill. You need rest. It's serious.

Edith Piaf: I'm just 44. I'm not in the tomb yet.

Louise: You're not even a good sheep farmer, Albert. Your sheep are everywhere. The one thing a sheep farmer has to do is keep all of the sheep in one place, all right? I went to your farm the other day, and I saw one in the back yard, three way up on the ridge, two in the pond and one on the roof.

Albert: Okay, that's Bridget, all right? She has a problem with retardation, but she's full of love.

Albert: The guy is one of the best shots around. I look like I have Parkinson's next to him.

Louise: What is that?

Albert: It's just another way God mysteriously shows that He loves us.

Louise: It's a rental. Like Netflix for purses.

Carrie Bradshaw: Aside from the space issue... why'd you move to New York?

Louise: ...to fall in love.

Louise: So what happened, were you bored in Manchester?

Johnny: Was I bored? No, I wasn't fuckin' bored. I'm never bored. That's the trouble with everybody - you're all so bored. You've had nature explained to you and you're bored with it, you've had the living body explained to you and you're bored with it, you've had the universe explained to you and you're bored with it. So now you want cheap thrills and like plenty of them, and it don't matter how tawdry or vacuous they are as long as it's new, as long as it's new, as long as it flashes and fuckin' bleeps in forty fuckin' different colors. So whatever else you can say about me, I'm not fuckin' bored.

Louise: What are you doing here? You look like shit.

Johnny: I'm just tryin' to blend in with the surroundings.

Louise: How did you get here?

Johnny: Well, basically, there was this little dot, right? And the dot went bang and the bang expanded. Energy formed into matter, matter cooled, matter lived, the amoeba to fish, to fish to fowl, to fowl to frog, to frog to mammal, the mammal to monkey, to monkey to man, amo amas amat, quid pro quo, memento mori, ad infinitum, sprinkle on a little bit of grated cheese and leave under the grill till Doomsday.

Louise: Well, I don't know if I want to get married, but I wouldn't say no to a proper relationship.

Sophie: What is a proper relationship?

Louise: Living with someone who talks to you after they've boinked you.

Jeremy: Hope I haven't given you AIDS, Sophie.

Louise: Jesus Christ.

Sophie: Are you serious?

Jeremy: I was merely jesting.

Louise: Very funny.

Jeremy: I think AIDS is rather healthy in its way.

Louise: You what?

Jeremy: I realise that's not the fashionable thing to say, of course.

Louise: No, it's not.

Jeremy: But the world is over crowded, isn't it? It does need a little pruning.

Sophie: You fuckin' better be joking?

Louise: Sometimes I wish I was back in Manchester.

Sophie: What for?

Louise: People talk to you.

Sophie: I talk to you.

Louise: Yeah, but you talk a pile of shit.

Louise: What? You don't want me to cut off your prick and shove it up your ass?

[after da Vinci opens a locked door by removing the pins from the hinges]

Louise: Why, that was pure genius!

Leonardo da Vinci: Yes! I shall go down in history as the man who opened a door!

Henry: [to Paulette and Louise, confused] Were there just the two of you?

Louise: And, the chicken, Your Highness.

[With other poor black seniors, watching Chance on TV]

Louise: It's for sure a white man's world in America. Look here: I raised that boy since he was the size of a piss-ant. And I'll say right now, he never learned to read and write. No, sir. Had no brains at all. Was stuffed with rice pudding between th' ears. Shortchanged by the Lord, and dumb as a jackass. Look at him now! Yes, sir, all you've gotta be is white in America, to get whatever you want. Gobbledy-gook!

[first lines]

Chance the Gardener: Good morning, Louise.

Louise: He's dead, Chance. The old man's dead.

Chance the Gardener: I see.

[Chance goes back to watching TV]

Louise: She

[Pierrette]

Louise: asked me to keep quiet and gave me 10,000 francs.

Pierrette: Which I regret, you hussy.

Louise: What?

Pierrette: Everyone knows you sleep around.

Louise: You know, since we sleep with the same ones, let me explain the bribe. I overheard you say to Monsieur, "Give me the money or you'll die."

Pierrette: No I said, "I'll die."

Louise: No, "You'll die."

Pierrette: My poor Louise! Your word is no good, you're just a maid.

Louise: Nor is yours. You're just a whore.

Pierrette: Which I prefer.

Louise: I fall in love with a man - his mind, period.

Lila Jute: There's a limit.

Louise: No, period. End of sentence. End of paragraph. Close the book, we're done. Give me a man with intellect... I could care less about the packaging. You don't fuck the packaging.

Lila Jute: Yeah you do.

Louise: You fuck the mind, Lila, you fuck the mind. Period. Close the book, end the sentence, close the whatever.

Louise: He is always very depressed. I think that if he'd been a successful criminal, he would have felt better. You know, he never made the 'ten most wanted' list. It's very unfair voting; it's who you know.

Louise: He'd have the gang over for a meeting and I'd put out a little tray of pretzels and bullets... I had to. He's my husband.

Louise: A relationship ending is like a death just two people know about. A whole life gets lost, everything we did together. All the places we traveled, the fights, the small moments of tenderness.

[first lines]

Louise: [on the phone] Michelle.

Michelle: Yeah?

Louise: I threw heck to the wind and drove up to the country a day early, want to surprise Ian, spend the long weekend with him. So, I need you to call Metler and tell him that the papers were filed yesterday and everything is fine, and I will talk to him first thing on Monday morning. Then call my dentist, cancel my appointment, and reschedule it for Tuesday afternoon. And then cancel my meetings for the rest of the day. You know what to do, that's why you are my assistant. Kiss, kiss, kiss.

Louise: She's very pretty. Not so bright, though.

Ian: Let's talk this through. Let's work our marriage out, you and I. Even if it's only for fifteen minutes.

Louise: Are you just saying that because you're taped to a toilet?

Louise: Starting tomorrow there will be hourly tours of Roxy Carmichael's birthplace. You'll see where Roxy slept and where she ate during her wonder years. You'll also see pictures of her beloved dog, Bonkers.

Town person: She loved that dog. She used to ride it. It was a big dog.

Elaine: I know how to get the money out of the money ball!

Louise: How?

Elaine: Suck!

Louise: Oh, I don't know, there's got to be some way we can make money.

Elaine: We can make porno films and all wear ski masks.

Jane: No, Robert and I got bombed out one night. We put a little "I love you" tattoo on my ankle.

Elaine: [to Jane] Ok, we'll wear masks, you wear socks.

Louise: Come on, let's get out of here.

Elaine: What do you think about a doggy bag for the butter?

Albert: Louise, I swear to you there is no money. If you only knew what was going on in that hospital. It's not only the IRS, I'm in deep financial trouble, and I need you to hold me, to hug me, to kiss me, to reassure me that everything isn't as hopeless as it looks.

Louise: The only thing that is hopeless, Albert is that you're horny 24 hours a day.

Albert: [quoting Abraham Lincoln] You know what he said, "With malice toward none and charity to all."

Louise: And the last thing he said was "Look honey, I've got these two great seats for the theater tonight."

Albert: Jesus, why did I have to bring up Lincoln?

Elaine: [Louise has just jumped in the water to get the bag of money] I thought you said you couldn't swim!

Louise: [flailing her arms] I can't!

Elaine: [groans] Ok, You'll go get the money bag and I'll save the genius.

Jane: You know, we could split up the money right now...

Elaine: SWIM! NOW!

Louise: You know what they say, when God closes a door, he opens a beer.

Louise: You're not the only one that had an unhappy childhood, there are millions like you, and, in my eyes, *they* are the tough ones, not you!

Louise: "I love you" is such an inadequate way of saying I love you. It doesn't quite describe how much it hurts sometimes.

Louise: I can be very objectionable.

Louise: You've changed, David. Something's changed you.

David Sutton: No. We were through before I went to Canada. I suppose I *should* have put that in writing.

Louise: But now you're hard, and bitter.

David Sutton: Bored, I think, would be a bit closer to it.

Louise: You're not going to marry her. You're not good enough for her.

Louise: [on meeting again after long separation] Aren't you going to kiss me?

David Sutton: I had no plans one way or the other.

Louise: All right, then. Go ahead and kiss me. You don't have to mean it.

David Sutton: [gives her the briefest peck]

Louise: I didn't expect you to mean it *that* little.

David Sutton: When a woman kisses me, Louise, she has to take pot luck.

Louise: Have you ever been so bored that it actually made you sick? I mean sick!

Sgt. Guffy: Here's your half, 320 dollars, now what'd you make?

Louise: 1,230 dollars.

Sgt. Guffy: Oh? Whatta you been sellin? I don't see much stock gone.

Louise: Take it.

Sgt. Guffy: I won't take it until I know how you made it. What do you think I am?

Louise: What do you think I am?

[last lines]

Jonathan: I'm not kind.

Louise: I don't mean "weak" kind the way so many men are. I mean the kindness that comes from enormous strength, from an inner power so strong that every act, no matter what, is more proof of that power. That's what all women resent. That's why they try to cut you down, because your knowledge of yourself and them is so right, so true, that it exposes the lies by which they, every scheming one of them, live by. It takes a true woman to understand that the purest form of love is of a man who denies himself to her, of a man who inspires worship, because he has no need for any woman. Because he has himself, and who is better, more beautiful, more powerful, more perfect... you're getting hard... more strong, more masculine, more extraordinary, more... bust. It's rising, it's rising... more virile, domineering. More irresistible. It's up, it's in the air...

[first lines]

Louise: Heard you shoot. What was it?

Augusta: Somethin' small n' fast.

Louise: Rabbit?

Augusta: Maybe. I don't know if it was even really there. Once that gun goes off, everythin' livin' is gone.

Louise: Why's it so hard when the only thing there is you and the rabbit?

Mad: [serving up stew] The wood is big and the rabbit's small.

Augusta: Go change and come back to work.

Louise: She's the nigger, she should do it.

Augusta: Like I told you, Louise: We all niggers now.

Louise: She trusts you this time. I trust you.

Doctor Génessier: Me, I'm hoping, that's all.

Louise: Well, there's more to this world than what you see. Why are you so skeptical?

Elena: I'm not skeptical.

Louise: Yes, you are.

Elena: I just don't believe it.

Louise: Go and watch some TV and make your brain melt!

Louise: That was the most beautiful lie I heard in my entire life.

Louise: You brought them to us!

Lena: That's not true I didn't say anything to him!

Louise: How did they find us then?

Lena: You kill people every night! Do you think this goes unnoticed?

Charlotte: She's right Louise. Cleaning up has never been our strong point.

Lena: How many of you are there?

Louise: 40 women in Europe, about 100 all across the world.

Lena: And the men?

Charlotte: They are extinct.

Louise: I am teaching you something you don't want to know.

Nora: Then why did we go to Paris?

Louise: You should not have killed the pilot.

Lena: Well you are the first human being to ever see it...

Louise: I am not a human being.

Louise: If you knew deep within your soul that there was only one person in the world meant just for you, the only person who could make you happy, what would you give up? What would you sacrifice? And how long would you search for them? How many centuries? And if you ever did find them, then what? Could you ever let them go? Wouldn't you grab onto them with both arms... and never... never let them go?

Louise: [having slit her cat-murdering neighbour Valerie's throat, watching blood continue to spurt] Oh. This is so disgusting. O my god I don't know how people do this. Ohh!

Chet: I think we're making fools of ourselves.

Louise: What?

Chet: Yeah.

Louise: I'm making a fool of myself?

Chet: Well, *we* are. Yeah.

Louise: Well, who are you to criticize me?

Chet: I'm not criticizing; I'm just saying.

Louise: Well, you don't have to tell me I'm making a fool of myself. Look, I know how to dance my way. I don't need you to tell me about it. I come from a musical background. I take care of a family of five. I have a college degree, and I don't need you to tell me I'm making a fool of myself.

Chet: Like Christ said, you know, Help thy neighbor, man.

Billy Mae: He's the one that said that?

Louise: Billy Mae, what difference does it make who said it?

Chet: What difference does it make who said it? It could've been, uh, it could've been him, it could've been Gandhi, it could've been Buddha, it could've been Spooda, it could've been your daddy, it could've been your mama, it could've been your uh-uh, it could've been your huh-huh... What difference, man?

Louise: Junkie mum's better than no mum.

Louise: [laughing] I'm gonna get you!

Henriette: Our day for us is blue.

Louise: The light for us is black...

Henriette: ...and other people's sun has made us blind...

Louise: ...but when it is hidden...

Henriette: ...our dream begins.

Louise: They'll never know.

Henriette: The two blind orphans can see at night...

Louise: ...like the cat!

Henriette: Like the tiger! Like the beasts!

Louise: Want to go for a walk?

Henriette: He sleeps like a rock.

Louise: I'm hungry!

Henriette: We'll go find one of our true homes - I can feel one close by!

Louise: You've changed your mind pretty quickly.

Paul: No, you've changed my mind.

Louise: A ghost is an emotion bent out of shape, condemned to repeat itself, time and time again until it rights the wrong that was done.

Evan: You don't sound Italian, are you really from around here?

Louise: Not far. I traveled a lot, though. So I sound weird as fuck.

Louise: I understand about half of myself.

Evan: Then you're half magic.

Louise: I'm half undiscovered science, bunch of confusing biochemistry, and some crazy hormones.

Louise: So we're sleeping together and I'm, like, making you meals, but you can't tell me anything?

Evan: You never got lonely?

Louise: Not since I met you.

Evan: So you've never been in love before?

Louise: I guess not.

Evan: Not in thousands of years?

Louise: I am not a sociopath, okay? I just have really bad luck.

Louise: I don't want to die and I don't want to watch anyone die.

Louise: I'm studying evolutionary genetics.

Louise: It's easier to isolate genes in a homogeneous population.

Nial: Who's in charge?

Jenny: I am.

Louise: Well, I think we should vote.

Nial: I got this.

[holds up his gun]

Jenny: Then shoot me, or shut the fuck up!

Louise: Come here you great, big man. Sit next to me.

Blossom: Me?

Louise: Yes, you.

Blossom: Okay, doll.

Louise: Doll! With that one word, you've won me. Are you a gangster?

Blossom: Oh, I give that up since I got outta Sing Sing.

Louise: You've been in Sing SIng? Girls! This beautiful man has been in Sing Sing!

Dean Seagrave: I'm coming home, Louise. There's a flight leaving tonight at 10 o'clock. I'll be in LA tomorrow at noon.

Louise: Great, well I'll shave my pussy. Bye.

Dean Seagrave: It's his mother.

Louise: Whose mother?

Dean Seagrave: Pablo's.

Louise: What? The subtle one? I thought she lived in Argentina.

Dean Seagrave: [scanning the crowd] Pablo must be here.

Louise: Introduce us, I wanna ask her where she got her shoes.

Louise: [across her office, while on the phone] Is anybody going to Jamba Juice? I would love a Berry Blast with a Protein Boost - fast.

Louise: [getting back to her call] I'm here, Dean.

Kate: What's your dream?

Louise: Kate. I'm too old for dreams.

Kate: The Chinese people were brainwashed. I don't get cults.

Louise: I was in a cult once. It was called marriage.

Bobby: Please step out of the vehicle.

Louise: He can't step out of the vehicle, he's in a wheelchair.

Louise: You haven't heard from Henry huh?

Samantha: I tried to find him at the place where he supposedly worked and they said they'd never heard of him so either he never existed or he just doesn't want anything to do with me.

Louise: What do you want?

Samantha: I want him.

Louise: I seem to remember that in our last session you said you were in love. How's that going?

Samantha: Well, umm I sorta met this other guy, Henry. He's a...well...he's really....he's different.

Louise: You sell the drugs, which compromises judgment, which causes the unprotected sex, and contributes to AIDS in these younger kids.

Gino: We give them the condoms, don't we?

Louise: They throw the condoms away, Gino.

Jonas Bechmann: You spiked my drink, didn't you? Didn't you?

Louise: Yes, with a rape drug. I was told to get you into the room, until you passed out.

Louise: [Walking with a candle during a blackout in an office building] Hey, there's a live one. Go ahead, ask him.

Female Office Worker: Oh, you ask him.

Louise: Everybody's going to the Board Room in 2709 - the one with no windows. We're having a party, wanna come?

Female Office Worker: Tell him what kind.

Louise: Hmm-ha-ha. It's a braille party.

David Stillwell: A what?

Female Office Worker: Braille. Get it? The touch system.

Female Office Worker: [Walking with a candle during a blackout in an office building] Where are you going Louise?

Louise: I don't know. I just had to get out of there. Mr. Hannick is grabby enough when the lights are on.

Female Office Worker: Hey, I could go in there and he'd think it was you!